30 is OK (2)
Along the way, Jiang Yi was recalling what his home was like.
However, he had never paid much attention to it, so there was nothing memorable about it. It just seemed messy - a messy workbench, a messy sofa, a messy bed... Not that he wanted a bed.
It wasn't until Li Yaya stood at the door of the Jiang family that Jiang Yi finally reacted. Li Yaya followed him home. He was a little nervous before opening the door. He inserted the key into the lock but didn't turn it. He turned sideways to look at Li Yaya who was standing beside him. She looked calm.
"Bean Sprout, my house might be a little messy. But don't worry, it's just messy, not dirty. I live alone and no one comes over, so I'm too lazy to clean up. Don't be surprised by what you see later, okay?"
"good."
The key turned, the door opened, the door was pushed open, the light was turned on, and Jiang Yi's home appeared in front of Li Yaya.
At first glance, it wasn't that messy. Li Yaya remembered not to judge other people's lives casually. Everyone has their own life patterns.
Jiang Yi asked Li Yaya to sit wherever she wanted.
But Jiang Yi's blanket was still piled on the sofa. It was a thick blanket. It was really hard to sit down.
Jiang Yi quickly put away his things and said, "Well, I sometimes sleep on the sofa, so it looks a little messy." His tone was full of embarrassment.
The sofa was quite spacious after being tidied, and two people could sit in one corner each.
The atmosphere was a little awkward, and I didn't know how to start the conversation.
"Do you want some water?" After all, they were at Jiang Yi's house, so they had to say something to ease the tension.
"Ah? There's no need to go through so much trouble."
"No trouble, no trouble." As he said this, he took out two bottles of mineral water from the side of the sofa.
It’s indeed not a big deal. Li Yaya thought he had to boil water.
I took a small sip to moisten my throat, then clenched the bottle tightly with my nervous hands. Some words require courage to be spoken.
Just when Jiang Yi thought that Li Yaya was nervous and didn't know what to say, Li Yaya's voice appeared in his ears, softly, as if telling someone else's story.
"My mother died of illness when I was very young. Apart from some yellowed photos, I have no memory of her. But Lee Kin Yan said that I look a lot like her. I don't think that not having a mother makes me any different from others. She just died of illness, not because she didn't love me. If possible, she would certainly want to watch me grow up in good health."
"My grandmother took care of me when I was very young. Li Jianren had to work and repay debts. Although our family wasn't well off, Li Jianren took good care of me. I had everything others had. I also had everything others didn't have. Later, the debts were finally paid off, and I started school. Later, Li Jianren saved up some money and bought a house in our small county town. It wasn't big, and the location wasn't great, but we finally had a home."
"Li Jianren always told me to study hard, get into a good university, and find a good job. I always felt like he was nagging me at the time. But I finally lived up to his expectations. Although my grades weren't outstanding, I still got into university and went to Haicheng. I thought to myself, if I get into university, in four years, I'll be able to work, and Li Jianren won't have to work so hard anymore. I'll make a lot of money, buy him a big house, and take him to see how beautiful the world is."
"But, but he's sick." Li Yaya's voice was choked with sobs. "He's seriously ill. I haven't seen him for just a month, and he's lost so much weight. I went to the hospital from school, and the first thing the doctor said was to prepare myself, saying he has six months to live. Everything was going well, so how could he get sick?"
Tears slid down her cheeks from the corners of her eyes. Jiang Yi was at a loss and went to get a tissue to wipe Li Yaya's tears.
"Then I dropped out of school and went home to take care of Lee Kin Yan. I stayed in the hospital on and off for a year. I tried many methods, used many medicines, spent a lot of money, and even sold the small house he had bought with great difficulty. But he still passed away. He took his last breath right in front of me. His hand in mine slowly grew cold. I have lost the person I loved most forever."
She had never said these words to anyone.
After saying that, Li Yaya couldn't hold back any longer and burst into tears.
It was the kind of crying that had never happened even at Lee Kin-yan's funeral after his death.
Emotions needed an outlet, as if the worries that had been pent up in my heart for more than two years were finally released at this moment.
Like a soul breaking free from the shackles of silence in an instant; like a frozen river suddenly bursting open; like long-accumulated clouds finally unable to bear the weight; like a match suddenly lit in the darkness, with astonishing honesty - the heaviness shaken off when the brows relax, the trembling revealed when the corners of the mouth twitch, and the light flashing when the pupils dilate.
Hot tears burst out of my eyes like a dam breaking, and my heart, which had been curled up for a long time, finally started beating again.
