I am a monster
If you don't understand the word "despair," you can come and walk through the Hall of Supreme Harmony. I guarantee that no matter how fearless you are, you will lose all hope.
She was dragged from the palace gate to the center of the main hall, feeling a utter disgust that completely upended her worldview. The smell of blood seemed to merge with her own, and her stomach churned. Yet, she still arrogantly raised her head, wanting to get a good look at the cold, almost eerie face of the person sitting in the high position.
The flickering candlelight in the grand hall at night cast overlapping shadows, blurring her vision and blurring her senses. The crowd surrounding her looked like man-eating demons, their faces becoming utterly terrifying.
If Xiao Diting still doesn't understand what's going on after all this commotion, then all her more than twenty years of living a life of constant danger have been for nothing.
She took over the draft grain bill, and Pei Wenjin was punished with confinement and salary cuts. As the person in charge, she naturally had to get a beating and be sent away as well.
The fact that the emperor could tacitly approve of such a thing shows that he is capable of anything... It's a shame that before this incident happened, she naively thought she still had a chance to catch her breath, and that she could slowly grow stronger and challenge the emperor.
But her plan completely failed, and she gritted her teeth in hatred.
Being taught a lesson so brutally is not a pleasant feeling. The old emperor probably knew that this was extremely despicable, yet he chose to demonstrate his power in the middle of the night. It's a wonder he had the time to deal with her so thoroughly.
The peach wood sword cast an eerie red glow under the candlelight. The Imperial Preceptor chanted incantations, the obscure spells swirling in the empty Hall of Supreme Harmony, like countless cold insects burrowing into Xiao Diting's ears.
She was tightly bound to the dragon-carved pillar in the hall by thick hemp ropes. Her wrists and ankles were sore from the tightness of the ropes that fine beads of blood seeped from her skin. Every struggle only resulted in the ropes binding her more tightly.
"A demon has possessed him, causing chaos in the court. Today, we shall drive him out with the whip and cleanse him with blood!"
The Imperial Advisor suddenly shouted and threw the peach wood sword aside. The eunuch behind him immediately handed him a cowhide whip that had been soaked in salt water.
The whip flew high in the air and struck Xiao Diting's back with a "crack," instantly tearing the fabric. A burning pain shot through her spine, causing her to groan involuntarily.
"Father! Your son did not!"
She tilted her head back, her voice hoarse as she roared, her gaze fixed on the person on the dragon throne. But the emperor merely closed his eyes to rest, not even lifting an eyelid. Meanwhile, the crown prince stood to the side, a faint smile playing on his lips, his gaze elsewhere.
It was as if they were not besieging a living, breathing person, but rather a cat or dog at the mercy of others.
One lash, two lashes, three lashes...
The leather whip fell again and again, layer upon layer of bloodstains on his back, the warm blood soaking through his robes, until finally, the whip itself was stained a horrifying dark red.
Xiao Diting's consciousness gradually blurred, and she felt pain in every bone in her body, but she gritted her teeth and refused to utter a single cry of pain.
Even if the emperor were to take her life today, she would never bow down... Of course, it would be best if the emperor could also kill her in one go, otherwise, one day, she, Xiao Diting, would make this person pay for what she had done.
I want power!
I want supreme power!
This place is full of man-eating demons. Only by willingly throwing myself into this mess can I burn away this injustice with the fire of karma!
Her body was in so much pain that she was almost numb, but her consciousness was becoming clearer and clearer.
However, when Xiao Di heard that it was made of flesh and blood, just when she was about to give up, two eunuchs came over with a basin of black dog blood.
The strong, fishy stench assaulted her nostrils, making Xiao Diting's stomach churn. Just as she was about to turn her head away, someone forcefully pressed down on the back of her head and shoved a rough ceramic bowl into her mouth.
!!
Warm black dog blood poured down her throat, carrying a rusty, fishy smell that made her cough violently. She vomited up all the blood she had just swallowed, splattering her clothes all over her chest.
"Drink it! This is the blood of the demon-suppressing her; only by drinking it will you regain your senses!" the eunuch growled viciously, scooping up another bowl and pouring it into her mouth once more.
Xiao Diting struggled desperately, but her limbs were bound too tightly, and she could only watch helplessly as the disgusting liquid kept pouring in. The cramping pain in her stomach and the excruciating pain in her body intertwined, causing her vision to go black in waves. Finally, she completely lost her strength, her head tilted to the side, and she leaned against the dragon pillar, only able to breathe weakly.
"Your Majesty, the evil spirit has been temporarily suppressed, but the princess is weak and needs to rest." The Imperial Advisor stepped forward and bowed, his tone carrying a hint of seeking credit.
The emperor slowly opened his eyes, his gaze sweeping over the dying Xiao Diting on the ground. His tone was cold: "Carry her back to her bedchamber. Without my decree, no one is allowed to visit her."
Two eunuchs stepped forward, untied the ropes, and dragged Xiao Diting out of the Hall of Supreme Harmony like a dead dog.
The night wind blew against her back, which was covered in wounds, and the pain jolted her awake. However, she didn't even have the strength to lift her eyelids and could only let herself be dragged along, leaving a long trail of blood on the cold palace path.
When the door to the sleeping quarters was pushed open, Chunyan was anxiously waiting at the door. When she saw Xiao Diting being carried back, she was so frightened that she burst into tears.
She rushed forward, trembling as she touched Xiao Diting's face, only to find it icy cold. The blood-stained clothes on his back were already stuck to his wounds, a shocking sight.
"Your Highness! Your Highness, what's wrong?!" Chunyan cried as she called to the maid to prepare hot water and medicine for her injuries.
She carefully carried Xiao Diting into the bathtub. As soon as the warm water touched the wound, Xiao Diting winced in pain, but still did not open his eyes.
