out of control
At three in the morning on the rooftop, the wind, wrapped in the late summer heat, blew over the rusted railings, making a mournful "woooo" sound, like someone crying in the darkness. Yunheng squatted on the ground with her back to the entrance, her phone screen blindingly bright, and it stopped at the most vicious comment: "Even their own grandmother's hospital room can be used for hype. This ungrateful person deserves to be played to death by capital."
His fingertips dug deep into his palm, the smell of blood mixed with the salty taste of tears spreading across his tongue. He couldn't understand why he'd been dragged into this mess, step by step, when he'd simply wanted to use his voice to earn some medical expenses. The overwhelming verbal abuse, the rave reviews of his partner, the coercion of capital, like an impenetrable net, strangled him.
"Oh, you're crying already?"
Yu Xiao's voice, like a knife tempered with ice, suddenly cut through the silence. Yun Heng froze, and when she turned, she saw him leaning against the rooftop door, a cigarette between his fingers. The flame flickered in the darkness, making the mockery in his eyes particularly glaring.
"Get out." Yun Heng's voice was hoarse as if it had been sandpapered. She grabbed the empty wine bottle beside her and threw it at Yu Xiao.
The bottle brushed Yu Xiao's shoulder and hit the ground, shattering with a clang. As the glass flew, Yu Xiao had already stubbed out his cigarette and approached. He grabbed Yun Heng by the scruff of the neck and lifted her up, nearly strangling her neck. "I spent three million to get your grandmother transferred to a VIP ward and hired a team of top experts, and this is how you treat me?"
"Three million?" Yun Heng was strangled to the point of being unable to breathe, her face flushed red. She tried to pry his wrists apart, the bloodshot in her eyes spreading like spiderwebs. "So I have to wag my tail at you like a dog? I have to let you rub my face and my grandmother's face on the ground?"
He suddenly arched his body and struggled to break free, his chest heaving violently, pointing at the dark night sky below: "Do you think money can buy everything? Do you think you can just throw me down from here and pay me some money and it will be over? Yu Xiao, do you dare?"
"You dare to die?" Yu Xiao's eyes instantly turned fierce, like an enraged beast, reaching out to grab his arm, "Don't be so shameless!"
The argument raged like an uncontrolled wildfire, reaching a fever pitch. Yun Heng struggled frantically, kneeing Yu Xiao in the stomach, only to be sidestepped. Yu Xiao's patience completely exhausted, he grabbed his wrist and swung him toward the railing—he'd intended it to scare him, but Yun Heng slipped and stumbled backward.
"Bang!"
Yun Heng's back slammed heavily against the rusted railing, making a dull thud. Even more terrifying, the screws at the bottom of the railing had long been eroded and loosened by the wind and rain, and the impact had completely derailed it. Half of his body was suddenly suspended in the air, with only one hand clinging to the crumbling railing, the other subconsciously held by Yu Xiao. He felt like a leaf hanging on the edge of a cliff.
The night wind ripped at the hems of his clothes like countless icy hands. The streetlights below lit up in the distance, like stars falling into the abyss, making one dizzy. Yun Heng lowered his head and could see the blurry ground a dozen floors below. His heart suddenly sank into a ball, and he forgot to even breathe.
"ah--!"
The scream was stuck in his throat, leaving only a gasp. Yun Heng's pupils shrank to pinpoints, and his fingers gripping the railing turned white from the force. Blood even seeped from his knuckles, staining the rusty iron bars red. He looked at Yu Xiao, the fear in his eyes like shattered glass, mixed with tears and scorching Yu Xiao's palms.
At that moment, Yu Xiao's mind went completely blank.
He could clearly feel Yun Heng's body trembling violently, see the way her jawline tightened in fear, and smell the sudden scent of Yun Heng's cold sweat in the air. The ruthlessness and possessiveness he'd felt just before seemed to be shattered by that unuttered scream, leaving only overwhelming panic.
He almost...really almost dropped Yun Heng.
This realization pierced his heart like an icicle. He had always believed he was "playing a game," that all the disruptions were under control. But now, looking at Yun Heng's body suspended in mid-air, he realized he had already crossed a dangerous line. The so-called "protection" and "possession" were merely a fig leaf for paranoia, hiding a madness that could destroy everything.
"Hold on tight!" Yu Xiao's voice was trembling. He didn't dare pull hard, for fear of causing the loose railing to collapse along with it. He could only move back little by little. The sweat on his palms made their hands slippery. "Don't be afraid... I'll pull you up..."
Yun Heng's teeth were clattering, and besides fear, his eyes were filled with a hatred that bordered on despair. He looked at Yu Xiao's face, which was so close to him—a face that had once moved his heart, and had also disgusted him, but now it seemed strange and terrifying. He suddenly loosened his grip on Yu Xiao's hand.
