Chapter 19 "Sanlang, when we have a child, you..."
Ling Zhenli wanted to stay a little longer to watch Pei Xuanlin's polo match against the Tubo, but the pain in her hand forced her to find a bedroom to rest.
The early summer breeze, carrying the fragrance of flowers, swept into the palace. Ling Zhenli leaned against the soft couch, not daring to touch the tiger's mouth (the area between her thumb and forefinger), and could only gently massage the red and swollen wound on her wrist with her fingertips.
"I heard you injured your hand in the polo match."
The beaded curtain rustled softly, and Xue Haoting was already standing in the hall.
Today, his dark purple robe made him look like a pine tree, but his eyes held a hint of frivolity, making him appear even more dashing than usual.
"What are you doing here?"
Ling Zhenli glanced away, deliberately avoiding looking at him. Just as she was about to get up, Xue Haoting stepped forward and grabbed her arm without saying a word.
She struggled, and Xue Haoting, seeing that she was in pain, let go of her.
He chuckled softly and took out a small celadon bottle from his sleeve: "I'm bringing you medicine. How can the medicine from the Imperial Hospital compare to that from the Prime Minister's residence?"
He dipped his fingertips in the ointment and gently swirled it around her wrist, then removed the bandage and prepared to apply the medicine.
The ointment was cool, but his fingertips were warm. The interplay of ice and fire made Ling Zhenli involuntarily tense up.
"Did I hurt you?" Xue Haoting noticed and softened his touch with his fingertips.
"No," Ling Zhenli pouted. "It's actually quite comfortable."
The medicine in the Prime Minister's residence is better than that in the palace? Isn't that overstepping one's bounds?
"You're feeling good now? How did you get this injury? You can hurt yourself playing polo." He suddenly leaned down, his breath brushing against her ear.
Ling Zhenli's heart skipped a beat.
Although his words were blunt, his tone clearly showed his concern.
Back in the Prime Minister's residence, she was always tormented and abused by Xue Haoting. When has he ever been so kind to her? Now that he's so gentle, she feels a little unaccustomed to it.
“It was Princess Roujia who insisted on playing polo with me. If I didn’t agree, she would keep pestering me, so I simply gave in to her wish.”
Ling Zhenli couldn't swallow her anger until she felt better, and she didn't realize she had suffered a loss even though she was injured as a result.
"She's probably jealous of you. As far as I know, Xiao Chongheng and she dislike each other. Most likely, his heart still belongs to you. It seems you hold a significant place in Xiao Chongheng's heart," Xue Haoting teased.
“I have absolutely no connection with him anymore,” Ling Zhenli said stubbornly.
"But this Pei Chanlian really thinks she's something special, daring to bully you like that. If you could slap her with the same force you used to hit me, she'd behave herself."
"She is a princess, how could I hit her?"
"When our grandfather, the Duke of Zhao, passed away, Emperor Gaozong carried his coffin; when our maternal grandfather, the Duke of Liang, passed away, Emperor Wen carried his coffin. Our uncles were ennobled and our fathers became prime ministers. This princess you mentioned even kowtowed before her maternal grandfather's coffin to show her loyalty to Emperor Wen. What are you afraid of her for?"
Ling Zhenli was speechless. She wasn't the real Xue Yingyue; where would she get that innate confidence?
"What are you saying! Ouch, ouch... Be gentle, you're hurting me."
"Alright, alright, be gentle. Such a big wound, and you didn't even put ice on it afterwards. Now it's all swollen. How did the Crown Prince take care of you?"
As Xue Haoting complained, Ling Zhenli tilted her head and saw the ice he had brought.
She smiled smugly, "Isn't it because you're taking care of me?"
As soon as he finished speaking, both of them were stunned.
Three seconds later, Xue Haoting broke the silence and hummed in agreement.
"...It wasn't that the Crown Prince didn't take care of me. At the time, I thought everything was fine, so I didn't ask the palace servants to get ice."
"You're injured, yet he still has the mind to play polo with the Tibetans," Xue Haoting said, displeased.
"After all, it's about the face of our dynasty."
"Since Pei Xuanlin personally beheaded Emperor Wen and then abdicated the throne to the weak and incompetent Emperor Jin, our dynasty has lost all face." Xue Haoting laughed.
"..."
Ling Zhenli was politically naive and did not understand what Xue Haoting meant.
Seeing that she didn't understand, Xue Haoting glossed over the matter with a few words: "The current emperor is easily swayed, and Pei Xuanlin has an iron fist. It's feasible to use both soft and hard tactics in the court, but Your Majesty is too indecisive and not fit to be an emperor."
Ling Zhenli understood a little bit.
"How can you and I discuss His Majesty? This is a capital offense."
"Isn't it just the two of us?"
Xue Haoting changed her dressing and rewrapped it with new gauze.
"I did help you with what you asked me to do, so how are you going to compensate me?"
"Let's talk about it after I'm healed." We can delay as long as we can.
“That’s fine, there’s no rush.” Xue Haoting smiled.
