Chapter 55: I Will Never Regret Forcing Her to Marry and Have a Child
Ignoring Lin Shutang's pale face, Shen Xiuyan remained calm and composed. "Of course, whether you choose to be a traitor or to rightfully purge the court of corrupt officials depends on your choice."
"Aren't you afraid that telling me all this will ruin the Third Prince's plans?"
"So, I'm giving you the choice. On that day, will you save him or harm him? The choice is yours." He revealed a playful look, glanced at the sky, and said meaningfully, "It's getting late. I'm looking forward to that day."
"Sister-in-law," he called in a low voice as he passed by her, each word uttered as if to warn her of something. Yet, his light tone also seemed to mock the meaning of those two words.
Lin Shutang really couldn't understand this person. Shen Xiuyan's words today were too impactful, and her head was still buzzing.
It felt as if a mountain was pressing down on her shoulders; no matter which direction she went, that mountain continued to weigh heavily on her shoulders.
There was a blood feud between her and Shen Jun; how could she forget it so easily?
Lin Shutang had never thought that a person could be so divided. She knew she shouldn't be soft-hearted. Shen Yun's hands were stained with the blood of her Lin family. He killed them, harmed her senior brother, and forced her to marry and have children.
Over the years, he could easily get whatever he wanted. She was forever bound and coerced by him. He was high and mighty, treating human life like dirt. He should pay some price for this...
When Lin Shutang returned to Jingyuan Residence, he was still in a daze.
Zhao Mingzhu followed Ji Huaiyi to the northern frontier, and Shen Zhixi went to Jiangnan. Changning, whose relationship with Shen Zhixi had eased because of her jumping into the lake to save her that day, was also trapped in the palace.
Lin Shutang didn't have many friends, but they were all too busy taking care of themselves.
With just a gentle lift of her hand, Shen Yun could make her lose everything in this Jade Capital, as if the center of her life truly revolved solely around Shen Yun.
Her senior brother, whom she regarded as family, thought that even with the protection of the Third Prince, Shen Yun could easily shut down his shop and cut off his escape route.
Lin Shutang gradually realized that Jingyuan Residence was nothing more than a physical prison. If Shen Jun wanted to release her, she would have nowhere to go and nowhere to go.
It's like a bird that's been fed; even if the cage is opened, it can no longer flap its wings.
Lin Shutang wasn't exactly sad, but he seemed somewhat numb.
She sat by the window, watching the crabapple blossoms in full bloom in the courtyard. Clusters of pink and white flowers swayed in the wind, and the falling petals reflected iridescent halos in the spring sunlight filtering through the branches. They danced freely in mid-air, like fluttering butterflies.
Spring has come again.
This is her fourth year in the Duke's mansion...
Without a doubt, Lin Shutang has undeniably treated Shen Yun very well on many occasions in the past.
The crabapple blossoms in Jingyuan Residence can bloom from January to July. What used to be only the green of pines and cypresses throughout the year will be transformed into an endless sea of flowers because of Lin Shutang's arrival. Ice chests are always present in summer, and silver charcoal always burns at its reddest in winter.
He gave her a prestigious status, a life of luxury, and the dignity and glory of being subservient to everyone.
She doesn't have to drink until she vomits at banquets for a little bit of profit, nor does she have to travel to various states and counties for a living, becoming homeless and displaced.
Everything she had tried so hard to obtain only required a simple sentence from Shen Yun.
To outsiders, Shen Yun was definitely the most discerning and flawless husband in Yujing, and Lin Shutang always seemed to be the one who was marrying above his station.
Shen Yun's father was the Duke of Dingguo, who was famous throughout the court, and his mother came from a prominent family in Jiangnan with three generations of Jinshi (successful candidates in the highest imperial examinations). He himself was a general with outstanding military achievements.
Compared to the radiant Shen Yun, Lin Shutang always seemed so dull and ordinary.
But Lin Shutang also had loving parents and fellow disciples who doted on her. She had seen rivers and mountains, walked through valleys and dense forests. The rising sun and the fullest moon had illuminated her footprints throughout the nine provinces and four seas of the Sheng Dynasty.
She has breathed the wildest mountain air, stepped into the coldest snowmelt, and heard the most moving folk songs.
Compared to Shen Yun, who has everything, Lin Shutang never felt that he lacked anything.
Shen Yun can get Lin Shutang without paying any price.
But Lin Shutang wants to stay by Shen Jun's side, but she will lose a lot because of it.
Along the way, from Yizhou to Xixian, and then from Xixian to Yujing, Lin Shutang lost her relatives and friends, lost her freedom, and now she has nothing and is all alone, but she may very well face losing herself again.
Not falling in love with Shen Yun is the only thing Lin Shutang can still hold onto as Lin Shutang...
Sunlight streamed down from the eaves, and Lin Shutang watched the light and shadow shift before her eyes, falling on her face and fading away from the corridor until finally, only the radiant glow of the sunset shone on half the sky above Jingyuan Residence. The orange-red clouds and the clusters of crabapple blossoms complemented each other, creating a breathtakingly beautiful scene.
Lin Shutang gazed quietly at the sky, the rising clouds casting a soft, warm hue on her face. Her hair, styled in a frilly bun, hung down beside her ears, and her fair skin and neck made her look like a graceful figure in an ancient painting.
