Chapter 23
The minor ripples caused by the sports meet quickly subsided under the pressure of daily studies. Xu Nianlei seemed to have reverted to her quiet, almost transparent self, but Lu Boyan keenly noticed a difference—when she occasionally looked at him because of his help (such as handing him a note with a key formula written on it, or subtly guiding him during group discussions), her eyes held less panic and more of a complex, puzzled inquiry.
She was trying to understand him. That was good. Lu Baiyan thought, he didn't need her to be grateful or respond immediately, he just needed her to stop completely shutting him out of her heart.
With midterm exams approaching, an invisible tension hung in the air. On Saturday afternoon, Lu Baiyan went to the county library as usual. It was the place he frequented most besides school and home—quiet, orderly, allowing him to temporarily escape the heavy pressure and chaotic thoughts brought on by the relentless cycle of exams.
He sat down in his usual seat in the natural sciences section, opening his physics competition problem set. Sunlight streamed through the tall glass windows, casting warm dappled patterns on the polished wooden floor. After reading a few pages, he habitually glanced up, his gaze sweeping across the reading area opposite.
Then, he stopped moving.
In an inconspicuous corner by the window sat a familiar figure: Xu Nianlei. Several thick reference books and notebooks were spread out in front of her, and she was engrossed in writing something, her expression focused, occasionally furrowing her brow slightly when she encountered a difficult problem.
Why was she here? Lu Baiyan was somewhat surprised. In his memory (both the "last time" and this time), Xu Nianlei spent almost all her free time trapped in that suffocating family, or wandering aimlessly on the streets in an attempt to escape. The library, a place that symbolizes knowledge, order, and tranquility, seemed out of place with her somber palette.
But she just sat there, bathed in the afternoon sun, like a moss quietly growing in the corner of the wall, fragile, yet possessing a tenacious vitality.
Lu Baiyan's heart skipped a beat. He didn't rush forward immediately, but just watched quietly. He saw her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and saw her eyes light up slightly as she solved a difficult problem. Although the light was fleeting, it was real.
A strange sense of peace enveloped him. In this bookish space, on this sunny afternoon, she temporarily escaped the mire of reality and was simply an ordinary girl studying hard.
He lowered his head and continued reading his book, without turning a page. A fierce internal struggle was raging. Was this an opportunity? An opportunity to communicate naturally without attracting too much attention?
Finally, he closed the book, stood up, and walked towards her. His footsteps were exceptionally clear in the quiet reading area.
Xu Nianlei was completely immersed in the world of mathematics until a shadow fell on her book, at which point she looked up blankly. When she saw who was standing next to the table, the color drained from her face, a hint of panic flashed in her eyes, and she instinctively wanted to close the book, like a child caught doing something wrong.
"Class...class monitor?" Her voice trembled with uncertainty.
Seeing her startled expression, Lu Baiyan sighed inwardly, trying his best to keep his expression and tone calm and natural: "What a coincidence, you're here to study too?"
"Hmm..." Xu Nianlei lowered her head, her fingers nervously digging into the edges of the book pages. "It's a bit noisy at home."
Behind those few simple words lay endless hardship. Lu Baiyan understood, but didn't press for details. His gaze fell on the problem she was working on—a problem about the comprehensive application of trigonometric functions. The steps were somewhat cumbersome, and she was stuck on a simplification step.
“Here,” he said, pointing to a step on her draft paper, his voice low so only the two of them could hear, “use the sum-to-product formula, it will be much simpler.”
His fingertips were long and clean, only centimeters from her pen tip, yet they didn't actually touch. His voice was calm, carrying a pure, academic tone, devoid of any hint of charity or pity.
Xu Nianlei looked in the direction he pointed, and a flash of inspiration struck her, instantly clearing her blocked thoughts. She immediately picked up a pen and recalculated according to his instructions, and sure enough, it went much more smoothly.
"Thank you..." she said softly, still not daring to look up.
"You're welcome." Lu Baiyan paused, seemingly hesitating for a moment, before casually suggesting, "The lighting here is nice, and it's quite quiet. I'm over there," he pointed to his previous spot, "If you have any other questions, you can come and ask me."
After saying that, he didn't linger. He turned around and went back to his seat, picking up the physics competition book again, as if it had really just been a chance encounter and a casual act of help.
