Chapter 83 Upon meeting again, he still wouldn't let her go.
Lin Shutang brought Shen Yan back to the courtyard. She went to the kitchen to boil a pot of water, first asking Shen Yan to change out of his dusty clothes, and then applied medicine to him after he was washed.
Lin Shutang didn't have any children's clothes, so he had to go to the village to borrow a set of clean clothes for Shen Yan's age while he was taking a bath.
Country people's clothes are mostly made of coarse cloth, which is not very comfortable to wear, especially for someone of Shen Yan's age who has delicate skin. Looking at him, with his slightly oversized collar, the exposed pale skin already had red marks from the chafing.
Lin Shutang looked at him and told him to sit on a small stool in the courtyard. She squatted down, gently blew on the wound, and applied medicine to his scraped knee. Her voice was flat as she said, "Get some rest tonight. Tomorrow I'll take you to town to find the officials."
This is to send him back.
Shen Yan looked up at her. "I was kicked out by my family. Even if you send me back, they will still send me away."
Upon hearing this, Lin Shutang paused in his actions, as if intrigued. "Then tell me, why did your family kick you out?"
“They…” Shen Yan pursed her lips, thought for a moment, and then blurted out, “Actually, I don’t want to stay at home. I don’t have a mother, and my father often beats me.”
"What?" Lin Shutang thought she must have misheard.
Shen Yan nodded emphatically at Lin Shutang's reaction. "It's true. My father treats me very badly. He ignores me and beats me whenever he sees me. He doesn't give me food. I really don't want to go back."
He spoke with such sincerity that tears welled in his eyes, "I beg you, please take me in."
He jumped down from the small stool and said, "I don't eat much either, but I can help you with a lot of things."
"It's not good for a child to lie." Lin Shutang looked at the child who was barely between her legs and frowned.
"I'm not lying. My mother is gone, so naturally my father won't treat me much better." He sobbed, his eyes turning red.
They look so pitiful.
Lin Shutang felt a pang of sadness, thinking that a child this age could not possibly lie.
What he said actually makes sense. Who knows if his father really treats him badly just because his mother is gone?
"If your family comes looking for you, I won't keep you here."
Lin Shutang's statement was a concession. After all, the journey was long, and what if the officials weren't diligent on the road?
“They won’t know where I went.” Shen Yan nodded emphatically, a slight smile playing on his lips, a hint of smugness in his expression.
Unexpectedly, just the next day, the father he had been talking about who had ignored him suddenly appeared before him.
Early in the morning, there was a knock on the courtyard gate. At that time, he was sitting on a high bench, his feet not even touching the ground, and he could only sway in the air.
He leisurely scooped up the sweet porridge from the bowl with a spoon and ate it.
When there was no sound for a long time at the courtyard gate, Shen Yan turned his head and saw a tall and straight figure standing outside the slightly open gate, which could not be hidden even by Lin Shutang's slender back.
Shen Yan was immediately terrified, his scalp tingling.
He never expected that his father would find out where he had come so quickly, and that he would even abandon his official duties to chase after him to this place thousands of miles away.
He saw his mother's slightly trembling back, her fingers gripping the courtyard gate until they turned pale.
He jumped off the table and ran to the courtyard gate.
Shen Yan didn't know much, but from his vague childhood memories and the gossip of the old people below, he vaguely knew that he was forced by his father to give birth to his mother.
My mother hates my father so much that she insists on leaving the Duke's mansion and doesn't want him along with her.
Shen Yan could only conceal her identity and stay by Lin Shutang's side. She never dared to tell Lin Shutang her true identity and only thought of herself as a runaway child.
Shen Yan didn't ask for much; she only wished to stay by her mother's side for a while, hoping to receive some love from her mother, even if it was just pity for a stranger.
But now he is being cruelly interrupted by his own father.
Shen Yan was undoubtedly furious.
Lin Shutang had considered seeing Shen Yun again, perhaps one day at the end of a long street, or one day when they looked back and exchanged a silent glance.
