pain
Wu Jingyun was nestled in the soft sofa in the living room, with an old-fashioned romance movie playing on the huge LCD screen in front of her.
In the scene, the female protagonist has tears in her eyes, and the subtitles slowly appear: "[Getting close to you means getting close to pain, staying away from you means staying away from happiness.]" She was feeling a pang of sadness at this scene when a slightly urgent knocking on the door broke the silence.
As soon as Wu Jingyun opened the door, she saw Su Jing standing outside, looking more disheveled than she had ever seen before. His hair was messy, there were dark circles under his eyes, his eyes were bloodshot and filled with alarming red veins, and stubble was growing on his chin. He looked as if all his energy had been drained away, exuding a weariness and dejection that seeped from his very bones.
Wu Jingyun was shocked: "Xiao Jing?! What's wrong, son? Come in quickly!" She reached out to pull him, but her fingertips touched his arm and she was startled by the unusually hot temperature.
Su Jing walked in silently, bringing with her the chill of the outside air. Her eyes subconsciously searched the living room, and she asked in a hoarse, dry voice, "Where's Aunt Zheng?"
Seeing his dejected appearance, Wu Jingyun replied with heartache, "Xiao Chu came to our house a couple of days ago and took Shuyi away. He said the film crew was about to wrap up, and he was too embarrassed to bother us for too long..." Before she could finish speaking, she saw Su Jing's eyes darken, and he turned around as if he wanted to leave.
"Hey! Your dad just went out to play chess with his friends. Son, you've finally come home. What do you want to eat? Mom will cook something special for you!" Wu Jingyun hurriedly grabbed him, but was startled again by the high fever emanating from his arm. "Why are you so hot? Do you have a fever?"
Su Jing felt a wave of dizziness and weakness. When Wu Jingyun pulled him, he stumbled, his vision went black, and he collapsed to the ground.
"Xiao Jing! Xiao Jing!" Wu Jingyun was terrified and quickly squatted down to call out to him. She frantically called her private doctor, Chen Jin.
Chen Jin arrived quickly. After examining Su Jing, he frowned. "His fever is 39.8 degrees Celsius! He must not have been eating or resting properly lately. His body is severely exhausted, and coupled with his emotional fluctuations, he couldn't hold on any longer." He skillfully put Su Jing on an IV drip to reduce the fever, prescribed medicine, and then turned to Wu Jingyun helplessly, saying, "Auntie, you really have to have a good talk with him this time. I've told him countless times before, but he never listens. Every time, he either stays up all night filming and catches a cold or fever, or he doesn't eat properly and gets gastroenteritis. You've finally returned to the country, so you'll have to keep a close eye on him this time!"
Wu Jingyun responded repeatedly. After seeing Chen Jin off, she looked at her son's pale and haggard sleeping face by the bedside, feeling heartbroken beyond measure. She quickly went to the kitchen to cook porridge and prepare a meal.
Su Jing slept fitfully all afternoon, only waking up slowly in the evening. Opening his eyes, he saw Wu Jingyun sitting by the bed, carefully wiping the sweat from his forehead with a damp, warm towel. The afterglow of the setting sun shone through the gaps in the curtains, casting a gentle glow on her.
Seeing that he was awake, Wu Jingyun's face immediately showed a mixture of joy and worry: "Awake? Do you feel any better? Wait, Mom will bring you some porridge." Before Su Jing could answer, she quickly brought a bowl of soft and sweet rice porridge from the kitchen, sat by the bed, and patiently blew on it to cool it down before feeding it to him.
Su Jing obediently opened her mouth, and the warm porridge slid down her throat, soothing the emptiness in her stomach, but it couldn't suppress the sourness in her heart.
Looking at his vulnerable state, Wu Jingyun asked softly, "What happened, son? Did you... have a fight with Xiao Chu?"
These words were like opening the floodgates of emotion. Su Jing lowered her eyelashes and remained silent.
Wu Jingyun put the porridge aside, held his hand hanging by the bedside, and gently comforted him, "It's okay, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. Mom just hopes you won't keep everything bottled up inside. No matter what happens, nothing is more important than your health, you know?"
After saying that, Wu Jingyun tucked Su Jing in: "You should rest for a while, son. Mom will go check on how the pork rib soup is going. You can take another nap and then get up to eat something. Didn't you love Mom's pork rib soup when you were little? I'll make sure you have a good meal today..."
As Wu Jingyun got up to leave, watching her retreating figure, Su Jing suddenly whispered, "Mom...maybe you're right, I really don't know how to love...I've lost him again...maybe, someone like me doesn't deserve love at all..."
