Chapter 119
Jiang Yiyi sneaked onto the island. She was young and didn't know that she needed a household registration booklet to get married, so she didn't know she had to sneak her household registration booklet with her.
She did write a letter to her family asking for the marriage, but her family was angry with her and insisted that they would not give her the household registration book until after they went home to hold the wedding. They also repeatedly told her to keep herself clean, but Jiang Yiyi threw the letter into the sea and ignored her parents' words.
Li Mao naturally disagreed with breaking up. They were already husband and wife, and breaking up was almost like a divorce.
"I lied to you. Nothing happened between us the first time we were in the guesthouse." Seeing that he refused to agree, Jiang Yiyi gritted her teeth and told the truth.
Li Mao was stunned. "So, the time you said you had your period was actually your first time?"
Jiang Yiyi nodded, "Yes! I lied to you twice. I lied first, so you don't need to take responsibility."
It is impossible for Li Mao, a grown man, to break up with a girl just because of two lies that made her suffer from it. Besides, no matter which one was true or false, he was her first man and should take full responsibility.
I just thought Jiang Yiyi was talking in anger, so I coaxed her as usual.
But this time Jiang Yiyi insisted on breaking up. Li Mao did not notice any subtle difference in her attitude. He thought she was making a fuss like a spoiled child. He got angry and said, "Break up if we want to!" Then he moved back to the barracks.
But he didn't say that he really ignored Jiang Yiyi. He still came to coax her from time to time, but Jiang Yiyi just wouldn't give in. Seeing that Jiang Yiyi was making a fuss this time, Li Mao got really angry for a moment and made up his mind to leave her alone for two days before coaxing her.
Jiang Yiyi did not tell Li Mao that she had already packed her luggage and was ready to leave the island and go home.
After hearing this, the sisters-in-law started to coax her, or rather, they were sharing their experiences.
Sister Li, who was the most enthusiastic and had the deepest understanding of military marriage, was still the first to speak, "Sister Yiyi... Never mind, I'll make an exception today and call you Nannan according to our custom. I'm going to say something you may not want to hear, I'm so jealous of you!
Twenty years old is the best age! No need to take care of the elderly or children, healthy and free from diseases, and the only thing you can focus on is love. It's great!
Life is so long, and such pure and passionate love only comes once!
Li Mao said something wrong, he said that all sisters-in-law are very independent and can live like a family on their own. But this must be the advantage that all sisters-in-law, at least the vast majority of them, are most reluctant to be praised.
Just like a silkworm breaking out of its cocoon or a cicada leaving its shell, this is an advantage that can only be developed after experiencing absolute pain and suffering. It is a necessary baptism for being a military wife and is earned through countless tears behind the scenes.
In fact, for me, it doesn’t matter whether it is hard or not. Living a healthy life is more important than anything else.”
If her husband were still alive, she would be willing to endure all the suffering in this world.
The other sister-in-law nodded, "Yes! Who wasn't a cute girl before getting married? Marrying them means 'After many years of being a daughter-in-law, you finally become a mother-in-law!' In fact, my family's conditions are not bad. When I went on blind dates, there were many people with better conditions than my husband. I just liked him. I felt particularly safe with him, and I was particularly proud to take him out. When people saw him, they all said, 'You found a partner who is a soldier?! That's great! The boy is handsome and energetic!' I was also very happy to hear that! I felt particularly honored. It was only after I got married that I realized the price of this honor.
If I stayed in my hometown, I would have to live with his parents and family. Without him as a middleman, it was really hard to live in a strange family. There were many children in his family and they didn't even have a room. Later, when he was qualified to follow the army, I followed him.
I thought it was all right now, right? A family of three living together. But it was still useless. He was away from home most of the time, never told me where he was going, and couldn't tell me when asked. I just moved to a different place to be a "living widow".
I was unfamiliar with the place and couldn't find a place to buy groceries. My child fell ill in the middle of the night and I was too embarrassed to go to the sanitation center. I walked alone on the dark road with my child on my back, crying as I walked.
Before I got married, I would ask my mother to accompany me even when I woke up at night. After I got married, I could walk more than ten kilometers at night by myself.
This was all forced upon you. You guys still quarreled less because he accompanied you, I can only say that you are still young! "
"In fact, I think you are lucky to be able to see each other often. I was three months pregnant when he was on a mission. He didn't come back until the child was almost one year old. When the father and son met for the first time, our son was gone!
During this period, I lived in my parents' home. Because we had obtained the marriage certificate but had not yet had time to hold the wedding, it was not convenient for me to go to my husband's home. Everyone in the production team knew that his situation was special, but no one laughed at me for having a child out of wedlock. On the contrary, many girls envied me!
They said that if you marry into a husband's family, you have to look after the in-laws' faces, and it's much better to be in your own family. Even if I don't earn work points, his allowance is enough to support me. I don't have to worry about food and drink, I just need to take care of the children, and I don't have to serve a man. They said they also want to find a man like this, and there is not much difference between being married and not being married, and they are free.
