Chapter 18 "I heard that when the princess was widowed in Xichuan..."
In a secluded palace on Beiming Mountain, Feng Wan, dressed in a black cloak, waited anxiously for the person who would arrive.
Over the past few days, she had tried every means to find out all sorts of information about Xie Zhuo. His birth date, ancestral home, military experience... Because she was in the mountains, the information she obtained was limited, but the various bits and pieces she pieced together had already shocked her.
Coupled with the description of his appearance given by the palace maids who had seen his true face, Feng Wan couldn't help but connect him with the person she had longed for for many years.
Although one is a scholar and the other is a general, they are completely unrelated.
The footsteps sounded earlier than she expected.
The door creaked open, and Feng Wan saw the general walking in calmly with his face covered by a silver mask. Her suspicions deepened.
She couldn't believe that any minister in the court who was not related to her could be invited to such a secluded place in this way and still remain so calm and happy to meet her.
Xie Zhuo didn't even ask.
After he entered, he gave a simple bow and then stood quietly a few feet away from her.
Feng Wan was overwhelmed with emotion, and countless things wanted to burst out, but when she actually opened her mouth, her throat was so dry that she hesitated for a moment, and the words she had prepared became stiff and broken.
"General Xie, I've invited you here because I want to ask you a question... If you don't mind, could you tell me your father's name?"
After asking the question in a trembling voice, Feng Wan realized that she had been extremely abrupt and out of line, but since the words had already been spoken, she couldn't care less about that. She took two steps forward and looked at him nervously.
Xie Zhuo did not answer her immediately; he remained silent, and the only sound in the quiet palace was Feng Wan's rapid breathing.
A moment later, Feng Wan heard Xie Zhuo sigh softly, "Your Majesty should know my father's name."
Feng Wan was startled, and her voice trembled even more violently, "I...I don't know."
My father's name was Jiming.
A heavy weight lifted from her heart, and Feng Wan was stunned for a moment. "You really are Xie Qinglang."
Feng Wan's father was named Feng Shunkang. He was a scholar from a small county in Jiangnan. He and Xie Jiming grew up together and were like brothers.
One summer, a flood struck the county, inundating crops and destroying houses. The two men were trapped in the water. Feng Shunkang couldn't swim, and Xie Jiming dragged him along, barely managing to survive. Later, Xie Jiming found a piece of driftwood for Feng Shunkang to hold onto. As Feng Shunkang turned to find another plank, a huge wave crashed in, and he was instantly swept away...
Several years later, Feng Shunkang passed the imperial examination and became an official in a remote prefecture in Xichuan. One day, he met the impoverished Xie Jiming in front of his official residence. It turned out that Xie Jiming had been swept away by a flood to a place a hundred miles away, but he had miraculously survived. However, his hometown was destroyed and he could not find his old friends, so he had to move to another place. Over the years, he had repeatedly failed the imperial examinations, and his wife had died early, making it difficult for him to make a living. Finally, a year ago, he found out about Feng Shunkang's whereabouts and took his son to seek refuge with him.
Feng Shunkang was narrow-minded and became even more arrogant after becoming an official. When faced with his former benefactor, he merely gave him a few coins and sent him away. Later, Xie Jiming came to him again to ask for tuition fees for his son's studies. Only then did Feng Shunkang realize that Xie's son was exceptionally intelligent and talented, and would surely have a remarkable future. Thinking that he could profit from this, Feng Shunkang finally agreed to generously give him the money. Later, he even betrothed his daughter to Xie, hoping to receive even greater rewards in return.
As it turned out, Xie Qinglang was indeed a rare find, as Princess Yongning took a liking to her.
The princess condescended to negotiate the terms of annulment with the Feng family, and the Feng father and daughter thus sold Xie Qinglang for an excellent price.
Feng Wan stared incredulously at the self-proclaimed general, "What's going on? How did you become a general? You're clearly a scholar."
He was still a scholar who couldn't carry heavy loads or lift heavy objects, and who would fall ill several times every autumn and winter.
"Why did you change your name? And why has your voice changed? You didn't speak like this before..."
Xie Zhuo's voice was slightly deep, "Things are unpredictable, so be it."
He knew he would have to face the stories of his old friends sooner or later, and he didn't deliberately hide his identity. Compared to Feng Wan, whose heart was in turmoil, he was much calmer.
Even though Xie Zhuo was prepared, he didn't want to explain what happened back then.
Feng Wan asked several questions, but she couldn't get Xie Zhuo to talk.
She felt a pang of sadness, but forced a smile and said, "If you don't want to talk about it, then so be it. I've been so worried about you all these years without any news from you. Now that I see you've become a great general who commands respect from all directions, I'm truly happy for you."
Xie Zhuo said gently, "That's good. When I returned to the court this time, I heard that you had been promoted to the rank of Consort, and I was also happy for you."
Feng Wan felt a pang of sadness. "Really?"
"really."
Aren't you angry with me?
Xie Zhuo shook his head, "What are you talking about? Water flows downhill, and people strive for higher positions. I have never blamed you."
Seventeen-year-old Xie Qinglang was strange.
At that time, Xie Qinglang had just emerged from the shadow of losing his father. He was in the prime of his life, had achieved academic success, and had a beautiful fiancée by his side. A bright future seemed within his reach.
Even though a domineering young princess was harassing him, he didn't take it seriously. He packed his books and went to Feng Shunkang's private residence in the countryside, intending to use this time to study his strategies. Unexpectedly, after only a few days, the princess and her entourage broke down the door.
