Mu Houchu quickly walked over to Xin He and gently patted her back, uttering, "You haven’t eaten much today. If you continue like this, it will do you no good."
Xin He, weakly nestled into his arms, said, "This child, really won’t let people have peace."
Full of compassion, Mu Houchu suggested, "How about more rice porridge? I’ve had some fresh sour fruits brought for you. Eating a couple might help relieve your nausea, and then maybe you could eat some rice porridge?"
Xin He was hardly interested in food, but the sweet and sour fruit seemed tolerable. That wasn’t to say Mu Houchu would let her overindulge; too much would not be good either. They were only there as a relief for when her nausea became unbearable, to be followed by a meal.
But Xin He shook her head, "Never mind, I’m already faint from all the vomiting, let me rest."
Mu Houchu, full of helplessness, gently rubbed her head, "After this one, we’re not having any more."
Originally six years ago, when Ah Guai was born, they had decided not to have more children. Now another one was on the way. The child was indeed troublesome and was causing so much hardship for his mother before even being born. Maybe a troublesome boy! Considering how easy it was when Xin He was pregnant with Ah Guai, all she did was eat and sleep without suffering until the time of delivery.
Xin He gave a slight smile, "Yes, after this one, we’re definitely done!"
It’s unclear whether she meant it as a joke or not. Even though she was suffering, the life inside her was her own flesh and blood. She held many hopes for him; he was her child, to whom she was deeply attached.
At this moment, a maid respectfully entered, "His Highness, Ling Feng seeks an audience."
Upon hearing this, Mu Houchu’s expression subtly changed. Ling Feng would not usually seek him out personally. His unexpected visit probably meant something significant had happened.
Xin He seemed to anticipate this and looked up at Mu Houchu with surprise.
Mu Houchu gently patted her back with a calm expression, "I’ll step out for a moment."
"Mmhmm."
Mu Houchu immediately stood up and stepped out.
By this time, Ling Feng was already waiting outside.
"What’s the matter?" Mu Houchu asked, his expression becoming stern as he stepped outside.
Ling Feng quickly bowed, "Your Highness, there’s news from Elder Xu." 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎
"Regarding Li Nan?" Mu Houchu’s brows furrowed tighter.
If Li Nan had regained consciousness, it wouldn’t be good news. If Li Nan was dead, that would be even worse news. So far, Mu Houchu had not encountered a more challenging situation.
Ling Feng nodded, saying, "It seems like he’s awake, but..."
"But what?" Mu Houchu wasn’t the most patient man when it came to others.
Ling Feng paused momentarily before continuing, "But he’s missing."
Mu Houchu’s face tightened, "Missing?"
Xin He also came out, looking puzzled, "What’s going on? Has something happened?" It was clear that she was still worried.
"Why did you come out? It’s windy outside, be careful not to catch a cold." Mu Houchu helped her back inside.
Xin He asked, "Has something happened?"
Mu Houchu remained silent for a while before saying, "Li Nan has disappeared."
Xin He was taken aback, "What do you mean? Has he woken up?"
"Elder Xu sent someone to tell us that he disappeared right after regaining consciousness." said Mu Houchu.
Xin He frowned, "Where could he have gone? This child, truly never letting us worry less."
Mu Houchu didn’t say anything else. After a moment’s pause, he took out a letter from his sleeve, "This was left by him."
Xin He was puzzled, and she gave Marquis Mu a surprising look, then immediately opened the letter.
"I’m lucky to have survived. Knowing you’re safe and sound only then I can feel at ease. I realize I’ll have regrets in this lifetime. As a man who’s died once, I’ve grown braver. I don’t regret anything I’ve done. In the second half of my life, I plan to live well on my own."
The young man who once secretly pledged to protect her for life now had to depart, in light of the exposure of his hidden affection. Even if he didn’t leave, what chance did he stand to remain by her side? Rather than awkwardly lingering, it’s better to let go. He knew from the very beginning that he wasn’t the one meant for her. His life was destined for regrets.
Xin He held the letter in shock, silent for a long time before finally releasing a long sigh. There was nothing to say.
At the tender age of seventeen, she was already carrying so much. Xin He suddenly wondered: if she hadn’t taken him out of the princess’s house back then, his life might not necessarily be worse than it is now. With his wit and cleverness, perhaps he could have found his footing today, eight years later, though the process might have been harder. At least he could live freely, without restrictive bonds or regrets.
Li Nan said he had no regrets, but Xin He did on his behalf. She knew him well, this boy who tugged at her heartstrings. From the age of ten, he had borne too much, kept too many secrets. He demanded perfection from himself in all aspects and seemingly swallowed any grievance. Beneath his silent exterior, how many burdens from the past and feelings of being wronged did he bear?
That night, Xin He couldn’t sleep properly. The following morning, when she woke up, Marquis Mu was already gone. He had been incredibly busy with official duties and likely had left before dawn.
Upon waking, Xin He felt a heaviness in her heart, perhaps due to yesterday’s news of Li Nan’s sudden disappearance. So, she decided to go out for a walk.
Xiaoyu hesitated a bit, "Should we inform His Highness and ask him to accompany the princess? Last time we went out, we were on edge."
Xin He shook her head, "No need, we’ll just walk around the city. It will be ok."
Relieved, Xiaoyu nodded, "Alright, I’ve heard Ming Lake is cool and comfortable. Maybe the princess should go there? The little princess also wanted to visit."
"That sounds good."
News of the outing thrilled Ah Guai. She chatted excitedly all the way there, narrating stories to Xin He’s belly bump for ages.
Even Xiaoyu teased, "The little master might turn out to be a chatterbox after being born, especially with the little princess talking to him all day."
Xin He gave a small smile, but then she heard the faint sound of horse hooves. Her keen hearing enabled her to tell it wasn’t from their horse carriage. Subconsciously, she pulled the curtain of the carriage window, turning her head back to look.
Among the lush bamboo groves, underneath the dense mixture of branches and leaves, she could vaguely make out a familiar figure riding a black horse, his gaze fixed on the gradually receding carriage.
Xin He hesitated slightly. She guessed it was him. He did come to say goodbye in the end, though he didn’t utter a word and only watched from afar. She could feel everything.
Xin He didn’t ask the carriage to stop. She just looked back at the figure becoming more and more distant and smiled warmly, her radiant countenance seeming especially warm under the glow of the sun.
Li Nan’s hand holding the reins tightened briefly, lightening some of the weight in his heart. He looked at her once, saw her smile, and although they didn’t exchange any words, he felt that he could leave, that he could leave in peace.
Li Nan pursed his lips, pulled the reins, turned the horse around and then drove the horse away.
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