0036 036 Sky, wind, and sun
Qi Shuyao sat on the toilet, lifting her right leg, which had been curled up for too long, to stretch it. After she had emptied her semen, thick liquid was still dripping down her lower body.
Her lower back ached and swelled up. She had been going at it wildly for most of the early morning, and her inner thighs were already numb from all the pounding. Her period had come a few days early to join the fun. She was still clutching the underwear she had pulled off Qi Yu's body, which was also stained red with her blood.
After rinsing off the stickiness, she put on a sanitary napkin and abandoned washing her underwear, throwing it directly into the trash can. When she opened her palm, a dried spot of blood on her palm caught her eye.
How could her blood splatter so far, how could it hit her palm so accurately? Did she have something she wanted to say to me?
Qi Shuyao leaned against the door, staring blankly at her palms. She didn't hear the anxious, chaotic footsteps outside the door. Suddenly, she flung open the bathroom door and fell backward without warning.
She stumbled into a still-warm embrace, but was immediately pulled back, her arm wrapped around her bare upper body and pressed against her chest.
Instead of being led away by him, she slipped out of his arms. The moment their bodies separated, her arm was grabbed again. Looking back, Qi Yu's expression even carried a hint of grievance.
Where are you going?
"I'm not going anywhere, this position is too uncomfortable."
Qi Shuyao stood in the cold light of the bathroom, her skin dazzlingly bright. She wasn't wearing any clothes on her upper body, but her long, smooth hair fell down, covering her chest. She was wearing an extra-long sanitary napkin, making her little bottom look round and plump.
Holding her in his arms did nothing to ease Qi Yu's heart, which had plummeted from mid-air. He pulled Qi Shuyao out, lifted her up by the waist, placed his hand on her lower back, and lay her down on the other side of the bed where it wasn't wet, wrapping them both tightly in the blanket.
He embraced her from behind, the girl's legs were sandwiched between his legs, an arm was across his waist, and his other hand held her wrist tightly.
Her hand, which was being held, remained clenched into a fist. A finger, Qi Yu's, slipped in, and he felt a different sensation. He gently pried open the delicate finger.
"What happened? Are you hurt?"
He sat up abruptly, pulled her onto his lap, and Qi Shuyao finally turned her face, revealing her slightly reddened eyes.
"Dad, what's that little girl's name?"
Qi Yuxin understood, but he still broke out in a cold sweat. He adjusted his position, leaned his back against the headboard, wrapped her upper body in the blanket, and gently swayed his legs, just like he used to coax her when she was a child.
"It doesn't have a name yet; we haven't had time to choose one."
"So how did you and her mother meet?"
We met at work.
"Do you think that little boy who rushed out likes her?"
It's not love, it's just a kind of dependence.
"What's the meaning?"
"No, he's too young. He doesn't understand these things. It's a kind of instinct, like that between family members."
"If I jumped off the building, would you come and hug me?"
"You dare."
"I don't dare. I think she's very brave."
Qi Shuyao turned over in his arms and looked out the window. Qi Yu's bedroom window faced the hillside. The leaves outside the window had long since fallen, and only two small birds were hopping around on the bare branches.
Qi Yu lowered his head, his face close to hers, and whispered,
"Look, even on a cold day, there are early birds chirping outside. In a little while, the sun will be fully up, shining warmly on you. All the little animals will wake up and circle around you. They will spend a very long day with you... And me, when I see you, I feel happy."
What left him most helpless during Qi Shuyao's upbringing was her undisguised and crazy self-destructive tendencies.
Honestly, he didn't seem to offer her any useful emotional support. She would always feel down on her own, then find something new to do and smile happily at him again.
For so many years, he always took her with him wherever he went, but he really only took her with him. She never asked what he was doing, and he never interfered with what she had been up to lately. Sometimes she would cast curious glances at him, but she would never ask anything. He didn't want her to be exposed to these dirty things, yet he also wanted to lay bare his entire being before her.
Now all he can do is hold her and seek physical pleasure.
Qi Shuyao's physical and mental condition was not good, so Qi Yu asked her to take more than ten days off. On the last day of her leave, she secretly went to the Jingyang branch of Mingren Hospital. Tu Mi was recuperating in the VIP private ward on the top floor.
She didn't die, but she broke her left leg and miscarried. Despite the double blow to her body and mind, the little girl looked much more energetic than Qi Shuyao. She didn't see Pei Youwen or recognize Xu Mei. There were two caregivers in the ward taking care of her. When they saw Qi Shuyao come in, they left the ward temporarily.
She brought a lot of food and supplies, which Xiaolan bought with her. Over the past few days, Xiaolan had given her a complete account of the underground dance hall's environment, which made her heart ache.
It turns out that life really does exist in dark corners, and dazzling white flowers can grow even underground where there is no light.
Tu Mi was overjoyed to see her. They had only met once, yet they had imprinted each other in their hearts.
Qi Shuyao sat quietly on the edge of the bed, her hair hanging down to cover her pale face. A small hand, equally pale and grayish, reached out and brushed her hair away. Tu Mi seemed to be staring at her older sister's face with great curiosity, unable to get enough of looking at her.
You are so beautiful.
"You are more beautiful."
"No, I think you're prettier. When I was underground, I had nothing to do during the day but look at myself in the mirror and play around. I don't think I'm pretty at all."
