Chapter 385: Like being stabbed
Cui Si hid in the dormitory. After taking a shower, she wanted to sleep for a while, but she was worried about something and couldn't sleep at all.
She felt annoyed just lying there, and she felt annoyed as well if she sat up. Now that her belly was big, she couldn't even roll over and over in bed.
In the end, I was so annoyed that I grabbed a soft pillow and pounded it hard several times, but I still didn't feel relieved.
"Come out for dinner." Someone outside called her.
Cui Si was reluctant and replied unhappily, "I'm not hungry, so I won't eat."
This is still willful. Yan Xingchuan frowned, then stood up and knocked on the door: "Do you want me to come in and invite you in?"
Cui Si: "..."
Hearing his tone, she could tell that he was quite resentful. Cui Si didn't dare to provoke him. Besides, she was really hungry at the moment. She punched the pillow hard, then asked Yanzhi to help her up. She wanted to go out.
Rouge laughed muffledly.
Cui Si was annoyed: "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing." Yanzhi immediately shut up.
Cui Si snorted twice: "You are just laughing at me for being afraid of him, right?"
Yanzhi immediately said, "How could that be? Madam, I'm not afraid at all. Is there anyone in this world that Madam is afraid of?"
Cui Si: "..."
Don't think I can't hear your sarcasm.
Suddenly I don’t want to talk anymore.
Never mind, never mind. People’s joys and sorrows cannot be understood. She has to bear her own tiredness silently.
Cui Si walked out while thinking. When she came out, a table had been placed in the middle of the hall, and prepared meals were brought in and placed on the table one after another.
Yan Xingchuan was sitting on the other side of the table. When he saw her come out, he stood up and helped her sit down opposite him. Then he sat back in his seat, rolled up his sleeves, poured her half a bowl of soup and placed it in front of her.
"Have two sips of soup first."
His calm and composed appearance made Cui Si feel uneasy. She stared at the bowl of soup in front of her and didn't dare to touch it at all.
"You won't poison me, will you?" Cui Si swallowed her saliva, feeling uneasy, afraid that he would be so angry that he would drag her to death with him.
"How could that be?" Yan Xingchuan raised his eyes and glanced at her. That glance seemed to see through her from head to toe. Finally, his gaze fell on her belly and he said darkly, "Even if you were going to die, you wouldn't take the child with you."
Cui Si subconsciously put her hands up to protect her stomach and glared at him angrily: "What nonsense are you talking about!"
Yan Xingchuan asked her back: "Then what nonsense are you asking? And you're poisoning me?"
Cui Si was speechless and her face turned red for a moment. She didn't know how to argue. In anger, she reached out and picked up the soup bowl in front of her to drink the soup.
She shut up and drank the soup.
After she drank half a bowl of soup, he replaced her food with rice and then picked up some vegetables for her, without saying a word.
She didn't speak, and he didn't speak either, just like a mute.
This meal is really hard to swallow. I am so angry that I am about to feel full.
Just when she was about to put down her chopsticks and leave, he suddenly said, "Let's get married in a few days."
He said this slowly and calmly, but there seemed to be an irresistible oppression in his voice.
"Get married?" Cui Si's expression condensed slightly, then she looked up at him.
Yan Xingchuan also looked at her steadily, as if trying to read something from her expression.
"Why do you have to get married?" Cui Si frowned and refused. "Didn't we agree before that we would just be together like this? Why do you..."
"You and I have lived in a muddled way, do you want your child to be like that?" Yan Xingchuan held his breath. "You don't care about those rumors, do you think your child doesn't care too?"
"Or have you been lying to me from the beginning? You don't want to be with me at all. You only want the child and not me. You want to take the child and live with Jiang Cinian forever, right?"
Yan Xingchuan felt so angry that his heart ached.
When he learned in Xianyang City that she had not returned to Xianyang City at all, he was extremely worried and immediately arranged for people to look for her.
When he learned that she was pregnant and was in Yunzhou City with Jiang Cinian, he was so angry that he vomited blood.
At that time, there was only one thought in his mind: she was lying to him.
Why not just be husband and wife and stay together like this? She came back to find him just for the child. As soon as the child was born, she immediately turned around and ran away to find Jiang Cinian.
The two of them lived together happily, raised their children together, and he was kicked aside after he was used up.
The feeling of being used, deceived and abandoned is like being stabbed with a knife. My internal organs hurt and even breathing is difficult.
He was angry and embarrassed, and wanted to rush to her right then and there to ask her what she meant, why she treated him like that, and how he had wronged her.
We agreed to be together, but it turned out to be a lie.
She only cared about Jiang Cinian and didn't care about his life or death.
On the way here, he kept thinking about it, and kept thinking about it. He must find her and ask her clearly whether she really loves him or not, and whether he still has a place in her heart.
What exactly does he have to do so that she can have a place for him in her heart?
But after thinking about it, he thought of his previous life. In his previous life, he ignored her situation and made Lin Qingning the queen, leaving her aside. Was her mood at that time the same as his now?
It felt like I was stabbed hard, and all my internal organs were in pain.
She was angry, unwilling, and even unbelievable. She never expected that the person she trusted would betray her, abandon her, and hurt her.
So she turned against him at that time, wishing he was dead, wishing he turned into ashes and rotted together with Lin Qingning, wishing he had never existed in her life.
I wish I could live forever and never see him again.
He knew that she had been wronged and that she was angry, but he felt that as long as he worked harder and walked towards her firmly, so that she would never suffer any injustice in her life, one day she would see his good side and reconcile with him.
But only after he was stabbed did he realize what it felt like to be betrayed and abandoned by the person he trusted the most, and how angry and unwilling he felt, and how hard it was to get over it.
At this moment, he finally understood what it meant to be unable to recover what was lost and what it meant to mend a broken relationship.
Even if he retrieved the broken mirror piece by piece, even if he repaired it and put it back together, the cracks could never be repaired.
She couldn't bear his betrayal and hurt. Every time she saw the mirror, she would remember how it was broken. Every time she thought about it, she felt sad, just like those cracks that were hard to heal.
He had a lot of messy thoughts, and although he was holding his breath, he didn't dare to say anything, for fear of debating with her again about the right and wrong of these grievances.
He was even more afraid that she would bring up the past and really abandon him.
He thought to himself, let's get married. Since we already have a child, let's get married. Then the family can be together and he won't have to ask anything or care about anything.
But I never thought that even now, when the child is about to be born, she still refuses to get married.
Are you still thinking about Jiang Cinian and wanting to take your children to be with him?
I’m so angry! I’m really so angry!
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