Chapter 42 Chapter 42 I Love You
"He Songfeng, I said I love you!"
Cheng Yiliao was still roaring, trying to gain He Songfeng's sympathy by acting like a child calling for his mother.
He Songfeng stood there, neither depressed nor giving up on himself. He leaned against the wall, with a meaningless and emotionless smile on his face.
He could hear it, taste it, and understand it better.
But He Songfeng didn't respond.
"I was so mean to you before, but I'm not like that anymore. I've changed, completely for you!"
"You left before you finished listening to what was said in the room just now. You should have listened to it. I didn't say a single bad word about you."
He Songfeng's expression did not change, he still didn't care.
Cheng Yiliao grabbed He Songfeng's arm and shook it violently. Tears and voice pushed into He Songfeng's lips.
"I don't!"
Cheng Yiliao's voice was too loud, and they were still outside the bar. There were too many people gathered here, attracted by the sound, and began to look at the two people roaring against the wall.
However, such things often happen among alcoholics, so no one gathered around him and just looked at the roaring man as a lickspittle and made a joke of himself.
"Everyone says you're bad, that you're not worthy of me, but I've always defended you. I just say I did it willingly."
Cheng Yiliao was still crying. His tears were because his body could not bear so much pain and had to be discharged in this way.
He Songfeng cupped his hands, holding up the tears that had managed to escape from the cracks.
He Songfeng suddenly felt like he was a container.
He tolerated everything, including Cheng Yiliao's temper, cowardice, and pain.
But it is just tolerance, without any reaction.
The container remains where it is, allowing the other person's emotions to be suppressed and confined.
All this has nothing to do with He Songfeng. Just as chemical reagents will not react with glass test tubes, He Songfeng will not be corroded by Cheng Yiliao's acidic tears.
"I know you don't actually like me that much... No, you probably never liked me. I have a bad temper, I was strong towards you, and I even hurt you. You have no reason to like me. So, in fact, I have always been just a vibrator for you to resist Cheng Qiyong. You just wanted to cheat, and I happened to be there."
"You still hate me, you hate me so clearly, you've never forgiven me."
The force that was once applied to He Songfeng's head for the sake of face became the sickle that cut off He Songfeng's face.
His flesh was slashed vertically, leaving wet bloody marks. The pale flesh was piled up and turned outward, and the blood vessels were pushed apart to reveal the white bones underneath. Tears spurted out as blood.
"But I love you so much. I really thought about eloping with you, going to a place where no one knows your past. You can start over, and we can start over too, as if nothing had happened."
Big tears squeezed out of her eyes, and every tear contained He Songfeng, like an indifferent resin doll in a crystal ball.
There's no use crying to He Songfeng.
"I am in so much pain, so much pain..."
"What should I do, He Songfeng? Please save me."
When Cheng Yiliao called out the names, there were suddenly a lot more people around them.
Looking at He Songfeng, and then at Cheng Yiliao who was begging hysterically.
His eyeballs were like steel wool, rubbing back and forth roughly and sharply, as if he wanted to break a layer of He Songfeng's skin.
Under everyone's attention, He Songfeng finally spoke.
He said, “I don’t know.”
Cheng Yiliao looked at He Songfeng blankly like a blind man.
He Songfeng emphasized again: "I don't know."
His reaction was indifferent, his voice was indifferent, and his attitude was also indifferent.
But his hatred was so clear.
The harshest response is probably not "I hate you."
But "I don't know."
Your tears flowed so violently, bitter and astringent, and the traces of tears were like thorns that bound you and me tightly.
But--
I have no idea.
Why are you crying? I don't know.
Why are you in so much pain? I don't know.
you love me?
I have no idea.
He Songfeng knew nothing.
He couldn't save Cheng Yiliao.
"You know, you know everything!"
Cheng Yiliao hugged He Songfeng tightly, as if by doing so he could press He Songfeng into his chest and use his ribs to support his weak and shriveled body.
Cheng Yiliao's eyes are a terrifying sea, and his eyeballs are stranded whales, drowning in the ever-surging waves.
He Songfeng was a little annoyed.
He wanted to say something more hurtful, but after thinking it over, he realized that he would hurt himself, so he chose to keep quiet.
What he wanted to say was:
What you love is my waist, my breasts, my buttocks and my legs, but never me.
Because I'm dull and boring, not sexy enough for you.
These words can not only be said to Cheng Yiliao, but also to all the men who have had relationships with him.
The men and women gathered around him cast sharp gazes at He Songfeng.
When the relationship between the sexes is exposed, the public will be more willing to sympathize with the active party who makes the most trouble and has the biggest momentum.
The passive party is always misunderstood more.
Heartlessness, avoidance, and cold violence.
Days of alcoholism finally backfired on Cheng Yiliao at the most critical moment. His legs went soft and he fell to his knees in front of He Songfeng. His back sank and arched into a C shape, and he lowered his head to kiss the tip of He Songfeng's shoe.
He is the most devout believer under the skirt of the Virgin Mary.
"He Songfeng, I love you."
These six words and two sentences are Cheng Yiliao's breathing, and the only way for him to stay awake.
"Thank you." He Songfeng said.
After receiving the response, Cheng Yiliao pulled off the Virgin Mary's skirt more enthusiastically. His two hands were like ghost hands from hell, tightly grasping the corners of He Songfeng's clothes, and squeezing all the weight of his body, including his emotions, on He Songfeng.
"He Songfeng, I love you."
"He Songfeng, I love you."
"He Songfeng, I love you."
“…………”
He Songfeng was silent for a while, then said:
"Thank you."
Cheng Yiliao's soul was sucked away by these words.
The two hands that were grabbing He Songfeng's clothes hung down weakly like broken branches, scraping a layer of skin when they hit the ground. Blood splashed onto the ground and mixed into the dirty wine.
He Songfeng's patience has run out and he wants to leave.
But the next second, the dirty hand that was dead on the ground came back to life and quickly pinched He Songfeng's ankle.
"Isn't thank you enough?"
He Songfeng leaned sideways and spoke impatiently to the beggar at his feet.
"What do you want to hear? Do I love you?"
Cheng Yiliao didn't say anything. His vocal cords were completely tied up by the high concentration of alcohol, and all the words he spoke were squeezed out like gasps.
He Songfeng squatted down, held up Cheng Yiliao's face, and gave him a perfunctory kiss on the forehead.
"I love you, is that enough? Let me go."
Cheng Yiliao looked at He Songfeng.
Like watching the wind.
I can't feel it, I can't express it.
In the end, Cheng Yiliao let go.
The process of letting go was extremely difficult, like a dying person who was reluctant to take his last breath. Only with great effort did He Songfeng break free from the shackles.
He couldn't forgive himself, but he could forgive He Songfeng.
Cheng Yiliao was still shedding tears, but the pain and regret remained.
He Songfeng still left.
Cheng Yiliao was like a dead fish, lying necrotic in the alley filled with stinky ditch. There was no trace of the aggressiveness he had when he first met He Songfeng.
He is just a living dead who has been abandoned by the Virgin Mary and has lost his faith.
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The author has something to say: [Please] I'll take a day off tomorrow. I haven't had a single day off this month. It's fun to stay up late and write, but if I get mentally exhausted, my life or death is in jeopardy.
The high school chapter is coming to an end, and the new husbands will appear one after another in the overseas study chapter. Then these people will gather together again after returning to China to compete with each other [let me watch]
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