But what is the purpose of marriage? Isn't it to start a small family? Who wants to be a living widow taking care of children? I have a brother and a sister-in-law in my mother's family. Even if I pay for the living expenses every month and take care of the child myself without my mother and me, my sister-in-law will inevitably have opinions after a long time.
During my pregnancy, I had an argument with my sister-in-law, who was clamoring to go back to her parents' home. My mother scolded me to appease her. She also said, "Go back to your Liu family! Don't stay in our house and make our family restless."
Even though I knew my mother didn't really mean it and was just trying to reassure my sister-in-law, I was still very hurt.
That night I hid in the back of the house and cried secretly for a long time. I really wanted him to appear in front of me, hug me, and take me back to our home.
On the surface, I am no different in my parents' home than before I got married. But in reality, some details in life tell me that I am just a guest in my parents' home.
For example, during festivals, my parents would ask me to go to my in-laws' house, especially after the birth of my child, I had to go on Little New Year's Day and New Year's Day as well as the Mid-Autumn Festival.
When I walked around the village, I saw acquaintances who would ask me from time to time, "Why are you still in our production team? Why don't you go back to your old Liu family?"
They didn't mean any harm, they were just chatting casually, but sometimes it sounded really harsh.
When I was about seven months pregnant, the old people said that it was the time when the baby's hair grew. I felt bloated in my stomach after eating a little. I couldn't sleep because of the fever. I sat at the door of the house at two or three in the middle of the night, watching the moon and feeding mosquitoes, crying secretly. I really missed him at that time! I missed him very much!
I went to my husband's house to recuperate after giving birth, because it is a custom in my place that girls are not allowed to stay at home to recuperate after giving birth, as it is considered bad luck and unlucky for her parents' family.
My parents-in-law were not familiar with me, but they served me very attentively, like a distinguished guest. I can't say it was bad, but I felt very reserved and uncomfortable. However, they all said that it was because my parents-in-law favored sons over daughters, and I gave birth to a son, so I was treated like this because of my son's status.
During the confinement period, I had a high fever due to milk duct obstruction. In the middle of the night, I had a fever so severe that my whole body ached, but I still had to get up to feed my baby. I had a breakdown at one point, and I slapped my baby through the swaddling clothes, crying and asking him why he didn't feel sorry for me.
After the beating, I regretted it. The child was innocent. He was so young that he didn't understand anything. When the child cried, I cried too. My mother-in-law, who had a slight cough, said she had a cold and was afraid of infecting the child, so she only gave me food. If I had a fever, wouldn't I infect the child?
The most annoying thing is that after waiting so long for a man to come back, it’s worse than him not coming back.
Before he came back, I had a glimmer of hope in my heart. I always felt that I should just wait a little longer and endure a little longer. When he came back, everything would be fine as the three of us would be together.
In fact, he had never seen my big belly, nor had he seen a newborn baby. Suddenly, he had a one-year-old son, and it was as if I was a widow who remarried with a child.
My son is like my son instead of his own. I understand his discomfort in becoming a father all of a sudden, but it is inevitable that he feels lost.
In addition, when he came back from vacation, we lived with my parents-in-law. I don't know why my mother-in-law, who was usually quite reasonable, suddenly became stingy. If I said something wrong, she would cry and complain to my husband as if I was bullying her.
After repeated quarrels, the little affection we had at the beginning...is long gone! Let's live together! It's not bad on the island, there are subsidies and we don't have to worry about the in-laws. Isn't married life just about firewood, rice, oil and salt? Just turn a blind eye and let it go."
"Every family has its own problems. It was the same for me. When I gave birth, I was in the army with my husband. He happened to be on a mission, so I went to the hospital by myself. When I went to the office to find the doctor to arrange for hospitalization, the doctors heard that I came alone, without even a family member, and all looked up at me. Really, it's not an exaggeration at all. Everyone in the office looked at me, and the sympathetic eyes... I still remember it to this day. When they heard that my husband was a soldier, the doctors were particularly accommodating and asked me to sign the surgery notice while I was conscious. This was to prevent no one from signing for me when the birth was switched from normal to cesarean.
I was lucky, I gave birth to the baby myself. When I was in so much pain that I cried and screamed, I cursed the baby's father by name. Fortunately, he came to take care of me after I gave birth. "
Jiang Yiyi was stunned when she heard this. She really didn't know that being a military wife would be so hard. In the end, the grievance and resentment in her heart disappeared.
Xu Wen also listened carefully to this peaceful and calm "complaint meeting".
Every time the sister-in-law said this, her attitude was particularly calm, without tears or ups and downs in her tone.
Song Baoying also talked about her own experience, and finally said: "I am very glad that I stayed on the island. I realized that we are all the same. Otherwise, I would probably still be a complaining woman in my hometown."
Xu Wen found that most of these sisters-in-law were from cities or had better family conditions. People like Wang Lingling did not speak.
Xu Wen asked curiously, "Sister Lingling, are you all not dissatisfied with anything?"