Shen Yun stared at the beautiful figure in front of the latticed window for a long time, his calm expression revealing no emotion.
After a long while, he slowly walked to Lin Shutang's side.
"I heard from the servants that you haven't eaten today?" Shen Yun stood beside her, the latticed window wide open, the evening breeze still carrying the damp chill of spring.
Shen Yun frowned and looked in the direction Lin Shutang was looking.
"I’m waiting for you."
Lin Shutang propped herself up, lowered her hand from the windowsill, and turned to look at Shen Yun. The two figures, one sitting and one fighting, were hidden in the unlit room, each only able to see half of the other's expression.
Shen Yun looked down at her, a slight, sarcastic smile playing on his lips. "Waiting for me?"
"Shen Yun." Lin Shutang stood up, looking directly into his sharp, dark eyes, and said, word by word, "I want to ask you one question: Have you ever, even for a moment, regretted killing them?"
As she spoke, her fingertips unconsciously dug into her palm. She thought she could ask these questions calmly, but when the moment came, a tremor still escaped her lips.
She didn't know what answer she wanted to hear.
It felt like something was pulling at her, and Lin Shutang felt like she was splitting into two people.
She felt like she was standing at a crossroads, surrounded by thick fog, with no one telling her how to choose or what she should choose.
Compared to Lin Shutang's nervousness, Shen Jun showed no surprise at all. He just stared at Lin Shutang, his eyes as unfathomable as a deep pool.
His current dark blue complexion made him appear even more gloomy.
His smile deepened, but it didn't reach his eyes. "What answer do you hope for?"
Lin Shutang's eyes reddened, and a sour feeling seemed to well up in her throat. She looked at Shen Jun with some sadness.
There was no need to explain this clearly, because to Shen Yun, those lives were insignificant. He was even unwilling to face the souls of those who died at his hands with a straight eye.
Lin Shutang couldn't understand how he could be so cold-blooded and cruel, making her feel that her momentary hesitation was a joke.
She involuntarily took a step back, looking at the man she had shared a bed with for five years as if he were a complete stranger.
Shen Yun slowly approached her, meeting her gaze which seemed to contain a mixture of fear, disgust, and strange emotions. The shadows behind her resembled a silent swamp that would engulf her.
"And what about you?" he asked.
"If I hadn't been able to go to Xi County that day, would you have married Song Ying? Would you have really become his wife?"
He spoke in a steady voice, his expression unchanged. Lin Shutang did not miss the fleeting sarcasm in his eyes, as if he already knew her answer.
When Lin Shutang answered "yes" without hesitation, the mockery deepened.
He chuckled softly, his lowered eyelids concealing a deep, unreadable silence. "So what's the point of asking this?"
"I never regret it. What's done is done."
His soft, slightly hoarse voice lingered in the wind, "Otherwise, we wouldn't be where we are today."
...
With only half a month left until the spring hunt, Shen Yun became increasingly busy.
With Ji Huaiyi gone, Shen Xiuyan was unfamiliar with many affairs, and the Emperor also intended to add more official positions to share power, so many important tasks temporarily fell on Shen Yun's shoulders.
Especially for this year's spring hunting banquet, Shen Yun was in charge of both the inner and outer security.
Because he was so busy, Lin Shutang's secret dealings with Shen Xiuyan became even more successful.
Two nights before his departure, Shen Xiuyan gave Lin Shutang a token and told her to keep it safe.
"The spring hunt is on Xiwu Mountain. Everyone knows that it is where Shen Yun's imperial training ground is located. No one knows the terrain of Xiwu Mountain better than him. It is not unjust for him to be accused of this crime."
“Without Ji Huaiyi’s help, he would be isolated and helpless, and would surely die.” Shen Xiuyan looked at Lin Shutang with amusement, appreciating the expression on her face.
"At three-quarters past 9 PM that night, you will leave through the southwest gate. Shen Jun is responsible for protecting the royal hunting grounds and will have no time to attend to you. Just follow my men. This token will help you pass through smoothly."
"Are you so sure I'll light the fireworks?" Lin Shutang looked away from the token.
Shen Xiuyan shook his head, somewhat disagreeing with Lin Shutang's words, "That's why I'm gambling."
"However, putting you in this position is not about betting everything on you, but rather that having you do it will be more likely to deliver a fatal blow to Shen Jun."
“You are his wife, and I believe that if you were to come forward, it would be more convincing to me that Shen Yun had committed acts of disloyalty.” Shen Xiuyan smiled. “Moreover, I also want to see what kind of interesting expression Shen Yun will have when he learns the truth.”
Lin Shutang didn't have time to watch him revel in his self-admiration; he took the token and turned to leave.
After returning to Jingyuan Residence, Shen Yun had not yet returned, so Lin Shutang took a bath and went to bed first.
During this period, they both seemed very busy. Since that day, they rarely had time to be truly present with each other.
Shen Yun always came back late at night, and sometimes the light in the study would stay on all night.
Sometimes he would enter the bedroom when Lin Shutang was asleep, sit by the bed and watch her until dawn before leaving.
When Lin Shutang woke up the next day, the bedding beside him was neat and tidy, without any sign of being messy.
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