Even now that Shen Yan has come looking for her, she still thinks he will just send someone to take him away.
Unexpectedly, he came to our door in person.
Three years had passed since we last met. His facial features were even more sharp than before, and beneath his thin eyelids, his eyes remained as cold and unfathomable as ever.
His aura was cold and aloof, and his silent, pursed lips gave people an inexplicable sense of oppression.
Lin Shutang stood in front of him, so delicate that she seemed completely enveloped by him, and her breathing unconsciously slowed down.
"Since you're here, take him with you."
Lin Shutang glanced at him and immediately lowered her head. She still couldn't help but tremble when she saw Shen Yun. Those past experiences and subconscious reactions were like branding irons etched into her body.
In just a moment, her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest, and a chill ran down her spine.
As soon as Shen Yan arrived at Lin Shutang's side, she heard that Lin Shutang was going to send her away, and her expression immediately changed.
He thought that his deception had made his mother's already thin affection for him even more precarious. Just like Shen Yun, his eyebrows and eyes drooped down, and a thin red ring appeared at the corners of his eyes.
“Mother,” he finally spoke, tearing away the tacit pretense between them, “I didn’t mean to deceive you.”
Lin Shutang was startled by the shout; she had recognized the child the moment she saw him.
Since Shen Yan didn't explicitly reveal the truth, she naturally wouldn't say much about how she knew him.
Since we're all going to leave sooner or later, why drag things out?
Thinking of this, the stunned expression on her face disappeared, and she looked up at Shen Yun, her gaze turning as cold and fierce as it had been three years ago. "Shen Yun, take him away."
Seeing her resolute appearance, Shen Yun's throat tightened slightly. He forced down the feeling of bitterness, lowered his eyes to look at Shen Yan, his gaze cold and sharp, carrying a sense of pressure, "Come here."
Shen Yan was unwilling, and looked up at Lin Shutang with tears in her eyes.
Lin Shutang looked away, her voice muffled, "Don't be so mean to him, and don't hit him."
After saying that, she slammed the courtyard gate shut, refusing to let the two of them in.
Chen Yan stood there dejectedly, staring at the closed courtyard gate, forcing himself to purse his lips and hold back the tears that were about to fall.
"You tell her, 'I hit you all the time?'"
Shen Yun showed no concern whatsoever for Shen Yan's forced vulnerability, instead fixating on Shen Yan's nonsense about trying to soften Lin Shutang's heart.
Shen Yan was very angry at this moment. His mother had already softened her heart and decided to keep him. They got along very well. It was only because Shen Jun came that his mother became so resolute again.
He raised his hand, wiped his eyes, turned around to look at him, and said through gritted teeth, "It's all because of you that my mother kicked me out."
"Isn't that because you lied to her?" Shen Yun glanced at him and laughed contemptuously. "If you had told her your identity from the beginning, do you think she would have let you in?"
Shen Yan was already heartbroken because Lin Shutang had kicked him out, and Shen Yun's words were like rubbing salt into his wounds.
His little chest heaved with anger, and he couldn't help but shout, "Isn't it all because of you? Does Mother dislike me, or is it because of you?"
Shen Yun's eyes turned cold.
Upon hearing these words, Yingxiao shuddered in fright. He quickly and perceptively stepped forward, pulled his young master aside, and gently coaxed him, "Look, the weather is about to change. The most important thing for us is to hurry back to town and find an inn to stay in."
Shen Yan turned her head away and said defiantly, "Once you leave, my mother will call me in."
"Then ignore him." Shen Yun glanced at him, strode past him, her back view resolute, clearly not a pretense to scare him.
Yingxiao glanced at the young master's dejected and aloof back, then looked at the young master in front of him, who stood motionless in front of the courtyard gate with his brows furrowed. It seemed that neither father nor son wanted to lose face.
Yingxiao gritted her teeth in distress, and with a heavy heart, chased after Shen Yun, "Young Master, are you really going to abandon the young master?"
They went through all that trouble to get from Yujing to this barren place, far from any village or shop, only to return empty-handed.
