Hot Cocoa (Part 3)
The day before the competition, the question Zhou Zeyi asked Fang Xiaocan most often was whether deserting at the last minute counted as desertion.
Unfortunately, Fang Xiaocan easily saw through her little scheme and told her with absolute certainty every time, "Yes, and deserters will be court-martialed."
Zhou Zeyu collapsed weakly onto the sofa and said in a very weak voice, "Then come and judge me. I might have a heart attack before I even get to be punished."
Coach Xu couldn't stand it any longer and hesitated for the third time, but Zhou Zeyi cut him off again without any room for argument, saying, "Don't try to persuade me, Lao Xu. Even if I have a heart attack, I won't withdraw from the competition."
"Oh dear, don't try to persuade her anymore. She's very stubborn. She says she doesn't want to play in the competition, but she's not happy if you really tell her not to go."
Fang Xiaocan had a completely detached expression, showing no reaction whatsoever to Zhou Zeyu's suicidal attitude. She even cheerfully recorded a video of Zhou Zeyu running around on the sofa, declaring that she would keep it for life and never delete it, even if she died.
"Then I'll die with you now."
Seeing that she was about to pounce on him and start a fight, Fang Xiaocan finally became alarmed. She suddenly dropped her phone and started looking around frantically, searching for something to change the subject.
"Um... what's that sound coming from? Who's knocking?"
She had only said it casually, but Zhou Zeyu actually heard what sounded like someone knocking on the door. He immediately forgot about seeking revenge on Fang Xiaocan, hesitated for a moment, listened again, went to the door and looked through the peephole, then mouthed something to Fang Xiaocan, who looked confused.
"It's Feng Yifan."
Zhou Zeyu hadn't expected that the visitor would be her. They didn't have much interaction and rarely had the chance to run into each other. Thinking about it, it seemed that she could only have come for tomorrow's competition.
When she opened the door, Feng Yifan was looking down, seemingly lost in thought. She appeared somewhat surprised that the door had opened so quickly, and she quickly wiped the weariness from her face, putting on a smile. "Sister, it's been a long time."
To be honest, although Zhou Zeyu is indeed older than Feng Yifan, she is not used to her always calling her "sister". She used to not do this. Having been in a place where seniority is important for too long, she always subconsciously treats Zhou Zeyu as a senior. But in fact, the two of them debuted around the same time.
Zhou Zeyu forced a smile, quickly stepped aside to let her in and invited her to sit down.
Fang Xiaocan and Feng Yifan were much more familiar with each other, after all, they had worked together for a long time. However, their relationship was still not very close. They nodded to each other, and then Fang Xiaocan went to the kitchen to dawdle and get some water.
This is not surprising. According to seniority, Fang Xiaocan should have taken over Zhou Zeyu's position, but in the end, Feng Yifan took over. It is perfectly normal for there to be a rift between them.
Coach Xu was also somewhat surprised by Feng Yifan's sudden visit. He smiled and exchanged a few pleasantries with her, asking some very ordinary questions, such as how she was doing lately and how the team was doing. These were questions that could be easily brushed off.
However, Feng Yifan's smile suddenly vanished. She looked at Coach Xu, then at Zhou Zeyu, and suddenly covered her face and burst into tears without warning.
Zhou Zeyu hadn't expected things to turn out this way. He hurriedly grabbed some tissues for her, and glared at Coach Xu, who had caused the trouble, along the way. Coach Xu was also quite confused, wondering what was wrong with his question.
"What's wrong?" Coach Xu asked with concern. "Did something happen?"
Feng Yifan took the tissue, wiped away her tears briefly, and kept her head down. "It's nothing, I'm really sorry."
“It’s nothing,” Zhou Zeyu waved his hand and sat down next to her. “What’s so embarrassing about crying? Just ask Coach Xu. I like to cry too. I’ve used up half of the tissues here.”
Feng Yifan forced a smile, finally raising her head slightly to look at Zhou Zeyi, "I was too busy before, and I didn't have time to visit you while you were in the hospital. Are you feeling better?"
If it were someone else, Zhou Zeyi would probably not believe the excuse of "too much to do," but Feng Yifan might not be so sure. Given how chaotic the team was before, it was understandable that she was extremely busy, and there was really nothing to blame her for.
The last time the two met was when Zhou Zeyu was aggressively demanding back pay from Coach Huang. At that time, she noticed that Feng Yifan had lost a lot of weight and looked almost unrecognizable. She even sighed and reminisced with Fang Xiaocan for a while.
If the reason for his previous physical and mental exhaustion was due to constant oppression, it is indeed strange that Feng Yifan is still so thin and tired now.
"Are things still tough lately?"
