Chapter 59: Past and present, reunion after a long absence
Even if Gu Qijiao said nothing, Zheng Yunsheng knew how terrifying he looked just now.
Otherwise, she wouldn't have curled up into a ball and looked at him, not even holding the bowl in her hand firmly, which rolled to the ground.
He wanted to hug Gu Qijiao, to hold her in his arms and comfort her, but he didn't dare to touch her, because the person who frightened her like this was himself.
Zheng Yunsheng opened his mouth many times, but in the end no words came out.
Seeing Zheng Yunsheng's hesitation to speak, Gu Qijiao knew that he was not going to say anything again.
"You were like this before, keeping everything to yourself. You wouldn't tell me even when I asked you. Because that would mean we would end up being strangers. Now that you've started over, do you still plan to be the same as before?"
Having said that, Gu Qijiao thought that Zheng Yunsheng would no longer remain silent.
But after she waited for a while, not only did Zheng Yunsheng not speak, but he even let go of her shoulders, turned his back and didn't dare to look at her.
Zheng Yunsheng didn't dare to say it, because he himself couldn't accept that he had mental problems.
How can I tell Gu Qijiao?
Seeing Zheng Yunsheng's reaction, Gu Qijiao pursed her lips in despair.
She had just decided to live a good life with Zheng Yunsheng, but Zheng Yunsheng was still the same as in his previous life and was unwilling to communicate with her after things happened.
Then I don’t know what the meaning of this day is.
After sighing, Gu Qijiao walked around Zheng Yunsheng and headed for the kitchen.
He had only taken two steps when he was stopped by Zheng Yunsheng.
"Jiaojiao." Zheng Yunsheng held Gu Qijiao's hand and his voice was obviously choked and unclear when he spoke.
Gu Qijiao gently shook Zheng Yunsheng's hand and said softly:
"I'm here."
She could see that he was afraid, noticed the uneasiness in his eyes, so she was giving him courage.
Apparently Gu Qijiao's actions were useful. Zheng Yunsheng quickly raised his head and looked at Gu Qijiao deeply.
With Gu Qijiao's encouragement, he finally decided to reveal his current situation.
He pulled Gu Qijiao by the hand, closed the door to the yard, and then led Gu Qijiao into their room with disorderly steps.
After sitting on the bed, Zheng Yunsheng grabbed his hair randomly, and then began to tell Gu Qijiao about his past that he had not explained clearly before.
From the time he learned about Gu Qijiao's death and started to harass her, to the time he brutally tortured and killed Bai Xiaoou, to the time he could no longer control his emotions and finally jumped into the incinerator because of the pain, Zheng Yunsheng told Gu Qijiao all these things.
During this period, Zheng Yunsheng kept his head down. At the end, he raised his head and looked at Gu Qijiao, who had been leaning against the bedside cabinet while he was talking, and said with difficulty:
"Jiaojiao, I thought I was over and all those things were in the past, but that uncontrollable irritability seemed to come back with me.
The first day I met Bai Xiaoou, I even had the urge to kill again. At that time, I thought that I would only be like that, irritable and easily angered, when I saw Bai Xiaoou.
But now I find that any unhappy things can cause me to lose control of my emotions, including when you said you wanted a divorce and when I came back to see you were not at home.
I always have dreams at night. In my dreams, there is a bathtub full of blood and flames rising into the sky. They are always trying to devour me bit by bit.
That violent mood can still talk. He said that I was supposed to be evil. Do you think there will be a day when I really go crazy? "
Gu Qijiao had been staring at Zheng Yunsheng's face. The confusion and helplessness on that face made her feel distressed. She walked up to him and touched his head lovingly.
Even though she still felt frightened when she thought of his angry look, his murderous intent, and his cruelty, she still reached out to him firmly.
Because of this man, everything became like this, all because of her.
In her previous life, before she married Zheng Yunsheng, Gu Qijiao had never received proper guidance. She had a distorted world view, low character, and was domineering and shameless. It was Zheng Yunsheng who guided her little by little and changed her for the better.
Even though she had never felt his love, and even mistakenly believed that he was so eager to change her because he hated her original self, he did change her and redeem her.
He once saved her, but now she saves him.
She gently held his head in her arms and whispered in his ear:
"I won't let you go crazy, you will get better, no matter if you have killed someone or set a fire, I will be with you.
Zheng Yunsheng, our love was too heavy in the last life, we must stay together well in this life. "
Gu Qijiao thought that it would take time for her to rebuild her relationship with Zheng Yunsheng.
But it is not actually necessary.
When she heard that he killed people for her, jumped into the incinerator for her, and even cared about her after the relapse, she completely fell.
Although he was not good at speaking, he loved her deeply.
The reason why Zheng Yunsheng didn't want to say that his emotions were out of control was because he was afraid that Gu Qijiao would dislike her.
He failed to protect him well in his previous life, and now... he has become so terrible, even with violent tendencies.
Which woman would want to spend her whole life with a man like this? Zheng Yunsheng didn't even dare to think about it.
But now, not only did Gu Qijiao not despise him, she also reached out and hugged him, saying that she would always be with him in the future. This undoubtedly gave Zheng Yunsheng great encouragement.
Zheng Yunsheng raised his head, hugged Gu Qijiao, held her on his lap, and touched her hair with tenderness and gratitude.
"Let's observe carefully. Maybe those things have cast too big a shadow on you and you can't get out of it for a while.
Maybe it will get better after a while. If it still doesn't get better and the situation is serious, we can go to the city to see a doctor. "
Gu Qijiao spoke the following words carefully, for she was afraid that Zheng Yunsheng would be disgusted, because if she really took him to see a doctor, it would mean that she really thought he was sick.
She was worried that he wouldn't be able to accept it psychologically.
But Zheng Yunsheng did not feel disgusted. He just buried his head in her chest and asked in a low voice with some uncertainty:
"You really won't leave me. You won't abandon me again, right?"
This time, Gu Qijiao didn't say anything, because she lowered her head and kissed his angular lips.
Gu Qijiao's warm breath gently sprayed on Zheng Yunsheng's face.
Her lips were cool.
This kiss was like a gentle breeze that blew away all the burning pain in Zheng Yunsheng's heart during the hot summer.
The pain of being burned by flames seemed to be alleviated a lot with this kiss.
This kiss, carrying all the entanglements of the past and present lives, spanned all the reunions of the past and present lives, and condensed all the thousands of words of the past and present lives.
The breathing of both of them became heavier. Zheng Yunsheng quickly turned from passive to active and pushed Gu Qijiao onto the bed.
"Zheng Yunsheng, it's daytime now."
"in spite of."
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