Chapter 182 Let him go crazy
Shi Nianzhi opened the door and walked out holding a black umbrella. The sound of raindrops falling on the umbrella was like the loneliness of the deep night, making people feel trapped inside.
From afar, Shi Nianzhi saw Lu Jiunian standing in the pouring rain, soaked to the bone, stubbornly hoping for something.
When Lu Jiunian saw Shi Nianzhi appear, his eyes, which were red from the rain, slowly lit up.
"Read it."
Lu Jiunian called Shi Nianzhi's name, and before Shi Nianzhi could come over, he couldn't wait to go over to her.
The grand gate of Huadiao stood between them, but Shi Nianzhi stopped inside.
Lu Jiunian gripped the cold iron bars, but despite his efforts, he couldn't open the door.
He looked at Shi Nianzhi, puzzled. "Why?"
"What brings you here?"
"Am I only worthy of meeting you like this? What do you take me for? A dog you kept out the door?!"
Lu Jiunian gripped the iron bars with both hands, raindrops trickling down his fair, slender knuckles.
He looked at Shi Nianzhi with such rage that he seemed to want to devour the person in front of him.
Shi Nianzhi held the black umbrella handle, wearing a gray silk nightgown, and stood under the umbrella, gazing at Lu Jiunian with a cool and aloof expression.
His dignified demeanor contrasted sharply with Lu Jiunian's disheveled state at this moment.
He and Lu Jiunian stared at each other for a moment before he spoke calmly, "No one dares to treat Third Master Lu like a dog. You don't need to belittle yourself."
Do you have to talk to me like that?
Lu Jiunian reached his hand through the iron bars, his expression pained and struggling. He raised his hand upwards, his fingers slightly bent in the rain, as if he wanted to touch Shi Nianzhi's face.
Shi Nianzhi lowered her eyes slightly, then took a step back without making a sound.
Even if Lu Jiunian tried his best, he couldn't touch him in the slightest.
Lu Jiunian gripped the bars so tightly, as if he wanted to squeeze his whole body in, but the distance between the bars was too small for him. After squeezing in halfway, he could not move any further.
Lu Jiunian stretched out his hand, as if by maintaining this posture, he could get closer and closer to Shi Nianzhi.
He didn't want to be that far away from him; they shouldn't have been that far apart.
Lu Jiunian's voice was so desolate and disappointed, "Nianzhi, I have no father anymore. Just recently, his hand in my palm lost its warmth. You know, I was so sad, but at my age, it seems that even sadness has become a luxury."
Lu Jiunian lowered his eyes and looked up at Shi Nianzhi. Then his eyes slowly reddened, and tears mixed with rainwater stuck to his face.
He was so silent, yet you could feel the deep sadness in the air.
"Nianzhi, I want to hug you. Can you give me a hug? Please don't distance yourself from me like this. Please, I've never... begged you before."
Shi Nianzhi moved his hand hanging by his side, and finally he lowered his eyes and focused his gaze on Lu Jiunian's finger bones.
After a long while, he raised his hand and grasped Lu Jiunian's hand in the rain.
Lu Jiunian's eyes flashed with joy, and when he tried to squeeze his hand back, Shi Nianzhi had already pulled his hand away.
Lu Jiunian felt a sharp pain in his ring finger as he grasped nothing.
"you......"
Realizing what had happened, Lu Jiunian quickly looked at his ring finger, where the ring he was wearing had been rudely pulled off by Shi Nianzhi.
Shi Nianzhi held the ring in his palm, raising his eyes to look coldly at Lu Jiunian. "I've never bowed my head to beg anyone before, but I've begged you, more than once. I begged you not to abandon me, I begged you to love me, I begged you to believe me..."
Lu Jiunian looked at him with immense heartache.
Shi Nianzhi smiled sarcastically, "What good would begging do? When I sat on the stairs waiting for you to come back and celebrate my birthday, when I mustered the courage to be with you again only to be sent back to my hometown by you, when I had a high fever and my adoptive father was on the verge of death because of me; when I knelt in the snow kowtowing to Gu Zichu and then crawled through the snow picking up money one bill at a time; when I was assassinated at the train station, when Shi Er was seriously injured and hospitalized, and I was afraid he would die; when my mother died in front of me, and I didn't recognize her but felt heartbroken, yet I was mistaken for the murderer; when I was in the pitch-black basement, almost driven mad; when I was blind and struggling to survive in a dilapidated rented room; when I knelt in the snow, pierced by a thousand arrows, screaming in agony, remembering all my memories; when I was in L country, emotionally unstable and prone to madness, where were you?"
"Think of it..."
"Lu Jiunian, I begged you, but you have never treated me kindly in the slightest!"
“Nianzhi, how can we make up and go back to how we were? How can you stop looking at me with such cold eyes? I feel guilty about what happened in the past, but it has already happened. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to die?! Is it only when I die that you will forgive me and stop hurting me like this? Do you know how much I have suffered since you abandoned me? Every day without you by my side is like torture.”
