Chapter 26: An Imperfect Seventeenth Year
Seeing Jiang Meng about to leave with her things, Li Shuheng stood up and quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, Jiang Meng. I shouldn't have said that."
His voice was very low, and he was genuinely bowing his head in remorse.
Jiang Meng was pulled by his arm, and looked back at him: "This is not something that can be solved by an apology. I know that's what you're thinking. I hate dishonest people."
Jiang Meng frowned and muttered to herself, "I know, you're not A at all. He couldn't possibly be that kind of person."
She gave a cold laugh, a self-deprecating laugh at her misjudgment: "How could I have thought you were him? I actually had any expectations of you."
Li Shuheng asked, puzzled, "What do you mean?"
Jiang Meng shook off his hand, not wanting to get entangled any longer, and hurriedly left the classroom.
Aside from her father, who made her speak without thinking, this was the first time Jiang Meng had ever argued with someone. She wasn't good at it, so her hands were trembling involuntarily, and she could no longer maintain a friendly smile to face malice.
Jiang Meng held the keys in her hand and walked with her head down. After a few steps, she bumped into a boy.
"Jiang Meng?"
Xie Zhuo lowered his eyes and saw her pale face. Noticing something was wrong, he asked softly, "What's wrong?"
After he finished speaking, he quickly glanced at the boy behind him, a hint of curiosity flashing through his mind.
Xie Zhuo didn't know what had happened, but he looked at Li Shuheng, who remained in their classroom, with hostility.
"I...I had a fight with someone."
Jiang Meng felt a little safe with Xie Zhuo. She tightened her grip on his arm and said in a weak and exhausted voice, "It's just... I ran into someone I hate."
It turned out they were just arguing.
Xie Zhuo is not the type to be hypocritical. He avoids conflict because he is good at balancing himself. He also conveyed this open-minded wisdom to Jiang Meng: "If you hate someone, just stay away from them. Arguing will only hurt you."
Jiang Meng's legs went weak, and she seemed unable to stand steadily. Xie Zhuo, afraid that she would fall, supported her shoulder: "It's a good thing to see someone for who they really are."
She said, "Come earlier next time and help me argue."
Xie Zhuo chuckled softly: "Okay, I'll help you argue."
Jiang Meng caught her breath and forced a smile: "Xie Zhuo, you're so kind, you're the best."
Upon seeing Xie Zhuo arrive, Li Shuheng stopped trying to persuade Jiang Meng to stay. He glanced at her, then left through the back door, choosing to walk down the other side of the stairwell.
His calm demeanor, though observed by others, resembled a frustrated escape.
Xie Zhuo went to the office to ask a question and is now back to get his schoolbag.
They walked outside together.
Amidst the howling wind, Xie Zhuo handed her the black scarf in his hand.
Seeing Jiang Meng's puzzled look, he said, "He left this for you. It's snowing outside."
Winter came quickly, and in the rapidly dropping temperature, she stood in the wind and accepted the scarf that Chen Jizhou had Xie Zhuo pass on to her.
She hasn't contacted him for a while.
Chen Jizhou has been focusing on his studies lately, preparing his application materials and exams for studying abroad, and he's even stopped playing ball. Sometimes when she passes by his classroom, she wants to talk to him, but seeing him diligently working on his problems, she can't bear to disturb him.
Holding the scarf in her hand, besides its plush texture and scent, there was also a faint fragrance, like a citrus perfume. She leaned closer to find the source of the scent, but the aroma wasn't concentrated; it just emanated from the edges of the scarf. As she got close, it lingered around her for a long time, like a kind of ethereal and flowing protection. Soon, Jiang Meng realized that it smelled like aftershave for boys.
Growing up slowly, she only remembered the anxiety and fear she felt when a hard lump appeared on her chest when she was ten years old, but she forgot the day he started growing a beard.
Forget when the person in front of me first acquired a broad, masculine silhouette and mature demeanor.
The change will inevitably bring something, such as the choice to go left or right when standing at a crossroads, which is something she can't bear to think about any longer.
She slowly wrapped the scarf around her neck, as if she were entering a midsummer in winter.
Jiang Meng calmed down considerably.
She pinched his sleeve with two fingers: "Xie Zhuo, I really, really need friends, but I don't need just any scumbag friends. You, you, promise me you won't kill or set fires, and I'll be your best friend for life."
