Chapter 66 Chapter 66 He is her late husband...
A love affair can satisfy or exhaust a person.
After all, it had been a long time since he had experienced this, and after it was over, Shangguan Xu was so tired that he fell asleep.
After feeding her water, Xu Qing'an lay beside her and looked at her quietly.
Her sleeping face is still as peaceful as before, but the temperament she exudes is a little different. Perhaps it is the accumulation of time, or perhaps it is because she has experienced too many things and tempered her character. The former beauty and agility are almost gone now, replaced by another kind of calmness and gentleness.
He observed her changes carefully.
He remembered that during the countless passionate nights in the past, after everything had calmed down, he would hug her, stroke her back to help her calm down, and be gentle with her. However, those habits that were engraved in his bones also affected his mood today.
After she fell asleep, his hand reached out and withdrew several times, but in the end, half out of devotion and half out of compromise, it fell on the hair at her temples.
She was sweating while doing it, and her hair was soaked and stuck to her forehead and temples. He reached out his hand and wanted to smooth it out for her, but the moment he touched her, he saw that her brows suddenly twitched and her expression was filled with fear.
He immediately realized that she was having a nightmare, and his mind was disturbed. However, just as he was about to hold her in his arms, he suddenly heard her call out "Brother Jing".
Like the surface of a lake frozen into ice in a winter glacier, it suddenly explodes when the sun rises, and it is hard to tell whether it is sharp and cold or scorching.
He looked at her with this look: "Who are you calling?"
Shangguan Xu never expected that he would lose his composure in front of him because of a few words of nonsense.
She had just woken up and had not yet fully recovered from everything around her, so she didn't want to bother with him about this matter at this time.
She glanced at him, closed her eyes and took a breath for a moment, then prepared to get up: "I should go back."
But as soon as she moved, he held her down, and due to the huge difference in strength, she was completely trapped on the couch.
He pulled his lips together and gave a strange laugh: "Your Majesty, you have only been intimate with me for a short time, and you have already called someone else's name. Shouldn't Your Majesty give me an explanation?"
Shangguan Xu slowly raised his eyes to look at him: "Don't worry, you are the only one who loves me."
"I know!" His chest heaved violently. He turned over and stood up, pressing her shoulders and pinning her to the couch, yet he restrained himself. "That's why I want to know who the person Her Majesty was talking about just now is."
As if he wanted to tear open her scars, he kept asking her, and the emotions in her dream just now surged in Shangguan Xu's heart again.
it hurts.
Her nose felt sore, and her voice trembled: "Do you really have to ask?"
Xu Qing'an stared at her without allowing her to dodge.
Her eyes were wet, and her smile was trembling and bitter: "Who else could it be? As the Queen Mother, who else could I call?"
She took a deep breath, her tearful eyes tinged with tenacity, and gave her answer: "My... late husband."
"The man lying in Pingling now..."
——
There are no clouds tonight, and the bright moonlight outside the window shines on the window frame, complementing the candlelight inside the hall.
After those words, the air in the entire bed curtain was silent for a moment.
Xu Qingan looked down at her condescendingly.
Her late husband...
He was her late husband...
A huge, chaotic wave of emotions, a mixture of absurd anxiety and shock, washed over him like a tide.
Such emotions were enough to make him stand there in a daze.
After saying that, Shangguan Xu suppressed the urge to sob and looked at him.
But he said nothing, his expression was frozen, only his chest was heaving and his breathing was slightly uneven.
She couldn't describe how he made her feel right now. He was filled with hostility and coldness, as if his entire body was tense and about to explode with anger. However, among these mixed emotions, she felt a bit of panic, as well as some tenderness that she wanted to reveal but was suppressed and dared not release easily.
The curtains swayed slightly, and the candlelight flickered after shining through. His cheek was facing the couch, so his outline was half bright and half dark.
The tent had been quiet for too long, and she didn't want all her efforts to go to waste because of that one sentence.
In the flicker of light and shadow, her eyes fell on his shoulder and she saw the remaining tooth marks. She slowly reached out her hand to touch it and gently stroked it.
"But don't worry, he's dead. You don't need to bother with him." She whispered softly, "And you are the only one I have now."
Her fingers traced the muscles around his neck and she persuaded him tenderly, "Yan Rong, forget what you said."
But his face was as cold as jade, and he seemed to be oblivious to her words: "Why did you call him?"
He kept asking, looking as if he wouldn't give up until he got the answer.
However, she turned her eyes away and didn't want to say anything.
"Answer me!" He was furious at her attitude. He clamped her chin and forced her to look at him, but he spoke as gently as possible. "Since he has been dead for so many years, why did you call him? What did you dream just now?"
