Chapter Fifty-Eight
"We can't delay any longer. We'll hold a press conference this afternoon and apologize in public," Nan You said.
Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the rain sliced the Huangpu River into shattered glass. The main light in the living room wasn't on; only the dim yellow glow of the floor lamp illuminated the space, with tiny dust particles floating beneath its light.
Xu Li curled up on the carpet, still wearing the black hoodie she wore during rehearsal three days ago, with the hood drawstring wrapped around her fingers, leaving white marks.
Assistant K squatted on the other side of the coffee table, her knees propped up on a stack of documents she had compiled overnight: brand contracts, public opinion reports, screenshots of fan private messages, and on top of that was an A4 sheet of paper that read "Press Conference Agenda (Tentative)". Her phone screen was on the memo app, the cursor flashing like a death knell.
Xiao K: "Ah Li, read the apology statement again. The press conference is tomorrow morning at 8:00. We leave at 7:20, get dressed at 6:00, and at 5:00—" Xu Li
"I know you got up at five to put ice on your eyes." Her throat felt like it had been sanded, and her voice was dry at the end. "Little K, do you have any throat lozenges?" Little K took out a tin box from her pocket, poured out the last two lozenges, sucked one on herself, and handed the other over.
The candy cracked softly between my teeth. The air smelled of eucalyptus leaves. "I just closed my eyes and saw a row of little red dots in my Weibo private messages, like blood. That year when I first signed with the company, Sister Nan said, 'As long as you don't do anything stupid, all these red dots can be turned into money.' Now they've come back to collect their debts."
Little K said, "Don't think about that. Let's go through the process first: enter, bow, apologize, answer questions, bow again, leave. The whole thing should take no more than fifteen minutes. The PR department has already spoken to the media, so no one will deliberately cause trouble."
Xu Li asked, "If someone asks, 'Did you pretend to be single while you were in a relationship to deceive your fans?' what should I say?" Xiao Jiang flipped the flowchart to the back, where a Q&A was written in pencil:
Q6: Did you deceive your fans?
A: I mishandled the boundaries between public and private life, and I am willing to take full responsibility. I will repay everyone with my work in the future.
"Sounds like AI."
She paused, then said, "Little K, you've been with me for years, do you believe in this kind of thing?"
“I’m not important. What’s important is to convince the brands, production companies, and advertisers. HR just messaged me saying that if you lose control of your emotions at tomorrow morning’s press conference, they will activate the ‘image risk termination clause,’ meaning all expired endorsements will not be renewed, and any unannounced S+ period dramas will be replaced.”
Xu Li chewed the candy, the bitter taste spreading to the back of her tongue. "Okay. Give me ten more minutes, I want to call Tan Yuze."
“He’s having an emergency meeting too. His agent asked him to write a ‘single status statement,’ saying it was just a gathering of friends and the photos were taken from a different angle.” She paused, seemingly realizing she had said too much, and looked down to gather her documents. “I’m outside the door, call me if you need anything.”
The door clicked shut. Xu Li held the phone to her ear, and in the long, drawn-out silence, she could hear her own heartbeat. At the thirty-seventh second, Tan Yuze answered; the background noise was loud, like he was in a car.
"Little Li Zi"
"I'm holding a press conference tomorrow morning to say that all the blame is on me. Will you... be filmed doing that?"
“No. My agent told me to fly to Hengdian tonight and join the crew first thing tomorrow morning. The film set is closed off, so the paparazzi can't take any pictures.” His voice lowered. “I'm sorry to leave you there alone.”
"Three years ago, when I took on my first leading role, you secretly slipped me a note at the wrap party that said 'See you at the top.' Now that we've reached the top, all that's below is a cliff."
“I originally planned to release it after ‘No Day’ was released… but I didn’t expect it to backfire so early.” Someone on his end urged him, “The director is calling me to do a blocking exercise, I’m hanging up now. Remember, whatever you say tomorrow morning, I’ll accept it.” The call ended.
Xu Li stared at the black screen, then suddenly laughed, a laugh that sounded like crying. She tossed her phone back onto the carpet and slid into the shadows.
Makeup artist Blake dabbed concealer on Xu Li's tear troughs and sighed softly. "Li, your dark circles are almost down to your collarbone." Xu Li closed her eyes, feeling the brush bristles brush against her like feathers.
"Blake, please don't wear sequins today. I don't want to look like I've been crying under the flash."
Blake patted his chest and said, "Don't worry, the matte finish is perfect. But you have to drink this first." He handed over a small bottle of clear liquid. "Collagen + B vitamins, specially formulated by Sister Li, to prevent hand tremors." Little K rushed in, holding her phone. "Look, the brand has already taken action."
On the screen, an international skincare brand's official Weibo account just issued a statement: "Effective immediately, all promotional collaborations with Ms. Xu Li are suspended. Thank you for your understanding." The accompanying photo is a gilded image she shot last year for Singles' Day, now covered by a gray filter, resembling a funeral portrait.
The dressing room fell silent instantly. Blake's hand trembled, and the concealer brush fell to the floor, leaving two black streaks. Xu Li bent down, picked up the brush, wiped it clean with a wet wipe, and handed it back.
“Let’s continue, we’re running out of time.” In the van, Sister Li sat in the passenger seat, her voice hoarse. “I changed the last sentence of the draft, from ‘I will strive to become a better version of myself’ to ‘I will regain trust through my work.’ It’s stronger, it sounds more confident.”
