Chapter 20 Self-blame



Even at this point, Lu Hua was still thinking about her good friend Kong Xiang.

Sun Lifang was both amused and exasperated, and had to admit that she envied Kong Xiang for having such a good sister.

“Okay.” Sun Lifang wrote down the number for her and instructed, “Just let me know if she contacts you.”

After Sun Lifang's analysis, Lu Hua understood that Li Jian would no longer vouch for Kong Xiang.

Without guarantees, there's no chance of family ruin and death in the future.

But she couldn't say any of these things.

.

Zhou Xinya finished her homework exceptionally quickly today. She moved a table to the balcony, where she could see the road below.

Thus, the door opened before Sun Lifang even knocked.

"What's wrong? Did you do something naughty at home?" Sun Lifang asked, feigning seriousness.

“No way.” Zhou Xinya pulled her forward, turning back to emphasize, “If you don’t believe me, ask Aunt Mei.”

"Is that so, Aunt Mei?"

Jiang Meimei heard someone calling her and answered from the kitchen, "Yes."

Sun Lifang smiled and sat down on the sofa as her daughter instructed. Upon looking at it, she exclaimed, "Oh, I see!"

Even though she couldn't watch TV, Zhou Xinya didn't stay idle.

I took a piece of cardstock and drew a family portrait.

Perhaps this is how children's drawings are, because my daughter kept urging her, "Is it pretty? Is it exactly the same?"

Sun Lifang took a closer look.

Wow! A hexagonal face, two exaggeratedly spiky pigtails, and rosy cheeks—goodness, you can't say they're completely unrelated, you can only say they're exactly the same.

Sun Lifang nodded for a while, then noticed a stick figure-like creature in the corner of the picture.

"This is my little brother!" Zhou Xinya proudly introduced. "I can't draw him lying down yet, I'll try next time."

"Oh, oh." Sun Lifang couldn't help but laugh, and subconsciously touched her belly.

Jiang Meimei had finished cooking.

The four dishes and one soup were very clean and looked appetizing, which pleased Sun Lifang.

Jiang Meimei came over and saw them discussing, so she added, "I'm just idling around anyway, how about I make some children's clothes?"

Sun Lifang thought about it. Xiao Bao wouldn't be born until after spring. She couldn't let Jiang Meimei down. Since she was willing to spend this time, she couldn't refuse.

"sure."

After Sun Lifang finished speaking, Jiang Meimei was indeed very happy and excitedly asked again, "Is the baby a boy or a girl? Has an ultrasound been done?"

Jiang Meimei had no idea whether she meant to embroider a little tiger or embroider flowers; she was completely unaware of what Sun Lifang was thinking at that moment.

"What do kids know? As long as they're comfortable, that's all that matters," Sun Lifang said with a smile, dismissing the question.

She didn't get an ultrasound, even though her mother-in-law called several times and relatives from her hometown subtly inquired about it, she didn't say anything.

No one knew the baby's gender better than her.

In her previous life, Sun Lifang first told her mother the news, and her mother immediately told her to have an abortion, but Sun Lifang couldn't bear to.

Unable to find a solution, and under the brainwashing of her parents, Sun Lifang drank the "gender-changing medicine" brought by her mother.

They claimed it could change the child's gender. To this day, Sun Lifang still remembers the pain of the child leaving her body, a double torment of psychological and physical suffering.

Her health was already poor, and the D&C procedure wasn't done properly, leading to repeated recurrences of inflammation.

All Sun Lifang remembered was that it was a daughter; she didn't dare to look.

I heard that the machine first crushes the contents inside, and then uses tweezers to pick them out piece by piece. This cruel thing was actually what Sun Lifang experienced in her previous life.

Even if she can't have a son in this lifetime, Sun Lifang will never drink "gender-changing drugs".

She still remembered the first time Zhou Yunshi lost his temper with her, and the first time she had ever seen her husband lose his temper. The miscarried child became a taboo subject in their family, and no one could talk about it.

A rift developed between the couple, and Sun Lifang tried her best to mend it. Fortunately, through a friend's introduction, they underwent in vitro fertilization, which led to the birth of their twins.

"Madam's belly is pointed, it must be a boy," Jiang Meimei asked with a smile. "By the way, does Madam like to eat pickled vegetables?"

"Suanye" is what they call it in their area. They pickle the fruit and mix it with chili powder or plum powder. Sun Lifang knows a fellow patient who makes this, and to be honest, it's quite delicious.

“Men and women are the same.” Sun Lifang shook the water off her hands and said in a light voice, “Teach me how to make pickled vegetables sometime. I’m just killing time anyway.”

"Okay."

Jiang Meimei felt a little more at ease after the landlady agreed to her suggestion. She had never worked as a nanny before and didn't know how others did it. She was afraid of being disliked for being clumsy.

If you can win over the boss's wife, your job will be secure.

Zhou Yunshi's factory was busy, so Sun Lifang used to eat dinner with her daughter. Sometimes, when she was late talking about business, Zhou Xinya would eat alone.

Zhou Xinya's daughter had always wanted a sibling, so she was also looking forward to the baby in her belly.

However, she later miscarried, and by the time the twins conceived through IVF were able to walk, Zhou Xinya was already in junior high school, so naturally she had nothing to talk about with them.

Sun Lifang often complained to her: "You're not acting like an older sister anymore, and you don't take care of your younger siblings."

Zhou Xinya, who was going through a rebellious phase, argued with her: "What does it have to do with me? You wanted to have the baby, so you can have it or not, it's all up to you."

"Ridiculous, it's as if I've gained some benefit from it."

Sun Lifang was so angry she almost fell backward. Only later did she realize why Zhou Xinya had said that.

Having been an only child for over a decade, she should have been valued as the firstborn, but she didn't receive that right.

Later, she was made to fulfill the duties of an older sister. It's unfair that someone who has no rights is made to fulfill obligations.

By the time Sun Lifang realized this, her daughter had already been admitted to university and was like a bird released from its cage, impossible to control anymore.

My dear reader, there's more to this chapter! Please click the next page to continue reading—even more exciting content awaits!

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