Lonely person
The ice and snow have just melted, and the spring chill lingers.
The glazed tiles of Chen'an Residence gleamed with a cool luster under the bright moonlight. Gu Jinghong sat alone on the highest roof ridge, leaning against the towering chiwen (a mythical beast-shaped ornament), one leg bent and the other hanging casually.
She held a small pill in one hand, looked at the moon, and then suddenly put it in her mouth.
With his other hand, he held a small jade wine pot, tilted his head back, and took a swig towards the bright moon. The spicy liquid, carrying the pill, slid down his throat, bringing a slight burning sensation, but it couldn't dispel the heavy gloom in his heart.
The night breeze lifted a few strands of her unbound hair and brushed against her cold and slightly tired face.
The South Wind Secret Box, the Cleansing List, Xie Yan's madness, the mystery in the southwest, the clues from Zhiji Pavilion... and the hands of the host, Guo Da, who could also solve the "Nine Stars Alignment"... like countless cold, venomous snakes, coiled around her thoughts.
She needed an outlet, even if it was just for a moment of numbness, so she tilted her head back and took one bite after another.
A moment later, light footsteps treaded on the tiles, approaching from afar, accompanied by a cool, refreshing scent of pine and cypress.
Gu Jinghong didn't turn around, but simply took another swig of wine. The only person who could walk so effortlessly on the roof of the Prince's mansion and dare to approach her now was Xiao Chengyan.
The footsteps stopped about an arm's length away from her.
Xiao Chengyan was dressed in casual clothes, with a thin cloak over them. The moonlight outlined his tall and elegant figure. He looked at the woman drinking alone under the moon, exuding an aura of loneliness and heaviness, and frowned slightly.
Gu Jinghong had been missing for two days. Just now, Changfeng reported to him that Gu Jinghong had gone up to the roof, but he did not expect this scene - drinking, and drinking so intensely.
He clearly remembered that not long ago at Zhuoyue Tower, when his seventh brother Xiao Chengrui forced her to drink, the fear and resistance on Gu Jinghong's face was not feigned, but deeply ingrained. It was a rejection etched into her bones, as if alcohol was a deadly poison to her.
But right now...
She was actively, almost greedily, gulping down the strong liquor. In the moonlight, he could see the intense tension in her neck as she swallowed, each gulp accompanied by a barely perceptible tremor in her body and an instantaneous, almost painful furrowing of her brow, fine beads of cold sweat beading on her forehead, and he could even hear her forcefully suppressing a soft groan of discomfort in her throat. This wasn't enjoyment; it was more like… torture.
A strong impulse seized Xiao Chengyan instantly, and he almost reached out to snatch the wine from her.
However, just as he was about to make a move, he saw more clearly.
I saw the despair and exhaustion in her eyes as she drank, a despair thicker than the night, almost threatening to engulf her. I saw the brokenness in her brows, crushed by immense pressure. I saw the unfathomable loneliness and the desperate yearning for respite behind her near-self-destructive madness.
His outstretched hand paused for a moment in mid-air with extreme restraint, before finally clenching into a fist and slowly, heavily falling to his side. Shock, confusion, and anger all transformed into a deeper, sharper, almost suffocating heartache.
"It's getting colder now, is something on your mind?" Xiao Chengyan composed himself, breaking the silence with a gentleness that was unusual for his usual aloofness.
Gu Jinghong finally turned her head, her eyes slightly hazy from the alcohol, yet still clear.
She shook the wine jug in her hand, a cold smile curving her lips: "Your Highness? Coming up to admire the moon? Please sit." She patted the glazed tile beside her, her gesture as casual as if she were greeting an old friend, not a noble prince.
Xiao Chengyan was slightly taken aback, somewhat surprised by her directness and current state. After a moment's hesitation, he actually brushed aside his robes and sat down beside her, maintaining a distance that was neither too close nor too far.
Gu Jinghong magically produced another small white jade wine cup from behind her back, filled it, and handed it to Xiao Chengyan: "Want a cup? Jade Ice Burn, it's strong."
