At the dinner table today, my daughter didn't say a single word to Tong Beibei.
As for now, Tong Beibei suddenly rushed into Zhou Xinya's room. Zhou Xinya pouted and frowned, about to speak.
Sun Lifang stopped her daughter and called out to the inside, "Beibei, Auntie will take your older sister to the toilet first, and we'll come to play with you later."
The banquet started at 5 p.m., and the cake probably wouldn't be cut until 8 p.m. Sun Lifang dragged her daughter to another room and asked her to sit down.
"Ya Ya, have you forgotten something again?"
Sun Lifang remembers teaching her daughter to solve problems, rather than suppressing them when they arise.
She was clearly angry that Tong Beibei had broken her things, but she tolerated it because of the friendship between the two families.
Zhou Xinya is actually quite "precocious," or you could say she's sensible.
Even if she is very sensible, she is still a simple-minded child at heart.
Sun Lifang felt that as an adult, she needed to talk to her daughter.
"This is the friend you want to make, right?"
When Zhou Xinya didn't have many friends, Tong Beibei was her only friend.
But once she made other friends, that first friend no longer mattered.
“It’s not that Tong Beibei is stupid, it’s that you’ve changed.” Sun Lifang patted her daughter’s head. “Right?”
Zhou Xinya lowered her head, unsure of what to say.
"When friends are together, we shouldn't just focus on each other's shortcomings, but also look at each other's strengths."
In fact, Tong Beibei's situation is very similar to that of Zhou Xinya in the past.
I have no friends.
Zhou Xinya couldn't fit in because of her "country accent," while Tong Beibei was in poor health, and Mrs. Tong didn't like to let her go out to play.
"You think you know a lot and that Tong Beibei is stupid, but have you ever seen yourself when you were four years old?"
Even four-year-old Zhou Xinya isn't that smart, is she?
Children's world is a lot like adults'. When they discover that someone is inferior to them but still tries to please them, a sense of superiority creeps in, and they become arrogant.
It could also be said that Tong Beibei gave Zhou Xinya confidence.
Those who are favored are often fearless, and Sun Lifang plans to teach her daughter to look at problems objectively and handle interpersonal relationships.
Instead of bottling up problems and turning away like an idiot.
That won't solve the problem; you'll only be at a disadvantage.
Looking at her daughter's aggrieved face, Sun Lifang pointed out the problem incisively—
"Mom wants you to be happy, but you're not happy right now, are you?"
How long can Zhou Xinya hide from Tong Beibei?
“We’ll solve the problem when it arises. You don’t need to forgive the other person on behalf of your mother.”
"That's between you two. Mom just wants you to be happy."
After saying this, Sun Lifang waited for her daughter's reaction.
She wasn't trying to take sides; she was simply building upon this simple point and convincing her daughter that she was on her side.
I really hope she can understand this sooner.
Sun Lifang thought to herself, if she had understood this principle back then and made timely changes to her dissatisfaction with life, things wouldn't have turned out that way, right?
Zhou Xinya was expected to be sensible, but Sun Lifang told her directly, "You don't need to be sensible."
"I don't need an obedient and sensible daughter, as long as you are happy and healthy."
With Sun Lifang's guidance, Zhou Xinya finally realized the problem—
"Mom, I made a mistake too, didn't I?"
Intentionally ignoring friends, arrogant and irresponsible.
Zhou Xinya is actually a very smart child. After confirming that her mother loves her and is doing it for her own good, she immediately noticed the problem.
but--
How can we overcome the ever-present vanity?
Feeling superior, they become unwilling to be compatible with those below them and wait for the next generation to follow.
In response, Sun Lifang told her daughter, "Take it slow. The other person may have something that you don't."
Every child has their own strengths. Sun Lifang encourages her daughter to look at other people's strengths and learn to appreciate them.
A person's growth has a cycle, and Sun Lifang does not intend to force growth or spout profound philosophical principles.
"Mom wants you to be happy."
No need to say too much, just this one sentence is enough.
Use emotions to resolve emotions.
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