Chapter 764 I Will Be With You
Although Isabel referred to Aiwass as a third person...Aleister could feel the overwhelming emotion.
And Isabel continued:
"Before I truly fell in love with him... I developed a sense of awe, dependence, and trust in him. Even though we were the same age, I felt the love and reliability of an elder.
"And then, curiosity followed... I was incredibly curious—was this truly the complete him? Was he really this young? Was this all a performance? Or was there something hideous beneath that omniscient, godlike aura?"
After that uncontrollable curiosity, Isabel gradually felt the gentleness and reliability of Aiwass.
He was like an excellent commander, a wise monarch, a loving grandfather, or a doting brother... Initially, Isabel didn't feel loved because Aiwass was too far away from her.
"But amidst these complex emotions, I gradually peeled back Aiwass's heart. And unexpectedly... I captured something deep in his heart."
—That was a touch of “Evans’ humanity.”
"That was exactly what Aiwass felt, his inner melancholy, his timidity, his low self-esteem, and his fear. He never let these feelings outwardly. Only after Aiwass completely relaxed in front of me did he secretly release a little, then quickly retract it. It was as if he was afraid I would discover his secret... But what I didn't tell him was that I had actually sensed it a long time ago, but I just kept it to myself out of concern for his self-esteem.
"You know... the path of beauty is the path that has the strongest ability to perceive the human heart."
Isabel whispered in Aleister's ear: "Actually... this is the real reason why I fell in love with him."
There are two reasons why her feelings for Aiwass changed from "like" to "love".
When she had just ascended the throne and was exhausted, the first thing she thought of was Aiwass. Only in his arms could she, the "Queen", cry without worry.
At that moment, she knew she could never leave Aiwass again.
Although Isabel has been a crybaby since she was a child, she has never cried in front of others.
The more a child is looked down upon by others, the stronger and more paranoid his or her self-esteem becomes.
However, humans cannot truly fall in love with gods.
People's worship of idols is nothing but false love. It is love for the perfect person in their own heart, but it never points to the other person's true heart.
Because of this, Isabel's self-esteem prevented her from accepting a love that was only given and not returned—if Aiwass loved her selflessly without expecting anything in return or pursuing anything from her, then she would not be able to accept this kind of equal love, like "God loves the world." She could not accept that she was meaningless in this relationship.
"...Fortunately," Isabel leaned closer to Aleister's ear and whispered softly, "When I cried on his chest, I heard his heart crying silently."
When she completely collapsed, Aiwass also showed a moment of vulnerability in front of her, which he had not even revealed yet... At that moment, she realized that they were indeed a couple who could support each other to the end, rather than just lovers with "liking" and "attachment".
"Let me guess."
She whispered, "What Lord Aiwass said at that time... [So, don't cry].
"You're talking to yourself, right?"
At that time... at that moment, the shell of the glorious statue named "Aivaz" suddenly broke.
The person she embraced at that time was not her omnipotent and loyal minister, but a young boy who was equally melancholy and uneasy.
It was like Aiwass's violent reaction when she received the hand-knitted sweater from her grandmother—it was more than any of the carefully drawn magic paintings she had given him. Isabel had felt a little resentful at the time, but it was only then that she truly understood everything.
Aiwass is not perfect, he just hides all his wounds and is strong alone.
Even in front of me, he would never admit or accept my own vulnerability...but my crying could melt the ice in his heart.
"A person who wants to laugh but can't will want to see others laugh; similarly, a person who wants to cry but can't will want to see others cry... Therefore, a person who has deeply felt sorrow is either a wanton tyrant or a healer of the soul."
Isabel said softly.
She had received a comprehensive education in the ways of beauty. Therefore, she knew that the purpose of watching tragedy was to release fear, satisfy pity, inspire grief and anger, and strengthen determination...
It was not wine, but bitter medicine—a salve for a dead soul.
It was from then on that Aiwass began to gradually reveal his less perfect side. He gradually let down his guard, like a snail gradually emerging from its shell, exposing his fragile yet fatal softness to Isabel.
And now, with Aiwass's separation...his complex heart has been dismembered and ripped open.
Just like medical specimens with different internal organs exposed, Isabel can also read Aleister's true heart more clearly.
Once the nobility of self-sacrifice for a higher purpose is lost, the humanity in Aleister becomes so clear.
"do not be afraid."
Isabel whispered softly, hugging Aleister, who looked so young and tender in front of her, like a gentle mother, and conveyed her words to Aiwass's most vulnerable part: "Don't worry, cry, girl. I will be with you."
That was what Aiwass had said to Isabel in the past...similar but opposite.
Aleister didn't look back or say anything.
When Isabel was halfway through her speech, her eyes became moist.
It was like watching a sad movie, or like the grievances and fears that had been accumulated for a long time finally had room to be released - when Aleister blinked again, a line of tears slowly fell.
