Chapter 37 Training Money is the Courage of Heroes
Leaving that tenement building filled with the smell of alcohol, the outdoor air, even though it was mixed with the dust and dampness of the old city, felt much fresher.
Chu Yanxi and Lu Zhe walked side by side in the dimly lit alley, their footsteps echoing in the silence. The scattered streetlights in the distance cast their shadows, making them appear longer and shorter.
The two remained silent for a long time. The oppressive feeling from the conflict, the heartache of witnessing the quiet cowardice and sorrow, and the deeper, heavy thoughts about how to break this cycle of despair all weighed heavily on their hearts.
The night breeze was cool, carrying the unique moist scent of the river, and brushed against my face.
Chu Yanxi tightened her thin clothes, her gaze sweeping over the closed doors and windows that occasionally shone with dim yellow light on both sides of the alley, where perhaps their own joys and sorrows and struggles were hidden.
She spoke softly, breaking the silence, her voice exceptionally clear in the night: "I used to... not quite understand why some victims, despite being badly hurt, would still choose to stay, or even make excuses for their abusers."
Her tone was no longer one of calm judgment, but rather one of deep confusion and self-analysis: "I think that was cowardice, stupidity, and a complete loss of self-worth."
Lu Zhe glanced at her sideways. In the dim light, the lines of her profile appeared slightly softer, but her brows were furrowed with heavy thoughts. He didn't interrupt, but simply listened quietly.
“Until tonight,” Chu Yanxi paused, as if sorting out the turbulent thoughts in her heart, “I looked at Sister Chen Jing, at the fear in her eyes, and… that almost instinctive, habitual tendency to find reasons for him. I suddenly remembered my master’s evaluation of me, saying that I have strong logic, but lack empathy, especially when facing women, I always seem like an detached spectator.”
She gave a slight, bitter smile, a smile tinged with self-mockery: "I was unconvinced back then. Now that I think about it, he was right. I'm used to analyzing and judging from the high ground of 'correctness' and 'rationality,' but I rarely bend down to truly understand how cold the quagmire they were in really was. What bound their hands and feet, besides the real difficulties, was how much of it was the mental shackles and self-doubt that had been cultivated over the years?"
Lu Zhe slowed his pace, sensing the sincere reflection in Chu Yanxi's words. This was quite different from her usual sharp, calm, and sometimes aloof demeanor. A slight stirring occurred to him, a feeling of understanding and relief quietly welling up within him.
“Just like with my mother,” Chu Yanxi’s voice lowered, trembling slightly, “I only remember her betrayal, and resent her for starting a new life so quickly after my father left. But I never considered that a young woman, having lost her husband and raising her child alone, facing the heavy burden of life and the loneliness of long nights, wouldn’t she be afraid? Would she despair? Was her choice to cling to another relationship a betrayal, or… merely a way to grasp at a lifeline, a support that would allow her and her daughter to survive?”
She took a deep breath, the night wind filling her lungs with a chill: "I accused her of not being strong enough, not being loyal enough, but I never asked her how she got through those days. I only asked her to be a 'perfect' widow and mother, but forgot that she was first and foremost a 'person' who could be vulnerable, fearful, and in need of support."
Chu Yanxi's words were not fluent; he paused frequently, as if each word he uttered was a struggle with something deeply ingrained in his heart.
It was this awkwardness that made Lu Zhe truly feel her honesty and struggle at that moment. He could imagine how much courage it took for a negotiation expert like her, who was used to being in control and prioritizing rationality, to admit her blind spot in "empathy" and to conduct such a profound self-analysis.
Lu Zhe finally spoke, his voice gentle and steady in the night, carrying a comforting power: "This is not your fault, Yanxi. Our professional training, to some extent, requires us to maintain a certain emotional distance in order to make the clearest judgments. And the trauma of our original families will further affect the way we see the world. The fact that you are aware of these things and are trying to understand them is already a huge step forward."
