Chapter 6
"Hey washing machine, you're just spinning water, can you stop making it sound like World War II?"
Around midnight, Gu Mengzhu stood in front of the bathroom laundry room, her hands clasped together, bowing her head in deep prayer.
"Please, please behave yourself, okay?"
Qi Yaoguang walked in carrying her newly bought toothbrush, squeezing toothpaste as she went.
"Hey, what's wrong with you again? The whole living room can hear you."
"It's not me who's going crazy, it's that washing machine that's going crazy."
She gently patted the vibrating machine twice, then stepped aside to make room for it.
"Everything's fine normally, but today it's incredibly noisy. I'm afraid the people downstairs will come up and complain!"
"The washing machine is old, that's all." He tilted his head, glanced at it twice, then turned back. "Just get a new one!"
“This washing machine belongs to the landlord, not me. Besides, I don’t have the money to replace it.”
"Hey—" Qi Yaoguang held the toothbrush in front of her, "I don't know how to fix these broken machines either. If you don't have money, just bear with it."
She gritted her teeth and forced back what she wanted to say.
In the middle of the night, Gu Mengzhu was about to brush her teeth and go to bed. Just as she tiptoed through the living room, the light suddenly turned on, startling her so much that she jumped.
"No way, it's 1:42 already! Still working? Do you even need to get some sleep?! Are these construction workers crazy? Working until the middle of the night, they're a bunch of idiots!"
Qi Yaoguang irritably ruffled his already short hair, making it messy. Gu Mengzhu patted her chest and breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank goodness, they weren't insulting me.
"What do you think people are thinking, spending three or five dollars to cover things up? The worst ones are the bosses and those leaders who approve of it. Do you think this country has labor laws? It's just for show, to make others think we're in line with international standards."
Hearing her speak, he turned around with his hands on his hips and glared at her:
"Hey, I've put up with them for so long! These guys are always causing trouble, it's been almost a month and a half since I moved in! Are they even human? They don't sleep themselves and they won't let anyone else sleep either!"
"Alright, alright, don't get so angry. I'll buy you earplugs tomorrow so you can get a good night's sleep, okay?"
Gu Mengzhu smiled ingratiatingly, lowering her voice little by little, afraid of disturbing the downstairs neighbors. Qi Yaoguang frowned and replied:
"I'm not used to wearing earplugs. They're uncomfortable, they feel blocked and itchy."
"So what do you want to do? Take a knife and slash at it?"
"Just plant a bomb! It's easy, there are tutorials online. Get twenty or thirty, and they'll still be dead!"
"Hey! If you're really going to cause trouble, move out right now! You haven't been able to find a job in ages, and now you want to rebel like terrorists!"
Her voice suddenly rose in pitch, and he immediately covered his ears because he found it too noisy.
"It was just a joke, why get so worked up? I don't want to be a government employee at such a young age and make a fool of myself."
Gu Mengzhu waited a few seconds, and only after confirming that no one was shouting insults did she whisper:
"You know that's good enough! Go back to bed and sleep, if you can't sleep, so be it!"
The next day, around nine o'clock, she placed the fried eggs on the coffee table and couldn't help but smile at Qi Yaoguang.
"Hey, what are you laughing at so early in the morning?"
"Look at this egg yolk, isn't it smaller than your dark circles?"
She was laughing so hard her tears were almost streaming down her face, but he ignored her and picked up a fork to start poking at the egg. Gu Mengzhu went back to the kitchen and came out with a plate of luncheon meat.
"I'm telling you, it's because you're so fair-skinned that your dark circles are so noticeable."
He swallowed the egg in his mouth, and immediately launched a counterattack:
"Otherwise, if someone as dark-skinned as you jumps into the pool and swims out, wouldn't people think you're a water ghost coming out to harm people?"
Gu Mengzhu's eyes widened, and she almost choked on her mouthful of soy milk.
This dog looks like a human, so why can't it speak properly?
She put down the soy milk, smiled, and leaned closer:
"Hey, you've suddenly become so well-behaved. You've worked hard for two weeks now, so I'm going to reward you."
Qi Yaoguang spat out the luncheon meat in his mouth and stared at her as if he had seen a ghost.
Are you dreaming in broad daylight?
"A boss should know how to reward and punish fairly. What would you like to eat? It's on me."
"Great!" he laughed, his eyes narrowing into two crescent moons. "Let's have roast goose thigh! Crispy skin, fragrant meat, and a big one."
Gu Mengzhu's eyes darted around, and she slowly straightened her posture.
"I originally wanted to say Lion Head Goose, but I know you're poor, so I'll lower my standards and goose thigh will do."
He looked at her with amusement, his eyes holding a half-smile.
"It's too expensive, let's get a different one. A decent leg could feed us for several days."
"Hey!" Qi Yaoguang forked a piece of luncheon meat and waved it in front of her. "If you're so stingy, don't talk big!"
"Then I won't make any more promises, I won't invite you."
"Tch, I knew this would happen."
He shook his head, put the luncheon meat in his mouth, and mumbled indistinctly:
"I never expected anything from you."
Gu Mengzhu fell completely silent and ate her breakfast on the floor like a quail.
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