Chapter 1
Actually, he doesn't dislike being touched by men.
To be precise, since the man never had the right to decide whether she was touched or not, or whether she disliked him or not, she naturally couldn't develop feelings of dislike.
His name is Xingliu. He knows very well that this is not his original name, but a name is just something used to call a person and does not really represent anything, so he accepts the new name very calmly.
He was sold by his impoverished father, who was on the verge of starvation, when he was four years old. He was eventually sold to the Yanwu Imperial Palace and became a male prostitute waiting for the emperor to have his pleasure with him.
He had inquired about news from his hometown, but learned that his unfortunate parents had passed away and his siblings had scattered.
When he was young, he had heard his parents mention that his family was originally one of the top merchants in the Xia Yu Kingdom. His aunt, his father's eldest sister, was the Yang Guifei Consort of the Xia Yu Kingdom, and her son, Han Guang, was named Crown Prince, only one step away from the Xia Yu Emperor.
That was the time when their family was at its richest and most prosperous; everyone knew them—the future Xia Yuhuang's relatives.
Unfortunately, their good fortune was short-lived. Consort Yang was exposed for poisoning the Empress and was sentenced to death; Han Guang was banished from Xia Yu Kingdom, and the family's glory vanished. Afterwards, merchants in the clan faced difficulties from officials, and many officials were demoted. Within a few years, their family had declined significantly.
In the end, to avoid disaster, most of the clan moved away from Xia Yu Kingdom, while this family moved to Yan Wu Kingdom.
Unfortunately, moving to Yanwu Kingdom did not fill their stomachs. Within a few years, they were so hungry that they had to sell their children to survive. After all their daughters were sold, their youngest son was also taken away by brokers.
It would be a lie for a male prostitute to say he didn't know what sexual pleasure was. Even though Emperor Yanwu had indulged in excessive sexual activity, he could still reward his ministers with male prostitutes or have young and strong men perform for him.
Xingliu is very beautiful. His beauty has brought him much favor and abundant rewards, but it has also brought him a lot of torment.
However, his laziness and easygoing nature led him to give up after his first failed attempt. He figured every job has its hardships, and with food and clothing in the palace, there was nothing wrong with that.
Until I met that person...
Mo Yan was the one who led Xing Liu to escape Yanwu Kingdom to realize his ideals, and that person was the beginning of everything.
When Xingliu first entered the palace, he was very well-behaved. He excelled in music, chess, poetry, and painting, and his dancing was also exquisite. His dance teacher also taught him martial arts and internal energy cultivation techniques, allowing him to display both strength and beauty in a balanced way.
It wasn't that he was particularly well-behaved, but rather that he was naturally interested in those things and had a natural talent for them.
Looking back, in some ways he was very similar to his cousin Han Guang, whom he had never met. Both were naturally intelligent but had little luck in love, or rather, neither of them were people who would leave a good name in history.
His simple life did not last long, less than ten years... In other words, he was only five years old when he entered the palace. The emperor was old and perverted, but he was not a pedophile. He had little interest in children and did not have the strange habit of binding the feet of male prostitutes.
Therefore, Xingliu's childhood was relatively carefree; at the very least, he had no shortage of food and clothing.
Good days always come to an end. When he was twelve years old, he was assigned to serve as a guard who had rendered meritorious service in protecting the emperor.
The so-called merit of protecting the emperor was nothing more than catching him just as he was about to fall down the stairs. Xingliu really didn't understand what was so special about it and what reward he deserved.
Xingliu only realized why when he arrived at the banquet... That year was the first time he drank alcohol, and also the first time he was defiled in front of everyone. The perverted old emperor's hobby was watching people play with male prostitutes.
Back at his lodgings, he remembered that he knew martial arts and had once drawn a map of the palace for fun. With that map, he could escape the palace and never have to face such terrible things again.
Upon seeing the height of the palace walls and realizing how poor his own lightness skill was after attempting a jump, it seemed only natural that Xingliu would be captured and taken back. Thinking this, a beautiful yet tragic smile appeared on Xingliu's lips as he was dragged by the guards to the old emperor.
The old emperor neither beat nor killed him, yet those who engage in violence and killing will always leave their mark on his flawless body.
The only punishment was to lock him in bed, forbidding him from getting out of bed on his own, forbidding him from moving around, forbidding him from... in order to make him naturally lose the ability to walk and never be able to escape again.