Seeing him so despondent, Wu Jingyun quickly sat back down on the edge of the bed, her tone urgent and firm: "Nonsense! How could he not be good enough? As long as you are sincere, the other person will definitely feel it! Relationships require patience and learning; there's no such thing as instant success. My son is so good, how could he not be good enough?"
The pain from the fever made Su Jing's eyes sting. He looked up at Wu Jingyun's concerned yet determined face and was overwhelmed with mixed feelings.
In his previous life, he grew up in the deep palace and was used to the deceit and treachery. His mother died early, his father despised him, and even his own uncle was only used. Apart from Chu Yiran, when had he ever felt such unreserved love?
But he doesn't belong to this world; he only managed to feel a moment of care by stealing Su Jing's identity in this life.
"You...you're so good to me..." His voice was soft, with a slight, almost imperceptible tremor. "If I weren't your son, would you still be so good to me?"
"Silly child..." Wu Jingyun assumed he was delirious from the fever, a gentle smile curving her lips. "Whether you are my son or not, you are a good child..."
“But I messed everything up…” Su Jing’s throat tightened, and his consciousness gradually faded. He murmured to himself, “I wanted to be good to him, but I always used the wrong methods; I wanted to make up for the past, but I made him hate me even more; I didn’t even dare to tell him the truth, afraid that he wouldn’t leave me even the last bit of leeway…”
Wu Jingyun sighed and gently advised, "Silly child, love is never about making amends, it's about sincerity. That Chu boy may seem cold, but he's very soft-hearted. If you really want to win him back, stop trying to 'be good to him' in your own way. Listen to what he wants, give him some time, and don't push him too hard..."
She paused, then added, "Although I don't know what happened between you two before, the past is the past. Cherishing the present is the most important thing. Your stubbornness will not only torment yourself but also push him further away..."
Su Jing remained silent. Wu Jingyun's words were like a gentle knife, cutting through his stubborn exterior to reveal the unease and cowardice hidden within. He had always thought that as long as he used his identity in this life to get close to Chu Yiran again, he could cover up the past of the previous life. But he never understood that what Chu Yiran wanted was never to make amends, but to be honest.
The room was quiet for a moment, with only the faint sound of the medicine dripping from the IV drip. After an unknown amount of time, Su Jing fell asleep again and had a very long dream.
——
Meanwhile, Chu Yiran brought Zheng Shuyi back from the Su family home. The house had been deserted for a long time and felt a bit cold, but the mother and son tidied up together and quickly brought back a lively atmosphere.
Chu Yiran forced himself to stay home and rest for two days, trying to erase Su Jing from his world. But the weariness in his eyes and the occasional absent-mindedness did not escape Zheng Shuyi's notice.
"The Dream of the Past" still needs a few more shots to be filmed. Before returning to Hengdian, Zheng Shuyi spent a long time in the kitchen preparing a lot of exquisite snacks and side dishes that can be stored for a long time, and carefully packed them into airtight containers.
"Aran, take these to the film set and share them with everyone." Zheng Shuyi handed him the heavy food box, and then pointed to one of the marked boxes, "This box is for Xiaojing. He always said he liked the flavor of my cooking."
Upon hearing that name, Chu Yiran's body stiffened almost imperceptibly. He didn't take the specific food box, shifting his gaze elsewhere, his tone deliberately calm: "No need, Mom. Su Jing's scenes have already finished filming; he's not in Hengdian."
He paused, as if to draw a clear line, and then added in a low voice, it was unclear whether he was trying to persuade his mother or admonishing himself: "Once I finish filming these few more scenes, this movie will be completely over. After that... he and I probably won't have any more work-related interactions."
Zheng Shuyi put down the food box and looked at Chu Yiran with concern: "Yiran, tell Mom the truth, did you and Xiaojing have a fight? What happened between you two?"
Chu Yiran rubbed his temples in annoyance, clearly not wanting to talk more: "It's nothing. Mom, please don't make wild guesses." He took a deep breath, his tone carrying a hint of pleading and determination, "In short, from now on... please don't contact Su Jing privately anymore, and don't accept their family's kindness anymore. We... shouldn't always trouble them."
Looking at his tense profile, Zheng Shuyi's doubts deepened, but seeing her son's bad mood, she couldn't bear to ask any more questions. She just sighed softly, "Mom knows. You... take good care of yourself out there, and don't keep things bottled up inside."
Chu Yiran nodded, picked up his luggage, and turned to leave home.
The moment the doors closed, he leaned against the cold elevator wall, slowly closed his eyes, and told himself that it was over, and everything should go back to normal.
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