Chapter 69 Chapter 69 Evander's Occasion: Warmth and Happiness...
He Songfeng left the house that filled him with auditory and visual hallucinations. His symptoms improved a lot and he gradually calmed down.
He walked in the shadows of the street in the dead of night, stepping on the tiles on the ground, staring straight ahead with dull eyes, walking aimlessly.
He walked until he was exhausted, and then he stopped to think.
"Where should I go?"
He has no family, no friends.
He is a lonely ghost with nowhere to go.
There are only countless bed partners. Even if he leaves Samuel, no matter how far he goes along this path, the end result will only be that he ends up in another person's bed.
He Songfeng felt unprecedentedly confused, his steps so light that he couldn't even feel like a living, down-to-earth person.
For a moment, he could only continue walking based on his feelings.
I don’t know how much time has passed, and I can’t tell what I was going through.
When He Songfeng woke up, there was a dark door in front of him.
But he was not afraid at all. He raised his hand and knocked down directly.
Boom boom boom——
He Songfeng knocked on the door.
No one answered in the room at first, so He Songfeng knocked a second time.
Boom boom boom——
A roar of "Mee--!!!" that overturned the ceiling came from inside the door.
"Kitty." He Songfeng whispered softly.
Kitty is a natural loudspeaker. She can easily smell He Songfeng's scent through the door, jumps to the door eagerly and starts making noise.
Not long after, quick and heavy footsteps were heard from inside.
Evander opened the door, and when he saw He Songfeng, his face was filled with unsuppressible surprise.
He asked in disbelief, "Why are you here?"
Ivander felt inferior and believed that he was the second choice for He Songfeng, the backup among the backups. His name was not on any of the multiple-choice questions ABCD. He must have been drunk or crazy in the fill-in-the-blank question, so he suddenly had the idea to write that option in.
"Don't you want to see me?" He Songfeng misunderstood what he meant.
"No! I'm just a little... flattered." Evander quickly denied it, and took the initiative to extend his hand to He Songfeng, inviting him into the house.
He Songfeng slapped away the hand in front of him, bent down and picked up the chubby kitty at his feet, rubbed it against his face twice, and then walked inside naturally like the owner of the house.
Evander followed, carefully closing the door and keeping his voice to a minimum.
He asked worriedly, "What if Samuel finds out?"
It’s not that he felt guilty about having an affair, but he knew that Samuel had been keeping a close eye on He Songfeng recently, and he didn’t want to make He Songfeng feel bad about this.
He Songfeng gave Ivander a glare that said, "Don't bring up things that are not relevant to the topic," and then sat down at the table in the restaurant without any hesitation.
"kitty~"
"Meow~"
Kitty made coquettish whimpering sounds in He Songfeng's arms, and her tail circled around He Songfeng's body gently like a feather duster.
Evander immediately apologized, "Sorry, sorry."
Compared to He Songfeng's generosity and openness, Evander was very reserved and shy, as if He Songfeng was the owner of the house and he was the uninvited guest who had accidentally barged in.
As Evander lowered his head slightly, the tips of his ears remained red and purple, as if his capillaries had burst. His breathing was disordered, and when his hands hung down, his fingers changed various positions in a panic, and finally he chose to fold them in front of him to force himself to calm down.
Evander's entire body was visibly turned inward, and there was not a single sharp angle on his body.
It had been a long time since the two of them had such an intimate exchange, and they rarely communicated in normal times. Evander even reflected on himself countless nights, reviewing everything in the past between him and He Songfeng, wondering if he had done anything wrong, which led to the current estrangement.
"How much does it weigh?"
He Songfeng put Kitty on the table and rubbed his sore arm muscles.
"Thirteen pounds," Evander replied.
He Songfeng was surprised. He looked at the tiny cat head. Although it was indeed heavy in his hand, He Songfeng never expected it to be so heavy.
"Kitty, you're a truck."
He Songfeng stretched out a finger and circled Kitty's tail and head, making Kitty spin around and around. Kitty fell helplessly on the table, with the fat on her belly piling up.
Evander's Adam's apple moved up and down several times. He felt awkward standing up, and felt like the chair was thorny when he sat down. He always wanted to find something to do.
So Evander asked, "Are you hungry?"
He Songfeng stopped teasing the cat, turned his gaze to Ivander beside him, and nodded slightly.
Evander clenched his right fist and knocked it against the palm of his left hand, then smiled. "I just happened to have made a pot of tomato meat sauce a few days ago. I'll go make you a bowl of noodles."
As soon as Ivander left, the faint smile on He Songfeng's face immediately disappeared, turning into an expressionless and bleak look.
He supported his cheek with one hand and stared lifelessly at the cute kitty rolling around in front of him.
"Meow~"
Kitty rubbed He Songfeng's forearm with her cheek, and then circled around, ensuring that both sides of her body, from her face to her buttocks, were favored by He Songfeng.
He Songfeng frowned, opened his mouth, and whispered something but stopped himself. After the word "I", he let out a meaningless sigh.
"Mee~~"
Kitty circled around He Songfeng again as if to encourage him, and this time her tail was tightly wrapped around He Songfeng's arm without letting go.
He Songfeng took a deep breath again and said, "I want to say..."
But when the words came to his lips, he immediately bit his lower lip and swallowed the rest.
Can't do it...it's too difficult.
To speak of that thing, one must inevitably replay it in his mind.
…………
He Songfeng took a deep breath, inhaling greedily like a drowning man.
He covered his face with his hands, closed his eyes tightly, and fell into inexplicable extreme fear.
