seeyou (Part 1)
Zhou Zeyu was a person who was not willing to admit defeat, and these repeated setbacks only fueled her stubbornness. She decided to practice swimming with Sorkov again the next day, determined not to give up until she mastered it.
After going around in circles for a while, Zhou Zeyu walked through the lobby of the gymnasium again with her bag on her back; she had come to swim again.
This place always gave her the illusion of a youth palace. A single building contains more than a dozen land and water sports facilities. Many of the children are running around in their sportswear, chattering away, while some professionals are sweating profusely as they go in and out of the various venues.
Unlike the quiet streets of Belgrade, this place was too lively, so lively that Zhou Zeyu felt a little uncomfortable. She hadn't seen so many people at once in a long time. The subtle gazes falling on her made her feel inexplicably uneasy.
Suddenly, someone gently called her name. She turned around in confusion and saw a handsome, somewhat weathered middle-aged man holding a phone and talking on it. He stopped and looked at her inquisitively. "Are you seeing you?"
The moment she turned around, the hesitation on the uncle's face instantly turned into joy. He strode over, beaming, and extended his hand, "Joe-see you!"
Zhou Zeyu was stunned for a moment, then quickly realized what was happening.
“Yes,” she said very softly, taking the man’s hand. “I’m seeing you.”
That distant, almost unfamiliar memory was unearthed once again. It was so beautiful that when I thought of it again, I couldn't help but feel a faint pang of sadness.
However, it has been many years since anyone has mentioned this name.
She stood there somewhat dazedly, a weak smile on her face, listening to the man speak rapidly and eagerly on the phone. Then he hung up and excitedly led her to the ping-pong hall on the second floor.
There were many people inside, men, women, young and old, who came up to greet her with surprise and joy. Many people were calling her name loudly, shouting "See you!" The letters they uttered were arranged in a disorderly manner around her ears, but she couldn't hear a single word, only a noisy and hazy scene.
They surrounded her, welcoming her with almost jubilant cheers, but she couldn't react at all. She was so bewildered that she seemed a little dazed, shaking hands with them like a puppet, unable to utter a single word.
The middle-aged man excitedly raised her hand: "Today, we welcome the world champion!"
The hand that was raised high was suddenly exposed to everyone's view. She felt many burning gazes on it, and her not-so-large palm suddenly felt a burning pain. She suddenly felt terrified and pulled her hand away forcefully as if she had lost her mind.
It was as if something shattered in an instant, instantly waking her from her dazed state. She came to her senses as if waking from a deep dream, her heart pounding so hard that her chest ached slightly.
She shook her head, then nodded. "Thank you, thank you all, but I think I should go."
She panicked so much that she practically fled.
Solkov was waiting for her at the door, looking at her with apparent understanding. "If you're not used to it, you should leave."
“It’s not that I’m not used to it,” she said, “it’s that I’m too happy.”
Because I am so happy, I feel sad.
"I didn't expect that." She looked up, gazing wistfully at the towering ceiling, and sighed with a touch of sadness.
"Didn't expect so many people still remember you?" Sorkov suddenly spoke up, saying calmly, "You underestimate yourself."
Zhou Zeyu looked up at him, but he didn't look down. He raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to look in the direction of the door.
A girl who looked to be about fifteen or sixteen years old was rushing towards Zhou Zeyu, dressed in red with two long braids flying rapidly. She was like a blazing and unstoppable fireball.
Zhou Zeyu took a step back, and the girl stopped just a step away from her, blinking her big eyes and staring intently at her. Her face was flushed, and her eyes slowly filled with tears, as if she was about to cry for a moment: "Long time no see, see you."
"I really, really like you. I've been watching your matches since I was a kid. I went to the World Championships in Moscow back then, and you even signed my shirt." She pointed to the bold black lettering on her chest, her voice trembling with excitement, yet she spoke rapidly as if afraid the letter would disappear at any moment. "I never thought I'd see you today. I'm so excited! Can I hug you?"
The girl took a deep breath, mustered her courage, and reached out her hands to her. Zhou Zeyu squatted down and hugged her tightly.