Qi Shuyao looked at the girl's almost perfect profile, her gaze traveling from her curled eyelashes and delicate upturned nose down to her soft, pouty lips. Just looking at her, her heart was captivated. She didn't look like Xu Mei, at least not in terms of temperament.
"Does it hurt?"
"You mean here? Or here?"
She pointed to her stomach, then to her legs.
"here."
Qi Shuyao reached out and gently touched the girl's chest. Even though the girl was covered with a thick blanket, she could feel the girl's protruding sternum. She was too thin, like a leaf that would be blown away by the wind.
"It doesn't hurt. Nothing here has ever been touched. You know, when I first heard those things, I was shocked. I ran out without thinking. When I saw the sky and the wind, I calmed down. After that, if anyone had taken me back, I definitely wouldn't have resisted. But no one came over, so I just kept waiting and waiting. When I saw you, I felt like a fairy had appeared in front of me. I really wanted to touch you, so I reached out my hand. But you didn't look at me. I got anxious and fell down."
She spoke as if she were telling someone else's story, her tone even carrying a longing. She looked at Qi Shuyao with exceptionally pure eyes.
"Because of me? I'm sorry."
Tu Mi smiled.
"What does it have to do with you? After all, you don't even know me. This is just my own thought. I was so naive. But it's fine this way. I'm fine on my own."
"You and Pei Youwen..."
"There's nothing between him and me, we're just a lady and a customer."
Tu Mi raised the hospital bed herself and leaned against it while talking to her. Sunlight streamed in from the two windows behind her, making her look like a fairy from below, even blurring her edges.
"I like sunshine, but it's too dazzling. It took me several days to get used to it and I can barely open my eyes now. I also like the wind. It feels so good to be blown on my body, and it doesn't have any smell."
The air quality in Jingyang is not good every winter, and many people wear masks when they go out. But Tu Mi often takes deep breaths. For the first time in her life, she breathes air that is not mixed with smoke, alcohol and body odor, and she feels purified.
Seeing her smiling face, Qi Shuyao felt there was no need to dwell on the past, so she continued speaking.
"And rainy days, snowy days, windy days, sandstorm days. I really like rainy days. The sound of raindrops hitting the glass is very relaxing. Or when you walk outside with an umbrella, there is a cool breeze on your body. It's best to wear shorts in this kind of weather, otherwise the rain hitting your long pants will make your legs feel very uncomfortable."
What is rain?
"It's like water, but it's falling from the sky. Light rain is annoying, but moderate rain has the same effect as before. Heavy rain is not so good; it will hit you so hard that you can't hold your umbrella. However, in this kind of weather, it's best to close the windows tightly, then wrap yourself in a blanket on the small bed next to the bed and look out the window. It's especially relaxing."
Tu Mi couldn't understand most of the words Qi Shuyao spoke, but she still listened to her with a smile. She liked this world she had never been to before, but she didn't know if the world could accept her.
So this is what liking someone is. Pei Youwen had told her he liked her many times, saying he wouldn't be afraid no matter what she became. But on the day she jumped off the rooftop, he backed away and avoided her.
That day, Qi Shuyao leaned over the hospital bed and told her many interesting things about life. She couldn't really distinguish which words she had never encountered or heard of before. She talked and stopped, clumsily explaining some things, which made the pale little girl blush with laughter. She tried to extend a finger and hook it with Qi Shuyao's little finger that she was gesturing in the air.
"What should I call you?"
"Um... how old are you?"
"How big? I don't know."
That indescribable feeling of helplessness and sorrow welled up again, but Qi Shuyao quickly suppressed it, smiling as she hooked her arm around Tu Mi's.
"I think you're younger than me, so just call me older sister. My name is Qi Shuyao."
"No, I think you're my friend. I have many older sisters down there. I don't want you to be my older sister. How about I call you Yao Yao?"
"good……"
"Yaoyao, may you be happy and joyful for the rest of your life."
She smiled and waved her arms, offering the most beautiful blessings she knew. Qi Shuyao couldn't hold back any longer; she threw herself beside the little girl and wept bitterly. Then she got up and taught her again.
"Everyone counts the days like this: when you can see the sun, it's called daytime, and people start working. When the sun sets, it's nighttime, and people go home after get off work. A day and a night together make up a whole day."
"I understand now. When I'm at the dance hall, the daytime starts when customers start arriving, and it's dark and time to go home when all the customers leave, right?"
"No, no, dance halls are for working people to relax after get off work. They have to work during the day, which is your time to rest. They only go to dance halls at night after they finish get off work."
Tu Mi listened in a daze, not really understanding what Qi Shuyao had said. She was just repeating Qi Shuyao's words in her mind over and over again, her eyes shining.
It was already quite late, and it was time to change Tu Mi's dressing. The caregiver came in to help her up. Qi Shuyao, who had been talking all afternoon, started to feel her stomach growling as soon as she stood up. Tu Mi reached out and rubbed her stomach.
"Let's go eat."
"I'll come see you when I have time."
"good."
Qi Shuyao walked out of the hospital, her steps much more cheerful than when she arrived. As she stepped out the door, Qi Yu was standing outside watching her. He opened his arms to her, the sunset glow falling on his shoulders. The hem of his coat was pulled open, revealing the soft sweater she had chosen for him that morning, which looked warm and comfortable.
"Yaoyao, come here."
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