It's all my fault
In the boundless darkness, Yun Jin's body could only feel the biting cold.
"It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault!"
The resentful voice repeated itself endlessly like a broken phonograph, and countless twisted black shadows surged toward Yun Jin from all directions, wrapping around her limbs and dragging her into an even deeper darkness.
"Why……"
Yun Jin heard her own faint murmurs drowned out by the cacophony of sounds.
Why am I a cat demon?
Why did things turn out this way?
Why did I drag Shen Yi'an and Yun Chen into such big trouble?
Those sharp voices seemed to have heard Yun Jin's question and became even more cutting.
"It's all because of you, Yun Jin! You've ruined everything!"
“If you had behaved yourself, Qin Yi’s ear would have been damaged, she wouldn’t have held a grudge against you, and you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
"Soon your ugly, half-cat, half-human face will appear on the trending searches of major platforms, and everyone will know that the previously adorable Yun Miaomiao was just a vain and ugly monster."
"How heartbroken will your fans be? They like you so much, they edit videos for you, give you popularity, and put you on shows. Is this how you treat them? How despicable, Yun Jin!"
"Yun Chen, what are you going to do? Are you really going to drag your sister into this? This has nothing to do with her. Why should she lose her life because of you?"
"And what about Shen Yi'an? You're already exhausted, and all you do is cause him trouble. It's so pitiful, Shen Yi'an. If only he had a normal girlfriend!"
These sharp words, like razor-sharp knives, pierced Yun Jin's heart again and again, shattering her last line of defense.
Overwhelmed by guilt, Yun Jin could hardly breathe. She let the shadows tear at her body, her eyes vacant as she murmured, "It's all my fault... I've dragged everyone down with me, it's all my fault..."
That ghostly voice, in a low whisper, kept enticing Yun Jin.
"That's right, that's exactly it... Your very existence is a mistake. As long as you're still around, everyone will continue to be dragged down by you."
"So... please die like this. Once you're dead, everyone will be free."
Yun Jin's consciousness became increasingly blurred under the allure of the shadowy figure, and she could even sense an eerie calm.
"As long as I die..." Yun Jin repeated unconsciously.
As the cold almost swallowed Yun Jin, amidst the endless noise, Yun Jin heard a very soft sigh.
This voice... sounds familiar.
Yun Jin tried to think through the confusion; she must have heard it somewhere before.
She had heard it in the darkness, when danger approached, and when she was walking unsteadily...
The fragments of memory are slowly pieced together until it becomes whole.
It's my mother!
It's my mother's voice!
At the same time, countless flashes of light appeared before Yun Jin's eyes. These warm yellow memories slowly enveloped Yun Jin's falling soul, like a net that gently lifted her up from the endless darkness.
Why do you want to be human?
In a hazy memory, a clear scene gradually emerges—it's the high school campus.
"Yun Jin, why do you want to become human?" A voice with the distinctive tone of a feline rang out.
Yun Jin was 16 years old at the time. She had her hair in a high ponytail and wore a clean white shirt school uniform. When she stood by the white wall, she could blend into the wall.
During physical education class, while her classmates were playing and fooling around, she would always stand quietly alone in the shade cast by a big tree, out of place in the vibrant campus.
Yun Jin doesn't have many friends. Although she can talk to Yun Chen, they are not in the same class.
Yun Jin spends most of her time alone.
A beautiful tabby cat with striking fur stood on the white wall, looking down at Yun Jin. This tabby cat had recognized Yun Jin as not human from the very beginning of the school year.
Yun Jin looked up at her; her raised tail indicated that she was in a good mood.
"There's no reason why. I've been living with humans since I was born." Yun Jin frowned slightly, disliking her bringing up this topic.
The tabby cat stretched lazily and said casually, "That's really strange."
"What's so strange about that? There are plenty of cat demons in this city." Yun Jin didn't want to be seen as a crazy person talking to herself, so she quietly went around to the back of the big tree.
“Cat demons are nothing special, we're found all over the world. It's just that cat demons like you, so determined to become human, are rare.” The tabby cat paced gracefully along the wall. “Where are your parents?”
"This is my personal privacy, I have no comment." Yun Jin lifted her foot, intending to leave this conversation that made her feel uncomfortable.
“You won’t leave,” the tabby cat said confidently. “Your teacher won’t let you go back to the classroom, and everywhere else… is full of people.”
The tabby cat was already very familiar with Yun Jin's personality. She had observed Yun Jin for a long time and found that Yun Jin had almost nowhere else to go during physical education class.
"Damn, that homeroom teacher is too responsible. But it's precisely this responsibility that makes it impossible for me to find a quiet place. I can only hide here," Yun Jin thought bitterly.
"Oh, right, I have another question," the tabby cat said, leaping lightly to a branch closer to Yun Jin, its golden eyes staring directly at her. "Since you want to be human so much, why can't you get along well with your classmates?"
"None of your business?" Yun Jin bristled as if her tail had been stepped on, her eyes shifting guiltily to the other side of the playground.
There, a few male students were playing basketball, and two girls were hiding to the side, secretly watching them, occasionally whispering a few words and then covering their mouths and laughing.
