Chapter 73
When Chen Yun called Song Fenglin's name, she actually didn't mean to say anything, but it seemed that as long as she started, the rest of the words came out naturally.
She sat up straight and smiled bitterly: "I just scolded Chen Xiyang, but if you think about it carefully, what's the difference between him and me?"
Song Fenglin sat up and retorted hastily: "How can it be the same? You..."
Chen Yun didn't let him finish the rest of his words and interrupted him: "I'm not as good as him. At least he really feels that he has paid a lot. As for me, I know that I am a vested interest, but I still keep silent."
Song Fenglin didn't like her using the word "benefit", as if this was a deal: "Don't make yourself sound like a bad person."
Chen Yun insisted: "I am the bad guy."
Song Fenglin felt that her words were like his daughter insisting that she was no longer a childish child. He felt like laughing for some reason, and said in a coaxing tone, "Not bad, not bad."
Chen Yun didn't know why she got angry: "I'm talking to you seriously!"
The tone became higher, Song Fenglin was stunned and apologized subconsciously.
The more this happened, the more powerless Chen Yun felt: "Sometimes I really hope you can lose your temper with me."
Song Fenglin couldn't understand: "Isn't it better not to quarrel?"
Chen Yun: "Listen to me."
"I have a bad temper and I like to find faults no matter what. I will turn my face away from you when I am unhappy. I will also take my anger out on you when I get angry outside. My parents love me so much, but they also have times when they are upset with me. But we have been married for ten years and have never had a quarrel."
"I was very satisfied at first. After all, who doesn't like to be like an emperor? My parents can feel at ease, and my children don't have to face family conflicts. But later I felt it was unreal. How could someone keep giving in? More than one person told me that you are unbelievably good."
"I also thought it was impossible, so I kept thinking about it. For a while, I kept reading those crime-solving novels, in which the husbands who always tolerated others ended up becoming murderers."
At this point, Song Fenglin's eyes widened. He probably didn't expect that she had suspected that he would become a murderer, and his expression showed a bit of grievance.
The next second, Chen Yun said: "But I don't think you will. If you get angry, you will probably cut yourself."
Song Fenglin actually nodded in agreement, without any intention of fighting for his own life.
Chen Yun couldn't help but sigh and started the conversation again: "From childhood to adulthood, my parents' attention has been on me, pouring all their time, affection and money into me."
"I didn't tell you that for a while I was suspicious that they were so nice to me because they didn't have a son. I deliberately didn't study hard and got the lowest grades. I also found fault with everything at home."
"That year, they worked really hard to make money, and our family bought a second house in my name. Mom said it was okay not to like studying, as long as you didn't do bad things. At that time, I vowed to be a child that others could be proud of."
At this point, she slowly paused. Song Fenglin thought that meant she was done with it, so he said, "You definitely are."
Chen Yun: “But it’s very tiring.”
Even if no one asked her to do so, she still forced herself to take out something that matched her love in exchange. But who knew that after she exhausted herself to pass the first hurdle, there would be another one.
She really had nothing, and even the affection she could give had become scarce. Instead, she felt lost as each day passed. She smiled bitterly, "Sometimes I even wish they would love me less. Isn't that very ungrateful?"
Song Fenglin wanted to laugh, but found that he couldn't.
He seemed to understand what Chen Yun said, but also seemed not to understand it at all, and he looked at a loss.
Chen Yun couldn't say any more.
She used to thank God for letting her meet good people, and now she understands the saying "everyone has his own retribution". If she could enjoy all this with peace of mind, perhaps everything would be calm, but she just couldn't do it. She didn't even have the courage to look Song Fenglin in the face at this moment.
Song Fenglin didn't even look at her, but stared at the colorful quilt.
The atmosphere at the moment almost suffocated him, especially when he thought of the hysteria before his parents' divorce many years ago. The scene before him seemed to have an extra layer of illusion, and he had to pinch his palms.
The pain made his soul return to its place: "I won't make you tired."
He lay down first and covered his head with the quilt: "Go to sleep, it's late."
Chen Yun didn't expect him to react like this: "You..."
Song Fenglin called her name loudly, trying his best to stop the following content: "Chen Yun."
He showed a pair of sad eyes: "Stop talking, okay?"
In the void, it seemed as if a pair of hands were strangling Chen Yun's throat.
She could only utter one word: "Okay."
——
The room fell into darkness again, and it was so quiet that even the sound of breathing could hardly be heard, but Chen Yun knew that Song Fenglin must not be asleep.
What would he be thinking? What will happen tomorrow?
Chen Yun went over all the worst possible outcomes in her mind, but suddenly found that she didn't have the courage to bear them.
She really didn't want to wait for an unknown judgment, or maybe she was fearless because she knew she was favored. Even at this point, she still felt certain and moved her hand slowly, slowly, slowly.
As if sensing something, Song Fenglin turned over and avoided her approach.
Chen Yun felt like he was slapped in the face, his mind went blank, and a heavy burden weighed on his heart.
At this moment, she began to regret what she had just said.
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