Lu Jiunian lowered his head, looking very sad. He leaned against the iron gate, his shoulders trembling slightly.
He didn't dare to look up at Shi Nianzhi anymore; he was so afraid of him looking like that.
It made him feel like a stranger, and it made him feel like he was in unbearable pain.
After listening to Lu Jiunian's words, Shi Nianzhi's eyes flashed with ruthlessness. "If you die, I will place a bouquet of white chrysanthemums in front of your tombstone. As for forgiveness, I have said that I will never forgive you, and that will not change just because you are dead."
Lu Jiunian finally looked up, his eyes filled with hurt. "Do you have to be so cruel? Didn't you ever love me?"
"I love you, but that doesn't stop me from hating you. The more I love you, the more I hate you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you now, and I wouldn't let this hatred between us end so abruptly."
Shi Nianzhi took off the ring on his ring finger, held both rings in his hand, and said, "You should be glad that I love you, otherwise our fight would be a fight to the death."
Lu Jiunian's pupils contracted sharply as he watched Shi Nianzhi's actions. "What are you going to do?"
"When I wanted to marry you, these rings were worth my life. Now that I don't want you anymore, these rings are like trash."
"No—no—"
Lu Jiunian wanted to stop Shi Nianzhi, but he couldn't reach her at all. So he watched helplessly as Shi Nianzhi threw the rings toward the wall, where rose vines were growing everywhere and the roses looked so beautiful in the rain.
After throwing it away, Shi Nianzhi didn't even glance at it again. He turned around and went back, holding his umbrella.
What was once something I cherished dearly is now like worthless junk.
Lu Jiunian leaned against the large iron gate with its carved wooden frame, and slowly knelt down in the rain, as if his heart had been wounded to a certain extent and he could no longer maintain his standing posture.
He was such a proud man, he had never been so disheveled before, which shows how deeply Shi Nianzhi hurt him.
Only now did Lu Jiunian realize that Shi Nianzhi was serious when she said she wouldn't forgive him and wouldn't stay with him for life.
His son recommended him, he thought of him, he really didn't want him anymore.
No, no—
Lu Jiunian knelt in the puddle and suddenly burst into tears, like a child who had lost a beloved treasure, his heart breaking with grief.
The rain was so heavy that by the time Shi Nianzhi returned, her pajamas were already soaked by the wind and rain.
He took a shower and received a call from his bodyguard when he came out.
They said Lu Jiunian climbed over the wall and was lying on the fence looking for something. He also seemed to be crying very badly. They asked Shi Nianzhi what to do.
Shi Nianzhi's voice, devoid of any emotional fluctuation, sounded extremely cold: "Ignore him, let him go crazy."
"Do you need help, Third Master? The rose bush is an old vine, with lots of thorns—"
"I told you to ignore him! With such overflowing sympathy, why don't you go sweep up the fallen leaves in this downpour?!"
The bodyguard dared not speak again.
The call ended.
Shi Nianzhi sat on the bed, feeling very agitated. He opened a drawer and took out a pack of cigarettes.
"cough----"
He bent down to light a cigarette, but took the first puff too quickly and coughed several times.
After smoking two cigarettes, Shi Nianzhi went to the French windows and yanked open the curtains.
Looking out through the torrential rain, he couldn't actually see anything; all he could see from his angle was the garden scenery. Yet, Shi Nianzhi stubbornly remained standing there.
Despite being drenched in the heavy rain, Lu Jiunian knelt and crawled in the grass, searching for the pair of rings.
The rose vines were thorny, and his fingers were pricked, but he seemed not to feel the pain, searching so carefully, as if the rose vines were his life.
The bodyguards felt a pang of pity seeing his hands covered in cuts and blood on the monitor.
I couldn't help but look at the villa whose lights were already off.
I wonder if the people in the villa feel any heartache.
Shi Nianzhi stood at the window for a while, his brows furrowing more and more. Finally, as if he was angry, he turned around, lay down on the bed, pulled the blanket over his head, and tried to go back to sleep.
But he overestimated himself; he couldn't sleep at all.
Shi Nianzhi suddenly threw off the blanket, opened the door and rushed out to the study to turn on the surveillance camera.
Even after reviewing the surveillance footage, Shi Nianzhi's eyes were still stung. "This madman."
He gritted his teeth, then called his bodyguard, ordering him, "Go and ask Third Master to leave!"
"clear."
As if he had been waiting for these words, the bodyguard immediately grabbed his umbrella and ran out.
The bodyguard stood in front of Lu Jiunian. "Third Master, it's raining so hard, you should go back first. Tell us what you're looking for, and we'll help you find it, okay?"
The bodyguard tried to persuade him, even bending down to help Lu Jiunian search, but Lu Jiunian acted as if he hadn't heard him and continued searching on his own.
He didn't care at all that his hands were already riddled with holes from the thorns.
The bodyguard's phone rang, and he put it to his ear.
Shi Nianzhi coldly ordered, "If he doesn't leave, throw him out."
"this......"
He's already injured like this, and you still want to fight?
"beat."
Shi Nianzhi gave the order again.
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