Chapter 277 What I fear most is not having you
His love for her made him greedy. He didn't want to be separated from her and wanted to see her every day.
But he also has more important things to do and can't stay with her all the time.
If they get married, he can take her away with him, and they can be together every day.
Cui Si frowned and did not answer. She took him to Yayuan and ordered someone to serve him hot tea.
It is already mid-October, and the autumn wind has been tinged with some winter chill, with a chilling feeling in the wind.
However, the scenery in Yayuan is still beautiful, the pines and cypresses are still there, and the trees are evergreen.
"I used to..." He started to say, then laughed to himself, "I always felt that I shouldn't indulge in love affairs. The Yan family's blood feud is waiting for me to avenge, and I can't bring those who follow me to a situation where there is no return."
"Perhaps I'm really afraid, afraid of indulging in love between men and women."
He was afraid that he would lose his fighting spirit and bloodiness, and thus stop moving forward and put the Yan family's blood feud aside.
So every time he met her, he always came and went in a hurry. He never stayed to indulge. She might have seen it clearly and never tried to keep him.
It is normal for couples to be together less than they are apart.
This is their past.
He also always felt that their lives were long, and once he had pacified the world, they could be reunited.
But he made her wait and wait, year after year, until he finally pacified the world, but he betrayed her.
He never gave what he promised in his lifetime.
Everything is fleeting, illusory and empty.
Cui Si was silent for a long time, then asked him, "So you're not afraid now?"
"What I fear most is not having you," he replied.
Loss is the most frightening thing in the world. It is the great terror hidden in the heart and even the soul. Cherishing the present is the foundation of life. It's ridiculous that he only realized it now.
"And there's nothing to be afraid of. With you by my side, I'll be braver and stronger."
"I was wrong before."
......
After he finished speaking, the two of them were silent for a long time. The autumn wind blew through the branches and leaves, white clouds drifted across the sky, and the sunlight sprinkled lightly on the earth, filtering through the branches and leaves, and casting mottled patches on the ground.
After an unknown amount of time, he lowered his eyes and asked again, "A'si, are you still unwilling?"
"Lin Qingning, I will order someone to send her back to Beiyan City. What happened before will never happen again. I will never..."
"It's too early for you to say that." Cui Si interrupted him, "I haven't thought about it yet."
She didn't say she agreed, but she also didn't keep him at a distance like before, being cold and indifferent, and never looking back.
Yan Xingchuan paused, and then his eyes lit up a little: "You just haven't thought about it yet? That's okay, if you haven't thought about it yet, just think about it slowly. I will always wait for you."
This shows that you are willing to consider it and give him a chance.
As long as there is an opportunity, everything is possible.
"Then you stay in Xianyang City first. I'll go to Miaozhou to finish my business and then come to see you. It won't be long, at most half a year, and I'll be back."
Cui Si nodded and agreed: "Okay."
This time, when Yan Xingchuan walked, he felt as if his soul was floating in the sky, and even his feet on the ground felt unreal, as if he was dreaming.
He thought to himself, if this was a dream, then he might as well never wake up.
After resolving the issue between Chen Sui and the Cui family, Yan Xingchuan led everyone back to Pingzhou City. When they arrived in Pingzhou City, he arranged for Yun Gang to send Lin Qingning back to Beiyan City for proper resettlement.
As for Chen Sui, he had to follow him back to Miaozhou. He still needed to be punished for the mistakes he made.
When Lin Qingning learned that Chen Sui was not going with her, she broke down and cried until her eyes were swollen.
"Why do you insist on me returning to Beiyan City? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong?"
"Cousin, are you still my cousin? How dare you treat me like this for a woman?"
"If I had known you would treat me like this, why would I come back? I would have just let myself die..."
Yan Xingchuan was not soft-hearted and had her put on the carriage.
"It's difficult to have both in this world. You have your selfish desires, and I have mine. There will be people in Beiyan City who will take good care of you. If you want anything, just tell the housekeeper. Qingning, take care."
After watching the carriage leave, Yan Xingchuan immediately returned to Miaozhou to deal with the subsequent matters in Miaozhou. He also had to stop Cui Jing to prevent him from going crazy again and causing trouble that would be difficult to resolve.
The more Yan Xingchuan thought about these things, the more headache he got. He thought to himself that his master had been deceived.
One of them doesn't take him seriously, the other does, but because of his wife and the other's powerful mouth, he can always make out some truth even when he is unreasonable, and when he is right, he is simply arrogant.
He can't win the argument.
Thinking of this, he decided to practice with Shen Sui on the way to prevent him from causing trouble after having too much food.
After thirteen days, everyone finally returned to Piaomiao City.
Cui Jing, Cui Yi, Wu Tu and others had just captured the remaining two cities in Miaozhou when they received a letter from Xianyang City. They returned to Piaomiao City and asked Shangguan Tong to arrange things before returning to Xianyang City.
Shangguan Tong naturally knew about this matter and was having a headache at the moment, but he also knew that he could not let Cui Jing go back.
Once Cui Jing returned and started making a scene, there was really no way to stop it.
"Mr. Cui, Miaozhou is in ruins right now. We need to re-measure the land, return the land taken from some clans to the people, and arrange for the appointment of officials and the selection of scholars."
"The remaining clansmen in Miaozhou are in a state of panic and are waiting for you to come forward and talk to them."
Beiyan's attitude towards clans was very subtle. Wherever they went, if a clan member ran away, their fields, shops, and houses would be confiscated. The land would belong to the people, and some of the shops and houses would be sold for money, while others would be distributed as rewards.
If they don't run away, they will be held accountable and their ill-gotten gains will be confiscated. If they commit a serious crime, they will also be held accountable. For example, if someone in the clan kills someone, he will definitely be tried.
Xu Daozhen and Cui Jing have always been responsible for handling these clans, with Xu Daozhen playing the bad guy and Cui Jing playing the good guy.
"Why don't I leave the selection of officers to you? I've already decided to select talented and famous generals for Northern Yan in Piaomiao City in three months. This time, we'll divide them into civil and military positions. I'll leave the civil part to you. How do you think?"
"Thank you, Military Advisor, for your kindness." Cui Jing thanked him but declined. "It's just that Jingzhi has been away from home for a long time. It's time for him to go back and take a look. There are still many talented people in the army regarding the selection of articles. Why not leave it to you?"
Shangguan Tong was surprised. He knew that Cui Jing had always wanted to accumulate merits so that he could be granted a title of nobility when Northern Yan came to power. He didn't expect that he would refuse such a good job that was right in front of him.
You have to know that if these people were selected by Cui Jing and recommended by him, they would naturally stand on his side.
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