Xingliu wasn't the type to drive himself into dead ends. He was fine with being punished; at least he had people carrying him in sedan chairs and serving him when he went out. Besides, it wasn't said that he couldn't read, recite poetry, or play chess.
Over time, he became what everyone would later see as the laziest person imaginable, Xingliu.
I met that person after he got into the habit of sleeping whenever he wanted, regardless of day or night.
It was raining the day we met; the drizzle was like mist and rain at the same time.
He was placed on a long couch by the lotus pond, his eyes half-open and half-closed, as if he were asleep and awake at the same time.
Only Xingliu knew that he was perfectly awake, but he was too lazy to open his eyes fully. Besides, there was a unique charm in squinting at the hibiscus blooming in the mist.
The man slowly approached, saw his reclining figure as if asleep, paused for a moment, took a step back, and prepared to walk away.
"How about we enjoy this beautiful time together?" Xingliu spoke softly, in his uniquely gentle tone.
He felt the man smile slightly and slowly walk to one side of the couch and sit down.
Strangely enough, Xingliu knew he hadn't actually seen it, but he just felt that person smile. He could even sense that person had a gentle face, lowered eyebrows, and a kind smile... So he opened his eyes to confirm his imagination.
The man was indeed smiling, and he had a kind face, but his eyebrows were extremely thick, thick yet not messy, dark yet smooth, as if painted with a brush, with just the right amount of light and dark.
"Why didn't you sleep a little longer?" the man said.
You could hear the apology in that person's voice; you could tell he was genuinely afraid of disturbing Xingliu.
He simply knows, or rather, he can read this person's mind.
Xingliu gazed quietly at that gentle face without responding.
He stared at the man with a look of surprise, finding it hard to believe that such a gentle face and a sincere heart could still exist in this corrupt palace.
'My name is Fei Yu, which means 'not quite rain,' Fei Yu said, looking down at Xing Liu on the couch with an innocent smile.
Xingliu didn't say anything, he was stunned.
Could this be the legendary "emerging from the mud unsullied," or perhaps a result of two negatives making a positive?
The pure and innocent person before me was none other than Fei Yu, the beloved son of the perverted emperor and the ruthless empress, who had a 90% chance of ascending the throne of the Yanwu Kingdom.
However… judging from the scent of incense on his body, the incense used exclusively by the Yanwu royal family, this person really is Fei Yu—the innocent son of the perverted emperor and the cruel empress.
'Aren't you curious how I ended up here?' Xingliu couldn't help but suspect Feiyu's naivety, fearing that Feiyu's innocence was just an act, and that he himself would be the one to suffer in the end.
"Those who are here are either brothers, cousins, or even court officials. Eunuchs wouldn't dare to be so bold. There are also the male prostitutes kept by their fathers or brothers."
Fei Yu spoke calmly, leaving Xing Liu unable to discern his true intentions. So Xing Liu remained silent, slowly propping himself up on his elbows, and carefully observing Fei Yu, hoping to discern the truth from falsehood.
'What difference does it make which one? You said we should enjoy the beautiful scenery together. We are all just flower admirers here.' Fei Yu smiled again, a gentle and pure smile, like a lotus before a Buddha's seat.
Gazing at Fei Yu's genuine purity, Xing Liu remained silent for a long time, feeling something seep into her heart and stir up ripples... 'Yes, we are all just flower admirers.' Xing Liu smiled as well.
"Actually, I came to pick flowers," Fei Yu continued, her eyes filled with deep apology.
Xingliu was stunned for a moment before bursting out with a laugh, her limp body collapsing into Feiyu's arms.
Fei Yu simply patted her adorable little brother's head, her expression utterly helpless, completely baffled as to what Xing Liu was laughing about.
That year, Xingliu turned thirteen. He was a young age, but his heart seemed old. Feiyu became his timely help.
After that day, they met from time to time. At first, it was by chance. Although the lotus pond was beautiful, it was in a remote location and few people from the palace came here. Only they enjoyed the flowers and moon here.
When the lotus flowers faded in summer and the plum blossoms began to bloom by the pond in winter, his meeting with Fei Yu became a tacit understanding.
Because of his unparalleled beauty, Xingliu was often summoned by the old emperor. As a prince, Feiyu also had many things to do, but whenever Xingliu had free time, he would always ask someone to take him to the pond to wait. If Feiyu happened not to come, it would be nice to quietly enjoy the scenery.