His words were like a thin and tough needle, but there was a tiny gap in her heart, and he had to penetrate through that gap to understand everything about her.
Under the sting of pain, Shangguan Xu spoke: "You once said that you had a childhood sweetheart who died young. Have you ever dreamed of her?" Her eyes gradually moistened. "Have you ever recalled the little moments you spent with her? Do you... think of her?"
Xu Qing'an was stunned, his eyes suddenly filled with sourness, and he asked cautiously, "So... are you thinking about him?"
"Yes." Shangguan Xu admitted compromisingly, "He just appeared in my dream, and I was thinking about him."
She raised her eyes to look at the person lying above her: "But don't worry, he only appears in my dreams occasionally, it won't affect the relationship between you and me..."
Xu Qing'an suddenly pressed his lips down, swallowing all the words she hadn't finished saying.
Lingering, absorbing, and sucking, his kiss was strong yet gentle. It didn't seem like a reaction to hatred, but rather a feeling of love and pity. However, it seemed mixed with some anxiety and fear of losing it. It was as if he was afraid that such a relationship would be fleeting, so he kissed her more quickly and deeply, using this way to confirm that everything in the moment was real and that he could hold on to it firmly.
Shangguan Xuwan didn't expect him to react like this.
She thought he would be angry and humiliated, that he would question her resentfully, and that he might even lose control because of his ridiculous possessiveness.
However, there is none.
He just held her down and kissed her deeply, just held her face, rubbed her waist and cared for her.
Admittedly, in this position she was still pinned down by him, but she knew that as long as she exerted a little force she could push him away and stand up.
So she simply obeyed him and pulled him close, responding to him and comforting him.
When she felt his movements becoming softer and slower, she suddenly left him, turned her head to the side, and when he was still breathing hard and his eyes were still hazy, she put the hand on his back on the side of his face and stroked it with her fingers.
She smiled faintly: "You love me, don't you? There's more to us than just exploitation, right?"
His eyelashes trembled, his eyes flickered, and he opened his mouth but before he could respond, she raised her lips and smiled again, already having the answer.
She caressed his cheek with her fingers, tracing his features tenderly. "Tomorrow, come to Lizheng Palace, and I'll give you everything you want. But it's late now, so you have to let me go for now and let me go."
Xu Qing'an's gaze lingered between her eyebrows, his hands motionless. "What does the Queen want to give me?"
"Of course it's something that will make you happy, and it's also something that can help you avenge your teacher."
"In that case, why don't you take it out now, Madam?"
Shangguan Xu smiled softly. "How can you carry something so important with you? Besides, I'm not taking it out now because I'm giving you time to think about it."
"Yan Rong, you have to think carefully. As long as you step into the Lizheng Palace tomorrow, we will be completely tied together. From now on, if we don't move forward, we will perish. There will be no chance for you to regret it."
As expected, she pushed him away with just a little force, then turned over and pressed against his chest, her fingertips brushing under his shoulder and over the bite mark. She raised her eyes and smiled softly at him, "But I believe you will come, right?"
——
Time passed quickly, and the next night, Xu Qing'an went to Lizheng Hall when there were few people around.
He had been feeling uneasy ever since she said that last night.
No, in fact, he started to lose his mind from the moment they started last night, from the moment she called him "Brother Jing".
One day, why should she give him one day? During the day of waiting, he felt that everything he had done was out of order. Even now, when he entered the Lizheng Hall, his mind was in a daze.
Why did she call him "Brother Jing"?
What she thinks about during the day she dreams about at night. What role does he play in her dreams? Is it longing, guilt, or something else?
For the whole day, he thought of many things, everything he had found out in the past four years, everything he had done with her in the past twenty years, and everything that had happened between them since he returned to Chang'an.
There are even people like Liu Chang, Xue Hong and Su Ran who are related to the past.
Liu Chang had admitted to him in prison that he had indeed seen the Empress's seal during the Ministry of Works incident, but Su Ran had also marveled at him after learning his identity. It turned out that they were a couple...
What happened to the couple?
His heart seemed to be pulled by two forces. On one side was the ecstasy of possibly regaining what he had lost, but on the other side was the thought of the stupid things he had done in the past four years that might be hidden behind the joy.
Why were you so sure? Why were you so mean to her?
While his heart was filled with uneasiness, a sharp, stinging regret also arose, and this pain had tormented him all day.
He didn't know how he walked into the Lizheng Hall. The moment he stepped into the hall, Qinghe came to him with small steps and bowed. "Master Xu, please wait in the outer hall. The queen is dressing in the inner hall."
After saying that, Qinghe bowed again and left the hall.
In the outer hall, Xu Qing'an stood alone in the center of the hall. When he calmed down and hesitated, he smelled the familiar orchid fragrance in the hall.
