Bright eyes
Jiang Yilin was still comforting her before he fainted.
"Don't cry, I'm here, Jiang Yilin is still here."
Xiao Jin Xilu wiped away her tears, pushed open the door, and walked outside.
She couldn't wait any longer. These days, she would take advantage of Jiang Yilin being asleep at home to go out and find her way.
On the first day, she familiarized herself with the narrow paths of the village. Further on were the unclaimed, dirty wells, and even further still, the jujube trees behind the earthen slope. Finally, one day, she would take Jiang Yilin away from this place.
Time is of the essence. She needs to find a doctor for Jiang Yilin. If it doesn't work the first time, she'll try again. If it doesn't work in one day, she'll search for a way every day. If there's no doctor on this mountain, she'll climb over to the next one. There will always be a chance.
The country roads are always winding and twisting. Rolling stones have been rolling here since who knows when. Big stones break into small stones, small stones break into gravel, and finally turn into the dust that blows up on this country road.
Xiao Jinxi walked outside, her strength to even sigh turning to dust. She told herself that sighing was useless.
Xiao Jinxilu had no choice but to walk outside again and again.
She didn't want to wait for the dust to extinguish her; instead, she wanted to step on the dust herself.
She's dreamt of soaring through the air, laughed at foolish things that made her tears soak the walls, and in the end, she continues to measure her steps, stepping on the shadow of the sun.
She stood on the earth, earth beneath her feet and earth in front of her, the earth behind her motionless, but when she looked up, the earth began to move.
Her eyes were the lightest and most carefree part of her body.
She saw it.
As she watched the distant mountains gradually turn green, her heart always reached the places she could see before her heavy and weary body.
She always longed for a place where she could see trees.
Keep moving forward, little by little, and keep telling yourself that it's not enough, that you haven't arrived yet.
Kim Hee-ro felt that the world was in motion, and she was growing up, and nothing could bring hope more easily than her own growth.
As a child, Kim Hee-ro was afraid of very few things, but she cared about many, many people. She often relied on this recklessness to fall down, but it was as if she was encouraged to keep moving forward.
Because she has family members she wants to protect, she always wants to grow up quickly.
Meanwhile, Kim Hee-ro, the adult who is trapped in her memories and unable to wake up, has been lost.
"Strange, I clearly remember being in the Jiang family's basement."
"Whom did I come with?"
She stood frozen in place, no longer wanting to go any further.
Surrounded by darkness, her indifferent eyes remained fixed on the ground, and her legs began to ache after only a few steps.
She had stopped long ago. She didn't think about where she was, whether there were trees, flowers, or flowing water.
Where will this lead? It seems she should have stopped a long time ago.
With that thought in mind, Kim Hee-ro stood with her arms crossed, her eyes downcast, staring at the small footprints on the ground. Then she changed her posture, rubbed her sore shoulders, and remained uninterested.
She stopped moving, and the sound of another person's footsteps became very clear.
Thump, thump—
The small flashlight shone haphazardly in the darkness, casting its light on her tiny body. She walked and stopped, seemingly trying to figure out if she had been here before.
Kim Hee-ro didn't have that much patience, and when the girl, who only reached her waist, got close, she stopped her.
"Hey, are you stupid? Haven't you walked around enough?" Kim Hee-ro crossed her arms and looked down at her fiercely, almost reaching out to pull her away.
In fact, she did just that later. She put her arm around the girl's shoulder and pushed her back, saying, "Stay away from me."
"Not enough, of course not enough, I still haven't figured out where these roads lead!" The little girl held a flashlight in her hand, not at all shy, and looked to the side as she spoke.
"I'm not talking to you anymore, I need to hurry up and continue looking for the way." The little girl seemed to have seen something again. She opened her eyes wide and laughed, her eyes shining brightly. She shook off Jin Xilu and ran away again.
Kim Hee-ro's hand, which had been flung away, froze in mid-air. She moved her fingers silently, then looked in the direction Kim Hee-ro had run off with a look of disdain.
"He's acting crazy. He has nothing to offer, so I don't know why he's being so enthusiastic."
Finally, Kim Hee-ro withdrew her hands, put them in her coat pockets, hesitated for a few seconds, looked up, but still saw nothing.
Of course, she didn't know that in the same world, the way she saw herself as a child and the way she saw herself now were different.
She didn't know how much time had passed when she heard laborious footsteps.
Before she even got close, Kim Hee-ro couldn't wait any longer. She put her hands on her hips, raised her head, and mocked her coldly and helplessly.
"Ha, I told you long ago, there's no point in you going this way."
The footsteps grew clearer, and she saw the girl again. She was still clutching a flashlight and carrying a small cloth bag on her back, but the bag was light and didn't seem to contain much.
The girl seemed to have gotten angry too. She snorted at Kim Hee-ro and rolled her eyes, then ignored her and kept her eyes on the road ahead as she continued walking.
"Hey, you little brat, I'm calling you, didn't you hear me!" Jin Xilu was furious, but she still stopped in her tracks and didn't follow her.
All that remained for Kim Hee-ro was the little girl's stubborn back view; it was empty, and she couldn't hold onto her.
After that, Kim Hee-ro didn't go anywhere. She just stayed in the same place and waited for the girl to pass by. But no matter how much Kim Hee-ro teased her, she couldn't stop the little girl who was focused on finding her way.
