0026 026 The world is not a stage for one person.
Xu Mei pushed away Cai Zhiquan, who was drunk and harassing her, finally satisfied with the old lecher. She gathered her clothes and went home wearily.
In recent years, she has rarely had such a quiet time alone as tonight. The air outside the window is stuffy, and soon it starts to rain. A cool breeze blows in through the cracks in the window, blowing Xu Mei's nightgown loose.
I remember one dark night more than twenty years ago, she gave birth to her daughter alone in the basement. The baby had already begun to cry weakly when her father rushed over amidst the last storm of the year. His large, rain-soaked hands tightly gripped his own weak and powerless palms, and he said he would definitely give her a home.
His words were so soft, so light, that they vanished into thin air with a gust of wind. Of all the people in the world, only she truly believed them.
But what kind of home is it when your parents, spouse, and children aren't around?
Xu Mei wasn't a woman who liked to wallow in self-pity or wallow in self-pity, but on a rainy night like this, when she was alone, the past inevitably came flooding back to her mind.
She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to pull an old notebook stuck to the bed frame. The soft cover had aged and peeled off into pieces, and the pages inside were all yellowed and curled at the edges. This notebook, which was older than her daughter, was the object that had accompanied her the longest in her life.
Turning over the two pages that had already fallen out, the first five years of her life were also turned over. That childhood period with no memory had been forgotten. Now, on the first day of her life, her best friend's older sister was surrounded by other sisters and younger sisters, her body twisting in pain. After a while, a faint cry came from her lower body. The little girls hurriedly picked up the baby boy, all somewhat excited. They smiled and took the child to show his mother, but the next second, the pale-faced mother closed her eyes forever.
This is the first person to die here.
Xu Mei had lived underground since she could remember. She didn't know if her and her sisters' skin was natural or because they never saw the light, but in any case, they were all dazzlingly white. Among all the pale-skinned girls, she stood out the most. It was this very skin that led her to meet a man when she was twelve years old.
The underground boss called him Master Cheng. He always came with Uncle Dong. The two of them were very close, with their arms around each other's shoulders. Every time they came, they would go straight to the gambling table and leave at dawn, shaking their empty money bags.
That day, he saw Xu Mei under the only white light in the dance hall, and her pale face was so bright that he was mesmerized and walked over to her.
Xu Mei flipped through some diaries whose handwriting was long since illegible, and finally came across a stack of black and white photos.
Later, someone said that everyone longed for the dance hall in Xiangtiancheng, but it was just a small place with excessive noise and no light all day long, and even the variety of drinks was limited. At that time, a dance called "Iron Cage Dance" was popular in the dance hall. People in suits would come down and dance in a huge iron cage, twisting their bodies like countless trapped beasts. Chengye told her that the outside world was developing very fast, and human sexuality and desires were suppressed by the fast pace. Emotions could not be released, but most people's ideas could not keep up with the development of society and the times, so many people under great pressure would choose to vent in this way.
The girls who were chosen to dance in the iron cage with the guests received high pay, but afterwards they were always unable to get out of bed for a long time, covered in bruises.
Xu Mei was a little scared, and she didn't really need the money. Even when it was her turn to work, she never went up. Once or twice was fine, but after a while, the boss got dissatisfied. That's when Cheng Ye stepped in to help her out. He generously slapped a stack of banknotes on the small table and pulled her to sit with him for the whole night.
After the shop owner counted the money and left, he carefully explained that she was worth far more than that price; no, she was priceless in his eyes.
Xu Mei didn't understand these things. In her life, women were clearly priced. She was happy when he said she was valuable. The girl's slender white arms wrapped around his neck. Separated by a wall, people were venting their frustrations in the iron cages outside, while inside, in the dark room, the two were having a heart-to-heart talk.
There had never been a case of hiring a dancer alone in the dance hall before. The stack of banknotes that Cheng Ye slammed on the table directly propelled Xu Mei to the top of the dance hall. In the cramped staff dormitory, she even had a single room. She used the money she saved to buy a roasted sweet potato on the ground and shared half with the little boy who grew up in the dance hall.
Chengye once gave her an old-fashioned camera and taught her how to use it. After she learned, she loved taking pictures with her friends. Many of the photos were lost in the process of being scattered, and only this one has been preserved intact.
As dawn broke, the girls, having removed their makeup after get off work, walked up the stairs in the employee passageway. With the lights off and the sunlight shining on their faces, only their innocence remained, and their eyes even held a touch of naive confusion.
Back then, dance halls were thriving. Everyone in Jingyang knew them. Many people came there simply to dance, have fun, and drink to vent their frustrations.
For some reason, these kinds of places have always been associated with a few murders throughout history. A drunkard, after drinking, took a liking to a girl at the next table and went over to chat her up. The girl's male companion, his so-called male dignity challenged, grabbed a folding chair and smashed it over the man's head, splattering brains all over the bartender who came to break up the fight... They also often saw foreign faces of all skin colors. They were more fun-loving, more generous, and more violent than the locals. After drinking, they seemed like completely different people. That day, a tall, white man, his face flushed from drinking, pulled out a revolver tucked into his waistband and shot through the chest of the man who was jeering across from him... They used to think that famous singers only performed in grand halls, but they never expected to hear live performances in underground dance halls. Two songs brought the atmosphere to a climax. The disheveled rock star pulled a bag of white powder from his pocket and sprinkled it down as a reward. The people below rushed over and all twisted into a mess. That day, four of the boss's prostitutes were killed...