His whole body was shaking, and he only managed to avoid fainting by absorbing a little oxygen through the gaps between his fingers.
“Ahhhh!!!”
Kitty screamed like a trumpet, each cry getting louder and louder. It would not be an exaggeration to say that it was a scream.
He Songfeng suddenly woke up from a nightmare, his pale eyes staring blankly at the furry cute creature in front of him through his fingers. He used one hand to stroke it, his five fingers buried deep in the thick hair, and only then did he feel the reality and his own sense of existence.
"It's okay, it's okay... Evander is a very good person. Telling him about that is the best way to save yourself."
He Songfeng kept touching the cat mechanically, just like a zoo stereotype, while talking to himself, trying to comfort himself that it was okay.
He said "it's okay" many times until his heart, pounding in his chest, was finally soothed. Only then did he muster the courage to speak out what he wanted to say in a very small voice, stammering:
"I, I, I want to tell you something, something, about my thing, I, I, I don't have any other intentions, and I'm not trying to gain your sympathy, I just want to see if I can say it or not."
He Songfeng's stuttering doesn't occur on every word he pronounces. The words he stutters on are the ones that make him most nervous and afraid.
He was too concerned about himself, about the past, and about what would happen if Evander knew about it.
“Ouch!”
Kitty was still screaming, and her tail was standing straight up.
A large hand came down, pressed on Kitty's head, and patted it gently, "This is for your master to eat."
A bowl of hot Italian tomato meat sauce pasta appeared in front of He Songfeng. Kitty was in Evander's palm, her body motionless but her eyes were about to run into the bowl.
Evander quickly sat down opposite He Songfeng and held Kitty on his lap.
When He Songfeng heard Ivander's voice, his heart began to beat violently again. The thoughts that he had just sorted out with great difficulty were suddenly tangled into a ball of wool again, and the more he tried to untangle them, the more suffocated he felt.
He Songfeng was about to back down again. He comforted himself: Eat well and don’t think too much.
He Songfeng always comforts himself, so the comfort he can give himself has long become extremely thin due to the wear and tear of time.
Instead of eating well, he thought more and more. He even thought about his lovers in China who had had relationships with him, and the many netizens who were watching his pornographic videos, humiliating him as a whore and fantasizing about him.
Fortunately, Evander's voice interrupted his painful inner friction in time.
"What did you just say to Kitty? Can I listen? It's about...the things about yourself."
Ivander's voice was very light and soft, like a gust of wind, blowing past He Songfeng's ears without any burden, blowing away the nightmare.
He Songfeng lowered his head and remained silent for a long time.
"Feel sorry."
He Songfeng stood there stiffly, without any movement.
The silver fork was placed flat on the edge of the bowl, and the heat from the Italian tomato meat sauce in the bowl gradually became less thick.
Evander immediately realized that he had said the wrong thing, and cold sweat immediately slid down his forehead. He hid his hands under the table and waved them around again, feeling helpless.
"Try it and give your opinion."
Evander's voice was hoarse, and tension and guilt filled every syllable of his words.
Boom!
It was the sound of Kitty jumping onto the table.
He Songfeng put his hand back on the table, picked up the silver fork and put it into the bowl, turning it around twice but still didn't pick it up.
"If you don't eat it now, Kitty will eat it."
He Songfeng picked up the noodles and put them into his mouth. They were fresh, fragrant and hot.
His drooping eyes slowly moved upward and forward, staring at Evander opposite him without blinking.
"Is it delicious?" Evander asked, his eyes full of concern.
He Songfeng bit off the noodles and nodded.
Evander smiled in relief, but quickly suppressed his smile and said seriously, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry into your affairs. I hope you are happy every day, and I also hope that I can help you."
Evander was silent for a moment, then continued:
"I don't have a lot of money or power. All I can do is make your food as delicious as possible and make you feel better."
…………
He Songfeng's tears flowed without any warning, and he didn't even realize he was crying.
Evander stood up in a panic, the chair legs creaking harshly against the ground, and he hurried to get toilet paper.
His hand was placed half an arm's length away from He Songfeng, expressing his concern in a restrained manner.
The kitten was also sitting quietly and staring in He Songfeng's peripheral vision.
He Songfeng did not take the toilet paper, but raised his hand to touch his cheek.
When he put his fingers on his cheekbone with a strange look on his face and felt cold and wet tears, he slowly realized that it was no wonder that Evander handed him paper, it turned out that he was crying.
"I'm sorry, I'm always so rude."
Evander became even more nervous and didn't know what to do. His apology escalated from "Sorry" to "Terribly Sorry", and he apologized deeply for it.
Tears dripped into the bowl, and He Songfeng's next mouthful of noodles tasted salty and bitter.
He is not a crybaby, and his emotions are never too strong.
He did not hate strongly, nor did he love strongly, and even his sadness was nothing more than a lifeless daze.
He Songfeng is a prisoner tied to a saw, with happiness on his left and pain on his right.
He was always pulled by pain, and every turn of the saw teeth left him covered in wounds, and he had long been accustomed to the scars.
But this time it's different.
This was the first time he was close to happiness, and the unfamiliar feeling gave him a piercing pain.
Then tears fell from the broken sky thousands of meters high.
The tears did not fall into the air, but fell into the palm of Evander's hand.
For the first time, He Songfeng's sadness was firmly grasped and he had a place to go.
"Is this bowl of noodles too bad? It's so disgusting that it made you cry."
The serious and reserved professor made a joke for the first time, but the joke was too cold, and mixed with his tears, which were extremely watery, froze him stiff.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