"Let go!"
Yu Xiao's heart suddenly stopped. In the nick of time, he rushed over and hugged Yun Heng's waist tightly. They both fell to the rooftop, rolling half a meter before coming to a stop. His back hit the hard concrete floor, shaking Yu Xiao's internal organs, but he held on to the person in his arms tightly, like a last straw.
The railing swayed behind him, and finally fell down with a "clang", drawing an arc in the dark night. It took a long time before a loud "bang" was heard, which was particularly harsh in the silent early morning.
Yun Heng lay sprawled on the ground, his entire body shaking like a sieve, his voice cracking as he muttered, "Let me go... Let me go..." Yu Xiao was on top of him, his arms still tightly wrapped around his waist. His back was lacerated with gashes from the shattered glass. Blood trickled down his shirt, soaking the concrete floor beneath him, yet he was oblivious.
It was not until Yun Heng's crying changed from suppressed whimpers to loud sobbing, like a child who had suffered a great injustice, that Yu Xiao seemed to have suddenly lost all his strength, let go of his hands and collapsed to the ground.
He watched Yunheng huddled there, shoulders shaking violently. The back of her training suit, soaked with sweat and tears, clung tightly to her body, outlining her frail figure. The wind from the rooftop carried the smell of blood and dust, stinging his eyes.
"I'm... sorry." These three words were stuck in his throat. It took a lot of effort to squeeze them out. The voice was hoarse and didn't sound like his. "I... I didn't mean it."
Yunheng ignored him and just hugged her knees and cried. Her cries echoed in the empty rooftop, hitting the broken railing and being blown away by the wind, making people feel nervous.
Yu Xiao looked at his hand, the hand that had nearly caused such a catastrophic mistake. It was now shaking so much he couldn't even clench a fist. For the first time, he felt a physical aversion to the word "control"—his so-called control was, it turned out, a cover-up for a loss of control. He had always believed himself to be the hunter, but he had never imagined the hunter had already become the prey of desire, being led by the nose to destruction.
After an unknown amount of time, the sky began to turn pale, and a pale blue light crept up Yun Heng's back. He had finally cried enough, slowly stood up, and walked towards the stairwell. As he passed Yu Xiao, his steps paused, his voice as cold as ice, without a trace of warmth: "Yu Xiao, after the finals, I will sue you."
Yu Xiao raised his head suddenly, and met the dead silence in his eyes. There was no anger, no hatred, not even fear, only a burnt ash.
"I'm suing you for illegal detention and personal intimidation..." Yun Heng's voice was soft, but every word was clear, as if she was stating something that had nothing to do with her. "Even if I can't win the case, I want everyone to know what a piece of shit you are, Yu Xiao."
After saying this, he disappeared down the stairs without looking back. His thin figure looked particularly resolute in the morning light, like a migratory bird that would never return.
Yu Xiao sat there, staring at the gap in the broken railing. The wind rushed in through it, causing the wound on his back to ache. His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a message from his assistant, saying that the costume for the finals was ready. He asked if he wanted diamond details to be more suitable for the "crown prince" status. There was also a blingbling design attached.
He stared at the message and suddenly laughed softly. As he laughed, his eyes became red.
It turns out that what he'd been striving for wasn't control, the couple trending on search engines, or the envy or fear of others. Instead, it was the boy squatting in the hallway wiping away water stains, the sunlight falling on his head, and the clear, unpremeditated look in his eyes when he looked up.
But now, it was crushed by his own hands.
The wind on the rooftop grew stronger, chilling the bones. Yu Xiao pulled out his cigarette case, but his hands were shaking so much he couldn't even hold the cigarette. It fell to the ground, rolled to the gap in the railing, and was swept down by the wind. For the first time, he felt fear, not fear of his father's scolding, not fear of ruin, but fear... that he would never get the chance to offer a proper apology to Yun Heng.
The distant wake-up whistle from the training base pierced the dawn, urging something. Yu Xiao slowly stood up. The wound on his back stuck to his clothes, causing pain every time he moved. He walked to the gap in the railing and looked down. He could still see the wreckage of the railing on the ground below, like an unmanageable mess.
Just like the mess between him and Yunheng, which was caused by capital, paranoia and loss of control.
This uncontrollable temptation finally burned the last fuse. And at the other end of the fuse, connected to the possibility between him and Yun Heng, which had long been crushed and perhaps never existed.
Yu Xiao lowered his head, looking at the back of his bloody hands. He suddenly felt that these hands, which had once been able to control everything, were now filthy and disgusting. He turned and walked towards the stairwell, his steps heavy as if they were filled with lead.
The finals were still waiting for him, but he suddenly didn't know what would happen if he won.
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