Xie Zhuo sized her up, and in her fragile mood, he refrained from making any sarcastic remarks, simply giving a calm "hmm."
She said, "Chen Jizhou is one too."
Xie Zhuo said calmly, "Then you go and talk to him."
Jiang Meng smiled and followed him into his car.
Sitting in the car, Jiang Meng rubbed her palms together and pulled her scarf over her face: "It's so warm."
Xie Zhuo also raised his hand and rubbed the fluffy texture again: "It's cashmere."
The keys, warmed from being held in her hand, were taken out again by Jiang Meng to look at them. "Look at this photo, isn't he handsome?"
Xie Zhuo didn't comment on whether they were handsome or not. He glanced at them and mumbled, "They're a good match."
Jiang Meng didn't respond to him. She recalled, "Back then, when I asked you to take pictures, you refused. Although Chen Jizhou was also reluctant, he would accompany me to do what I wanted to do. You know, that's the difference between you and him."
Xie Zhuo's tone was indifferent: "I already told you to marry him—"
Before he could finish speaking...
There was a knock on the window of the car parked at the intersection.
Jiang Meng quickly rolled down the car window and saw the boy's bright and clean smile appear in the slowly falling snow. Chen Jizhou straddled the mountain bike, holding the handlebars, and looked down into the window. He rang the bell twice, and his voice rose slightly in the biting wind: "You two got together, why didn't you give me a ride?"
Jiang Meng smiled and waved to him, "Come on, come on, there's still a seat."
The green light ahead is on.
"Uncle Jiang," Xie Zhu reminded the driver in front, "drive slowly."
Chen Jizhou followed on his bicycle, and he smiled nonchalantly: "I'm not going, I just like feeling the wind."
A cool breeze lifted the hair from his forehead, revealing his smooth, fair forehead and his clear, deep-set eyes.
It was cold, and Chen Jizhou, wearing a windbreaker, rode his bike in the wind. His ears, nose, knuckles, and lips were all red. The weather made his skin appear even paler, and the slight upturn of his lips, combined with his bright eyes, seemed to illuminate the night sky. It reminded her of a line from a movie: "A smile that lasts a thousand years, this scene belongs to none other than you."
The seventeen-year-old boy is just coming of age; for him, life seems to have no darkness or harsh winter.
Jiang Meng lowered the window halfway, her fingers gripping the windowsill. Ignoring Xie Zhuo's words, "Be careful," she turned her face outside and watched him ride his bicycle to catch up with their car.
When he speeds up, she yells, "Slow down, slow down, the road is slippery!"
As he caught up, she cheerfully changed her tune, saying, "Hurry up, hurry up and catch up."
Chen Jizhou cooperated exceptionally well with her instructions.
The weather was cold, but when Jiang Meng saw his exposed knuckles and his unyielding smile, and knew that her best friends were all around her, she felt a warmth that made her want to cry, and she blinked her eyes, which were filled with tears.
Jiang Meng reached out her hand, as if to grab him.
Chen Jizhou stretched out his arm and, in the snowy light, gave her a high five. His dry, warm palm brushed against hers, the touch brief.
Seeing her awkwardly withdraw her hand, he smiled gently.
Chen Jizhou parted ways with them at a corner. He waved goodbye with one hand, and the black mechanical watch on his wrist swayed twice with the movement, leaving a gray-white light in her retina.
"I'm leaving now, goodnight."
Soon, Xie Zhuo's phone lit up. He opened it and saw a message from Chen Jizhou: "Why are you crying?"
He said, "Take good care of her."
Xie Zhuo then noticed Jiang Meng's eyes, which were both tearful and smiling, and handed her a tissue.
Xie Zhuo wasn't sure if that was enough. He couldn't measure a girl's needs as delicately as Chen Jizhou, or rather, Jiang Meng's needs. After thinking for a moment, he simply decided to hastily slip her another one.
-
A few days before the New Year, Chen Jizhou and Xie Zhuo had a meal together, just the two of them.
Xie Zhuo sometimes felt that he had a lot on his mind.
But more often than not, he wondered, what could someone like him possibly have on his mind? Someone who constantly says "I'm happy even if it costs a fortune," someone whose exam mentality is more stable than anyone else's, someone who isn't upset even if he comes in last place, and who will nonchalantly say, "That's good, there's more room for improvement"—could he possibly have any negative emotions?