He turned his head and looked at Chu Yanxi seriously, his gaze shining brightly in the dim light: "Do you know what you said to my mother upstairs just now—'If your tolerance and forgiveness can't be exchanged for appreciation and change, then it's not kindness, it's indulgence.' That was a very powerful statement. It didn't criticize from a superior position, but went straight to the heart of the problem. Moreover, from her perspective, it pointed out the potentially worse consequences of her actions. This in itself is a deeper level of empathy; you were trying to awaken her, rather than simply criticizing her."
Chu Yanxi was slightly taken aback and looked up at Lu Zhe. She hadn't expected him to say that, much less that he would observe and affirm her attempt at that moment so meticulously.
A warm current mixed with complex emotions surged into Chu Yanxi's heart.
She had always been accustomed to analyzing and solving problems independently, rarely revealing her inner doubts and reflections to others, and even less so receiving such specific and sincere feedback. Lu Zhe's words were like a small lamp, illuminating her somewhat chaotic mind at that moment, and also making her appreciate his keen insight and inclusive attitude even more.
Chu Yanxi's voice regained its usual clarity, but her tone was much gentler: "You reminded me of the importance of empathy, at the negotiating table, and when facing anyone in a difficult situation. I used to rely too much on skills and logic, but I forgot that people are made of flesh and blood. What can truly move people and bring about change is often the connection and understanding of emotions first. Thank you, Lu Zhe."
She spoke very seriously, with an unprecedented willingness to learn and adjust.
This attitude transformed Lu Zhe's initial relief into a clear joy. He saw the softness and self-reflection beneath her hard exterior, and beyond her status as a top negotiation expert, his valuable qualities of continuous growth and courage to correct herself. This made him feel that the distance between them had been shortened considerably at that moment.
“We learn from each other.” Lu Zhe smiled, his smile warm in the night. “I’ve also learned so much from you: decisiveness, execution, and a precise grasp of goals. Without you, tonight’s events wouldn’t have ended so smoothly.”
Lu Zhe turned to look at Chu Yanxi, his eyes shining brightly: "Tell me, how do you want my mother to stand up?"
The conversation naturally turned back to how to truly help Chenjing. As they walked along the gradually widening streets, with the sounds of returning night pedestrians and shop lights, their conversation became more in-depth and smoother.
Chu Yanxi refocused her thoughts, but this time, her perspective had clearly changed: "We have to help her, but how can we help her in a way that is truly effective? Find her a job? In her current state, she would probably find it difficult to handle and would easily become frustrated."
Lu Zhe interjected, his brows furrowing as usual: "Without economic independence, it's difficult to achieve personal independence. You can block a punch once, but you can't stop her from despising and depending on herself. She must be able to earn her own money and experience self-worth before she can truly stand tall."
“That’s right. Money is the courage of a hero, and for a woman, it’s the foundation for survival and respect.” Chu Yanxi agreed, her tone firm. “So, the key is not to give her fish, but to teach her how to fish, or even to teach her to identify where there are better fishing grounds. What she needs is skills, the ability to adapt to new environments, and the confidence to change the status quo.”
The two of them fell into thought again, and their pace slowed.
The night wind rustled the leaves of the plane trees along the roadside.
Lu Zhe tentatively suggested, "Perhaps we can train her?"
"Training?" Chu Yanxi immediately caught the key word and quickly considered the possibility of this suggestion.
“Yes! Short-term skills training! It’s highly targeted and effective. We can design it based on her situation and market demand. For example,” she thought as she listed, “computer operation. We are on the eve of the information age, and being able to use a computer is the foundation for many jobs in the future. Letting her learn this is not only a skill, but also opens a window to a new world and can greatly boost her confidence.”
Lu Zhe's thinking also opened up: "There's also domestic service. My mom is actually very capable; she's efficient at housework, childcare, and cooking. If she received professional training and obtained qualifications, she could become a professional nanny or domestic worker. There's a large market demand, and the hours are relatively flexible, so she can manage both..."
Lu Zhe smiled and said, "Me when I was a child."