Ling Zhenli couldn't find anything to say for a moment, and the two of them remained silent. The only sound was the sound of Xue Haoting wrapping the gauze around her.
A rustling sound.
After a long silence, Xue Haoting lowered his eyes and took the initiative to bring up Xiao Chongheng:
"Xiao Chongheng must be pestering you now."
"Um."
Mentioning Xiao Chongheng makes Ling Zhenli's heart ache as if it were being cut by a knife.
"Everyone in the capital knew that he was obsessed with a courtesan at the Drunken Immortal Pavilion to the point of madness. He would give her gifts bestowed by the emperor without batting an eye, and even gave her a Persian cat, but in the end he abandoned her."
"..."
“I know that, which is why I went to find you.”
Ling Zhenli raised her head, stared at Xue Haoting, and immediately realized what was happening.
"So you already knew who I was, and you only went to Zuixianlou because I had been with Xiao Chongheng?"
"..." Now it was Xue Haoting's turn to not know how to answer.
We're doomed.
"Didn't you say you bought me because I look like your sister?" Ling Zhenli said angrily.
"Doesn't it look like it?"
Does it look like it?
"Hmm, doesn't seem like it."
"Get lost, you scoundrel."
Ling Zhenli couldn't control her anger and shoved Xue Haoting hard with her injured hand, causing the wound that had just stopped bleeding to reopen and bleed again.
"Alright, all that work for nothing." Xue Haoting rolled his eyes at her.
Despite the pain in her hand, Ling Zhenli was furious: "Haven't you always treated me as a substitute for your sister?!"
"I can still tell you apart from my sister."
"you!"
Despite her anger, she didn't refuse when Xue Haoting knelt down to change her bandages.
“In the past, I didn’t have any woman I loved, only my younger sister Xue Run. I think I might have confused familial affection with romantic love without even realizing it myself. I only had impure thoughts about you, so I’m only now realizing it… Also, having you pretend to be my sister was just me teasing you to satisfy my own desires, it wasn’t real…”
"elder brother."
Ling Zhenli suddenly called out to Xue Haoting, stopping him from saying the apology he was about to say.
She doesn't need Xue Haoting to apologize, because she will not forgive him.
"You don't need to call me brother."
"elder brother."
Ling Zhenli's eyes were firm, still reminding him of their current status, as if their earlier playful teasing had never happened before.
"Now that we've laid our cards on the table, it's even better that you only have brotherly and sisterly feelings for me."
When she said this, Ling Zhenli completely put herself in Xue Yingyue's position.
"I see."
Xue Haoting lowered his eyes, having just finished bandaging her.
"You get some rest, I'm going out."
"Remember to close the door properly."
Ling Zhenli was upset by his words and didn't want to see him now.
As she wished, Xue Haoting gave her peace and quiet.
Ling Zhenli felt exhausted and lay back down on the bed, pondering what Xue Haoting had just said.
Is he saying these things to me because he feels guilty...? Does he think he treated her too badly before and now wants to repent? When Xue Haoting made her pretend to be Xue Yingyue to torment her, he didn't consider her feelings at all.
In short, she will never forgive Xue Haoting. She will always remember his past insults and beatings and will take revenge on him in the future.
***
After returning to the East Palace and having dinner, when it was time for bed, Pei Xuanlin took Ling Zhenli's hand and examined her closely.
Moonlight streamed through the window, and a gentle breeze caused the candle to flicker, casting dappled shadows on her wrist.
"Does it still hurt?" Pei Xuanlin lowered his head and gently kissed her wrist.
Ling Zhenli's fingertips trembled slightly, a hint of shyness in her voice: "The injury isn't particularly serious; it will heal in a few days."
Pei Xuanlin chuckled, his fingertips tracing the redness and swelling on her wrist. "Isn't this serious? Look how badly you're injured. Your wrist is all swollen. It's my fault for not taking good care of you."
Just as Ling Zhenli was about to speak, he pulled her into his arms again.
Pei Xuanlin's lips brushed against her earlobe, his voice so low it was almost inaudible: "I heard my brother-in-law went to see you. Did he blame me for not taking good care of you?"
"My brother just felt sorry for me."
Ling Zhenli softened her heart and spoke kindly to Xue Haoting, but immediately regretted it.
"On the way to find you after today's great victory over the Tibetans, many people were talking about Jin'an and Yang Chengxiu." Pei Xuanlin pinched Ling Zhenli's cheek and said softly with a smile, "Was it you who did it?"
"Does Sanlang mean to punish me for failing to properly manage the servants?" Ling Zhenli asked softly, snuggling into Pei Xuanlin's arms.
Pei Xuanlin was completely under her thumb.
"How could I bear to punish you, you rascal?"
Ling Zhenli nestled in Pei Xuanlin's arms, her bright eyes fixed on him. Then, her gaze flickered, "Then... will His Majesty and the Empress punish Princess Jin'an?"
"Not necessarily." Pei Xuanlin shook his head with a smile.
"What? Why?"
Ling Zhenli looked at Pei Xuanlin with displeasure and a hint of anger between her brows, hoping he would tell her why.