Suddenly, the black-haired girl turned around with her eyes closed and huddled in Isabel's arms.
"I...I lied..."
Aleister whimpered softly: "I don't want to disappear... I don't want to be forgotten..."
After the first sob, her crying gradually became louder.
That was something a man like Aiwass would never do - even if he had a breakdown one day, he would just curl up in a corner and drink alone, even though he didn't know how to drink at all.
All he could do was comfort himself with the pain of self-harm, like a knife wound deep in his throat, which would pierce his heart whenever he swallowed bitter water. And in this way, he could no longer taste the bitterness.
Because once he falls, the world will be destroyed.
Aiwass had no room to give up—this world lacked the formidable "players" who could resolve every disaster, defeat every powerful enemy. He had only himself to rely on. He didn't need to do anything... he only had to watch as everything ultimately led to destruction.
Disaster after disaster. Impossibly powerful bosses. The game of gods, the fate of chess pieces, and an alternate future destined for destruction...all of it piled upon one man.
A mortal bears such a heavy fate.
Aiwass must be strong - until the very end, to open a new path for the whole world.
He was never afraid of sacrifice. He was just worried that if he sacrificed himself too early, the remaining crises that followed would still destroy the world.
Of course, he had his own desires, his own human loves and desires. He wanted to enjoy life, he wanted to study peacefully on campus, he wanted to play with Isabel in the palace, he wanted to enjoy the splendor and wealth of his life as a wealthy man, he wanted to be a great man and help everyone he wanted to help.
But he couldn't do it.
The "future" was like a curse, pushing him away from places he'd developed feelings for, heading towards scenes of disaster. Sometimes he wanted to tell others about the future he carried on his shoulders...
But in this world, there are no absolute secrets anywhere. Whether in the dream world or the physical world, as long as something is spoken or written, it will inevitably be discovered by many people and gods, and the future is bound to veer in directions Aiwass could not have foreseen.
So Aiwass had to be strong.
He had reasons to keep going.
…But Aleister is different.
Her body was that of a complete little girl, not even an adult yet, and she would cry at the slightest pain; her race was the Children of the Moon, and they were notorious for their uncontrollable emotions; she was born less than a month ago and would live less than half a year; and her name was not Aiwass, but Aleister...
——In this case, it’s okay even if I can’t help crying out loud, right?
"Cry, just cry it out. You're already drunk... You're only crying in your dreams. How strong you are."
Isabel whispered softly, “Aleister…can I call you Alai?
"Well, Alai. I swear... no matter what, if I and Aiwass have a child, whether boy or girl... I will name the first child Aleister. I will love Aleister as I love myself until the end of my life.
"With me here, you won't be forgotten. And I also believe that Aiwass won't let you disappear completely like this. Because he would rather die than hurt someone who loves him... You and he both possess this kind of tenderness."
Isabel patted Aleister's back gently and held the girl, who was so light that even she could lift her easily, in her arms.
This girl, who was so dangerous that she could kill an extremely dangerous demon alone, was now like a cat afraid of the cold, instinctively curling up in Isabel's arms.
She felt the weight of the girl's body, and her suffering spirit, which was even more fragile than her body - what kind of weight must she have been carrying to leave such a brilliant and sacred soul like Aiwass full of scars?
At this moment, Isabel felt very deeply and clearly the loneliness, pain, sadness and fear hidden by Aiwass.
...It was like he was facing a crisis where one wrong move would destroy the world, but he had to solve it himself and couldn't tell anyone about it.
Isabel vaguely sensed the pressure on Aiwass.
She knew she couldn't help Aiwass save the world. She was already exhausted and sweating just dealing with Avalon's many problems.
But she could save Aiwass, and now Aleister too.
All the political affairs that had accumulated in Avalon and all the love words that had accumulated in her heart could be put aside at this moment.
The most important thing is to heal the long-damaged mind of this older child.
"Cry...I love you."
Isabel slightly closed her eyes, and her emerald pupils looked at Aleister with compassion.
At this moment, she deeply felt the beauty of "dedication", just like an actor gradually getting into the role... She gradually understood completely what Aiwass was thinking.
At this moment, she was holding Aleister, but it was like Aiwass was holding his own clone.
If she could leave this dream again, she would be confident that she could make a mask of Aiwass.
And Aleister—after sobbing, under the illumination of that warm light, her crying gradually became louder and turned into a howl.
The crying turned into screaming, becoming hysterical, even breaking, and so hard that it seemed as if she was going to vomit.
By the end, even the soft sobs could no longer be heard, but rather an irrational, instinctive roar, venting the fear of life and death.
——And this is just like the first cry of a baby, announcing the true birth of a life.
Update completed! I've been taking some liver-protecting tablets these past few days, and I feel like I'm gradually getting back on track!
An update of more than 6,000 words, please give me your monthly vote!
(End of this chapter)
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