The dance hall, which they hadn't taken with them, was closed due to a policy. On the day they left, Xu Mei wiped the mirror they used to fix their makeup in the lobby several times and hung it on the wall.
Xiao Lan took the small mirror off the wall and walked over to Miss Tu Mi with it.
Her interview went exceptionally smoothly. She simply showed off her slender waist and swayed twice in front of Manager Chen and was hired. As a newcomer, she was not allowed to entertain guests, so she was assigned to take care of the top hostess, Miss Tu Mi, who had recently been unwell.
Xiao Lan placed the mirror in front of her, reflecting Tu Mi's pretty but pale face. She had no expression, and her eyes were devoid of light.
The little boy who was always by her side looked like he was still a minor, maybe even a few years younger than her. His eyes were full of defensiveness when he looked at Xiaolan, like a fierce little wolf. He only put away his fangs when Tu Mi smiled at him.
Xiao Lan carefully smoothed her hair, her movements extremely gentle, but still quite a few strands came off. She rolled two strands and hid them in her palm, then glanced at her waist, her expression somewhat strange.
Qi Yu hadn't come back for two days in a row, he had been busy. Qi Shuyao was unhappy for a long time, but this made her meeting with Pei Youwen much easier. As soon as school was over on Thursday, she carried her drawing board and ran to the coffee shop. Pei Youwen, who was already waiting there, had the same polite smile on his face as on the day of the funeral.
The two tacitly started talking about painting. Qi Shuyao was still thinking about how to bring it up when Pei Youwen sighed first.
"What's wrong?"
She could see the worry in his eyes, so she followed up with her question.
But he seemed to have a hard time speaking.
"Actually, I'm a little embarrassed to say it out loud, but I really can't understand how a young girl could be willing to be with a man so much older than herself."
Qi Shuyao suddenly looked up, moved her chair back a step, and her eyes instantly filled with wariness as she looked at him.
Although Pei Youwen was puzzled, he felt it was inappropriate after he finished speaking. He hesitated for a while, then gulped down half a cup of coffee and decided to tell her everything.
“I never imagined that with my father dead, an unborn sister could suddenly appear.”
A strange look appeared in Qi Shuyao's eyes.
He told her with a wry smile about his father's posthumous child. The Pei family had been in chaos these past two days. Despite their fierce appearances, the Pei family gang of burly men were completely helpless against the crying pregnant woman. Madam Pei was now truly ill from anger, and the only person left in the family to deal with her was the old housekeeper who had never married.
“What’s so hard to understand? What your father could give her, she wouldn’t have gotten even if she lived to be 70 or 700. But now she’s just taken off her clothes and got it at the age of 27.”
“But my father didn’t leave any inheritance to her.”
"Because money is for women to see, not for women to spend; that's what men all think."
This time, it was Pei Youwen who glanced at her sideways, while Qi Shuyao waved her hand indifferently. She and Qi Yu often attended various banquets, dinners, and private meetings between leaders, so she was used to such things. She had even reflected on whether her thinking had been brainwashed by them, but her thoughts alone could not change the whole society.
"It's not that I objectify women or look down on my fellow countrymen. It's just that I feel that people who can be with this kind of man don't respect themselves at all. But how should I put it, it's a kind of equality. It's just that they gave up some things for the wealth and glory that they couldn't get under normal circumstances. Men might be taken advantage of, but they will never suffer a loss."
She became more and more excited as she spoke, even adopting a relaxed sitting posture like she would at home. When her eyes met Pei Youwen's surprised gaze, she abruptly looked away, her smile turning slightly awkward.
"I was just chatting casually, don't take it to heart."
"It's okay, I know, I just never thought something like this would happen to me."
She looked at him, her mind filled with the gossip Cen Xueying had told her. She was increasingly convinced it was true; Pei Yuzhou was quite something. Even when he was sick in the hospital and couldn't get up, he still managed to have a child.
"This is not something you can control."
She dared not speak carelessly, fearing that her words would bring trouble. She lowered her head, staring at the easel, and began to speak.
"By the way, do you remember which painting of mine you bought? I was organizing my art album yesterday and I can't quite remember."
After Qi Shuyao finished speaking, she secretly stuck out her tongue. The topic transition was too abrupt and illogical.
"I remember it was 'Xiaochun' three years ago and 'Hantian' before that."
"Oh, okay."
An eerily quiet fell over the room. The driver outside the window gestured for her to go back. She touched the edge of her easel, about to speak, when Pei Youwen once again spoke first.
"Secretary Qi's birthday is coming up soon. Would you like a birthday portrait? What do you think of my drawing skills?"
This time, she couldn't hide the astonishment on her face.
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