Chu Yanxi and he exchanged a smile.
During this time travel, both of them saw themselves as infants, which was truly amazing.
Chu Yanxi continued the previous topic: "It could also be some basic training for small businesses, such as simple snack making, sales skills, and basic bookkeeping. You don't necessarily have to start a business right away, but having more skills gives you more confidence and more options."
The more they discussed it, the clearer their thinking became, and the brighter their eyes became. This direction seemed truly feasible.
However, the excitement on Lu Zhe's face slowly faded, replaced by a complex expression tinged with shame. He stopped and looked at the dimly lit street corner in the distance, his voice lowering: "Yanxi, speaking of training my mother... I just realized that I actually know nothing about her."
Chu Yanxi also stopped and quietly looked at him.
“All I know is that she’s my mother,” Lu Zhe said with a bitter smile, filled with deep self-reflection. “She’s the one who gave everything for me and took care of me meticulously. I know she’s hardworking, resilient, and has silently endured a lot. But what else? Before she became a mother, what color did she like? What songs did she love to listen to? What dreams did she have in her teenage years? What was she good at? What wasn’t she good at? Putting aside her identity as a mother, her joys and sorrows, her desires and fears, it seems I… have never cared about them.”
His words were filled with regret and a belated realization.
Traveling through time and space to re-examine his mother from an outsider's perspective, he was shocked to realize how superficial his understanding of her had been. He had always grieved for her early death and cherished the memory of her sacrifices, but he had never truly tried to understand the complete and vibrant person behind those sacrifices.
As Chu Yanxi listened, a great wave of emotion surged within her. Weren't Lu Zhe's words yet another self-examination for her? Wasn't her resentment towards her mother also built upon a simplistic notion of "how a mother should be"?
Whether they are calm or Su Wanqing, they are mothers, but first and foremost, they are independent individuals.
“I understand how you feel. We too easily stereotype the ‘mother’ role, forgetting that they are also individuals with flesh and blood, independent personalities and life trajectories. Helping Sister Chenjing may not only be about giving her a skill to make a living, but also about helping her find the self that has been buried by life and the identity of motherhood, and awakening her inner strength and desire.”
At that moment, the two looked at each other in the dimly lit street, their eyes filled with understanding and tacit agreement. Helping Chen Jing become independent was no longer just a task or a good deed, but a deeper goal—to help a repressed individual rediscover their self-worth.
Extending from this goal, one's vision suddenly opens up.
Lu Zhe's eyes sharpened again, filled with hope: "Yanxi, this isn't just my mother's problem. In Jiangcheng, across the country, how many laid-off workers, especially female workers, are facing similar confusion and predicaments? Outdated skills, obsolete ideas, family burdens, and no way out. If we can broaden our approach to helping my mother..."
Chu Yanxi immediately chimed in, her eyes gleaming with the light of discovery: "Let's create a vocational skills training program for laid-off workers! Even better, let's establish a professional training company! Providing truly practical, employable, and income-generating short-term skills training. This isn't just a business; it's a social need that can genuinely help people and even has policy support!"
The idea of starting a business became completely clear at that moment.
In the midst of the painful wave of layoffs in the late 1990s, at a critical juncture when countless people were bewildered and helpless, we offered a light, a path, and a hope.
This idea got them excited.
On the return journey, the two walked more slowly and discussed things more enthusiastically.
Lu Zhe, leveraging his experience in union work and communication skills, was responsible for preliminary policy research, market demand analysis, and identifying potential cooperative resources. Chu Yanxi, on the other hand, utilized her outstanding planning and structuring abilities to conceive the training system, design core course modules, calculate costs and benefits, and begin drafting a preliminary business plan.
Back downstairs at the guesthouse, their eyes met, and Chu Yanxi said softly, "Starting tomorrow."
“Yes,” Lu Zhe nodded, “Let’s take it one step at a time.”
The gentle night enveloped their figures. The road ahead was long, but with a clear direction and companions by their side, their hearts were filled with warmth and strength.
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