Chapter 85 A heart-wrenching farewell between life and death, he experienced...
The Prime Minister's study was filled with a sense of impending doom and impending storm.
The heavy wooden doors were tightly shut, but they couldn't stop the rumors about the palace upheaval. The rumors spread like wildfire through the streets and alleys of Chang'an.
Xue Wenmian stood with his back to the door, hands clasped behind his back, in front of a huge map of the territory.
The setting sun cast shadows on his clothes, and the moment he learned of his children's rebellion, his heart, which had been hanging in suspense, finally settled.
Sooner or later, this day would come, and it has finally arrived.
The study door was suddenly pushed open, and Xue Haoting barged in, looking travel-worn and exuding a chilling murderous aura.
This time, Xue Haoting didn't bow; he called out directly to Xue Wenmian.
"Father, you've been staying indoors all night, but did you hear? A letter has arrived from the palace—my sister is dead!"
The news of his daughter's death pierced Xue Wenmian's heart once again, time and time again.
Xue Wenmian's figure swayed almost imperceptibly.
After a long while, a heavy sigh dissipated in the twilight, carrying endless weariness and desolation.
Xue Wenmian's voice was hoarse as he struggled to squeeze out from deep within his chest: "She has finally come to this. What has happened is truly a misfortune for our family."
"Father! This is not the time to say such things!" Xue Haoting stepped forward hastily, his eyes burning with the flames of revenge. "The defense of Chang'an is mostly in our hands. My sister died in the palace, at the hands of Pei Xuanlin. Father, please order Uncle to lead the troops back to the capital immediately and stage a coup within the Xue family. It will be too late if we wait any longer!"
Xue Wenmian lowered his eyes, clenching his teeth tightly. Things had happened too suddenly. How could Pei Xuanlin have killed Xue Yingyue? Had he reached his limit? This isn't right, this isn't right!
He's been strategizing his whole life; it's impossible. Nothing unexpected could happen. Pei Xuanlin wouldn't kill Xue Yingyue. Pei Xuanlin has already endured this much; does he really care that much about the imperial power being challenged?
Could it be that Xue Yingyue is truly less important to him than imperial power?
Why did he kill Xue Yingyue? Why? If he was going to kill her, why didn't he do it sooner? Why did he keep her alive until now?
Is it only now that she has been sentenced to death that they are trying to cleanse the Xue family?
How could this be? How could this be?
Just then, a faint sobbing sound came from outside the door.
Xue Wenmian turned around abruptly and saw Cui Yuerong leaning against the door frame, her face pale.
Her body swayed precariously, tears streaming down her face like a burst dam, one drop at a time. Her eyes, which had always held such pride, were now filled with boundless despair.
"Didn't I tell you to rest properly in your room?" Xue Wenmian's voice was filled with undisguised heartache. "Why did you come here? You know I didn't want you to know these things... What good would knowing these things do besides make you sad?"
"No matter how heartbroken I am, I need to know if my daughter is dead or alive..."
Cui Yuerong raised her tearful eyes, her voice broken and shattered. The grievances that had been building up for more than a decade, and the excruciating pain of regaining something only to lose it again in an instant, all erupted at this moment.
"My daughter is dead. I raised someone else's daughter for so many years. Xue Xianzhu, that heartless slut, we raised her for so many years, never shortchanging her in terms of food and clothing. And she actually went to the palace to help that dog emperor force my own daughter to her death. Ever since that slut Lu Ning, fearing things would get out of hand, told us the truth of what happened back then, I've been thinking every day about whether my Arun is doing well in the palace. It's so cold, I wonder if she's getting cold. But I didn't even have a chance to go to the palace to see her again, didn't have a chance to tell her that I really am her biological mother, didn't have a chance to make up for the sixteen years of love I owed her... and she died! Died in the palace, died at the hands of that dog emperor Pei Xuanlin!"
Xue Wenmian felt as if his heart was being torn apart as he watched her weep uncontrollably.
Cui Yuerong burst into tears, covering her face and sobbing uncontrollably.
"I've already lost her once, why does God have to make me lose her a second time... Run'er is the most important child, why does God have to make us lose Run'er... why Run'er..."
Xue Wenmian's heart was shattered by his wife's tearful accusations.
He knew perfectly well what Xue Run meant to this family and to Cui Yuerong.
Their eldest son, Xue Che, was an unexpected offspring born when they were young and naive, their understanding of love still immature. Xue Run, on the other hand, was proof of their true love and commitment after weathering many storms together. He was the purest and most precious crystallization of their love, a treasure they had longed for through countless days and nights of mutual support.
He strode forward, disregarding everything else, and pulled the emotionally distraught Cui Yuerong into a tight embrace.