Xiao Chengyan looked at the wine glass she offered, then at her unusually bright eyes, tinged with intoxication, and silently accepted it. The two didn't speak, but simply faced the same bright moon, each silently drinking the strong liquor from their glasses. The pungent taste went down his throat, and Xiao Chengyan felt a strange heat rise in his chest.
After a couple of drinks, the atmosphere seemed to ease a little, yet an indescribable ambiguity and tension remained.
Xiao Chengyan's gaze fell on Gu Jinghong's slender hands resting on her knees. In the moonlight, her fingers were fair and long, delicate as snow, yet they seemed to contain a force not to be underestimated.
Whether it was the influence of the alcohol or the allure of the moonlight and the vulnerability and loneliness she exuded, he was suddenly moved and, as if possessed, reached out his hand, seemingly wanting to touch the hand she rested on her lap.
However, his hand had only reached halfway when his wrist was precisely grabbed by a slightly cool but unusually strong hand!
Gu Jinghong's movements were swift as lightning, carrying an almost instinctive vigilance. She gripped Xiao Chengyan's wrist tightly, making it impossible for him to break free. She didn't look at him, but instead, in the cool moonlight, she lowered her gaze to carefully examine the man's hand that she was holding.
Xiao Chengyan's heart skipped a beat; the sensation on his wrist and her focused gaze made him momentarily forget to react.
"Your Highness's hands..." Gu Jinghong's voice, slightly hoarse from drinking, rang out clearly in the quiet night, "They are truly beautiful."
Her fingertips unconsciously traced lightly across his slender fingers and the back of his hand, as if admiring a work of art. "His knuckles were distinct, his lines smooth, like jade carvings."
Xiao Chengyan's Adam's apple bobbed slightly, somewhat bewildered by her sudden evaluation and this intimate yet strange behavior.
"...You flatter me." He tried to pull his hand away, but found that she was holding it very tightly.
Gu Jinghong suddenly chuckled softly, his laughter carrying a strange sense of self-mockery and insight.
She raised her head and looked directly into Xiao Chengyan's deep eyes: "Your Highness is of noble status, and you must be used to a life of luxury, never lifting a finger... But," her fingertips gently brushed over the almost imperceptible calluses on his thumb and the pads of his fingers, unconsciously groping.
Xiao Chengyan's Adam's apple bobbed, and his breathing began to become somewhat unsteady.
Gu Jinghong didn't notice, and continued to herself, "...It feels...why are there scars too? Sword practice must be tough, right?...Here, and here...the jade carving...why is it rough too?"
Xiao Chengyan's pupils contracted slightly. These callus marks were subtle, hidden marks left from his years of martial arts practice. How could she be so perceptive? His gaze instantly sharpened, and his voice deepened: "Jinghong's observation is remarkable."
Gu Jinghong seemed oblivious to the surprise and doubt in his eyes, and released his hand on her own, as if her actions had been merely a whim. She tilted her head back and took another sip of wine, her gaze drifting into the distance, filled with deep weariness and confusion.
"Does Your Highness know..." she seemed to be talking to herself, yet also asking him, "Why was I able to open that Southern Wind Secret Box?"
The Southern Wind Secret Box? — Xiao Chengyan's heart skipped a beat. He didn't reply, but just looked at her quietly, his vigilance growing even stronger.
"The 'Exquisite Technique' mechanism of the Southern Wind Kingdom is indeed ingenious and complex, living up to its reputation."
As Gu Jinghong spoke, she stretched out her hands, spreading them out in the moonlight, and then looked at Xiao Chengyan, extending her hand: "Your Highness, you...you touch my hands..."
Xiao Chengyan was startled, his heart pounding, but his expression remained unchanged. After a moment's hesitation, he placed his long, strong hand on Gu Jinghong's slender hand.
He could clearly feel that Gu Jinghong's hands were slender, especially her skin, which was as delicate as fine porcelain. Even her nails were trimmed neatly and rounded, and he could not even feel the texture. It had an almost sickly exquisite quality.