"Long time no see, see you." The girl said softly, "Actually, it's okay to lose the game, you have to always be happy."
As if her heart had been suddenly gripped, a bittersweet feeling spread throughout her body along with her blood. Zhou Zeyu's nose stung, and tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.
She recalled those most difficult days from the past. They were so hard that they still haunt her like nightmares. She had always tried so hard to prove herself, but she still lost that most important competition. The doubts and denials that she had deliberately avoided came crashing down like a dam breaking, almost drowning her in that late summer and early autumn.
The blinding flashes of the cameras blurred her vision through her tears. She sat alone in the chair, surrounded by an empty room. The lines she had memorized before going on stage were completely forgotten in her extreme pain. She answered the reporters with barely broken spirit, her words almost entirely incoherent, but that was all she could do.
Sometimes the most unbearable pain is exposing your most broken self to the spotlight. But she couldn't run away because she had to take responsibility for her mistakes. So she could only sit there, even if she was sobbing uncontrollably, even if she felt like she was sitting on pins and needles, and answer those questions, whether gentle or sharp.
It's undeniable that she has made too many mistakes.
Her mistake was being too confident. She wasn't a genius at all; she was just an ordinary person who was overhyped and became arrogant. She was blinded by some seemingly brilliant honors, becoming too flamboyant and reckless, and doing things without considering the consequences.
The mistake was being so tightly protected that she completely ignored the rapidly changing situation both inside and outside the team. She, as the Premier, naturally left all those things to Coach Xu, including the power struggles within the upper echelons, the vortex of capital games, factionalism, and open and covert battles, while she herself remained completely clueless and empty-handed.
Or perhaps, the most fundamental mistake was that year when her father asked her if she wanted to go to the youth center to learn to play ball, she excitedly jumped up and down, grinning and saying, "I'm willing."
At the end of the press conference, she walked to the door with the help of the table, her knees buckled and she collapsed in front of Coach Xu. Coach Xu hurriedly tried to help her up, but she shook her head while crying, her mind blank. The only thought that remained was that she never wanted to play ball again.
I don't want to think about it anymore.
After going through so many twists and turns, it seemed that everything was getting better, but she knew that it wasn't. Two forces were fighting inside her. One force came from her past success and glory, which prompted her to do everything she could, even if it meant being shattered to pieces, to stand up again and die in front of the pool table.
But another force kept entangled with her, like a fishing line, relentlessly sawing at her heart day and night, telling her that she didn't have the courage to start over. She was afraid, she was timid, she hated the crisp sound of the plastic ball hitting the table, and she didn't want to continue anymore.
So she was too conflicted, too tormented. The hidden bomb buried deep in her heart would explode every time she saw a familiar scene. The greatest significance of the intermittent pain in her right knee was that it kept her constantly alternating between clarity and despair.
At this moment, as she saw the familiar pool table, heard the cheers for her, and was tightly embraced, her knees were still aching intensely, just like they had been through countless days and nights.
Sometimes adversity breeds suffering, but happiness can also bring suffering, because happiness can lead to pain.
"It's okay if you lose, as long as you stay happy."
Always be happy.
Zhou Zeyi took a deep breath, stiffly and quickly suppressing his emotions. He secretly wiped away his tears with his sleeve, sniffed, released the girl, and touched the calluses on her hands. "Do you play ping-pong too?"
The girl paused, looking a little lost and flustered. Zhou Zeyu thought she must have seen the tear stains she hadn't wiped away, but the girl didn't say anything. She forced a smile and said, "Yes, see you. I want to become as amazing as you. I've been working hard."
Zhou Zeyu nodded. She wanted to say something encouraging, but she fell silent. After thinking for a while, she said gently, "Don't become like me. You will be better than me."
This was the most sincere blessing she could offer.
The afternoon was the time I had arranged to meet Professor Elberlint. The afternoon sun bathed the entire long road in its light, and a faint breeze carried the delicate fragrance of unnamed flowers along the roadside. The two of us walked silently toward the small garden, keeping a distance that was neither too close nor too far apart.
Zhou Zeyu was lost in thought, still immersed in her memories and unable to let go. Those bittersweet memories were mixed together in a chaotic mess, like a pot of completely tangled paint, which was her complicated emotions at this moment.