The betrayal by the Feng family father and daughter was like a knife stabbing into his heart.
At that time, Xie Qinglang did not expect that many years later, when Xie Zhuo stepped into the Emperor's Hall and saw Feng Wan in her magnificent attire, he would not be moved at all. He even thought to himself that Xue Mingyao would not be happy with Feng Wan's good fortune.
Feng Wan frowned, looking unconvinced.
Xie Zhuo then said, "So many years have passed, I have long forgotten the past, you don't need to worry about it."
"Forgot?" Feng Wan felt a sense of absurdity and blurted out almost without thinking, "You really forgot everything? You forgot Xue Mingyao too?"
Xie Zhuo's Adam's apple bobbed, and he said firmly, "Of course. It's just a trivial past, why should I remember her? I have nothing to do with her."
A wave of bitterness washed over Feng Wan. "Your story is so similar to hers. She also said she'd long forgotten you, that she couldn't even remember what you looked like. You two, you really are..."
She stared blankly at the general, whose face was masked and devoid of emotion, trying to find a word to describe these two people who were too forward-looking.
As if they had conspired together, they lightly brushed aside the past that had troubled her for years, making her lingering resentment seem like a joke.
If those at the center of the storm are so indifferent, isn't her guilt and persistence just needless self-inflicted trouble?
Suddenly, Xie Zhuo exclaimed urgently, "She said she forgot me?"
“Yes, I went to see her a few days ago.” Feng Wan repeated Xue Mingyao’s words to Xie Zhuo, her expression complicated. “If she knew your identity, she would be very surprised.”
Xie Zhuo said, "There's no need to tell her specifically; just let things take their course."
Feng Wan agreed and asked about his illness. Xie Zhuo dodged the question, and after a while said, "Your Majesty should go back early. It is not appropriate for us to meet like this. If we are discovered, the consequences will be unpredictable."
Upon hearing the title "Your Majesty," Feng Wan felt a bitter taste on her tongue, yet she was speechless.
The man in front of her had his face hidden behind a mask. He was much taller and stronger, and exuded a calm and powerful aura. Feng Wan could hardly find any trace of her former lover in him.
It was as if he had completely removed the part of himself that belonged to Xie Qinglang.
"General Xie, I am in the palace. Although I don't have much power, I can still say a few words to the emperor. If you need my help, please don't hesitate to ask."
Before leaving, Feng Wan said this.
......
Xue Mingyao said that she had long forgotten about him.
He is not worth her thoughts.
She couldn't even remember what he looked like.
These words churned within Xie Zhuo's chest, making him feel as if he were suffocating.
What gives her the right to so easily walk away and forget him after overturning his fate and changing him beyond recognition?
Did that intense passion of yesteryear leave no trace in her heart?
Xie Zhuo felt a tightness in his chest. After saying goodbye to Feng Wan, he led his horse out.
The February wind still cut like a knife, and the wild grasses all leaned to one side. Xie Zhuo spurred his horse and galloped wildly, searching for Xue Mingyao's figure in the vast mountains and fields.
He didn't have to exert much effort before he spotted a plump, strong crimson horse galloping towards him, its golden saddle tassels fluttering in the wind.
Xie Zhuo had a bellyful of nasty words to utter, but upon seeing the beautiful woman dressed in purple Hu clothing on horseback, he felt his lips stick together and didn't know where to begin his questioning.
Xue Mingyao was hunting alone this afternoon and was lucky enough to catch a young roe deer. She was feeling quite pleased with herself when she saw Xie Zhuo suddenly appear. She wasn't annoyed at all, but instead smiled, reined in her horse, and waved her prey, "General Xie, what have you caught?"
"No," Xie Zhuo said frankly. "I don't like hunting, and I don't want to kill."
Xue Mingyao was taken aback, then chuckled and said, "You're a general!"
Xie Zhuo said coldly, "Your hands are already stained with blood, why commit more murders?"
Feeling rather bored, Xue Mingyao put the roe deer away. Seeing Xie Zhuo turn around and ride alongside her, she asked curiously, "Then why did you come out riding a horse?"
Of those who accompanied the spring hunt, more than half did not know how to hunt; they generally stayed in the palace and participated in various banquets and outings.
“A spring outing is so relaxing,” Xie Zhuo said.
"Oh—" Xue Mingyao tilted her head to look at the silver mask on his face. "General Xie, the poison in you has been completely cured, right? Why are you still wearing a mask? Could it be that you've really been disfigured?"
Xie Zhuo avoided answering, instead asking, "It seems the princess has never seen my true face. Are you curious about what I look like?"
Xue Mingyao scoffed, "People call you the Jade-Faced General, but I think that's mostly an understatement."
Xie Zhuo did not retaliate, gazing at the lush forest ahead, lost in thought.
Xue Mingyao frowned, picked up the reins and prepared to continue riding, when she suddenly heard Xie Zhuo say, "I heard that the princess is very particular about men's appearance. When she was widowed in Xichuan, she once saw a handsome young man and forcibly took him into her mansion."
That's very offensive.
Although Xue Mingyao knew that her actions in Xichuan had spread throughout Zhongjing, no one dared to mention it openly in front of her. Moreover, what Xie Zhuo said was clearly different from the version that was circulating.
She raised her chin. "General Xie, where did you hear such untrue rumors?"
A note from the author:
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Yaoyao is very concerned about her appearance.
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