When Zhou Zeyu asked the question, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Coach Xu seemed to want to stop her from asking directly. After all, the question was not very tactful and was somewhat direct, which seemed impolite. Instead of asking "How have you been lately?", he asked "Are you still having a hard time?", which meant that Zhou Zeyu knew that her past life had been very difficult.
Feng Yifan had obviously thought of this, and glanced at her with a slight surprise, as if he was struggling with something, but he quickly gave in and sighed.
"Yeah, it's not a good time."
Zhou Zeyi sighed, "Who's putting pressure on you?"
She knew that asking such a question seemed a bit presumptuous given her relationship with Feng Yifan, and it also made her seem like she liked to meddle in other people's business, but Zhou Zeyu couldn't care less about that anymore.
Fang Xiaocan was right. Even though she had been away from the team for so long, Zhou Zeyu still carried some of the captain's spirit and habitually wanted to make decisions for her teammates, even though she seemed to have no reason to do so now.
Feng Yifan had already wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. "Sister, I won't have an easy time after Coach Huang steps down."
This is the truth. When Coach Huang was in charge, Feng Yifan was his handpicked successor for the women's team. He practically pulled her into his camp. After the change of leadership, it was only natural that the new coach would not give her important responsibilities.
Feng Yifan noticed that she was getting angrier and quickly interrupted her, "Don't be angry, it's not like you're being given the cold shoulder, it's not that serious."
Zhou Zeyi had been in the team for so long, so of course she knew that these words of comfort were false. She was just saying them to comfort herself. In the current atmosphere of fawning on the powerful and belittling the weak, it was not just about being given a hard time. It was good enough that Feng Yifan hadn't been targeted to death by those snobs.
But what could she do when she was angry?
Zhou Zeyu sighed in frustration, suddenly feeling powerless. She often felt an irresistible urge to help others because of her empathy, thinking that she had gone through such a difficult path herself and that she should do her best to prevent others from repeating her mistakes. But this situation still happened.
"I'm not saying this to get you to stand up for me or anything, don't misunderstand." Feng Yifan's voice was very soft. "I just happened to be passing by today and thought I'd come and see you guys, that's all."
Zhou Zeyi didn't want to doubt her motives, so he gently patted her shoulder and stood up. "It's okay, sit down first, I'll get you a glass of water."
Fang Xiaocan was originally supposed to do this job, but since he stayed in the kitchen for a long time and seemed to be hiding like a coward, Zhou Zeyu decided to go and do it himself. He suddenly opened the sliding door of the kitchen and sure enough, he saw Fang Xiaocan squatting down and scrolling through his phone.
Where's the water?
Fang Xiaocan stood up abruptly. "It's in the kettle, pour it yourself."
Zhou Zeyu gave him an annoyed look. "Then what are you doing here?"
"I'm trying to figure out Feng Yifan's intentions." She looked thoughtful and deep. "Visiting someone the day before the competition makes it hard not to suspect that they have ulterior motives."
Zhou Zeyi smiled and casually asked, "What are you worried she might do?"
"Yeah, you're so soft-hearted, you might just fall for her tricks."
"Okay." She nodded, but didn't answer her directly. She picked up her cup and walked out, glancing back at Fang Xiaocan, who was planning to stay in the kitchen until dark. "Are you still hiding here?"
Fang Xiaocan reluctantly nodded and pushed open the sliding door to the kitchen, but froze when she saw the tear stains on Feng Yifan's face.
"What's wrong? Why is she crying?"
Zhou Zeyu quickly shook his head, signaling her not to bring up things she didn't want to talk about.
Fang Xiaocan grabbed Zhou Zeyu, who was about to walk out the door, and pulled her back, then slammed the door shut. "What did you say to Coach Xu? Why is she crying?"
“She didn’t say anything,” she sighed. “Maybe she’s not feeling well herself.”
Fang Xiaocan, who had previously been shouting that one should not easily trust others, was now silent. The thoughtful look on her face completely disappeared, replaced by a very sighing expression.
"I never expected it to turn out like this. She never shed a tear even during her most difficult times before. I thought..."
Zhou Zeyu looked knowing. "She had a tough time before, didn't she?"
"You were a team leader, don't you know that?"
“That’s it,” Zhou Zeyu said. “She’s had a tough time too, so let’s stop speculating.”
The two looked at each other, unsure of what to say. They sighed a few times, then pushed open the kitchen door again and went out.
Feng Yifan had wiped away her tears, and her eyes were still a little red, but at least she had a smile on her face. She chatted casually with Coach Xu about things that had happened in the team before. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw them coming out of the kitchen and smiled at them again.
"Oh, don't force a smile. It's okay, it's okay to cry."
Zhou Zeyi reacted quickly and struck her on the back, but it was too late. When Feng Yifan heard this, her face showed panic and astonishment, as if she had never expected Fang Xiaocan to say such a thing, and she was at a loss for words.
