Chapter 20
When Chen Luo arrived on her electric scooter with a beaming smile, Gu Mengzhu was sitting at the shop entrance trimming excess green leaves from the tangerines. These past few days had finally brought the chill of winter, and the scattered raindrops floating in the air made people shiver. She would stop every now and then, tucking her hands into her pockets to warm them, and look up whenever someone came by.
Chen Luo, carrying a bag of roasted chestnuts, said goodbye. After the car drove away, she grabbed a handful from the bag and called for Gu Mengzhu to hold out her hand. Gu Mengzhu obediently did so, and the next second her palm was pressed against the warmth of the chestnuts. The chestnut meat was fragrant and sweet. After eating for a while, she recalled the clingy way the two of them had parted, and so she asked the question that had been weighing on her mind for so long:
"Sister Luo, there's something I want to ask you."
"What? Ask away."
How did you and Brother Sheng meet?
The chestnut made a crisp "crunch" sound. Chen Luo peeled off the brown membrane, popped it into his mouth, and chewed it a couple of times.
"Want to know?"
Yes!
Knowing she was playing hard to get, Gu Mengzhu wisely adopted a look of intense curiosity. Chen Luo patted her thigh and slowly looked up, recalling the events:
"That day I was shopping at the mall. You know, I love going to malls to look at pretty bags, shoes, and clothes. As I was walking, I noticed a guy in front of me looking back every now and then. I figured there was someone behind me, so I just went for it."
She shrugged, as if recreating a scene.
"Anyway, I'm not that narcissistic. I've never received a love letter since I was a child, so why would anyone specifically look at me? So I'll just keep walking."
"Who knew that when I was taking the escalator downstairs, that jerk, I was standing perfectly fine, and he just had to walk down and bump into me, and he even deliberately looked back at me at the escalator stop! I was so angry at that moment, you're just a bunch of good-for-nothings (swear word), are you so blind you can't see where you're going? But he's tall and strong, I can't beat him, so I just let him go."
Gu Mengzhu laughed so hard her shoulders trembled.
“But then,” she said, waving her index finger twice, “after I got off the escalator, he kept turning back to look at me, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I shouted loudly.”
"Hey, smart kid, what are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a pretty girl before?"
Gu Mengzhu burst out laughing, almost choking.
"As expected of you."
Chen Luo waved his hand at the extremely forceful thumbs-up in the air:
"Then he smiled at me and replied, 'Yes, I've never seen him before.' Ah, you can't even imagine how happy I was at that moment."
She covered her mouth with both hands, laughing so hard she leaned back. "You know what? He just stared straight into my eyes and said I was pretty."
"You demon, I can't bear to look."
"Hey, you're the one who told me to say it, it's none of my business."
Chen Luo took a couple of smug bites of chestnut and gloated at her. Gu Mengzhu glared at her and gritted her teeth in resentment.
"And then? I never expected that Brother Sheng, who is tall and strong, would chase people so fiercely that he's like a freak."
"After that? Of course, he treated me to dinner as an apology. As for me, I took the opportunity to tell him that pursuing girls like that is wrong, it's perverted."
She nudged her with her elbow, "Hey, let's talk about something serious."
"Here we go again. When do you stop talking about serious things?"
"Is your brother who's in jail still at your house? How long are you going to support him?"
Gu Mengzhu was speechless. This person was giving people nicknames again.
"Ignore him! Isn't that enough? Does he want to lose your entire fortune?"
What are you talking about?
She tossed her a chestnut shell, then hugged her knees, buried her head in them, and murmured:
"I didn't have any hope for him."
"Miss, you'd better keep your word."
Chen Luo rubbed her shoulders to comfort her, then stood up, stretched, and went to get her apron to get to work. Gu Mengzhu looked up at the misty sky, her eyes unmoving, lost in thought.
It was almost time to leave work, so she folded up her apron and put it in the closet. Just as she was about to grab her bag and leave, she received a call from Qi Yaoguang.
"Do me a favor, how about we come to the amusement park? I'll give you the address."
"What kind of help?"
"You'll see when you get there. Please come on, I'm begging you."
Gu Mengzhu's mood, like the sky, was visibly unhappy. She had tried hard to avoid contact with him, but reality often contradicted her wishes. He always found a reason or excuse to cling to her, and she couldn't bring herself to be ruthless, always indulging him without any real change. She looked down at her arm; it was smooth and bare, yet she felt a leech clinging to it. The leech was relentlessly sucking her blood, but she was numb and had lost all feeling. Or perhaps she knew it, but she was simply waiting for that arm to be drained dry so she could finally cut it off cleanly.
