Such a passionate and energetic girl is a rare sight these days, and Sun Lifang is eager to see how she defies fate.
But in the end, she was still disappointed—
Haiyan learned that her daughter had borrowed money from Sun Lifang and, not wanting her daughter to bear a huge debt, drank paraquat in bed and poisoned herself to death.
"I don't know where she got it from. When I came back, Mom hadn't eaten the fried egg noodles on the chair by the bed."
The white noodles, bulging and mushy, had soaked up all the broth and clumped together. The woman on the bed was lying on her side, covered by the blanket, her face hidden.
At first, Su Tao thought her mother was sleepy.
By the time she realized something was wrong, her mother was already dead, and there was a bottle of paraquat in the blanket.
With no hope of recovery, Haiyan showed her daughter through her actions, "I don't want you to be burdened with debt. What if you die before your illness can be cured, and you're left with nothing but a huge debt?"
This is something Haiyan often said after her daughter discovered her illness and she prepared to borrow money.
"No, no, cancer is incurable. God has only allowed me to live this long, so don't make things difficult for me."
Or they might say, "Fine, fine, lend it to us. Nobody else is going to lend us money anyway. Just focus on your studies, and Mom will spend time with you. Isn't that enough?"
Haiyan didn't believe anyone would lend them money, so she had an exceptionally open mind.
Thinking that I'll live a few more years, then I'll have lived enough, all my wishes will be fulfilled, and then I can die.
Unexpectedly, her daughter secretly called Sun Lifang in Shanghai and borrowed such a large sum of money.
She knew her daughter's temper.
So, having no other choice, she asked her daughter to cook her a bowl of egg noodles, and then told her, "Mom is a little sleepy. When the noodles are cooked, just leave them to cool down, and I'll eat them when I wake up."
That's just childish behavior, Su Tao was happy that her mother had come to terms with it.
But when she finished cooking the noodles and came back from evening self-study, the noodles were still the same, but the person in bed was no longer the same.
Standing at the door, a chill ran up from below, making Su Tao's scalp tingle and half of her face stiffen.
Mom wouldn't lie down for so long. Every time she came back from evening self-study, Mom would sit up and greet her with a smile, asking if she was tired and if she had finished her homework, and patting her head.
But this time, nothing happened.
Mom didn't get to eat the noodles she cooked herself, but she did add two eggs.
Lifting the blanket, Su Tao saw the bottle in her mother's arms and didn't know whether to cry or laugh.
She lost everything that propelled her forward, her most cherished hope, and the home she had left behind.
After Haiyan passed away, Su Tao made a phone call to Sun Lifang.
She said, "Auntie, is it because God envies me for being so happy?"
Although she was poor, she had a very gentle and kind mother, and a pair of lovely and sensible younger siblings.
They snuggled together, dreaming about where they would take their mother when they grew up.
"Having had enough of the suffering caused by men, I think she can finally enjoy the blessings of having children."
Unfortunately, she didn't have that blessing in the end and took her own life.
After her mother's death, Su Tao suddenly lost her sense of direction.
Sitting on the rooftop, with the wind howling, she asked Sun Lifang, "Tell me, what would have happened if my mother hadn't remarried?"
She doesn't remarry, or if she does, she doesn't care about skin, appearance, or looks; she just wants to find someone who truly treats her well.
They, mother and daughter, should be much happier now than they are now, right?
Su Tao was unaware that she was looking down into the dark gap below, where a faint streetlamp stood with its arms outstretched.
Like a swan, she tiptoed, hooked her left foot, and raised her hands, dancing a ballet pose that her mother had never seen before.
Rotate, and rotate again.
At the end of the phone call, Sun Lifang could only hear the sound of the wind.
A few hours later, she heard the sound of an ambulance and someone picked up their phone.
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