It's like you've seen all your relatives, inside and out, during the Chinese New Year. "Even those you don't see, they won't forget you."
This was said by Sister Miao.
Sister Miao had already lived a life of ease, but she never expected that she would have to give red envelopes to her relatives and younger generations during the Chinese New Year. Relatives who were not closely related to her and whom she only saw once a year came to visit, but Sister Miao refused them.
"I'm at my host's house, it's inconvenient for me." I urged my relative to go back several times, but they had already arrived with big bags and small packages, saying that it was not easy for them to come all the way by long-distance bus.
Out of consideration for her feelings, Sister Miao could only arrange to meet at a place outside the city.
I asked Sun Lifang for leave, and when I came back, I just sat on the sofa in a daze.
Seeing this, Sun Lifang figured out what was going on and asked her, "How much money did you give them?"
My nephews and nieces from my maternal family brought a few younger relatives with them, and the total cost was two thousand yuan.
"Where would we get so much?" Sun Lifang exclaimed in surprise. "You're being way too easygoing!"
I was too lenient; they took two thousand after just a few words.
It's so easy for them to come and freeload; no wonder Sister Miao can't save any money.
"No, it's because my cousin from my hometown died, and we have to pay for the funeral and New Year's gifts for several elders."
"It's a gift of money, two or three hundred per person, which adds up to two or three thousand."
Sister Miao was willing to give them money because people said, "If you don't maintain good relationships with your relatives, they won't even burn paper money for you when you die."
So, Sun Lifang laughed when she heard this, "Did you give them the money in advance and burn it as paper money to save it?"
People of different ages value different things. For someone like Sister Miao, who is over fifty, she thinks about family ties and "what happens after she dies."
She was willing to spend money on this vague "promise," and Sister Miao spent nearly 10,000 yuan a year on social obligations.
If we translate that into later generations, spending 100,000 yuan a year on social obligations would be considered excessive filial piety.
It's hard to explain, but Sister Miao doesn't seem to be feeling well either.
Who would feel good in that situation? They only make a few phone calls a year, and every time they call, it's to ask for money.
But what my relative said is right. Being too selfish makes it hard to build relationships. Who will collect my body when I die? Who will burn paper money for me?
Caught in a dilemma, Sister Miao was in great pain.
Sun Lifang paid Miao Jie a salary of 2,000 yuan a month, with extra bonuses for working on holidays. If she didn't have to spend any money, she could save around 30,000 yuan a year with room and board included.
But her relatives back home didn't have to do anything; they got away with swindling 10,000 yuan without lifting a finger, exploiting Miao's biggest fear.
It can be summarized as "selling anxiety," and Sister Miao, who is anxious, is now extremely conflicted.
She asked Sun Lifang, "Madam, don't you ever consider personal relationships?"
During the Lunar New Year, you'll definitely have to visit all your extended family members, right? At Sister Miao's age, she also needs to contribute some money to support her elders and her parents' siblings.
Whether it's repairing a grave and carving a tombstone, it costs money; or if someone gets sick or paralyzed and goes to the hospital, the younger generation has to share the medical expenses.
“There aren’t many rich people in the countryside. Do you think I can just watch them die?” Sister Miao said to Sun Lifang. “Their sons and daughters can’t even make a living themselves, how can they take care of their old age?”
People the same age as Sister Miao are either taking care of their grandchildren or farming at home without any income.
How can we afford the medical expenses for our parents who are in their seventies or eighties?
So at this time, they would all come to Sister Miao for help.
"Oh wow, didn't you say you had a lot of children?" In Sister Miao's generation, it was common for a family to have at least five children, and seven, eight or nine were common.
Seven, eight, or nine people can't afford to support one elderly person, so they've come to Sister Miao's aid?
Therefore, what's the use of having many children? None of them are useful.
Sun Lifang suddenly realized that in later generations, the three-child policy had been implemented, and experts were advocating that "children are wealth, and having more children will always result in one useful one."
Damn it, are you playing a scratch-off lottery ticket?
They pin their hopes for survival on their children, unable to provide them with a good living environment or educational resources, yet praying that one day they will achieve great success and provide themselves with a high-quality life in their old age.
That's what Sister Miao's parents thought, but as a result, the children were all struggling to take care of themselves, and all they needed was a meal from the elderly. "Isn't that how all the elderly in the countryside live? Don't ask for too much."
Does this sentence sound familiar?
Isn't this just like what your parents said to you when you were a kid, "Which family's child can afford to go to school? Compared to others, your mother doesn't have that ability—"
"If you want to be someone else's child, go and recognize other people's parents, and see if they'll want you!"
Fortune's wheel turns, and now it's our turn.
Sister Miao still has four of her elders alive. She told Sun Lifang, "It's not that I'm soft-hearted, it's that I can't watch them die—"
"Several men have already committed suicide by drinking poison or hanging themselves after arguing with their sons and daughters-in-law."
Although it seems like a lot, when it comes down to each elderly person, a thousand yuan a year, or two or three yuan a day, isn't actually that much.
Sister Miao is too kind. The big city opened up a new world for her, but her roots haven't changed.
She has a clear conscience and knows exactly what she did. When she gets old and can no longer work, she doesn't want any of those people's money. She just hopes that if she gets sick, someone will take her to the hospital.
With this small wish, she couldn't go against her kindness, so she could only suffer.
Sun Lifang couldn't persuade her—
Sister Miao isn't stupid; she knows a lot.
She is not only kind but also loves to worship Buddha, believing that there must be cause and effect and reincarnation in the world, and that even if there is no reward, it is still a form of spiritual practice.
"Oh my god, do all old people find a faith to believe in?"
Sun Lifang told Zhou Yunshi about Sister Miao's situation, saying, "I've realized that people need to exercise not only physically but also mentally—"
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