He always loved to lie on the couch, half-opening his eyes and letting the scenery pass by. Time was so quiet that he could clearly hear the sound of flowers blooming. Of course, he also never missed Fei Yu's footsteps.
Plum blossoms bloom and fade, spring rain falls gently, tiny hibiscus buds sprout, and another year has passed.
They would meet from time to time, playing chess, sipping tea, painting lotus flowers, or even just sitting in silence, one half-asleep and the other smiling as they admired the lotus blossoms, and they were content with that.
Xingliu never mentioned his own identity, while Feiyu would occasionally say a word or two, but even the most serious matters were spoken of in a nonchalant manner.
Nevertheless, Fei Yu never asked Xing Liu's name. He truly treated Xing Liu as a flower admirer, not caring about his identity, his past, or his future.
Xingliu enjoyed this relationship; Feiyu helped him regain his self-respect and dignity.
As time passed, Xingliu knew he had fallen in love with someone. Even though he had never tasted love before, he still understood... he had fallen in love with Feiyu.
During the days when the lotus flowers were in full bloom, the old emperor returned to his hometown.
The once-favored male prostitutes suddenly lost their power, and the newly favored eunuchs and palace maids would often come to "take care" of their former masters; Xingliu was no exception.
However, he felt neither pain nor itch from those people's words. He only had one thing on his mind: finally free from the old emperor's clutches, he could now meet Fei Yu openly.
At that time, Xingliu was unaware that his happiness was about to end. Xingliu, who should not be naive, actually forgot that Feiyu was the Empress's son and he was the late Emperor's lover. What kind of open and aboveboard meeting was that? He was lucky he wasn't beaten to death!
After a brief period of palace intrigue, the Empress, supported by the Imperial Guards, pushed Fei Yu onto the dragon throne. Fei Yu, with her still gentle face, watched her mother execute the court officials, powerless to stop her.
When they last met by the lotus pond, Fei Yu said, "Thinking about her past grievances, I couldn't bring myself to ask them to be let go. Besides, not all those people were kind; after all, the thrones of emperors throughout history were built on blood. Being soft-hearted towards the enemy is being kind to oneself."
Despite the cold-blooded and cruel words, Fei Yu always had a hint of sorrow on her face when she said them.
Xingliu seemed to understand Feiyu's inner turmoil. Facing her beloved family and relatives, the immense burden of filial piety weighed heavily on her head, no wonder Feiyu couldn't turn things around.
Looking at Fei Yu, the emotions that had been lingering in Xing Liu's heart for a long time finally surfaced, causing Xing Liu's chest to tighten.
Lying on the couch, he slowly sat up and moved closer to Fei Yu... Fei Yu's lips, which were of moderate thickness, were so close that Xing Liu only needed to raise his head to touch them. He closed his eyes and waited for the moment of contact.
He could imagine what Fei Yu's lips would taste like—a warm touch, unmistakably soft, with the fragrance of pond flowers drifting into their bodies on the gentle breeze… But Fei Yu said something at that moment that caused Xing Liu to miss his chance to kiss her, something he only managed to do years later.
'I have someone I like.'
Even with her eyes closed, Xingliu could still feel Feiyu's gentle smile, a hearty laugh, as vivid as when they first met—damn, vivid!
When he opened his eyes again, two lines of tears streamed down Xingliu's face. He had almost forgotten the person he loved to cry.
"What's wrong?" Fei Yu asked in surprise.
"I'm so happy for you." Xingliu smiled sweetly, and another tear fell.
"Thank you." Fei Yu said sincerely, her eyes still filled with gentleness.
He stroked Xingliu's face and gently kissed Xingliu's cheek, as affectionately as an older brother kissing his beloved younger brother.
Xingliu trembled suddenly as something flowed into his body from Feiyu's lips—something both familiar and unfamiliar to him… Unlike before, he not only guessed Feiyu's outward reaction but also glimpsed the depths of Feiyu's heart, emotions that even Feiyu herself might not understand.
No way? Fei Yu likes him? She likes someone else while also loving him?
He must be mistaken. How could that be? He couldn't possibly see into Fei Yu's inner world. He's not a superhuman; it's all just his imagination!
"Do you...like me?" Xingliu asked in a hoarse voice with great difficulty.
Fei Yu quickly turned her head away, creating a distance as vast as a desert.
