Chapter 61 Chapter 61 She could already smell his fragrance.
A Zheng was surprised that Xu Qing'an came to visit her late at night just to ask these two questions.
Although she had felt Shangguan Xu's vigilance towards the people in the house before, after being taken care of by him these days, she felt that he was not completely a cruel and heartless person.
Besides, the questions he asked were all irrelevant to Shangguan Xu's plan, so A Zheng felt that it would be okay to talk to him about these two issues.
She said, "In my heart, the Queen is an extremely considerate and gentle person. She always thinks about how to take good care of those around her, even at the cost of treating herself poorly to do so."
Hearing this, Xu Qing'an couldn't help but think of the concessions and deals she had made to him for those people.
But he said, "However, no one is nice to others for no reason. Have you ever considered that she has ulterior motives?"
"Ulterior motives?" Ah Zheng was a little displeased by this, but she suppressed her emotion for the moment and continued, "But what could possibly warrant her ulterior motives? You could say she's kind to Lord Shangguan because of their kinship, and you could say she's kind to the officials of the previous dynasty to curry favor with them. But why would she be kind to someone like me, floating in the world like duckweed?"
"Just so I can praise her in front of Lord Xu today, okay?" Ah Zheng paused for a moment, then affirmed, "But she's not Prime Minister Su, and I'm not someone who can spread her good reputation."
"But because of her good qualities, you are willing to be devoted to her and even die for her, just like the last time with Su Wulang, it wouldn't have gone so smoothly without your help. You see, isn't this the good you have done for her?" Xu Qing'an said ruthlessly.
"But that was my own decision, and I never discussed it with her. How could she be so sure I could bring her such benefits?" Ah Zheng retorted, her tone somewhat vehement. "Furthermore, she didn't give up on me even after the incident. When she learned I was still alive, she left the palace several times to visit me. Even if she wanted to use me, with someone like me and my status, given my current situation, was I really worth her so much?"
After she finished speaking, Ah Zheng glanced away, remained silent for a moment, and then tried to speak softly, "However, if Master Xu says that all this was planned by her, that she is so clairvoyant that she can see through everyone's thoughts, that she only kept me because she thought I could be of greater use, and that all her past efforts were insignificant to her, then I have nothing to say."
After saying this, A Zheng lowered her eyes and said no more.
However, there was no movement from outside the screen for a long time.
A Zheng couldn't help but look up and look outside.
The man sitting on the Arhat couch in the outer room was motionless, his sitting posture was the same as when he just sat down. The only difference was that he originally raised his head to look at the night sky in the distance, but now he lowered his head slightly and stared at the floor in a daze.
She didn't know what he was thinking, but she was grateful for his care these days. So she continued in a gentle voice, "Perhaps the officialdom requires one to be cautious of others, which is why Lord Xu is skeptical of many people and things. However, I also know that Lord Xu is kind-hearted and gentle. Otherwise, if what he just said is true, then Lord Xu's careful treatment of me now is probably because he is taking advantage of me."
"However, I have no identity now, and I can't use martial arts. I don't even know who I am clearly. I really don't know what Lord Xu can ask for from me." As she said this, A Zheng smiled.
"I'm asking you this question because I want to gain something from you." The person behind the screen finally spoke. He didn't continue the previous topic, his voice still indifferent. "Tell me more, what happened to you during those four years?"
Although he said this to "you guys", A Zheng knew that he actually wanted to ask his own queen.
Ah Zheng began, "It was only my first year in Taiji Palace. My body had just been injured, and my mind wasn't very clear, so I was often in a trance. Therefore, I don't remember everything that happened that year very clearly, and I don't remember much. I mainly have some memories of the past two or three years."
"I remember that in the first one or two years, everyone in Lizheng Hall, especially the Empress and Qinghe, acted extremely cautiously. They were fine with everyday matters, but once it came to matters involving people from the previous dynasty, the atmosphere in the hall would become tense and tense, like walking on thin ice. It's completely different from the current situation in Lizheng Hall."
Xu Qing'an lowered his eyes and listened to A Zheng's words, sketching out the scenes of those years in his mind.
At the very beginning, when she had become the empress dowager and had taken over the power of the Shangguan clan not long ago, Su Wang was at the peak of his power and her plans in the court had just begun. Naturally, she had to be low-key in many things and ensure that everything was kept low-key and not exposed to the limelight. I think she had a hard time during that period.
At the same time, Ah Zheng continued, "I remember back then, there always seemed to be a cloud of worry between the Empress's brows and eyes, and sometimes she even had trouble with her appetite and sleep."
Outside the screen, Xu Qing'an's fingers on the table moved, clasping the edge tightly. "So, will she just let this situation go on?"