Feeling his wife's cold, trembling body in his arms and hearing her heart-wrenching cries, Xue Wenmian's eyes also reddened, and his voice choked with sobs.
"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry," Xue Wenmian repeated over and over, filled with deep guilt and helplessness. "I made too many enemies, I wasn't careful enough back then, causing our daughter to be stranded outside, causing her to suffer so much. I'm useless, knowing full well that she was in a difficult situation in the palace, yet I didn't step in to protect her in time, it's all my fault..."
Xue Wenmian held Cui Yuerong tightly, as if only in this way could they draw some support from each other to resist the overwhelming grief.
Looking at his grief-stricken parents, Xue Haoting couldn't help but tear up. To him, Xue Yingyue was not only a younger sister, but also a lover etched into his very bones.
It is his blood relative, with whom he has been bound by the red thread of blood since the moment he was born.
He squeezed his eyes shut, forcibly suppressing the surging sorrow.
Xue Haoting took a deep breath and adjusted his voice.
"Father, Mother, my sister cannot have died in vain. If we do nothing to protect ourselves, how can we face her? Let's stage a coup, Father, for Arun's sake."
Xue Wenmian embraced Cui Yuerong, who was crying so hard she was almost exhausted, and looked up to meet Xue Haoting's gaze, which burned with the flames of revenge and the desire for power.
He saw the anger in his son's eyes and felt the grief of his wife in his arms.
Outside the window, the last ray of daylight was swallowed by twilight, and darkness descended.
After a long while, Xue Wenmian took a breath.
He gently patted Cui Yuerong's back, then looked up and nodded at Xue Haoting.
"Alright, I'll write a letter right now and have your uncle lead the troops back to the capital. Go ahead."
The weighty choices that could influence history were finally settled in this dimly lit study.
...
The imperial physician scrambled in under Pei Xuanlin's murderous gaze.
Before the imperial physician arrived, Pei Xuanlin covered Xue Yingyue's wound and carried her to the dragon throne to lie down. The carpet and tiles along this distance were covered with Xue Yingyue's gushing blood.
Seeing the horrific scene inside the palace, with blood everywhere and the Empress lying on the dragon throne on the verge of death, the imperial physicians were so frightened that their legs went weak and they knelt on the ground.
"What are you standing there for! Is she dead?! Quickly save her! If you can't save the Empress, I will have your entire Imperial Hospital and your entire family executed!"
Pei Xuanlin's voice was hoarse, and his eyes were like those of a dying beast, filled with madness.
The imperial physician rushed to the dragon throne, examined Xue Yingyue's injuries, and bandaged them.
Pei Xuanlin stared intently at his every move, his breath almost stopping.
Time passed slowly, and the atmosphere inside the hall became so oppressive that it was suffocating.
After a long while, the old physician wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, turned around, and reported back with a tone of relief.
"Your Majesty... Thank goodness, thank goodness!"
Upon hearing this, Pei Xuanlin's heart skipped a beat. He realized that the imperial physician's words might mean that Xue Yingyue could still live, and his previously lifeless eyes lit up again.
"Speak quickly! How is the Empress?!"
"Your Majesty's wound looks frightening, and there is a lot of blood, but because it was cut too quickly, it is far from the vital points. The reason why Your Majesty fainted is mostly due to excessive fright and blood loss, which weakens your body. Your life should be fine."
Pei Xuanlin was stunned; the contrast between his extreme joy and sorrow left him momentarily speechless.
"What...what did you say?"
He couldn't believe it and wanted the imperial physician to repeat it again to confirm that Xue Yingyue was still alive.
The imperial physician had no choice but to grit his teeth and repeat it to him again.
"Your Majesty, the Empress is not in mortal danger. When the Empress scratched her neck due to emotional distress, she did not injure any vital organs. This old minister has used the best wound medicine, stopped the bleeding, and bandaged it properly. She only needs to rest and recuperate for a period of time to fully recover."
"Enough with the nonsense, just tell me, is she not going to die?"
"Yes, Your Majesty, the Empress will not die," the imperial physician replied, bowing his head.
A deathly silence fell over the hall.
The despair and grief on Pei Xuanlin's face receded like the tide, replaced by an extreme sense of bewilderment, a feeling of absurdity that was both a relief and a laughable tragedy.
She won't die, thank goodness, she won't die.
Xue Yingyue is alive; nothing is more important than that.
He looked down at Xue Yingyue, who was pale and breathing weakly in his arms, then at the large, shocking pool of blood on the ground, and finally at his own blood-stained hands and clothes.
He suddenly understood.
He couldn't live without Xue Yingyue, he couldn't lose her. Everything he did to provoke her was too childish. She loved him, and he shouldn't question her anymore.
He couldn't bear to experience that earth-shattering farewell a second time.