Wang Lingling scratched her head and smiled naively, "I have little education and no culture. I don't understand love and romance. My parents and the matchmaker said he was good, so I married him. We were poor and even food was a problem. A man who could make money was a good man, and it didn't matter whether he was at home or not. I didn't think as much as my sisters-in-law did. Compared with other young wives in the production team, I was a happy one. The father of the child could make money and support a large family. He worked so hard, so it was reasonable for me to be a little tired at home. I never thought about whether I was wronged or not!"
When you are full and warm, you will think about sex.
When you can't even afford food and shelter, who has the time to talk about love?
Xu Wen thought that it was probably because Wang Lingling was simple and honest that she had fewer worries.
She thought about it and asked the sisters-in-law who had experienced many hardships and grievances, "Sisters-in-law, do you regret it? Do you regret marrying them?"
The sister-in-law whose child saw his father for the first time when he was one year old said, "No regrets! What is there to regret? Everything has two sides! I went through a lot of hard times with him. But I can't just remember the hardship I went through and forget his kindness.
Our child's father is a very considerate person. From the time we met until now, all the quarrels were caused by me getting angry on my own. He is not good at speaking, but he is very kind to me. He will remember the food I like to eat, and sometimes on his way back from a mission, he will bring some back for me if it is convenient.
Once, he accompanied a comrade to see a doctor, and on the way back, he took the bus to buy me a bag of snacks. He was willing to spend money on me, and although he might not be as good as other fathers in treating his children, he was very nice to me.
"Yes! They are all very stupid! But they are all very considerate. My son is the same, and he is also very good to my parents. Once he was on vacation and my father was sick. Without saying a word, he stayed in the hospital for two days. The people in the next bed thought he was his son.
One time my dad drank too much and vomited, and I couldn't stand the smell, so he cleaned it up. People from our place who saw him praised him as a good son-in-law!"
"My husband is probably an exception. He is not stupid at all and is very smooth-talking. So poor! My parents were a little reluctant when we went on a blind date at first, thinking that people like him must be unreliable. In fact, he is just a little humorous. He is good at talking and dealing with people. He came to our house once before the marriage and made all the aunts and uncles like him.
We still have arguments now, but I really don’t regret it. My family also says that you can’t judge a person by his appearance, he is very reliable! ”
“…”
So it turned from a complaining conference into a praising conference.
Xu Wen listened carefully.
The soldiers described by the sisters-in-law, whether good or bad, are different from those described by the general public.
In the eyes of ordinary people, every soldier is strong and resolute, as if they have steel tendons and bones, and they are not afraid of injury, illness, or death!
The soldiers in the sisters-in-law's mouths are all flesh and blood. They may have more or less shortcomings, but they are more responsible. No matter how many complaints the sisters-in-law have, they are like a towering mountain, giving people peace of mind and support.
Jiang Yiyi listened carefully to what all her sisters-in-law said.
Finally, Sister Li advised, "Yiyi, you see, everyone has gone through this! If Platoon Leader Li comes to advise you again, don't lose your temper with him."
Jiang Yiyi shook her head, "I didn't lose my temper. A forced melon is not sweet. Before today, I felt that I had done my best in our relationship. Even if we broke up, it would be his regret. He didn't know how to cherish me.
After listening to what the sisters-in-law said today, I realized that I actually didn't understand him. My love for him was also very superficial.
Even if I stayed on the island, it would not be good for our relationship or our future. He would hate me more and more, and I would hate myself more and more.
I want to go home and continue my studies. I want to be myself first instead of being Li Mao's Yiyi, and then consider our relationship.
I think as long as I work hard enough and can be like Xu Wen's sister-in-law, I will love him only after I love myself! If he is not married by then, we will continue our relationship. "
"Well said!" Song Baoying applauded, "It's a pity that I'm over 30! Otherwise I would learn from you, no, learn from Sister Xu Wen! Be self-reliant, be strong in yourself and don't be a man's appendage!"
Xu asked: "..."
Why are we talking about her again?
Xu Wen waved his hands hurriedly: "Sisters-in-law, please don't be like this! I really don't deserve this! I'm afraid that your company commanders, platoon leaders, and squad leaders will come to my house in the middle of the night to smash the windows and say that I have led you astray! Besides, I'm really not as good as you think!"
She has only lived two lives, so she can let it go and calm down.
She just wanted to sit back and relax for a few years, and then work hard to achieve financial freedom after reform and opening up.
So, she is really just an ordinary person, not great at all and a little bit salty.
Everyone was amused by Xu's question.
Everyone could see that Xu Wen was serious, but everyone felt that she was being modest.
Xu asked: "..."
"Sister-in-law, have you ever had any disagreements or conflicts with Lu Ying?"
"Sister-in-law, have you never felt wronged or sad since you met?"
"That's right! Sister-in-law, everyone has said it. Can you also share your experience of meeting and falling in love with Lu Ying?!"
“…”
"It seems there is really no contradiction!" Xu Wen blinked and rubbed Dongsheng's head with his hand, "Maybe it's because I don't have to go through ten months of pregnancy and confinement like you guys, and I still have such a sensible and warm-hearted son?!"