Xu Nianlei watched his departing figure, then looked at the problem in front of her that suddenly seemed clear, her feelings a tangled mess. Coincidence? Or…? She shook her head, forcing herself to stop thinking about it and refocus on her studies.
However, in the time that followed, she found herself unable to concentrate as fully as before. Out of the corner of her eye, she would unconsciously glance at the tall figure opposite her. He was engrossed in his book, his profile sharply defined in the sunlight, occasionally furrowing his brow as he pondered, his fingers tapping lightly on the pages.
A strange, tingling sensation, like a spring stream, quietly washed over her frozen heart. She had never before been so...close to any man in such a quiet, peaceful environment, free from conflict and pressure.
During that time, she did encounter an English grammar question that she just couldn't figure out—a complex conditional sentence with the subjunctive mood. She struggled for a long time, secretly glancing at Lu Baiyan several times, before finally mustering her courage, grabbing her book and notebook, and walking over as lightly as a cat.
"Class monitor...can...can I bother you for a moment?" Her voice was barely audible.
Lu Baiyan looked up and saw her standing by the table, her cheeks slightly flushed, her eyes sparkling like a small animal tentatively extending its paw. He put down his pen and nodded gently: "Of course, which question?"
He took her book, examined it carefully, and then began to explain. His thoughts were clear, his language concise, and he showed no impatience whatsoever. During his explanation, he would occasionally glance up at her to make sure she was following.
Standing beside him, Xu Nianlei could smell the clean scent of soap on him and feel his soft breathing as he spoke. Her heart was pounding, but strangely, the inferiority and panic she felt from being near such an outstanding man seemed to be somewhat lessened by a thirst for knowledge and the tranquility soothed by his calm demeanor.
"Do you understand?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Okay, I understand, thank you." Xu Nianlei nodded quickly, took the book, and almost fled back to her seat. Her cheeks were burning hot, but she felt a sense of relief and lightness in her heart.
That afternoon, time seemed to stretch out. The sunlight moved slowly, and the only sounds in the library were the turning of pages and the soft scratching of pens. They studied individually, and occasionally, Xu Nianlei would come over with questions, which Lu Baiyan would always answer patiently. There were no unnecessary pleasantries, no deliberate attempts to get closer, only a pure and peaceful exchange based on learning.
As the sun began to set, its orange-red rays streaming through the windows and bathing the entire reading area in warmth, Xu Nianlei started packing her things. Lu Baiyan also closed his book.
The two stood up almost simultaneously, their eyes briefly meeting in the air.
"Are you going back?" Lu Baiyan asked.
"Mm." Xu Nianlei nodded.
"Let's go out together," he said casually.
The two walked out of the library side by side, the evening breeze carrying a chill. Xu Nianlei subconsciously wrapped her gray coat tighter around herself (the one Lu Baiyan had anonymously given her).
When they reached the fork in the road, Xu Nianlei stopped and whispered, "I'll go this way."
"Okay." Lu Baiyan nodded. "Be careful on the road."
"Mmm," Xu Nianlei responded, turning and quickly leaving. After a few steps, she couldn't help but look back. She saw Lu Baiyan still standing there, the setting sun outlining his long silhouette behind him, gazing in her direction.
When he saw her turn around, he seemed to pause slightly, then raised his hand and waved it very lightly.
Xu Nianlei's heart skipped a beat, as if struck by something. She hurriedly turned around, quickened her pace, and almost ran away. Her heart pounded in her chest, her cheeks burned, and an unprecedented emotion, a mixture of shyness, panic, and a hint of secret sweetness, spread through her heart.
Lu Baiyan watched her figure disappear around the street corner, a barely perceptible upward curve appearing at the corners of his mouth. The afterglow of the setting sun fell into his eyes, reflecting a gentle light.
Leilei, this afternoon, this sunshine, this peaceful conversation, are a small gift I'm giving you. I hope it can be like a seed, sprouting a little expectation for a bright future in your heart.
He knew that the road ahead was still long and arduous. But at least today, he saw something else in her eyes besides melancholy and fear—a sense of satisfaction from acquiring knowledge, and a glimmer of hope from being treated equally.
That's enough. For her now, this little bit of light is perhaps the only strength that keeps her going. And he will do everything in his power to ensure that this light never goes out.
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