He looked up and began to survey the entire hall. This was the first time he stood here as an old friend, reliving everything here.
In fact, nothing here has changed. It is the same as when he left and when he returns. Only...
His eyes fell on the small door on the side of the temple.
He didn't know if there were any changes in the side room.
He temporarily put aside those conflicting emotions and walked towards the side room as if possessed by a ghost.
The door was not closed, so he lifted the curtain and walked straight in. The room was not big, and he could see the whole scene inside at a glance.
They are basically the same, except for the addition of a desk and a hanging scroll.
There wasn't much on the desk, just an incense burner, a square wooden box, and the scroll behind it was unopened.
Wisps of smoke wafted out of the incense burner, and it turned out that the orchid fragrance outside the hall came from there.
He walked forward slowly, and every step he took seemed to carry a thousand pounds of weight. By the time he reached the table, his outstretched hand had begun to tremble.
He took the wooden box and opened it as if he was verifying a result that had already been determined.
The moment the wooden box was opened, he suddenly shuddered and sighed, and staggered.
"That's what he left behind."
Shangguan Xu's voice came from the door of the side room.
He turned his back to her and closed his eyes tightly.
But when he heard the rustling of fabric, he knew she was coming.
"He left in a hurry and didn't leave much behind. This bracelet was given to him by me, so it can be considered a token of love between him and me." Shangguan Xu stopped beside him and raised his head to look at him.
"Your Majesty, do you treasure this red string very much?" He didn't know how to suppress his numerous emotions as he spoke.
Shangguan Xu took the box from him, closed it again, and said softly, "Right? After all, a red string is easier to preserve than most things."
He finally turned and looked at her.
Only then did I see that she was wearing simple clothes with her hair down, her long hair like a waterfall, and her skin as white as jade under her gauze dress.
Seeing him looking at her, Shangguan Xu curved her lips and smiled at him: "If you like, I will braid one for you when I have time later."
Xu Qing'an suppressed his sour emotions and asked, "Did Her Majesty call me here today just to show me this red string?"
Shangguan Xuyu said coquettishly, "You opened the box yourself, how could I have predicted it so accurately?" She put the box back where it belonged, still smiling, "I asked you to come here today because I have something important to tell you."
After putting the box down, Shangguan Xu kept facing the table and did not turn back.
She continued, "Remember we talked about your ambition yesterday, and you asked me why I wanted to kill Su Wang."
"After what happened last night, I feel that we are already very close. I really shouldn't hide many things from you anymore. You want to understand my heart, and I also want to fulfill your wish."
Her eyes suddenly darkened. "So, I'll tell you one more thing that will help you ascend to a high position, becoming Prime Minister."
Her breath suddenly trembled, and she spoke through gritted teeth, "Four years ago, the traitor Su Wang plotted to assassinate our Lord. His crime was heinous! And as the late emperor's empress, I could only allow him to take control of the situation. I watched him continue to hold the throne of virtuous ministers, yet I was powerless to stop him. For the past four years, for thousands of days and nights, I have wished I could devour his flesh and drink his blood. However, even if I stabbed his heart with a dagger and tore out his bones, it would not be enough to avenge the hatred in my heart."
"And I also know that I can't just kill him like that. Death by assassination would only serve to glorify him. Only by revealing his true face while he's still alive will the world believe what a vicious and treacherous man he truly is! So, for the past four years, I've been collecting evidence of his crimes and eroding his power, all so that one day I can completely eradicate him, give an explanation to the late emperor, and to all those who have been harmed by him in the Great Jin!
"Fortunately, that day seems to be approaching soon."
"Yan Rong, you have lofty ambitions, and your teacher suffered because of him. Now we share the same enemy! As long as you expose his evil deeds to the world, he will be retaliated against and will never be able to rise again! Then, the world will know what a loyal and righteous person you are as the whistleblower. You will then be admitted to the Secretariat and promoted to the third rank of the Secretariat. You can even be called a wise minister. But before that happens, I will deliver all the evidence of his crimes to you!"
Shangguan Xu lowered his eyes after he finished speaking, and after calming down for a moment, he spoke softly, "Yan Rong, do you still remember what I said yesterday? As long as you step into the Lizheng Hall today, it means that you and I are completely tied together from now on. If you don't enter, you will die. After all, with Su Wang's character, he will not let you go after you know his secret that cannot be seen by others. But now that I have told you directly like this, will you blame me or resent me? You must know that from the moment you stepped into the Lizheng Hall, the people I sent out tried to let him know about our secret conversation today."
There was no response from his side for a long time, and Shangguan Xu couldn't help but look to the side in surprise.
However, as soon as she raised her head, she realized that the person next to her had already had red eyes and tears were falling like broken beads.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
