Beneath the Ashes (Part 3)
Another nightmare.
After years of persistent desensitization, she has long been able to observe everything from the past with detachment, especially in the dreams she cannot escape, yet everything is still so familiar that it is terrifying.
Even witnessing the pain of that time again after many years would be enough to torment a person, Zhou Zeyu thought.
Memories are the most ruthless villain in the world. Just when you think you've become magnanimous enough to let go, they take you back to the scene of that year, so that you can clearly see how absurd your misjudgment was.
There is no such thing as forgetting; you can even remember the smallest details perfectly.
Zhou Zeyu sat in that chair, the television in front of him emitting a hoarse, crackling sound, with black and white static appearing on the screen from time to time. Looking at his own image flickering on the television, he suddenly felt dazed.
In the pitch black, an eighteen-year-old girl sat on the steps, her large clothes fluttering in the north wind, billowing out like an inconspicuous flag.
She looked up, but there was nothing in the sky.
She heard the rustling of fabric beside her and knew someone had come. She instinctively lowered her head, but tears suddenly streamed down her face, falling onto the fabric of her clothes.
She turned her head, somewhat flusteredly wiped her face clean with the back of her hand, and then casually went to talk to the people around her.
Why did you suddenly come out?
Cen Zheng handed her a neatly folded tissue. "I should be asking you that. Aren't you cold coming out so late at night?"
Of course she's afraid. She's actually the person who's most afraid of the cold. Her hands are freezing cold in winter, and she doesn't even like to stay in air-conditioned rooms in summer.
As if he could see through her feigned strength with ease, Cen Zheng let out a soft sigh, and gently stroked her back with his warm hand, as soft as a feather.
Zhou Zeyu felt her body temperature, feeling it linger on her body repeatedly, only to be easily dispersed by the wind.
She didn't actually want to show vulnerability in front of Cen Zheng; it had almost become an instinct for her. Who would want to be looked down upon by someone they admired? She certainly wouldn't.
Zhou Zeyu lowered her head, trying to hide her tears in the darkness of the night. Of course, this childish act could not be hidden from Cen Zheng. She heard a murmur of similar emotion beside her, and then a warm coat was draped over her shoulders.
"Little mute, tell me what's on your mind. Why do you always try to keep things to yourself?"
The little mute boy looked up into her eyes, "You don't blame me?"
Why should I blame you?
Because she made a mistake, she was punished by the team. Not only could she not continue training, but she could not even participate in the later competitions. This is a very serious disciplinary issue.
And Cen Zheng should be angry too, just like everyone else was to her.
But she didn't. Despite having such high expectations for Zhou Zeyu, Cen Zheng still showed no anger. She didn't even seem unhappy. She just calmly looked into Zhou Zeyu's eyes and smiled as always.
"If you make a mistake now, you can correct it later. Why be so upset?"
Zhou Zeyu remained silent, feeling as if something was tightly blocking his throat. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but all his efforts were in vain.
"I'm sorry," a sudden, overwhelming sadness welled up inside her. She held back her tears and covered her eyes with her hands, but her voice still trembled. "Have I disappointed you? Please don't be disappointed in me."
Through her teary eyes, she seemed to see a flash of white light before her eyes. The blinding and conspicuous beam of light tore through her defenses, and then Cen Zheng approached her and put his arm around her shoulder tightly.
In moments of silence, Cen Zheng always seemed gentle and tender, even in the way he moved his hands; she rarely hugged her so tightly.
But this was the most powerful comfort, surpassing all words. Cen Zheng pressed his head tightly against hers and generously transferred his body heat to her.
"You've been so tired lately, take a rest," she whispered. "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you."
Yes, she was still with her.
Zhou Zeyu closed her eyes, let out a long, relaxed sigh, and then let herself immerse herself in the cold evening breeze.
As for how this happened, she herself didn't know.
All she knew was that over the years, without her realizing it, she had gradually gained a foothold in the team with the help of Cen Zheng and herself. As Cen Zheng's performance declined, she was naturally promoted to become the team leader.
With each championship she won and her fame growing, not only her reputation soared, but also her net worth.
In fact, she doesn't like those commercial endorsements and has no interest in having her face printed on those milk cartons. She also dislikes appearing on all sorts of shows and variety programs. Those arenas of fame and fortune are not places for her to go, and she hates going to such unfamiliar places to force a smile.
Like a puppet whose predetermined path has been set, she can only do that, and even has to do that, because according to Coach Huang, it is indispensable.
But she was too tired. After finishing the recording of the show, she had to rush back to Beijing to participate in the next round of training. Sometimes she was so sleepy that she could not even see the ball clearly, but she still had to keep going without complaint.
Before that, these were all Cen Zheng's tasks. Zhou Zeyu didn't even know how she managed to do all of this so perfectly. She had to switch to that flawless, proper, and elegant face, speaking eloquently in front of the camera, and then switch back to being a good captain, taking meticulous care of everyone in the team.
She's like a superhero.
But Zhou Zeyu wasn't some omnipotent superhero. Rather than saving the world in a tight-fitting suit and red cape, she actually preferred to quietly practice her game in the gym for a while.
Those trending topics that she inexplicably found herself on, the interviews and shows that she was forced to do—none of these were what she wanted. She was too exhausted.