Chunyan took a cloth and gently wiped the bloodstains off her body. Tears fell into the water, creating tiny ripples.
"Your Highness, didn't you make great contributions in Huaizhou? How could His Majesty treat you like this..." Chunyan choked as she spoke, raising and lowering her hand to wipe her body. In the end, she couldn't help but turn her face away, cover her mouth, and cry softly.
Xiao Diting slowly opened his eyes, staring blankly at the steam above the bathtub. A hoarse sound came from his throat, like he was laughing or crying at the same time: "I don't know."
"Chunyan, I really don't know..."
She thought she was a meritorious official and that she could get some breathing room with her achievements in Huaizhou. However, she did not expect that in the face of imperial power, so-called merits were nothing more than pawns that could be discarded at any time.
She should have realized long ago that she was, in the end, a powerless and useless princess. When the emperor was in a good mood, she was a mascot; when the emperor was in a bad mood, she was a scapegoat.
Being born into an imperial family often leads to utter despair.
That night, Xiao Diting sat in the bathtub until the water cooled completely before Chunyan helped him to bed.
Chunyan applied medicine to her wounds and bandaged them, but she was wide awake, staring at the bed curtains until the sky began to lighten. Only then did she slowly get up and have Chunyan find her the simplest clothes to change into.
"Your Highness, where are you going? You're still injured!" Chunyan said worriedly, grabbing her arm.
Xiao Diting shook his head, his tone calm yet cold and unyielding: "I want to leave the palace."
She underestimated the emperor's methods, and she paid the price for her arrogance.
But she doesn't regret it; now, she has to make a decision herself.
Now that she has power and influence, very few people are still willing to help her. Last night's events will surely spread. Those who want to help will understand the Emperor's intentions; very few will actually be able to assist her.
Only Pei Wenjin might be able to give her an answer, or perhaps give her the strength to keep going.
The morning court bells echoed through the palace. Xiao Diting evaded the patrolling guards and quietly slipped out of the palace through a side gate.
The snow on the street had not yet melted, and the cold wind whipped snowflakes against her face, but it made her more awake.
She hired a carriage and headed straight for the Pei residence. But as soon as she arrived at the gate, she suddenly felt a slight urge to turn back.
Pei Wenjin disobeyed the emperor's order and went to Huaizhou. The emperor has already punished him publicly, but will he still trust him after this? Will the emperor still allow him to enjoy a life of luxury and respectability in secret?
If Pei Wenjin chooses to protect himself at this moment, he can't blame him.
Ultimately, he was the emperor's man, a powerful minister with ambitions.
Her enthusiasm had been dampened by someone's harsh words, and without thinking things through, she arrived here with her mind in a jumbled mess. The cold wind along the way brought her back to her senses somewhat.
Now she was at someone's doorstep, unsure whether to go in or out. Just as she was pursing her lips and twisting her fingers in distress, she saw the vermilion door slowly open, and Pei Wenjin, dressed in a black casual suit, stood at the door, his gaze fixed on the direction she had come from.
His face was still somewhat pale, presumably because the injury from being forced to kneel that day had not yet healed, but his eyes were exceptionally bright, as if he already knew she would come.
Xiao Diting looked at him, and the strength she had been putting on instantly collapsed. Her eyes stung, and she quickly turned her face away, but tears still welled up uncontrollably.
All the humiliation, pain, and despair she had endured along the way turned into resentment the moment she saw him, choking her and preventing her from uttering a complete sentence.
Seeing her in a daze, Pei Wenjin, holding the hot water bottle, raised his chin and said, "I invite Your Highness to come and have a chat."
He squinted, and the first impression he gave was one of arrogance and haughtiness, just like the day we first met at the octagonal pavilion, when he stood in the rain, looking at us from afar.
But Xiao Diting only felt relieved. Her back was aching terribly, and she could barely take two steps. She stumbled and scrambled forward. When she got there, she was a little embarrassed.
Pei Wenjin reached out his hand to her, and this time Xiao Diting did not refuse. She came closer to him, and Pei Wenjin placed the hot water bottle in her hand. He knew she was still injured, so he gently supported her arm and led her inside.
"Were you waiting here so early in the morning?" Xiao Diting sniffed, his eyes stinging with tears.
Pei Wenjin gave a faint "hmm": "When Brother Pingzhang came to the palace yesterday, I knew something was going to happen... but I didn't expect His Majesty to be so impatient now."
There was no point in hiding it now. He led Xiao Diting to a side room, which was well-lit and contained a daybed and a small table.
"Didn't sleep all night?" Pei Wenjin could tell from the dark circles under her eyes that she hadn't slept well. He carefully led her to the bedside and instructed her, "Get some sleep."
Upon smelling the familiar calming incense in the room, Xiao Di's still-shaken heart leaped into his throat.
She sat on the edge of the tatami mat, clutching Pei Wenjin's sleeve like a restless lamb: "And you, where are you going?"
"Can you stay and keep me company?"
Her voice was hoarse, and her humble tone made it hard for anyone to refuse.
Pei Wenjin was no exception.
Pei Wenjin tried to avoid touching the princess's back injury, reaching out to pull her into his arms. His heart softened, and he said kindly, "I have some personal matters to attend to. I'll come over when I'm done."
"no--"
Lord Pei had no experience in coaxing people and didn't know what to do with her for a moment. Touching her head and rubbing her face were tricks for coaxing children and didn't work for Princess Hong.
He looked down at Xiao Diting's slightly furrowed brows and unhappy face, and a thought struck him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. This trick worked better than anything else, and Xiao Diting really didn't move.
"It only takes the time it takes for two incense sticks to burn."
She turned her face away and said in a muffled voice, "You have to keep your word."
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