No one else could shatter his spirit and make him realize that love and death are equally great.
This tragedy should come to an end.
A mixture of fear and relief welled up inside me, ultimately turning into a long, helpless sigh.
Pei Xuanlin slowly closed his eyes, holding the person in his arms even tighter, as if he wanted to meld her into his very bones.
He will never let go again, no matter what happens.
He was wrong; he was far from having the rationality and patience of Xue Yingyue.
He wanted to go back to the past with her immediately, back to the time when they were deeply in love and had unwavering trust.
But, having so resolutely chosen to die, would she still be willing to give him another chance?
...
Late at night, Xue Yingyue slowly woke up.
She struggled to open her heavy eyelids, and what came into view was the familiar bright yellow tent ceiling, with a faint medicinal fragrance lingering in the air.
And a handsome face etched with fatigue and worry.
It was Pei Xuanlin.
How could he be here? Why can she still see him? What's going on? Shouldn't she be dead?
The moment she regained consciousness, a sharp pain in her neck made her furrow her brow.
Why can she still feel pain?
Xue Yingyue opened her mouth, but her throat was so dry that she couldn't make a sound.
When Pei Xuanlin saw her wake up, his eyes lit up with surprise. He quickly reached out and gently stroked her pale forehead with his fingertips, wiping away the cold sweat on her brow.
"You're awake?" Pei Xuanlin's voice was hoarse and tired.
Xue Yingyue turned her head and saw Pei Xuanlin sitting by the bed. He himself was ill and weak, but he had a gentle smile on his face.
She slowly raised her empty eyes, her pale face like a jade carving covered in dust, and asked with a sorrowful expression.
"Is this the Heavenly Palace?"
Her voice was ethereal, as if her body no longer contained a soul, but was merely a breathing skeleton.
Pei Xuanlin smiled, reached out and stroked her forehead, his fingertips carrying a warm temperature: "This is the palace, you are not dead."
Upon hearing his words, Xue Yingyue stared at him blankly, her pupils swirling with complex emotions.
After a long silence, she forced a bleak smile, her voice as soft as a sigh: "That's such a pity."
Every word was tinged with utter despair, as if the news of her being alive was the cruelest sentence imaginable.
Pei Xuanlin felt a pang of pain in his heart as he looked at the emptiness and numbness in her eyes. He shook his head, his tone filled with helplessness and doting affection.
"You're really not smart. You guessed wrong. You shouldn't have died."
Xue Yingyue looked at him in confusion, not understanding what he meant.
Pei Xuanlin looked deeply into her eyes and continued, his voice carrying an unprecedented solemnity.
“I said, you guessed wrong, you guessed wrong from beginning to end.”
He didn't explicitly say what she had guessed wrong.
Xue Yingyue was completely confused, not understanding what Pei Xuanlin was saying. Did he mean he was wrong and didn't know she was going to use rebellion to protest his betrayal, or was he wrong and she should use death to repay everything she owed him? Or perhaps both?
Pei Xuanlin knew that, given Xue Yingyue's current state and mental state, she might not immediately grasp the full meaning behind his words.
Some things are better left unsaid until she's better, and then we can find a more suitable time to tell her clearly and explicitly.
Xue Yingyue looked at Pei Xuan's face, which was so close to hers, at the complex and unfathomable emotions in his eyes, and at his gentle yet profound gaze, but she still couldn't understand it.
She felt very tired, her thoughts were chaotic, and her neck was also very sore.
Damn it, if she had known she wouldn't die, she wouldn't have cut herself, or she should have just stabbed herself in the back and killed herself. That would have been better than suffering like this, half-dead.
I regret it so much.
Xue Yingyue opened her mouth, about to say something, when Pei Xuanlin had already brought over a cup of warm water from the side, carefully lifted her up a little, and brought the rim of the cup to her lips.
"Don't think about it anymore. Drink some water and get some sleep. You've had a hard time these past few days."
The warm water soothed her parched throat, bringing some comfort. Listening to Pei Xuanlin's pointed words, Xue Yingyue's mind began to spin.
Having experienced so much in just a few days, she was utterly exhausted and had no energy left to cope. So, after obediently drinking a few sips of water, she closed her eyes weakly and fell into a deep sleep.
This time, her sleeping face was much more peaceful, no longer carrying that resolute deathly aura.
Pei Xuanlin sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at her sleeping face for a long time, his fingers gently tracing her neck wrapped in thick gauze, his eyes deep and unfathomable.
After this incident, he realized that nothing could stand between them. From beginning to end, he was the one who brought trouble upon himself. He clearly had Xue Yingyue's whole heart, but he just didn't know how to be content.
So one wrong step leads to a series of wrong steps.
But in any case, she is still alive.
As long as she is alive, it's not too late.
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