Despite agreeing to relax, Professor Elberlint's negative emotions seem to be increasing rather than decreasing. He must be quite frustrated.
She sighed, and Solkov glanced at her, still remaining silent.
He's probably been staying up late these past few days working on his thesis. He looks very tired, with deep pigmentation around his eyes. His angular face seems even thinner, and when he's expressionless, he gives off an unapproachable and distant vibe, even more so than before.
Zhou Zeyu recalled his earlier loss of composure, and then looked at the tiny trace of blood still remaining on the tip of his nose. After thinking for a moment, he decided not to say a word and quietly drifted off into thought.
But just when she thought the silence would continue indefinitely, Sorkov suddenly spoke. His voice was very soft, and at first glance it seemed like he was muttering to himself, but Zhou Zeyu was certain he was talking to her. "Has no one ever told you that you are very capable?"
Zhou Zeyi was taken aback by his question and stopped to think about how to answer. He also stopped and waited for her reply, his expression calm.
Of course, she received praise. During the period when she rose to fame, she was showered with praise and accolades from almost the entire society. However, after the initial elation subsided like a tidal wave, all that praise brought was pressure and annoyance, which she disliked.
The praise she truly craved seemed to have never been given to her. The only time Coach Xu praised her was in front of Professor Elberlint. Coach Huang believed in suppressive education and had always held the philosophy that praise would make people complacent. Over the years, she hadn't received a single kind word, and she had gotten used to it.
During these years of downturn, praise simply disappeared, which is to be expected. The media's stance shifted drastically, from full of praise to complete denial, which was actually a very quick and easy thing to do.
After being criticized so much, she naturally began to criticize herself. She understood this herself, but there was nothing she could do; that idea was already deeply ingrained.
She smiled helplessly, staring down at the unremarkable pavement beneath her feet, deliberately avoiding her gaze to hide her dejection. "Some people have said it, some haven't. Those who said it all regret it, and those who didn't don't care anymore."
Don't you even think so yourself?
“Me?” She shook her head. “Maybe I was before, but I’ve figured it out now. Like you said before, I’m ready to accept that I’m just an ordinary person now, not an athlete.”
She waited for his reply, but the young man in front of her remained silent. She couldn't help but look at him, only to meet his calm yet seemingly angry gaze.
"What I mean is to make you realize how great and successful you were as an athlete, to naturally accept the passing of your peak, to stop deliberately pursuing success, and to let yourself return to a normal life and be yourself."
His expression remained calm, but his speech involuntarily quickened. Zhou Zeyu keenly sensed his fluctuating emotions, but she didn't understand why.
“But you misunderstood me. Because of one failure, you have completely negated your career. You should not treat the present as a last resort after failure. If you do, you will have failed completely.”
He paused briefly, then suddenly called her name, not the usual "see you" with an English accent, but the standard "Zhou Zeyu," every pronunciation and syllable perfectly accurate.
“Zhou Zeyu, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I imagine it must have been very painful. But no matter what, you should never forget that you are an outstanding athlete.”
His expression was so serious it bordered on inhuman, even carrying a hint of barely contained anger, yet his words were so gentle, as if he were softly comforting someone, or subtly encouraging them.
Zhou Zeyu remained silent, unsure how to respond. She even thought he would turn and leave after speaking, but he didn't. He simply stood there, watching her, waiting for her answer with a certain persistence.
"I will do my best."
Another silence fell, the atmosphere so eerie it was impossible to ignore. Zhou Zeyu racked her brains trying to think of something to break the deadlock, but to her surprise, Solkov gave her a subtle smile and spoke first.
“Let’s go, there are plenty of cookies to eat today.” He turned slightly to her side, gesturing for her to go first in a gentlemanly manner, with a hint of a smile in his voice. “They’re the kind that will make you forget your troubles.”
Zhou Zeyu couldn't help but chuckle. The two walked side by side on the road again. She had already spotted the familiar outline of the small garden and the Elberlint couple waiting for them at the door.
This time, she'll eat all the cookies she wants.
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