In the days since returning from Saigon, Xiang Nanzhi has been thinking that it was thankful it was him and not someone else.
So that she doesn't have to suffer so much now.
"Shen Shixun, I don't pity you."
"I just want you to be a better person."
Without thinking, Xiang Nanzhi blurted out, "I want you to have a better life."
She just didn't want him to suffer.
"I'm fine now."
You should envy me.
——
Living in that kind of place and doing such hard work, he actually felt that he was doing quite well.
Shen Shixun's meal wasn't lavish, but he was a good cook and the food tasted decent. Xiang Nanzhi was full.
I passed by a coffee shop, went in to sit down, and ordered some afternoon tea.
Xiang Nanzhi looked at the bustling streets outside, lost in thought.
After returning from Saigon, she always thought about the sunrise in Saigon, and Shen Shixun's two big mastiffs.
Mastiffs are intelligent and sometimes feel like they have their own thoughts, just like humans, guarding the cattle and sheep on the grassland.
Xiang Nanzhi suddenly had a craving for dried meat, so he ordered a beef dish at the coffee shop, took a piece and put it in his mouth, then immediately spat it out.
It tastes terrible, nowhere near as good as the ones from the grasslands.
Bored, she decided to go back and draw some design sketches. Just then, a man walking towards her made her stop in her tracks.
After not seeing him for a while, Song Ze was still clean, refreshing, and spotless.
The man had a very handsome face, the kind that would make any woman fall in love at first sight.
Once the most handsome boy at Guda University, now a business elite, he smiled at her, and Xiang Nanzhi's breath caught in her throat.
"Here for afternoon tea?"
"Um."
Let's take a walk together.
Xiang Nanzhi nodded and walked behind him. The two had nothing to talk about and walked together in an unusually quiet atmosphere.
When do you and Jiang Yao plan to get married?
Xiang Nan asked casually if he knew what they were talking about.
No matter how unwilling she was, she had no choice but to let go of her feelings for Song Ze.
Shen Shixun had said that he would sign the divorce agreement and agree to the divorce after she gave birth, but she herself did not know what would happen to her after giving birth. Song Ze had also made it very clear to her that she had to accept reality.
Song Ze was almost ignited by her words. He took a few steps and turned back to look at her. "Nan Zhi, Jiang Yao and I are not planning to get married."
She was taken aback; it was indeed somewhat unexpected. "You're not..."
Song Ze approached her, "I don't want to hurt you. You've been through something like that, I..."
"It's okay. Things have already come to this point. You don't need to delay your own marriage because of me."
Xiang Nanzhi was speaking from the heart, but to Song Ze, it sounded a bit pretentious. However, he didn't call her out on it, keeping one hand in his pocket. "How could I not care about your feelings?"
“Song Ze, you…”
"Nanzhi, I did tell you that I liked her, but now I suddenly realize that the person I can't forget the most is still you."
Xiang Nanzhi opened her mouth slightly, clearly shocked. Even when she and Song Ze were at their best, Song Ze had never said such a thing to her.
He was always aloof and arrogant. Occasionally he would humble himself to do something for her, but he would never show that he cared much about her.
Xiang Nanzhi used to think it was a problem with his personality, but today, after hearing Song Ze say these words, she was somewhat dazed and didn't even know how to respond.
"Although you and Shen Shixun are married, you have no feelings for each other. You've been suffering a lot lately, haven't you?"
Xiang Nanzhi was indeed in a lot of pain before, but after returning from Saigon, she felt that Shen Shixun was a good person, and thinking about it, she didn't feel so bad anymore.
Things had come to this point, so she decided to just let it go. It had taken her a long time to get over her relationship with Song Ze, and now that Song Ze was suddenly saying these things to her again, she was somewhat touched, but also a little confused.
“Song Ze, let’s not talk about these things anymore. You’re going to marry Jiang Yao, and you’ve already made your stance clear to me. You treat me like a younger sister, and I’m not the kind of person who clings to someone relentlessly.”
Song Ze's previous indifference had made her realize how foolish she had been. She knew that Xiang Nanzhi wasn't unwanted, and she wouldn't lower her self-respect again and again for a man.
Her father and two older brothers doted on her and treated her so well. She had lived such a glamorous life since she was a child, so there was no need for her to be subservient to a man.
"Nan Zhi, you are in my heart."
"Song Ze, don't say those things again."
She looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes.
Actually, I didn't want to cry, but thinking about our relationship over the years, and Song Ze's attitude after her accident, made me feel cold every time I thought about it.
How many times had she called him? If he loved her, he should have stood by her side, instead of telling her that he loved someone else and that she had been deluding herself.
“Nan Zhi, that man surnamed Chen is not good enough for you. It was my fault before. I didn’t recognize my own heart. I said I liked Jiang Yao, but I really didn’t know what to do at the time. Everyone knows about you and that man surnamed Chen. I’m a man too.”
"Only by saying I don't love you and I don't like you can I give myself some time to calm down."
Song Ze gently squeezed her shoulders. "After all these years, don't you understand me? If I don't like you, who else could I like? Do you really believe I would like Jiang Yao?"
Xiang Nanzhi looked up, tears welling up in her eyes, "You mean, your liking for Jiang Yao is just an excuse, and you're using your liking for Jiang Yao to distance yourself from me?"
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