Chapter 206 is jealousy, deep jealousy
Most people would never use the word "envy" to describe Lin Yulan.
Because she really has too much.
She has a father who loves her, a happy family, a happy childhood, and is loved by everyone...
These are all things Qin Shu doesn't have.
In the eyes of the public, Lin Yulan is a nearly perfect being. How could they possibly envy a wild girl from the countryside?
but……
After a slight surprise, Lin Yulan nodded gently.
She has completely opened her heart and told Jiang Rou about this past event. She will no longer hide anything but reveal her true self.
"I envy her, I envy her to the point of going crazy. It's not just envy, it's jealousy, deep jealousy."
After Lin Yulan finished speaking, she immediately laughed at herself.
This feeling of jealousy troubled Lin Yulan from beginning to end.
The good upbringing she received since childhood did not allow Lin Yulan to have such negative emotions.
Lin Yulan knew intellectually that this emotion was wrong, but emotionally, she was completely out of control.
She was deeply jealous of Qin Shu.
She was like an ant in the dark, jealous of Qin Shu who was standing in the sun.
Lin Yulan's jealousy was not simply due to physical reasons, as she could not get along with boys like Qin Shu.
But...
She was always tied tightly by an invisible rope.
It would be impossible for her to live as carefree and unrestrained as Qin Shu in her life.
That afternoon is deep in my memory.
When Lin Yulan looked down from the second floor, she saw not only the brilliant smile on Qin Shu's face, but also the proud and unruly soul of this girl.
Many years later.
Lin Yulan has met so many people, but she has never met another one like Qin Shu.
Except, Jiang Rou.
Jiang Rou looks completely different from Qin Shu.
She is slender and delicate, beautiful and elegant, and is more like the second Lin Yulan.
But Jiang Rou gives people a feeling of the heat of the sun and freedom.
She could make a scene at Xu Chunxiang's house just for the sake of two children who were not related to her by blood.
She could also interact with Song Qingqian if she wanted to, amid the sighs and discussions of the crowd, without caring about the eyes of outsiders.
Jiang Rou lives in a very secular age, but she is not bound by the rules and regulations of the world.
Qin Shu used her thorns to tell everyone that she was not to be messed with.
Jiang Rou used a gentler method to accomplish what she wanted to do.
The methods they use are different.
But their free souls are the same.
Perhaps for this reason, Lin Yulan felt that Jiang Rou had a familiar feeling, which made her want to get closer.
If she gets a little closer, will she be able to become like this too?
Deep in Lin Yulan's heart, it seemed as if her younger self was murmuring softly.
…
As Lin Yulan revealed her heart.
Jiang Rou finally saw into her true heart.
Amidst all the praises of being "gentle and virtuous" and "having a broad perspective", Lin Yulan has always suppressed her true self.
This kind of self-struggle, but the helplessness of being unable to break free, can only turn into jealousy in the end.
Since ancient times, the word "jealous woman" has defined the emotion of jealousy and turned it into countless insults.
But Jiang Rou doesn't think so.
"Sister Yulan, whether it's envy or jealousy, it's not a terrible thing. It's just an emotion that everyone has, including me."
"For example, I would be jealous of Song Qingqian because she could make clothes and sew so neatly. No matter how much I practiced, I could never do that."
"For example, if someone wins a few million in the lottery... it means that they have been showered with wealth. I would also feel jealous and envious, and it would be the kind that makes my heart ache."
"You don't have to be so hard on yourself. We are all just ordinary people. We are not heartless. It is normal to have emotions."
Jiang Rou tried to comfort Lin Yulan with some simple examples.
But Lin Yulan's mood did not improve at all, and she remained gloomy and solemn.
She frowned tightly, and tears welled up in her eyes.
"No...no...it's not like that...I'm jealous of Qin Shu, not just because of these things...but also because of many, many things...I'm jealous of her...she's the one Guangming likes."
Jiang Rou was startled.
What is supposed to come finally comes.
After all, it is a matter related to Lin Yulan's marriage, so how could it not involve emotions?
A drop of sour and transparent tear slid down from the corner of Lin Yulan's eye.
Lin Yulan quickly raised her hand and wiped away the tears.
Even at this point, Lin Yulan was so heartbroken, but she still did not allow herself to shed tears.
Behind perfection, there is unknown repression.
After wiping away her tears, Lin Yulan kept taking deep breaths.
Slowly calm down.
Then comes the second half of this story...
…
Qin Shu was twelve years old when he first came to the compound.
At that time, Lin Yulan was fourteen years old and Liang Guangming was also fourteen years old.
In the blink of an eye, four years have passed.
At that time, Qin Shu was sixteen years old.
Under the careful care of Qin Shu's grandfather, Qin Shu is no longer dark and thin.
She became slender and graceful, with the beauty and figure of a young girl.
Although his appearance has changed, Qin Shu's personality has not changed at all.
She is still free and uninhibited, and still likes to compete with boys.
From running speed, to holding onto the horizontal bar to climb up, to climbing trees to get bird eggs, Qin Shu never loses.
Many boys are afraid of her because they feel embarrassed to lose to her.
Lin Yulan could often hear them laughing outside at home.
"Qin Shu, you haven't done your homework yet, be careful that the teacher will come to you to report the incident."
"——If you don't write it, then don't write it! My grandpa said that as long as I'm happy, I can do whatever I want!"
"Qin Shu, come out quickly! The fat guy is bullying girls again. He's lifting her skirt."
"——This bastard, I'm going to beat him till he piss and poop today! Here I come! Just wait! I won't spare him with my fists."
"Qin Shu, Brother Guangming said he would take us to the shooting range this afternoon, let us touch real guns, and let us practice shooting! Do you want to go?"
"——What? Real gun? Can you shoot? I want to go! I want to go! Wait for me for a minute, I'll be down right away! Don't even think about abandoning me, I want to go with Liang Guangming!"
It was summer vacation, a hot afternoon.
A group of half-grown children squeezed into an army green truck and sat on the sun-baked wheels.
At first glance, they are all boys with shaved heads.
Among them, there was a girl with short hair and pretty looks.
The hot wind blew her hair.
She held onto the handlebars with one hand and stood up straight, not bending at all as the car swayed.
Just on the other side of the military vehicle.
Just like this, there stood a tall and upright figure.
That person was the eighteen-year-old Liang Guangming.