"Yingxiao, go to the brokerage and rent that room next door," Shen Yun instructed, tilting her chin slightly as she pointed to the empty room next to Lin Shutang.
"Young Master?" Yingxiao was shocked by these words and quickly stepped in front of Shenyun. Did this mean they wanted to stay for a long time? "Aren't we going back to Yujing?"
“Yingxiao, I want to take her back.” Shen Yun stopped and looked at him, her eyes sincere, without a trace of joking.
Yingxiao felt as if she had been struck by lightning. How was this situation any different from when the Crown Prince went to Xi County to forcibly bring his wife back eight years ago?
His guess was indeed correct; he should have stopped the prince that day and come to Liangzhou alone to bring back the young master.
He had witnessed the painful entanglement between the Crown Prince and his wife over the years.
Having finally severed the ill-fated relationship, are we about to repeat the same mistakes?
Yingxiao wanted to speak again to persuade him, but when she saw the weariness in the prince's eyes, she couldn't help but purse her lips.
During the three years that the lady was away, he had seen how the young master had changed.
What difference is there between them and the walking dead?
Yingxiao sighed and finally accepted the order to carry it out.
Shen Yun turned to look at the corner of the house that stretched out into the maple forest in the distance, and slowly lowered her eyes.
Ah Tang, don't blame him.
He could no longer let go.
During these three years, he made himself diligent in his official duties, not giving himself even the slightest chance to catch his breath, simply because if he stopped, his empty chest would feel as if it were filled with a huge rock, and the helplessness, despair, and pain would feel like a sharp blade slowly tearing him apart.
Countless nights he stayed in that empty room, feeling as if he were guarding a tomb.
Someone who will never appear again, someone who will never return. We'll never even hear her name spoken by those around us again.
He lost count of the countless days and nights he spent sitting in that bedroom filled with their memories, watching the sunset slowly sink in the west and the lights under the corridor gradually dim. Sometimes he would see Lin Shutang walking around in the room, and when he tried to touch her, she would suddenly disperse like ripples on water.
He was going crazy; the shadows were like vines binding his limbs, slowly eroding his sanity.
He couldn't stop thinking about her, wanted to keep her here, to trap her, to keep her by his side, and he would share the pain with her.
His breathing became heavy, and his eyes burned red. In this extreme tension and desire, he repeatedly whipped and tore himself apart, and unexpectedly gained a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
Yes, bring her back, whether she wants to or not.
But as soon as dawn breaks, all the darkness, filth, distortion, and unbearable things are exposed.
He suddenly felt sorry for her and that he was hateful. Why couldn't he let her go even after pushing her to such a point?
He gave a self-deprecating laugh, thinking that if he broke his promise like that, he would probably lose even the last bit of goodwill from her.
He dared not see her, and could only rely on knowing about her trivial matters as if she were still by his side.
But that's not enough, not nearly enough.
Now, he finally has a chance to see her, to see her legitimately and openly.
He thought, just once, only once.
Taking advantage of the opportunity to pick up Shen Yan and see her one more time, to hear her say a few words, he thought he could hold on for a very long time.
But when they actually met, he suddenly felt unsatisfied.
He saw the vivid expression on her porcelain-white face, watched her unconsciously bite her lower lip, and the prominent knuckles on the thin, snow-white skin of her drooping neck...
His blood, calm as still water, surged through his limbs and bones, burning his internal organs. His breath was heavy, violently pounding his flesh as if it were about to burst forth. He tried his best to suppress it, just to appear restrained and at peace in front of her.
He let out a deep breath. Since he couldn't let go, he would take her back.
This time, however, he will be much gentler...
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Author's Note: Oh, I forgot to mention, if you want a bad ending, just stop at chapter 81. [Lower-eared rabbit head]
I previously said that the main story would end badly, while the epilogue would end happily, which is actually at the end of chapter 81. This is mainly because all the plot lines end in chapter 81, and the rest of the story is happy, happy, happy!
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