Her fingertips were icy cold, like jade carvings, but her palms were unusually hot.
Just as Xiao Chengyan was wondering what Gu Jinghong was planning, Gu Jinghong suddenly pulled her hand out, held it in front of her eyes, and carefully examined it against the moonlight.
"Your Highness, you've felt it, haven't you? My hands... are more delicate than those of ordinary women... That's the key. Cracking the secret of the Southern Wind Box relies on intellect. If you spend time studying it, you'll eventually find the way. But..."
She slowly closed her fingers, then gently opened them again, her gaze focused intently on her fingertips: "The most important thing is... these hands that open."
She gave a self-deprecating laugh, a laugh tinged with melancholy. “My hands are far more sensitive than those of an ordinary girl. I can clearly ‘feel’ even the slightest changes in temperature, the flow of air, and the faintest vibrations inside a mechanism. It is through this ‘feeling’ that I was able to understand the intricacies of the ‘Exquisite Technique’ and unravel its secrets.”
Gu Jinghong suddenly looked at Xiao Chengyan seriously: "Does Your Highness know that in the entire Dayong, there are only a handful of people who can open the Nanfeng Secret Box?"
She paused, rubbing her temples back and forth with her other hand, her eyes lowered, her voice low and heavy with confusion: "...But I didn't expect that my godfather...could also open it."
She looked at Xiao Chengyan again, a self-deprecating smile on her face, her eyes filled with confusion and the pain of being deceived by her closest relatives. "Your Highness, you are so smart... Tell me, the fact that both of us can open it... What does that mean?"
Xiao Chengyan's heart skipped a beat! An extremely bold and terrifying thought uncontrollably rushed into her mind—her godfather could actually unravel the 'Linglong Technique'?
This is no ordinary thing!
The method to open the South Wind Secret Box is extremely difficult. Gu Jinghong's talent is already astonishing. Who exactly is her godfather? Is there more to their relationship than just the debt of raising him, or some unknown inheritance or connection?
Looking at the genuine confusion and pain in Gu Jinghong's eyes, he suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.
“Heh…” Gu Jinghong suddenly chuckled again, her laughter filled with endless weariness and desolation. She gently rested her head on the cold hawk-shaped ornament, her eyes gazing unfocused at the moon, her voice as soft as a breeze that might dissipate at any moment.
“I know, I know he might not be a good person… The things he did, every single one of them, were a bit strange, not like a good person… Sometimes, when I look through some of the case files, I can find flaws… But…”
Her voice choked, thick with nasal congestion and slurred with drunkenness: "But I have no choice. Your Highness, I can't bear to watch him die... If he dies..."
She closed her eyes, silently and softly exhaling, her long eyelashes casting a fragile shadow beneath her eyes. "If he dies, I will truly be all alone in this world... utterly alone..."
She chuckled to herself and shook her head, her voice low and hoarse, "No, there is no 'lonely family,' only 'the lonely one'..."
A long silence fell over the air...
Just when Xiao Chengyan thought Gu Jinghong was about to fall asleep, she seemed to suddenly remember something, abruptly raised her head, her eyes hazy with the effects of alcohol, yet possessing a sharp penetrating power that pierced straight at Xiao Chengyan.
“Your Highness…” she hiccuped slightly, her voice becoming somewhat unsteady yet unusually clear, “…you’re no better.”
Xiao Chengyan's heart skipped a beat, and his brows furrowed instantly.
Gu Jinghong didn't seem to expect his answer, or rather, her thoughts had already jumped to the next point that puzzled her. She held up a finger and waved it in front of Xiao Chengyan's eyes, with a drunken innocence and a professional habit of meticulous attention to detail.
She tilted her head, her eyes both confused and sharp. "The Southern Wind Kingdom... it's long gone, not even bones remain... that box, dusty and gray, with some incomprehensible scribbles carved on it... Your Highness, how... how did you recognize it at a glance... that's a box from the Southern Wind Kingdom, hmm?"