She had her maids spread the scandal about Princess Jin'an throughout the capital, hoping to cause her to lose the Emperor and Empress's favor. If she got nothing, she would feel extremely frustrated.
"I don't know." Pei Xuanlin didn't answer her question directly.
He seemed to have some unspeakable secret, so Ling Zhenli didn't ask any further.
After a few seconds, Pei Xuanlin suddenly said, "You are spoiled and arrogant. Jin An can easily guess that you were the one who leaked the information. You should always be wary of others. Try to stay home as much as possible recently and wait until this period of time passes."
"So, does this mean I've confined myself to my room?" Ling Zhenli said unhappily.
How arrogant and crazy can a princess be? Does the Crown Princess need to be afraid of her? Besides, she is now known as Xue Yingyue. Even if the princess offends her, she should think twice about the Prime Minister's Mansion behind her.
“Not really…” Pei Xuanlin pondered for a moment, “It’s just that we need to minimize our encounters with Jin’an. A mother beast protecting her cubs can be quite frightening.”
...
Then she understood; she had also had children.
But he dared not let Pei Xuanlin know.
Thinking of this, Ling Zhenli hugged Pei Xuanlin even tighter, feeling his heartbeat, her feigned affection mixed with a hint of genuine feeling.
"Sanlang, when we have a child, you will protect him too, right?"
"Of course."
Pei Xuanlin noticed that Ling Zhenli was a little uneasy, so he gently patted her back to comfort her.
“My parents passed away early, and I didn’t get to enjoy their protection. When we have children in the future, I will definitely not let them suffer like I did.”
Hearing this, Ling Zhenli felt a pang of sadness. If the father of the child she lost was Pei Xuanlin, would the child have survived and stayed by her side...?
"Why are you crying?" Pei Xuanlin gently wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
"I'm afraid... afraid I won't be a good mother, I'm not ready..."
Ling Zhenli felt increasingly guilty towards Pei Xuanlin, and the more she thought about it, the more frightened and terrified she became. Pei Xuanlin was so good to her now, but if one day he found out about her past, he would definitely hate her, abandon her, or even be furious, thinking she was dirty and disgusting, and would order her to be executed...
Pei Xuanlin, unaware of her thoughts, was solely focused on appeasing her.
"No rush, three to five years is fine too. The court situation is unstable right now, and I don't have enough energy to teach you. You are still young, and giving birth is like going through the gates of hell. It doesn't matter if you don't have a child. At worst, we can adopt an outstanding member of the imperial clan, just like the current emperor. Don't worry, it's understandable for other positions to be vacant, but the throne is different. Even if someone occupies it, there will be people fighting tooth and nail to take it over. So there is no need to worry about no one to inherit the throne. Don't feel pressured."
In any case, there has been no crown prince who has successfully ascended the throne for many dynasties. Even if a child is born, one must be wary of ambitious children from the imperial clan.
Ling Zhenli was appeased by his words, nestled against his chest, played with his hair, and asked:
"Sanlang, your father and mother only had one child, so why are you called Sanlang?"
Pei Xuanlin thought for a moment and explained to her: "Emperor Wen disliked my mother, and by extension, he also disliked me. Shortly after I was born, I was adopted by the deceased Crown Prince Zhang Hui. Crown Prince Zhang Hui had two sons who died young, so I was the third child, and everyone called me Sanlang. After my father ascended the throne, he changed my name back, but by then everyone was used to calling me that and I was used to it, so I have been called Sanlang ever since."
On second thought, apart from the children born to Emperor Wen, the Pei family had few surviving children.
Besides himself, there is only the Crown Prince Duanhuai's son and daughter, the Prince of Shunyi and the Princess Roujia, plus the current Princess Jin'an.
If we're talking about adoption, it seems only the future child of the Prince of Shunyi could be mentioned. He currently holds a sinecure in the court, indulging in pleasure and engaging in corruption and bribery all day long. He has colluded with powerful figures to resolve many wrongful convictions. It is precisely because he and Princess Roujia are useless that they have been spared in the capital.
"Why was Emperor Wen so harsh on his own children and grandchildren?"
“Because she is the emperor.” Pei Xuanlin lowered his eyes and gave a self-deprecating smile. “She doesn’t see herself as a wife, a mother, or a grandmother, but as an emperor who holds the power of life and death and whose word is law. In her eyes, everyone is an ant. Those who obey will prosper, and those who defy will perish.”
"And what about you?"
Ling Zhenli suddenly poked her head out of his arms, got up, and asked, half coquettishly and half seriously.
"As for me... well, I won't be harsh on you or our child."
Pei Xuanlin was speaking from the heart, and Ling Zhenli was willing to believe him.
It's clear that while the emperors of the Pei family may have three thousand concubines in their harems, they all favor one woman above all others. Presumably, Pei Xuanlin, influenced by this upbringing, will not disappoint her.
Thinking this, Ling Zhenli lay back down beside him, and Pei Xuanlin naturally pulled her into his arms again...
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