Ah Zheng shook her head and said softly, "Not really. Sometimes she would ask the imperial physician to come and see her and give her some soothing medicine to calm her nerves, but most of the time, the Empress would go to the side chambers of the Lizheng Palace to be alone for a while to adjust herself."
Concubine...
He remembered that she had placed a small couch in it and a small square table next to it. Because the side room had good light and several windows were connected together, she often liked to make tea and take a nap in it during the winter.
She really liked that side room very much.
So he was not surprised to hear that she would lock herself in for a while when she was in a bad mood.
Xu Qing'an asked, "How long does she usually stay?"
Ah Zheng pondered, "A short time of one or two minutes, a long time... several hours."
"Has she always been alone?"
"Qinghe would go in and take a look occasionally."
Xu Qing'an tilted his head towards the screen: "What about you? You're not going?"
Ah Zheng shook her head and said truthfully, "I have never been to a concubine's room."
"Why?" Xu Qing'an felt strange.
Ah Zheng said, "There's no reason for it. It just so happens that whenever the Empress is resting in the side chamber, she doesn't go in for various reasons. Or maybe she's told no one to disturb her, or maybe she's already out the moment I go to see her. She never assigns anyone else to clean the side chamber; she usually does it herself."
Xu Qing'an pondered for a moment and said, "Then aren't you curious about what's in her concubine's room?"
Ah Zheng said softly, "Maybe at first, but later I stopped thinking about it. The Queen has too many things on her mind and too many emotions. She needs a space of her own to vent. I really shouldn't bother her."
"You've thought so much about her." Xu Qing'an whispered.
A Zheng looked outside and could only vaguely see the outline of the person outside through the gauze screen, but could not see his expression clearly.
Ah Zheng hesitated for a moment, then finally said, "Can I ask Master Xu a question?"
"Um."
"You just said you were asking me questions today to gain something from me. So, what exactly is it, Lord Xu, that you're seeking? And although Lord Xu is questioning me, everything he asks pertains to the Empress. So, what is it about the Empress that Lord Xu wishes to know? And now that you're so close to her, why don't you ask her yourself?"
After she finished speaking, the room fell silent, and the person behind the screen did not answer her question immediately.
After a moment, accompanied by a long sigh, the man outside spoke: "Perhaps it's just as you said before. After being in the officialdom for so long, I have developed a habit of not trusting others."
"Although I'm now collaborating with your wife, the difference in status between us is immense. Isn't my situation a case of 'living with a king is like living with a tiger'? Since she's my mistress, I inevitably need to learn about her temperament and past events for the sake of my future."
As he spoke, he couldn't tell whether it was self-deprecating or a smug chuckle as if he had understood the situation. "So, you say, with such a purpose in mind, how could I ask her in person?"
A Zheng remained silent, but she actually didn't think that what he was thinking was what he said. However, she also knew that it was useless to ask more questions, so he wouldn't say more.
Xu Qing'an stood up and said, "I'm sorry to bother you Madam A Zheng tonight. It's getting late. Madam A Zheng should go to bed early. I'll take my leave now."
Ah Zheng also stood up from behind the screen: "Goodbye, Master Xu."
The door was closed and the footsteps outside gradually faded away.
A Zheng couldn't guess what Xu Qing'an was really thinking, but she inexplicably felt that the loneliness and melancholy he exuded tonight was very similar to what she had seen in her own queen in the past few years.
——
Shangguan Xu had a good dream tonight. In the dream, she returned to the time when the two of them lived in the side room of Lizheng Palace.
The side room is particularly well-designed, warm in winter and cool in summer. A beauty couch is placed under the window. In winter, the sunlight pours in from the window, and combined with the fragrant tea in the room, it always makes people feel warm and comfortable.
However, what was even more comfortable was when he came, he sat on the couch, she rested her head on his legs, sitting and lying, he stroked the hair on her temples, and she played with the fingers of his other hand.
From time to time, he would pick up a book and read the contents to her in a gentle voice.
The years are quiet and the years pass peacefully.
In the dream, sunlight shone from behind his ears. She still couldn't see him clearly, but she was still happy, even happier than when she saw him in her dreams before.
Because she smelled the orchid fragrance on him.
Over the years, he had brought her so little in her dreams. Not only did he not let her see his face clearly, he also did not bring her anything that was originally associated with him - the fragrance of orchids, his voice. He only held her hand occasionally, and such a brief touch was a luxury.
Tears oozed from the corners of his eyes and flowed down. Shangguan Xu closed his eyes, resting his head on the soft pillow, with a smile on his lips.
She can already smell his fragrance, so sooner or later she will be able to see his face, right?
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