She leaned closer, her warm, alcohol-scented breath almost brushing against Xiao Chengyan's face, a sliver of remaining clarity flickering in his hazy eyes: "That book, 'A Brief Study of the Remains of the Ancient Southern Wind Kingdom'... How did you know... I needed it? Hmm?"
Her questions were casual, even tinged with a touch of drunken naiveté, but each one was like a precise dagger, piercing straight to the heart. These questions, like icicles, instantly pierced through the fragile warmth that had just been there, revealing the cold undercurrent of suspicion and probing between two top chess players.
Xiao Chengyan's heart sank suddenly, and a chill ran down his spine. She was drunk, so drunk that she even revealed her godfather's secret, so drunk that she showed an unprecedented vulnerability.
However, that deep-seated vigilance and insight had not completely subsided. These questions were not drunken ramblings, but rather the doubts that had always lingered deep within her heart. Fueled by alcohol, they were transformed into seemingly casual probes, thrown at him.
How should he answer? Admit that he has studied the ancient kingdom of Nanfeng? Admit that he has been paying attention to her movements and needs? Or... fabricate a seemingly plausible lie? No matter which answer he gives, at this moment, it all seems incredibly weak and risky.
After asking her question, Gu Jinghong seemed to have exhausted her strength, and she didn't seem to care about getting an answer immediately. She looked at Xiao Chengyan's face, which suddenly became complicated and unpredictable, and gave a low, self-deprecating laugh, her voice as soft as a sigh.
"Ah... Your Highness, don't be nervous... I... I was just asking..."
She waved her hand gently, as if to shake off these heavy thoughts, and also as to tell Xiao Chengyan that she did not intend to force him to reveal the truth at this moment.
Her voice gradually faded, the strong effects of the alcohol and immense mental pressure finally breaking her taut nerves. The wine jug slipped from her hand and rolled down the tilted glazed tile, shattering with a crisp sound in the silent night.
She leaned against the roof ornament, her breathing becoming even and long, as she drifted into a deep, drunken sleep.
Xiao Chengyan sat quietly beside her, the moonlight shining on her pale and delicate face. Having let down all her cold defenses, she appeared so thin and fragile, like a piece of glass that could shatter at the slightest touch.
The night breeze carried a faint scent of alcohol and a subtle, cool fragrance from her.
He looked at Gu Jinghong, who was usually decisive and ruthless, with unparalleled wisdom, and who even Xie Yan, who was imprisoned in the water dungeon, wanted to rush over and beat him up. But now he was curled up on the roof like a lost child, expressing his loneliness with no one to rely on.
The powerful willpower she possessed contrasted sharply with the extreme vulnerability she displayed at that moment, creating a breathtaking effect.
That stubbornness—knowing full well that his "godfather" might be guilty of heinous crimes, yet still unable to let go and determined to protect him at all costs; that deep-seated fear of being completely abandoned…—was like an invisible needle, unexpectedly piercing a soft corner of Xiao Chengyan's heart that even he himself had never noticed.
However, just as this heartache welled up, a colder and sharper thought gnawed at his heart like a venomous snake—this deep-seated loneliness, this fear of being completely abandoned by the world, could it be that... Xiao Chengyan had a part in it?
He was startled to realize that the brokenness, resilience, self-deprecation, and loneliness in Gu Jinghong were unexpectedly similar to those in A Ning, evoking a long-lost, familiar feeling of heartache in him, perhaps even more so than in A Ning…
Perhaps it was the beautiful moonlight, perhaps it was her vulnerability that was too real, perhaps it was the touch of those lonely words, or perhaps it was the realization that he himself had become the "executioner" who pushed Gu Jinghong into loneliness, Xiao Chengyan slowly leaned forward.
He gazed at her still slightly furrowed brows and trembling eyelashes as she slept, his movements incredibly gentle, as if afraid of disturbing something.
Then, an extremely gentle, warm kiss, like a feather, landed on her smooth forehead.
Instantly separate.
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