The answer is, of course, no.
However, Chen Jizhou's image as someone who could drink without getting drunk crumbled that night. After drinking some Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor) at a barbecue stall, he collapsed onto Xie Zhuo's back.
When Xie Zhu left home, he never imagined that he would have the mission of carrying him home.
Fortunately, Chen Jizhou was a decent drinker; when drunk, he would just lie down quietly and didn't rave about anything in a drunken stupor that would embarrass him on the street.
Xie Zhuo thought, at least he still has some conscience.
Chen Jizhou slept the whole way.
Xie Zhuo got out of the car in front of his apartment building, put his arm around the person's shoulder, and walked inside.
It was very late at night, and there was hardly anyone inside or outside the building.
Xie Zhuo pressed the switch of the automatic door downstairs and walked in when he suddenly heard the person on his back speak.
Chen Jizhou didn't wake up, but he uttered a very soft, sleep-talking sentence: "You like me, don't you?"
"..." Xie Zhuo was quite startled, his hand on the elevator button froze. "What?"
He initially thought he had misheard, but after the footsteps stopped, in the quiet room, he clearly heard a voice say, "You like me, okay?"
If his tone had been vague and unclear, Xie Zhuo could have let it go without taking it to heart. But he spoke clearly, each word spoken with utmost seriousness: "One night is fine too."
Xie Zhuo never imagined that someone who said "I'm happy no matter what" would say such a thing.
He had never imagined that Chen Jizhou would show vulnerability, compromise, or sadness.
He had never seen him like this before.
And at this moment, he was on his back, and Xie Zhuo could not see the frown on his brow.
Although there was no feigned drunkenness, the truth that comes out when one is drunk still becomes crystal clear at night.
I have class the next day.
It was evening when Xie Zhuo came out of his office and ran into Chen Jizhou, who was walking from the other end of the corridor.
He was with a boy, heading to the office to get the exam papers. The two were talking when they saw Xie Zhuo. Chen Jizhou looked up at him and asked, "The one you brought back to me yesterday?"
Xie Zhuo complained, "It's so heavy."
“I’m a centimeter taller than you, so it’s normal that you can’t carry me.” Chen Jizhou patted his chest. “Thanks.”
Xie Zhuo corrected: "Only 0.6."
Chen Jizhou ignored what he was saying, walked past him, and continued on his own way.
Xie Zhuo turned around, hesitated for a moment, and then called out to him softly, "I have something to ask you."
Upon hearing this, Chen Jizhou immediately stopped and said, "Go on."
Xie Zhuo glanced at the boy next to him.
Chen Jizhou understood immediately and went up to him, where Xie Zhuo asked directly, "Do you like boys or girls?"
Chen Jizhou was stunned by what he said. He looked at Xie Zhuo, who had a serious expression, with disbelief and thought he was very suspicious: "Don't have any improper thoughts about me just because you carried me home once. I won't allow it."
Xie Zhuo's tense expression, which had been tense all day, was finally able to relax.
However, the more I thought about it, the more something seemed off.
"What do you mean, Xie Zhuo?"
Chen Jizhou tilted his head, pondered for a moment, and then glanced at the other person up and down. "Am I that charming?"
"..."
Xie Zhuo's face turned cold: "Get out."
Chen Jizhou chuckled briefly, then patted him on the shoulder reassuringly: "That's more like it."
Xie Zhuo wondered if, when speaking the truth yesterday, even the most carefree person's eyes were vulnerable.
But his nonchalant smile at this moment revealed nothing about what was going on.
Chen Jizhou always has some very uplifting catchphrases that he can casually use to bring joy and energy to everyone.
Be happy, Xie Zhuo.
Be happy, Jiang Meng.
Be happy, Su Yu.
The campus corridors stretched endlessly, unlit, and Xie Zhuo could only hear the monotonous rhythm of his footsteps as he moved forward, plunging into darkness. Time seemed to stretch on endlessly, and he didn't know when he would finally reach the shore of this sea of suffering.
Perhaps soon, perhaps in ten years, or perhaps he can only silently succumb, praying that time will pass quickly so that he can forget this imperfect seventeenth year as soon as possible.
Be happy, Chen Jizhou.
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