Xu Li asked, "Is there a difference?" Sister Li turned around, her eyes bloodshot. "The difference is: the former is begging for forgiveness, the latter is telling the capital, 'I can still fight.' You don't want this show to fail, do you? 'No Day' took seven months to film, on real snow-capped mountains, and you dislocated your lumbar spine three times."
Xu Li looked out the window; the guardrails of the overpass stretched out like a gray river.
"Sister Nan, what would you do if I told you I didn't want to act anymore and wanted to retire from the entertainment industry?"
“I’ll knock you out first, then have my legal team sue you for breach of contract. 37 million, you can’t afford to pay that.”
She softened her voice, "If we can get through today, everything can be discussed." The venue was a small theater hall rented by the company, which was usually used for fan meetings. Today, all the light boards had been removed, the backdrop was pure black, and there was a line of white text in the middle: Media Meeting.
Forty media outlets sat in the audience, armed with cameras and microphones. The first row was occupied by Sina, Sohu, and Tencent; the second row by marketing accounts, with countless excited faces behind the lenses. Xu Li wore a white shirt and black suit pants, her hair in a low ponytail, without any jewelry. She walked to the microphone stand, bowed deeply at a 90-degree angle, and paused for three seconds.
"Dear media friends, hello everyone. I am Xu Li. Today, I am taking up public resources to sincerely apologize to the public, fans, and partners for the recent controversies surrounding my personal life."
Her voice wasn't loud, but the microphone amplified every word, like an icicle falling onto a porcelain plate. "Over the past two years, I haven't managed the boundaries between my personal feelings and my public identity well, leaving my supporters feeling betrayed. Whatever the reason, the mistake has been made. I apologize to everyone who has been hurt. I'm sorry."
She bowed again. Reporter A (raising hand): "Did your relationship start before you said on 'Starlight Talk' that you were 'single and focused on your career'?" Xu Li
"Yes. I was already in a romantic relationship at that time, but I gave the opposite information. This is a major breach of my personal integrity."
Reporter B: "According to fan statistics, after your relationship was exposed, you lost 820,000 active followers, your Weibo reposts, likes, and comments dropped by 63%, and the estimated termination fees from brands exceeded 120 million yuan. What do you think of these figures?"
"The numbers are colder and more real than I thought. I accept all criticism and the commercial consequences."
Reporter C: "Tan Yuze's side has not responded in person so far. Does this mean you will bear all the public opinion alone?" Xu Li paused for a second, her eyelashes casting a fan-shaped shadow under her eyes.
"Relationships are a matter between two people, but the mistake was in my public statements. Therefore, I take responsibility."
Reporter D asked, "Will you break up in the future to quell the situation?" A slight commotion arose from the audience. Sister Li clenched her fists backstage. Xu Li
"Personal choices should not be traded. I apologize today because of the lie, not because of the relationship itself."
She looked up, meeting the camera's gaze directly. "I won't end a relationship to prove my innocence; that would be a secondary exploitation of our relationship and the public." A storm of flashes erupted. Xu Li bowed again. "Thank you all. I will mend the rift with my actions."
She turned and left, her back straight, her steps steady. Little K rushed over and wrapped her in a down jacket. "Temperature 36.1, not bad. The car is underground, use the staff entrance."
Xu Li asked, "Do you have any cigarettes?" Little K rolled her eyes.
"You've been abstaining for six months—" Xu Li
"Just one." Little K sighed, took a thin menthol capsule out of his pocket, lit it, and handed it to her.
The nicotine rushed down her throat, choking her and making her bend over coughing, tears streaming down her face. Little K patted her back gently, like soothing a frightened cat. Sister Li rushed over with her phone, "Look! Public opinion has reversed!"
The top trending topic on Weibo became #XuLiIsResponsible#, with people commenting in the real-time square: "At least he didn't shirk responsibility, which is better than a certain male celebrity."
But the second post was #XuLiDidNotMentionBreakupAtPressConference#, and the topic was still filled with criticism.
Nan You said, "Don't be too happy yet. Brands only care about data. I just received news that brand A, specializing in skincare, is insisting on terminating the contract, while brand B, specializing in jewelry, is still observing and says they want to see online reviews within 72 hours." Xu Li stubbed out her cigarette on the cap of her mineral water bottle, her voice tired but calm.
"Sister Nan, please give me three days off, I want to sleep."
Nanyou said, "Okay, but after you finish sleeping, you have to go to Hengdian to reshoot the snow mountain scene for 'No Day.' The crew has already postponed the filming by three days because of you, and if it's delayed any longer, it will exceed the budget."
The windshield wipers swung back and forth like a metronome. Little K was scrolling through her phone when she suddenly exclaimed, "Huh? Tan Yuze posted on Weibo!"
The accompanying picture showed two plane tickets: Beijing to Hengdian, departure time 6:30 AM. The caption was just one word: Wait. Xu Li stared at the picture for a long time, so long that the screen automatically dimmed.
"K, give me my phone." She opened the notes app and typed: "Let's go to the Southern Hemisphere to see the snow after this storm passes. No assistants, no agents, no cameras." After sending, she pressed and held the power button, and the screen went completely black.
Rainwater trickled down the windowpane, forming tiny streams. Xu Li pressed her forehead against the cool glass and whispered, "Let's go home."
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