Chapter 372 I hope there is still a future between her and me
Yan Xingchuan's expression changed again and again, and a struggle flashed across his face.
Logically speaking, Lin Qingning's request was indeed reasonable. Not to mention that the Yan family owed the Lin family, he owed the Lin family, even if it was just for the sake of his eldest brother, he should make this trip.
This is what he should do.
But he immediately thought of Cui Si.
She is a person who cannot tolerate any grain of sand in her eyes. In the previous life, he made Lin Qingning the queen. Later, she didn't want the position of queen anymore, and she even didn't want him as a whole.
Even if he died, she would put him together with Lin Qingning and never see him again in the rest of her life.
In this life, he had not yet married Cui Si, but he went to marry someone else and had a wedding ceremony with her. So, maybe he really would not have the chance to marry her in this life.
Or maybe, after she heard the news, she would turn against him on the spot, and from then on, they would really go their separate ways, and she would never see him again.
Besides, he had promised her that no matter what happened in this life, he would choose her and would never let her suffer any injustice, criticism or ridicule because of him.
He also promised her that he would live with her like this, and she would not marry unless he married her. If he went to pick her up and had a wedding ceremony with Lin Qingning, then in her eyes, would it be considered that he had chosen to repay her kindness and take care of Lin Qingning in this life?
Did she think that he had deceived her, betrayed her, and abandoned her again? Would she be angry and sad?
Yan Xingchuan reached out and pressed his eyebrows, his head throbbing with pain.
How can one have the best of both worlds? How can one have the best of both worlds?
Since he couldn't have the best of both worlds, he had no choice but to make a choice.
Yan Xingchuan made up his mind without much hesitation: "Qingning, this is really not possible."
In two lives, in the first life, he chose Gu Quan Lin Qingning and chose to repay her kindness. In this life, he wants to choose his wife.
Even if he owes his wife, he hopes that there will be fewer barriers between them in this life.
Lin Qingning didn't expect Yan Xingchuan to reject her after all his hesitation. She was in disbelief for a moment: "You actually don't agree?"
Yan Xingchuan said, "I hope you can understand. I can agree to everything else, but there's only one thing I can't give you: my wife's things. I still have to live with her."
"Whether it's picking up the bride or holding the wedding ceremony, that should only happen between her and me. I hope that one day, she will put aside her grudges and be with me, without these barriers between us."
"I owe her too much, I can't add to it. I hope there's still a future between her and me... If there's no future, I'll really have nothing left in this life."
He had no greed for power or status. His parents, brothers, uncles and aunts were all gone. His closest relatives in life were only his wife and children, and they were all he had left in his life.
He didn't want him and her to become like in the previous life, and he didn't want her to hate and blame him, and then live an unhappy life.
Yan Xingchuan clenched his fingers: "I'm sorry, I can't promise you."
"You did it for Cui Liuniang?" Lin Qingning was in disbelief. She was stunned for a long moment, then her defenses suddenly broke. "You actually did it for her! You did it for her, didn't you?"
"Why, why does she let you do this? It's not enough that she has taken you over, but she won't even let you do this. Why, why, why?"
"Why should she live a life of wealth and nobility, with parents and brothers loving her, and now that she's older, she has a man like you who is devoted to her, while I have to suffer so much and have no family left?"
"Even you, the only one left, the one my brother risked his life to save, my cousin, you refused to agree to even such a small thing for her!"
"Have you ever been worthy of me? Have you ever been worthy of my Lin family? Have you ever been worthy of my brother?"
"She is a vixen, just like her brother. It's not enough that they have harmed the Shen family's brother, they also want to harm you and make you become like this!"
"Qingning, this matter has nothing to do with her. It's my choice." Yan Xingchuan didn't say anything at first. This was his choice. He was indeed sorry for Lin Qingning and the Lin family. He accepted it if Lin Qingning wanted to scold him.
But he couldn't bear to hear Lin Qingning scolding Cui Si.
It's his own choice.
Lin Qingning's eyes were red. "It was your choice, and she forced you to do it. It's all because of her. Because of her, I'm going to find her. I want to ask her what she really wants. How can she be so selfish and vicious?"
After saying that, Lin Qingning turned around and walked out, looking like she was going to settle a score with someone.
"Stop." Yan Xingchuan stopped her, a headache coming on. "I told you not to cause trouble for her. Did you forget? I told you, this is my choice."
"Why did you look for her? She never planned to marry me, and she never wanted to be with me. It was me who begged her. I was afraid that she would abandon me and choose someone else. I was afraid that I would make her unhappy."
"Qingning, I told you that I will treat you like my own sister and protect you like your brother, so that you can live a worry-free life. But there is one thing: you can't mess with her."
"She and I are husband and wife, and she's very important to me. You can't touch what's hers, do you understand? Why do you have to... why do you have to fight with her?"
"Then why did she fight with me?" Lin Qingning turned around and asked him again.
"What is she fighting with you for?" Yan Xingchuan also wanted to ask Lin Qingning, "It's you who is fighting. You are trying to use my guilt towards the Lin family and my guilt towards you to fight for what should belong to her."
Yan Xingchuan covered his chest, feeling the pain in his heart: "Qingning, I am your brother and her husband. I hope you can understand the difference. I will not give her what is yours, and I cannot give you what is hers."
"Marriage only happens once in a lifetime, and I don't know if that day will ever come for her and me. But I really... I really don't want to add another thorn to this matter and make her feel disgusted."
"Don't tell anyone about this, and don't even think about looking for her. Just treat it as me begging you, okay?"
"You and I are the only blood relatives left in this world. Can you please be considerate of me? You want status, you want wealth and honor, I can give them to you. I only ask this one thing from you."
Lin Qingning bit her lip, calmed down for a moment, and asked him, "Is Cui Liuniang really more important than me? Is she really more important than the Lin family's kindness?"
"It's equally important." Yan Xingchuan closed his eyes. "I haven't forgotten the Lin family's kindness, nor have I forgotten to protect you for the rest of my life, but she is the one who will accompany me for life, and I don't want her to suffer because of me."
"That's all for now. I'll take care of the bride-picking and wedding ceremony. I'll also ask someone else to arrange it. I'm sure you won't be wronged..."
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