Arriving at the destination and finding no one there, Gu Mengzhu stood outside with her arms crossed. The evening rush hour was always crowded, and as she waited, she unconsciously moved to another spot, standing in the shade of a tree and watching the passing crowds. She stared blankly, expressionless like a stone lion, while countless people flowed past her like water, leaving not even a ripple. It seemed as if her soul had been ripped away; she suddenly felt incredibly small, and a sense of disgust began to rise within her.
"Lift the table up! Lift it properly! Come on! How can you be so stupid!"
A woman was carrying a table, yelling at her child for his incorrect posture. The little boy, who looked only three or four years old, was unusually quiet, not daring to utter a word in response to his mother's anger, and silently adjusting his posture with his head down.
Was he crying?
Gu Mengzhu asked herself this question. She couldn't see the boy's expression, but she felt sorry for him. A dense, throbbing pain gradually rose in her chest, and she couldn't help but think of that woman's kindness. She had never been publicly scolded like this by her mother before, and in those days, she had also been briefly loved. But what's the point of love if it's a conclusion drawn through comparison? Moreover, the love she easily gained because of blood ties had now been ruthlessly taken away. Upon closer examination, she always lived in such contradictions, filled with nostalgia, guilt, and yet hatred.
fine.
She thought for a moment, then turned and walked away. She selfishly refused to speak up for him, selfishly ignored him, selfishly cowering in the shell of a child, coldly observing from the sidelines. She didn't know how long she had walked; she had even forgotten why she had come there. The streetlights overhead were very bright; looking up, she saw many glowing circles before her eyes, surrounded by bottomless darkness, making her dizzy.
"Hello!"
In a split second, someone grabbed her arm, like a pebble shattering glass on all sides, startling her from her reverie. She stared blankly at the burning hand, then looked up.
"I've found you."
He was so smug, his smile so wide it revealed his teeth. Gu Mengzhu forgot to react, just staring until he took her hand and pulled her along. She struggled a little but couldn't break free, so she could only let him do as he pleased.
"What are you going to do?"
He turned around and smiled at her, like a cunning lacewing, its emerald wings fluttering on the delicate blades of grass, gently stirring her fragile heart.
You'll find out soon enough.
Qi Yaoguang led her to the entrance of the amusement park, where a couple was waiting. The man, somewhat impatient, held up a cotton candy and shouted at him:
"I only agreed to help me with my shifts because you said you'd cover for me, why is it taking so long?"
"I'm so sorry."
The man glanced at Gu Mengzhu, swiped his card to open the gate, and gestured with his chin towards her:
"Go in."
She was somewhat stunned and confused.
"What, you're not playing anymore?"
"No, no," Qi Yaoguang gently pushed her inside, handed her a steamed bun and soy milk, and then waved to her, "Have fun, it's free."
The couple followed her in, handed her a pass, and then walked away to another area. She stood in the amusement park, looking at him standing outside the gate, unable to utter a word. When he gestured for her to hurry up and smiled ingratiatingly, she abruptly turned away, avoiding his annoying smile.
She hated that throbbing, rekindled affection, which, like lukewarm water, numbed the nerves in her feet. She'd rather remain an ugly toad forever, so that when the swan, with its broken wings, was forced to perch beside her, she would know the cruelty of reality and never dream. Now she was dreaming again; she would never learn her lesson, even though she had learned to hide her blushing, she couldn't conceal her self-delusional heart. Gu Mengzhu clenched her fists, her nails digging painfully into her flesh.
She truly hated herself for constantly being delusional about love.
But for the first time, the amusement park, which had always been closed to her, opened its doors to her, and her heart walked in uncontrollably, onto the carousel, onto the pirate ship, onto the roller coaster, and onto the side of the person who had made the mistake.
Some people are destined to repeat the same mistakes, and she was unfortunately one of them.
Gu Mengzhu sighed, her mood a mixture of sadness and joy, like a hot pot on a stove, half boiling and half calm.
Qi Yaoguang texted her while she was boating. She ate steamed buns to fill her stomach, wondering what he was up to now. But in the pitch-black darkness, amidst the flickering LED lights on the canal, a faint sense of anticipation rose within her.
"What's wrong now?"
She went to the Ferris wheel gate as instructed and saw him busily checking tickets, with not a single hand idle.
If you're so busy, why send her a text message?
He didn't even look up, just told her to hurry up and line up.
What on earth is this guy up to?
Although she was annoyed, she still obediently did as she was told. When it was finally her turn, Qi Yaoguang winked at her and handed her two snowflake pastries.
"I don't like eating food given to me by others. When you get on the Ferris wheel later, remember to look out the window, remember to look."
"What's so mysterious about it?"
She held two pieces of candy in her hand, muttering to herself, but her heart was filled with a bittersweet feeling. It wasn't a holiday, and it was already quite late; when it was her turn, there weren't many people behind her, but surely no one would be coming up? Gu Mengzhu turned around in confusion, only to see Qi Yaoguang with his back to her, blocking several tourists who were about to come up with him, and speaking earnestly to them.