When people are excessively tired, they tend to lower their guard unconsciously, which exposes their vulnerabilities and flaws. She was too lazy to communicate with advertisers and sponsors, so she delegated the entire matter to a professional agent, which was a mistake.
The agent only cares about her commercial value, and even goes to great lengths to use her as a trademark. Zhou Zeyu's training and competitions are not his concern. He is a professional with insightful marketing planning skills, but he does not understand competitive sports, let alone Zhou Zeyu.
As a result, Zhou Zeyu's condition deteriorated, and she even nearly fainted during a competition. At the same time, Coach Huang was also dissatisfied with her taking on so many commercial activities in private. She was given a serious warning and was soon punished.
Ironically, while everyone else was busy preparing for the competition, she, a very busy person, suddenly found herself with free time.
Being busy is not a good thing, nor is being idle. She had no idea that this matter would cause such a huge reaction. The media exaggerated the punishment, and overnight everything changed.
Her reputation plummeted, and people began to accuse her of "not doing her job properly" and "being arrogant," of sacrificing the greater good for money and losing the most basic principles of an athlete. The previous extensive marketing campaigns turned into boomerangs, hitting her one after another.
Zhou Zeyu hadn't been online for a long time. She uninstalled those apps and even intentionally blocked her name in the comments. She thought that by not caring, she could completely forget about it, but that didn't work.
The gossip and accusations persisted, even after she admitted her mistakes and vowed never to expose herself to the spotlight again; she was even afraid to see her own face on a milk carton.
Oh, right, milk.
She suddenly realized that she hadn't drunk milk in many years.
Her thoughts were uncontrollably drawn to this point. After thinking for a long time, from various flavors of milk to different ways of drinking it, and even recalling her bizarre smile when filming a milk commercial, Zhou Zeyu finally realized that she had been daydreaming for a long time and quickly came to her senses.
She finally understood why Sorkov always said she was unpredictable; one moment she was lost in a nightmare, and the next she was agonizing over whether or not to drink milk. She was becoming more and more capricious.
Thinking of this, Zhou Zeyu took a deep breath with lingering fear and reflexively reached for his phone by the bedside. He glanced at it and saw that it was just past 5:30.
5:30? What's that? It's still dark. Who can she confide in?
She squinted, taking a long time to adjust to the light from her phone. She idly scrolled through the screen for ages, feeling incredibly bored, but not wanting to settle down and overthink. After struggling for a while, she finally clicked on Sorkov's name.
--Are you awake yet?
Thinking that he wouldn't reply so quickly anyway, she was about to close her eyes and sleep for a while when her phone rang again.
--Still not asleep.
Zhou Zeyu frowned and quickly typed and sent the message.
--Aren't you asleep yet? Did you go out to steal something?
--That's exactly what I meant.
Zhou Zeyu snorted, and suddenly an image popped into his mind of him lying in a brightly lit gaming room, playing games in front of a three-screen computer while swearing, and then going out the next day with huge dark circles under his eyes and looking listless.
I'm sorry, she's being stereotypical again.
Although it's obvious that Sorkov isn't that kind of person, and he's probably staying up all night writing a paper, Zhou Zeyu always reflexively associates him with those bad elements.
Such stereotypes are so deeply ingrained that it's no wonder she hasn't been able to correct them after knowing him for so long.
Her phone rang again. She opened it and another new message popped up.
--And you, do you dare to come back after robbing a bank?
Zhou Zeyu sighed. She couldn't tell whether robbing a bank was worse or having nightmares was worse.
She was so tormented by these pointless and persistent dreams that if someone told her that robbing a bank would stop her from dreaming, she might actually do it.
--Yes, do you need me to share the spoils with you?
She sent it in a sullen mood.
There was silence on the other end for a while. She buried her head in the blanket and rested for a long time before receiving another message.
--Hmm. Did you have a nightmare?
He knows her very well, which surprised Zhou Zeyu. She had originally thought that Solkov wouldn't be able to guess.
--Yes. Do you have any ideas?
It took Solkov a long time to reply.
--Then don't sleep like me.
Zhou Zeyu stared blankly at the string of emotionless letters for a moment, then smiled helplessly.
She shouldn't have had any illusions, thinking that this person would comfort her in a kind and gentle way, saying things like "listen to some light music before bed" or "drink a cup of milk tea to help you sleep." Sure enough, he wasn't the kind of person who spoke so gently!
Zhou Zeyu lay on the bed, unsure of what to think, and randomly typed a few letters and sent them.
--Don't you have class tomorrow? Are you planning to stay up all night tonight?
There was a suspicious silence on the other end for a moment, and then Zhou Zeyu was not surprised to see him send an awkward smile.
--I skipped class^^
It seems that stereotypes aren't always useless... Zhou Zeyu thought speechlessly.
--Keep it up, college students! I'm going back to sleep now.
With a deft click of the send button, Zhou Zeyu stretched lazily, found the most comfortable position in the blankets, and squinted his eyes, trying to drift back into sleep.
However, she couldn't fall asleep. Her mind kept replaying those distant events inappropriately. After thinking about them for a long time, she finally felt a little sleepy, but it was already dawn.
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