Finally, after being rejected for the third time, Kim Hee-ro couldn't help but follow the girl and ask her questions as they walked.
"What kind of road are you looking for? There's no road here at all. It's pitch black everywhere. Are you stupid?!"
"Then what are you doing here? Acting like an idiot." Jin Xilu's words were just as sharp.
Kim Hee-ro was a little annoyed after being scolded by a child. She tossed her hair back, determined to regain some of her dignity as an adult: "Damn it, I also want to know what I'm doing here."
But as soon as Kim Hee-ro let go, the little girl walked forward, and Kim almost lost her again.
The little girl may be small, but she has quite a temper; one of her steps is equivalent to two of Kim Hee-ro's.
"Why are you following me? I don't have time to play cat and mouse with you."
Suddenly the little girl turned around, her eyes brimming with tears, whether she was finally feeling tired or suddenly remembered something. Several new wounds appeared on her face, and her reddened eyelids contrasted sharply with her eyes.
For some reason, even though Kim Hee-ro was standing face to face with the little girl, she still felt that there was at least tens of thousands of steps between them, and she could never really touch the little girl.
Kim Hee-ro sighed inwardly. Almost the moment she saw the little girl, she thought: She's too stubborn. She'll definitely suffer when she grows up.
When she came to her senses, she found her idea absurd, as the flood of fragmented memories washed over her and the little girl.
Just then, the little girl raised her hand to wipe away her tears, her tone still somewhat ungrateful: "I'm not talking to you anymore, I'm rushing to find a doctor for Jiang Yilin. If I'm too late, he might not wake up."
After saying that, the little girl pursed her lips, turned away with a hint of reluctance, leaving only the small back view of Kim Hee-ro.
Her shadow was trampled underfoot by Kim Hee-ro, but Kim Hee-ro was very excited. She repeated her words in her mind and took a step to chase after her with trembling disbelief.
"Who are you?"
Kim Hee-ro reached out her hand, and their relationship instantly reversed. Kim Hee-ro seemed to transform back into the little girl who longed for an adult to guide her when she was a child.
The little girl turned around in fright, and she stretched out her arms as if to respond to Kim Hee-ro.
But she was still just one step away. Kim Hee-ro's fingers touched her hair, then grasped at empty air, and the little girl disappeared.
"I am Kim Hee-ro." The little girl's innocent yet forcedly calm voice lingered in her ears.
Kim Hee-ro burst into tears again, crying very sadly, because she remembered.
That time she went out, her mind was as pure as a kite that was only tethered to a string and couldn't wait to fly away.
The harder she struggled, the more she wanted to break free of this place, until finally the thread in her heart snapped with a "crack," and she fell off the cliff.
I doubt myself. Every single thing I've done over the years, every single thought I've had, is utterly foolish and ridiculous. I've only ever dragged others down. No wonder I've been abandoned.
In her memory, she met a thin man when she went out. He said he was a village doctor who knew some traditional Chinese medicine theory and herbs. Jin Xilu happily took his basket and led him home.
But the young girl grasped at a straw and placed her hopes on the thin man. In the end, she didn't know what the man fed Jiang Yilin, but after waking up for a while, Jiang Yilin seemed to be in much better spirits.
Jin Xilu was relieved. After thanking the man, she fell into a deep sleep, thinking that she had walked too much today. When she woke up, she found herself locked in a room again.
All around was quiet, except for countless insects of all kinds—some glowing, some screaming, and some deformed. In short, the sounds of insects never left her mind.
Kim Hee-ro slumped to the ground, staring at each other in disbelief. Darkness enveloped them both, and Kim Hee-ro was certain she couldn't see herself.
“No, this isn’t right? I’m not here, I shouldn’t be lying here.”
Kim Hee-ro clearly remembered being taken out by a strange man from the mountains. According to his original plan, he wanted a girl to be sacrificed to the mountain god. He would lock her up for two or three days to make sure she was starving and had no trace of dirt before she could be sacrificed.
She shouldn't be lying here. She clearly remembers being found by Jiang Yilin and her grandmother two days later under a tree, not in this dilapidated house.
"How strange." Kim Hee-ro remained silent in the darkness for a long time. Had her memories deceived her?
Kim Hee-ro quickly found the answer.
When Xiao Jinxi woke up, her brown hair was squeezed between the wall and her face, brushing against her nose as she yawned. She opened her eyes and looked around, her eyes still bright.
Afterwards, Kim Hee-ro, who was originally facing little Kim Hee-ro, slumped on the ground and looked up at little Kim Hee-ro's stumbling and crashing departure through the window.
“She’s gone, how could she leave again…” Kim Hee-ro sighed, finally remembering her true memories.
It turns out that the only person who ever saved her was herself.
Little Jin Xilu, carrying her injured body, limped as far as she could.
Kim Hee-ro finally realized that the one who had trapped her was none other than someone else.
The only one who can save her from this memory trap is none other than herself.
It can only be Kim Hee-ro.
She is not a burden, not a waste, not a child no one loves.
There's no need to constantly doubt yourself until you become increasingly silent and lonely.
Kim Hee-ro chased after her younger self, taking bigger and bigger steps and running faster and faster. The wind tousled her hair, obscuring her eyes, which she quickly brushed aside.
Her eyes can see much farther.
The air began to flow again.
A voice cried out, "Fire!"
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