"I'm just curious," the tabby cat's voice remained calm, "why become human if you don't want to live with humans? Isn't that exhausting?"
Yun Jin was annoyed by the tabby cat's questions. Although she didn't want to give up this secluded little place, she couldn't answer the tabby cat's questions.
Yun Jin chose the method of physical isolation and walked towards the convenience store.
Behind them, a tabby cat loudly lectured, "If that's the case, then you might as well not be human! If you want to be human, you have to work hard!"
From then on, Yun Jin never saw that sharp-tongued tabby cat again.
The question, “Why do you want to become human?” came from a voice in the past and was a question that Yun Jin could not answer at that time.
"Why?"
As Yun Jin watched the various memories from before drift before her eyes, she subconsciously reached out to grab something.
A very small voice rang out: "Because... I want... to be seen."
It was Yun Jin's own voice.
She wanted to be seen by her mother, and even if she left her mother, she and her sister could support each other and live a good life.
She wanted to be seen by Yun Chen. As her older sister, Yun Jin hoped that Yun Chen would find the life she truly loved and let go of all the pressure she felt for him.
She wanted Shen Yi'an to see her, to see the real Yun Jin. They exchanged their deepest secrets and then came to understand and support each other.
Living peacefully in a corner far from humans is indeed safe, but it's also very lonely, which is not what Yun Jin longs for.
Yun Jin was always afraid in front of crowds, afraid that her biggest secret would be discovered.
But at this moment, Yun Jin clearly realized that this was not her problem.
Yun Jin was born this way.
These ideas act like solid foundation stones, supporting the shaky web of memories.
Immediately afterwards, more and more specks of memory emerged from the darkness like fireflies, growing brighter and brighter until they finally converged into a warm stream of light, surrounding Yun Jin and separating the dark ghostly figures.
She remembers that, as "Yun Miaomiao," she accompanied a grieving fan, making the other person laugh through their tears with an awkward joke.
She remembered helping Qin An by bravely chasing away a lewd man who was harassing her on the bus.
She remembered helping Qiqi clear up the misunderstanding with Teacher Wang, giving this story about companionship a perfect ending.
She remembered that she was there for Shen Yi'an, when he was happy and could watch a movie in one go, when he was sick and couldn't control himself, when he was feverish and vulnerable...
"No! Those things have nothing to do with you!" The sharp voice rang out again, but Yun Jin was no longer afraid of it.
“No, I did these things, and you can’t erase them,” Yun Jin said firmly to the dark void. “I made mistakes, those choices, those actions… but I’m trying to make amends.”
Yun Jin's voice grew louder and louder, and the memory spots surrounding her became brighter and brighter.
"I absolutely refuse!"
"I refuse to accept leaving this world like this!"
"I want to go back! I want to go back and find them!"
A warm force welled up from the bottom of Yun Jin's heart, propelling her upward, upward, until her hand could touch that bright boundary.
Yun Jin suddenly opened her eyes!
Her vision blurred at first, then gradually cleared, and she saw a huge black cat sitting at the head of the bed, its golden pupils looking out the window, its raised tail exuding an innate majesty.
“Mother…” Yun Jin said incredulously in a low voice. She wanted to raise her head, but found that her body was very heavy and she could not move at all.
"Don't move, my child." The black cat's deep and familiar voice rang out. She stepped forward and gently brushed her tail around Yun Jin's forehead and head.
When the two sisters were sick as children, their mother always liked to do this, which brought tears to Yun Jin's eyes.
Just then, the door was pushed open, and Yun Chen walked in carrying a basin of water. When she saw Yun Jin who had woken up, she exclaimed in surprise.
"Mother, my sister—she's awake!"
She quickly put down the basin of water in her hand, almost fell to the bedside, and excitedly grasped Yun Jin's immobile hand.
"What...what's wrong with me?" Yun Jin asked weakly, glancing around the room.
Qiqi was lying on the ground not far away, wagging its tail happily. When it saw that Yun Jin was awake, it immediately got up and came over. Meanwhile, the crow was tilting its head and looking at Yun Jin with a displeased expression.
“My child, you have completely lost your vigilance, and this is important, whether as a cat or as a human,” the black cat said in a serious tone.
Yun Jin took over and explained, "It's a bit complicated. There was a problem with the canned meat you ate before. An unknown toxic substance was detected in it. All the other pets that participated in the filming were poisoned and sent to the vet."
Yun Chen paused for a moment, then said, "Moreover, the canned food you ate had Qin Yi's scent on it. She must have tampered with it, because your condition is more serious than other pets."
Yun Jin gasped.
"Then... how did you save me?" Yun Jin looked at everyone in the room.
Yun Chen glanced at his mother, and the black cat slowly said, "Your friends and I searched for many herbs outside, and then... we tried them on you one by one. They worked very hard."
"Thank you... everyone!" Yun Jin looked at everyone, who were a little disheveled, and tears welled up instantly.
"I'm glad I could help you," Qi Qi said softly, instinctively hiding his slightly injured paws behind his back.
"Hmph," the crow on the wardrobe said disdainfully, "I wouldn't be doing such tiring work if I hadn't been threatened by certain people."
Everyone laughed when he said that.
"Where is Shen Yi'an?" Yun Jin looked up at the doorway.
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