"Oh, are you asking your friend for forgiveness?"
The girls were moved by him and agreed to wait for the next carriage. They would glance at his face from time to time, then huddle together, chattering and laughing at each other, while her face grew hotter and redder.
As the train carriage slowly rose, Gu Mengzhu looked down at the shrinking figures, tearing open a candy and chewing on it. The night view outside the window was half black and half bright, the blazing lights like mountain fireflies, a mesmerizing green. Her eyes gradually reddened, tears slowly welling up. Between sobs, her mind became somewhat muddled by this small act of kindness. She exhaled a long breath, unsure whether it was stubbornness or relief, the stubborn imprint of her childhood seemed to fade away with the Ferris wheel's ascent, like mountains in the dark night.
"Bang!"
A firework exploded in the night sky, followed by a series of crackling sounds. The firework's tail flames burst into a dazzling display of stars before rapidly plummeting downwards. Gu Mengzhu was startled by the loud noise, quickly wiping away her tears and looking out the window.
He told her to look outside.
She had never seen fireworks so close before; beneath the dazzling sparks lay a sensory thrill that teemed with both danger and safety. The empty carriage even gave those inside the train the illusion that the fireworks blooming outside the window were solely hers. Gu Mengzhu had to admit that, whether as a friend or for any other reason, she liked this favoritism, she liked it very much.
"Hey beautiful, are you having fun?"
Qi Yaoguang didn't expect her to be waiting at the door. He thought she had already gone home, and without thinking, he blurted out a sarcastic remark.
"It's alright, but why at night? You can't see anything at night."
Gu Mengzhu rubbed her hands together and exhaled a puff of white breath.
"Isn't it good? Isn't the amusement park fun at night?"
"No, it's fine."
He walked over to her with his hands in his pockets, stumbling along, then wrapped his arms around her and bumped her shoulder.
"I heard someone's getting married and they're planning to set off fireworks tonight. I think you'll be able to see them when you ride the Ferris wheel." He paused for a moment, then turned and asked, "Are the fireworks beautiful?"
Gu Mengzhu nodded. "It's alright."
"You know, this amusement park is having a fireworks display at the end of the month, it's going to be absolutely stunning. I was planning to bring you there that day, but that jerk Liqiang said, 'You think this is a movie shoot? Riding the Ferris wheel all by yourself? Are you crazy?' On holidays with fireworks, you're the only one who'd do that for you."
"So I waited and waited, calculated and calculated again, and the fortune teller finally foresaw this day, and gave you a fireworks display. Hey, am I not amazing?"
Wow, that's amazing!
He paused, then immediately turned to look into her eyes. Seeing that she was still smiling and hadn't turned cold, Qi Yaoguang knew that this man's tightly closed heart had softened. Gu Mengzhu rubbed her cheeks, looked at the noisy traffic and crowds in the distance, took a deep breath of cold air to clear her chest, and finally spoke:
"Let me tell you something. Do you know why I have a special fondness for Ferris wheels?"
He silently shook his head. She didn't look at him, and continued speaking to herself:
"When I was in elementary school, I got a perfect score on a test. My dad said he'd take me to ride the Ferris wheel when he wasn't so busy, as a reward. So I waited and waited, from summer to winter, from this year to next, but nothing came of it. I always hoped that when the next holiday came, he would take me to the amusement park to fulfill his promise. But he forgot, and I never mentioned it, because I was too afraid; I couldn't afford to gamble."
"Many times, repeating yourself only makes you feel awkward. If you have expectations, you will be disappointed, so I choose to stop expecting. Just live like this, that's enough. Nobody knows why a child would understand these things. It shouldn't have happened, but there was nothing I could do. At that age, I just understood."
"There's no need to apologize or say anything to comfort me. I just felt it was good to say it, so I did."
The two stood quietly at the intersection, waiting for the light to turn green. A light drizzle began to fall, and the cold wind chilled their faces. Gu Mengzhu rubbed her eyes, while he stared intently into hers.
"Hey, are you cold? I'll take off my shirt and share it with you." (Are you cold? Shirt - clothes)
"No need." She patted her chest, the thick clothes making a dull thud, which made him look embarrassed. "I'm dressed quite warmly, thanks to the weather forecast this morning."
Qi Yaoguang let out a dramatic sigh:
"Wow, that's true. You can't even be a hero and save the damsel in distress."
"Thank you, but I'm not a sweet potato, I know how to put on more clothes myself."
She had barely finished speaking when she was nudged twice on the shoulder.
"Oh, then lend me a coat, it's so cold."
Gu Mengzhu chuckled, then simply lowered her head and walked away, ignoring his comment.
"Hey, can I borrow this? Hey..."
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