Fang Xiaocan remained calm, found a place to sit down, and asked directly, "Feng Yifan, what are your plans now?"
Feng Yifan was stunned for a moment, "Me? I haven't thought about it yet..."
Seeing the hesitation on her face, Zhou Zeyi sighed with a pang of sympathy. In fact, the newly appointed coach's attitude was already very clear: due to the relationship between Feng Yifan and Coach Huang, she would definitely not be able to continue to develop smoothly. The path in front of her was very clear.
Either they lose the match against Zhou Zeyu tomorrow and are kicked out of the team as a matter of course, or they win the match tomorrow and get a temporary respite, but will definitely be punished for some trivial matters afterward.
It's just a matter of time.
Feng Yifan is so smart, she must have thought of this too. Her expression grew increasingly unpleasant, even somewhat heartbreaking. Her right hand unconsciously gripped the hem of her clothes as she spoke softly.
"Sigh, if all else fails, we'll just have to take it one step at a time."
Zhou Zeyi was very familiar with this answer and knew why Feng Yifan was in such a negative state. She had gone through the same thing back then, feeling just as lost, just as fearful, and just as feeling that the future was so dark that she couldn't see anything at all.
Over the years, after she finally emerged from the darkness, she had to watch helplessly as another person followed in her footsteps, which was, of course, painful.
Seemingly sensing the increasingly heavy atmosphere in the air, Feng Yifan cleared her throat, stood up, and forced a smile, "It's getting late, so I'll be going now."
Zhou Zeyi knew that she was in a state of emotional turmoil, so he didn't insist that she stay and walked her to the side of the street.
People came and went on the street, but few stopped like them. Zhou Zeyu and Feng Yifan stood at the intersection, as if they wanted to say something to each other, but they were waiting for the other to speak first.
"I only joined the team after defeating you, and I was actually feeling terrible the whole time. You hadn't fully recovered yet, so it was really unfair of me to win..."
Zhou Zeyu interrupted her, saying, "There's no need to say that. I was indeed in a very bad state at the time. You did a great job, and you deserve it."
Feng Yifan lowered his head slightly, "In the year or so since I took over your responsibilities, I have finally come to understand you completely. This position is indeed very difficult. I often feel that I am not as good as you. I really want to be like you, but it is still very difficult."
“When I first took office, I thought the same as you,” Zhou Zeyu smiled gently. “I also felt that Cen Zheng did everything better than me. I felt like I was inferior to her in every way, and I doubted myself for a long time.”
“But there’s really no need to think that way,” she added.
It seems that everyone in this position cannot escape comparing themselves to their predecessors. Zhou Zeyu is like this, and so is Feng Yifan. They feel envious when they see the other person's glamorous appearance, but only when they actually sit in this position do they truly understand what lies behind this respectability.
It's too bitter, too tiring, and I've given so much but received so little.
Using a vague and ethereal title to justify all the exploitation as a responsibility—isn't that the biggest open conspiracy in the world?
“I think you did a great job,” Zhou Zeyu smiled at her. “It’s good that we were able to persevere in that kind of environment.”
As if in response to her smile, Feng Yifan's gloom lessened, and she slowly smiled back.
"Actually, I've always had a plan in mind."
"Okay, go ahead."
Feng Yifan's eyes seemed to redden again, but she took a deep breath and held back, as if she had made a great decision, and said, "I plan to go back tonight and formally submit my application to leave the team."
"What?"
This was indeed unexpected for Zhou Zeyi. All along, Feng Yifan had given her the impression of being gentle and obedient, rarely saying much, and even rarely complaining. She even thought Feng Yifan was a bit too weak.
Submitting a withdrawal application is, of course, the most dignified and assertive way to resist.
Feng Yifan chuckled softly, "Didn't expect me to do this?"
“Of course not,” Zhou Zeyu nodded to her, and for some reason, he also felt a surge of emotion and his voice choked with emotion. “I am proud of you.”
After taking the tissue from Feng Yifan, she wiped away her tears and suddenly froze, feeling that the situation was a bit strange. She was supposed to be comforting Feng Yifan, but it was Zhou Zeyu who ended up crying.
Zhou Zeyu felt deeply ashamed and quickly stopped crying. He cleared his throat and pretended nothing had happened. "But even so, you absolutely cannot hold back in tomorrow's match."
Seeing her sudden change in expression, Feng Yifan couldn't help but laugh out loud, and said somewhat teasingly, "I won't, old captain. I also want to leave with one last victory and dignity. Let's all keep going."
Zhou Zeyu nodded, watching her disappear into the crowd little by little. He raised his head slightly, but suddenly met Fang Xiaocan's gaze as she leaned against the window and looked at him.
"Why are you crying?" Fang Xiaocan mouthed to her.
"The wind is too strong," Zhou Zeyu shrugged and answered calmly.
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