Chapter 30 The Second Prince discovered that he was broken?
After seeing off Cui Xiao, who was holding a food box and a storybook and was very satisfied, the smile on Liu Cong's face slowly faded and turned into a deep, scorching emotion.
He walked back to Ninghui Palace where he was staying temporarily alone.
Because the prince's palace is being renovated according to his wishes, his father allowed him to stay in the palace during this period.
The hall is elegantly furnished, but seems a bit empty.
He dismissed his attendants and sat alone on the rosewood couch by the window.
Outside the window, a tree of late-blooming magnolia sways in the spring breeze, its white petals like snow.
Liu Cong's unfocused gaze fell on the petals, but his thoughts had already drifted far away, drifting to the handsome and tall young man.
When did it begin? Liu Cong himself couldn't say for sure.
Perhaps it was because when they first met, Cui Xiao was drawing his bow and arrow in the martial arts arena, and the unyielding spirit between his brows made him stand out among the children of nobles?
Perhaps it was when he was reading with me in the imperial study, with his unique insights and eloquent conversation, and his bright eyes sparkling with wisdom?
Or maybe, one casual afternoon, you saw him sitting quietly in the porch reading a book, the sunlight shining on his thick eyelashes, casting a small fan-shaped shadow, and his concentration and tranquility quieted all the noise around him?
Liu Cong considered himself a man of deep thoughts and who would act only after careful planning.
He was used to being in control and planning carefully for the future.
However, this feeling for Cui Xiao was like a vine growing quietly in spring, which had already tightly entangled his heart when he was off guard.
It came so violently and so irrationally that it completely overturned his understanding of himself and love.
The clearest turning point occurred more than a month ago.
That night, he had a dream.
There was no power or conspiracy in the dream, only one person - Cui Xiao.
The dream is bizarre, yet extremely real.
He dreamed that they were alone in a rockery cave in the imperial garden.
Cui Xiao leaned very close, so close that he could see the fine hairs on his face and smell the faint, clean scent of soapberries on his body.
In his dream, he lowered his head as if possessed by a ghost and kissed those lips that always wore a gentle smile... The touch was incredibly soft, with a dizzying throbbing sensation.
What happened next was a bit hazy in the dream, but I only remember an extreme pleasure that I had never experienced before, which swept through my body...
When Liu Cong woke up the next morning, he found that his underwear was cold and sticky.
As a prince who was already well versed in human affairs and had palace maids to teach and serve him, he certainly understood what this meant.
However, the feeling this time was completely different from any previous time.
There was no satisfaction or laziness afterward, only a huge panic and... sense of absurdity that almost overwhelmed him.
He, the Second Prince, the future Prince, possibly even... actually had such a clear, intense physical reaction to a man, his brother's study partner?!
The real touch and throbbing in the dream were now clearly imprinted in his mind and could not be erased.
He tried to analyze calmly.
Is Cui Xiao too good-looking? He's not the only handsome eunuch or handsome study partner in the palace.
Is Cui Xiao exceptionally talented? Liu Cong has seen many more brilliant individuals. So what is it? Why him?
Liu Cong fell into unprecedented confusion and self-doubt.
He tried to suppress this absurd emotion with reason.
He summoned the palace maid who served him in bed. The maid was beautiful and slender, carefully selected to teach the prince about the ways of love and sex. She leaned in gently, her hand softly caressing his chest.
However, Liu Cong's body felt like it was poured with a basin of ice water.
Not only did he not react at all, but he felt a strong sense of rejection rising from the bottom of his heart, even... a hint of nausea.
He looked at the palace maid's fair and plump breasts, feeling strange and disgusted. His mind couldn't help but recall the time when Cui Xiao was wearing his study companion's clothes.
The slightly thin but smooth chest outline. The fragrance of the palace maid's powder also made him feel uncomfortable.
What he missed was the clean and refreshing smell of Cui Xiao, like grass bathed in the sun.
Seeing that he had no interest, the palace maid retreated in panic.
Liu Cong was the only one left in Ninghui Palace.
A great emptiness and a cold despair seized him. It wasn't a physical problem.
The problem was... the subject. He was horrified to confirm a fact: he seemed to have lost interest in women. What he longed for was the boy named Cui Xiao.
This realization was like a bolt from the blue, shattering the calmness that Liu Cong had always been proud of.
He felt that he was finished and there was no hope for him.
The love of Longyang, the habit of Duanxiu... these words are like red-hot irons, burning his heart.
If this were to get out, it would not only become the biggest scandal in the royal family, but would also cause his father's wrath, the criticism from court officials, the ridicule from the world... it would be enough to destroy everything he had worked so hard to build!
He locked himself in Ninghui Palace for three whole days.
He did not see anyone, including Cui Xiao, and only claimed to have caught a cold.
Those three days were the darkest and most painful time in his life.
He frantically flipped through historical books and miscellaneous notes, trying to find similar examples, seeking a little comfort or a way out, but the result only made him more desperate.
He tortured himself again and again, trying to find the source of this emotion, but it was like being stuck in a quagmire. The more he struggled, the deeper he sank.
My mind is filled with Cui Xiao's every smile and frown, his slightly furrowed brow when he was reading, his satisfied squinting eyes when he ate sweets, his taut jawline when he was shooting arrows... Every picture is so clear that it is dazzling.
Heart-wrenching! This word was not enough to describe even one ten-thousandth of the pain he felt at that time.
It was a longing and desire that penetrated deep into his bones, mixed with immense fear and self-loathing, like countless ants gnawing at his heart.
For the first time, he realized that the word "love" had such devastating power and was completely unconstrained by reason.
Three days later, when Cui Xiao left the palace to return to the Marquis' Mansion for his regular rest, Liu Cong stood on the high palace wall and watched the carriage carrying Cui Xiao rumble out of the palace gate and disappear in the crowd.
At that moment, what surged in his heart was not the sadness of parting, but a sense of loss that was almost suffocating.
It was as if the most important light in life had been forcibly taken away.
It was at that moment that Liu Cong's inherent resilience and strategy were fully aroused.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