"I became the Flame Emperor." After a long silence, Fei Yu said with a long sigh, "Whether you want to or not, you will see court officials and imperial relatives, but you are not among them... If it were anyone else who heard these words, they would probably cry their eyes out, but the person who heard these words is Xing Liu, who never gets bogged down in trivial matters."
'If I weren't a slave, would you like me? If your sister and mother didn't harbor such deep jealousy and hatred, would you love me?' Xingliu laughed, her smile as radiant as the stars in the sky.
He knew that Fei Yu's mother, the former Empress and now the Empress Dowager, harbored deep resentment towards them, the male prostitutes who had attracted the late emperor's attention. She believed that without their seduction of the late emperor, his favor would still have remained with her, and Fei Yu would have been able to smoothly ascend to the position of Crown Prince without having to rely on the Imperial Guards for help.
Xingliu once commented on these thoughts, and his comment was only three words: "Foolish woman."
However, among the millions of women in the harem, how many are truly clever enough to protect themselves? She wasn't really that stupid; at least she helped Fei Yu ascend the throne.
"I have someone I like," Fei Yu said, turning her face away.
Xingliu's smile widened again. This time, he clearly sensed Feiyu's thoughts, a very strange feeling.
Fei Yu buried her love for him so deep because she loved him very deeply!
I fell in love with him even before I fell in love with that person, because I knew the outcome beforehand, so I preferred to deny my feelings and let my love sink deep into my heart, hidden from the light of day.
Xingliu found Feiyu increasingly endearing. Didn't he know that fate is something one can create oneself? What is a foreseen ending? Aren't they all paths that people walk?
Gently, Xingliu closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss Feiyu's slightly cold cheek.
Fei Yu remained silent, but she could tell from his slight trembling how agitated he was. Giving up someone he deeply loved was not an easy thing for Fei Yu, it never was.
After the light kiss ended, Xingliu lay back down on the tatami. The poolside remained quiet, as if nothing had happened.
The only difference is Fei Yu's wildly beating heart and Xing Liu's vow made in his heart.
If his status as a slave was the reason Fei Yu dared not want him, and if the Empress Dowager's jealousy was the reason Fei Yu dared not love him, then after the Empress Dowager's death and after he was freed from his slave status, he would obtain Fei Yu.
He wanted Fei Yu to know that everything in the world can be obtained with effort and perseverance.
Of course, the method is also very important, and unfortunately, he was clever enough to know how to get everything he wanted.
"Everyone has a reason to exist, everyone has their value, and everyone deserves respect," Fei Yu murmured as if in a dream.
Xingliu listened quietly without saying a word. He understood what Feiyu wanted to say; he truly understood.
"You are, Mother is, and so is my father; I can't betray her for you," Fei Yu said apologetically.
"It's okay, I said I like this about you." Xingliu laughed again, a slightly mischievous laugh.
He already knew what to do, and Fei Yu's words couldn't sway his decision.
This is how it all began.
So he spent all the silver he had saved in the palace to buy Moyan, and so he fled to Zhaoyang Kingdom, becoming the most beautiful flower in Panrong Tower.
After fleeing to Zhaoyang Kingdom, he eventually heard news of Feiyu.
It is said that Fei Yu expressed her love to a civil official, and after their lovemaking, the official returned home, left a letter, and committed suicide.
He said he was unwilling to suffer humiliation and would rather die than betray his principles, and hoped that Emperor Yanwu Feiyu would not harm his people.
Fei Yu was, after all, a gentle but stubborn man. When the death of the civil official caused a great uproar in the city, he announced that he would observe a three-year mourning period for him.
The Empress Dowager was so angry that she fell ill and never recovered. Fei Yu was dethroned and the Third Prince Qin Lei was enthroned instead. Later, the position of the Third Prince was continued by Qin Yu.
The Empress Dowager was ordered to be executed by Qin Lei's mother in revenge for her husband; but not Yu... Amidst the calls for his execution from the court officials, only the current Emperor Yanwu, Qin Lei, was unwilling to lay a hand on him, and merely placed him under house arrest in a corner of the palace.
Xingliu thought Feiyu was silly, adorably silly, for he was keeping a mourning for someone who didn't love him.
But looking back, he was just as foolish. He was famous for three things at Panrong Tower: his unparalleled beauty, his laziness, and that he performed but did not sell his body.
He also remained chaste for Fei Yu, waiting for Fei Yu alone for the rest of his life.
Since Fei Yu said she would observe three years of mourning, he would let her observe three years of mourning, and after three years Fei Yu would be his.
absolute!
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