There was no warning, no buffer, just like the last leaf on a branch in late autumn, which suddenly loosened its fingers at some ordinary moment and fell with the weight of the entire season.
Li Yaya was trapped in her own quagmire for a long, long time.
Li Yaya's emotions gradually calmed down.
Looking at Jiang Yi who was sitting beside her with a tissue in his hand ready to wipe Li Yaya's tears at any time, Li Yaya decided to walk to the shore at this moment.
"Don't be nervous, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you that I'm still stuck in some things and haven't gotten over them. I still have some debts to pay off, but I'm almost there. I don't dislike you, I just feel that liking someone is something I can't do right now. I can't devote my energy and time to it. If you can accept that, I'm willing to give it my all, but I just can't guarantee it."
"There's no way to guarantee what?"
"There's no way to guarantee whether I really like you or just think you're a nice person. There's also no way to guarantee whether I can be with you for a long time even if I really like you."
"So do you like me now?"
Jiang Yi's eyes were shining as he stared at Li Yaya.
Eye contact is the human equivalent of a kiss without lust.
Under such a sincere gaze, Li Yaya had no way of going against her heart and said, "I like it."
"That'll do."
Jiang Yi has never been one to fantasize about the distant future. Things in the future should wait until later. Overthinking the future is anxiety, dwelling on the past is depression. The most important thing for people is to live in the present.
At this moment, Li Yaya likes him, and that is enough.
Everything else doesn’t matter.
However, he really couldn't imagine that Li Yaya had such an experience. It seemed as if he suddenly understood why she looked thin, but her eyes were full of determination.
"So, is that clear?"
Li Yaya, after calming down, returned to his usual self. He wanted to make things clear, so this should be considered as making things clear.
"Now that we have made things clear, let's -" Jiang Yi wanted to give a definition to their relationship.
Li Yaya suddenly realized that they were sitting a little too close to each other. She quietly moved towards the corner. However, Jiang Yi saw all of her movements and didn't expose them.
"You just said you wanted to make it clear, but you didn't say there would be a result after you made it clear."
After saying that, Li Yaya yawned. She felt sleepy.
I glanced at the time and it was five o'clock in the morning. I had made it through the night.
Jiang Yi can still catch up on his sleep at home during the day, but Li Yaya can't, because she has to go to work soon.
"Why don't you sleep here for a while?"
There's no need to define this relationship now. She still needs to rest, doesn't she?
Jiang Yi pointed to the bedroom and said, "The bedroom is over there, just go there by yourself."
"What about you?"
"I sleep on the sofa. I like sleeping on the sofa." Jiang Yi was telling the truth. He often slept on the sofa. Compared to sleeping on the bed, he felt safer on the sofa.
Li Yaya didn't hesitate, she was really sleepy and went to sleep.
The sky is big, the earth is big, but sleeping is the biggest.
After closing the door, Jiang Yi also lay down on the sofa, lost in thought, and fell asleep.
Li Yaya has no habit of recognizing a bed, but this room, this bed, and this quilt all have the smell of Jiang Yi.
Everyone has his or her own scent. This scent may be something that he or she has never noticed, but there will always be someone who notices and remembers it.
Just like a puppy will remember the smell of the place it has marked.
Li Yaya wasn't sleeping very deeply, and Jiang Yi was also in her dream. It wasn't even 9 o'clock when she finally woke up. Li Yaya sat on the bed for a moment, stunned, then got up, packed up, and left the room.
Jiang Yi was still sleeping soundly on the sofa. Fortunately, the sofa was big enough so that Jiang Yi could not squeeze on it.
After collecting her things, Li Yaya left even more cautiously, fearing that any noise she made would wake Jiang Yi. Calculating the time, she realized she could still catch some sleep once she got home.
I just have time to take a nap, but I don’t feel sleepy.
So, is it time to define this relationship?
When Jiang Yi woke up, Li Yaya was no longer at home. Jiang Yi had an expected expression on his face and was not in a hurry to continue "questioning" Li Yaya.
I guess she needs time.
When there were many unknowns about Li Yaya, he was very curious about her and secretly had many guesses in his heart, but he never thought that her past was like this.
At least, she was willing to tell him about the past. Although the past is the most deadly weapon, it occupies your past and makes you have to cherish it.
At least, she was willing to use him as an outlet for her emotions.
At least, she was honest about her love.
Jiang Yi shook his head, telling himself not to overthink it. He hadn't had the chance to participate in Li Yaya's past, so he would try his best to live a good present and future for her and him.
Life is a long journey, and your twenties are at best just the beginning of your life.
So things and people are already moving in a good direction, aren't they?
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