Chapter 35
The success of earning money from her writing was like a shot in the arm, injecting vitality into Xu Nianlei's barren heart. She remained silent, but that silence was no longer a lifeless, oppressive one; instead, it carried an inner, quietly growing strength. She began to read more actively, not just textbooks, but also literary magazines and essay collections that Lu Baiyan had "inadvertently" placed on her desk. Her essays became increasingly insightful and beautifully written, frequently being read aloud by her Chinese teacher as model texts.
Li Yue and Zhang Xiao clearly sensed her change. Although they didn't understand why, they were happy to see it happen and felt more comfortable around her. Liu Yiduo, on the other hand, fell completely silent. The occasional glances she cast were complex and unreadable, but no longer carried obvious hostility.
The rumors about her in class gradually changed from "that poor wretch with an alcoholic father" to "that quiet girl who writes very well." This change in label signified a subtle improvement in her living environment.
Lu Baiyan observed all of this with a sense of relief, yet dared not relax for a moment. He knew that beneath the surface calm, undercurrents were still surging. Although Xu Jianguo was temporarily hospitalized, Wang Xiuqin was still under economic pressure and suffering mental torment. Moreover, he vaguely learned through that anonymous information channel that "Scarface Liu" had not completely given up on pursuing Xu Jianguo because he hadn't received the money; he was simply holding back for the time being.
He must use this precious respite to consolidate his gains and prepare for the next possible storm.
One afternoon during self-study, the homeroom teacher announced that in order to enrich students' extracurricular life, the school was preparing to establish several school-level clubs, including a literature club, a debate club, and a science and technology innovation club, and encouraged students to sign up and participate according to their interests.
"The literary society is run by the Chinese language teaching and research group. It will greatly improve everyone's writing skills. Interested students can come to me after class to sign up," the homeroom teacher added, her gaze seemingly sweeping over Xu Nianlei intentionally or unintentionally.
Lu Baiyan's heart skipped a beat. This was an excellent opportunity! Allowing Xu Nianlei to enter a more inclusive platform where she could better utilize her strengths would not only further boost her confidence but also allow her to meet more like-minded people and further break free from her relatively isolated state in the class.
As soon as the bell rang, several students interested in literature gathered around the podium. Xu Nianlei sat in her seat, her eyes revealing a clear longing, but her body seemed rooted to the spot, remaining motionless. Volunteering and expressing her desire in front of others remained a significant psychological hurdle for her.
Lu Baiyan didn't push her away like before. He stood up, not going to the podium, but instead walking to the bulletin board at the back of the classroom, where detailed notices and application forms for clubs were posted. He picked up a pen and solemnly wrote his name on the literary club application form.
Then, he turned around, looking calmly in Xu Nianlei's direction. He didn't say anything, but simply placed the pen lightly next to the registration form and made a very subtle gesture to signal her to come over.
The movement was so subtle that almost no one noticed. But Xu Nianlei, who had been watching him out of the corner of her eye, felt her heart skip a beat. She understood what he meant.
Shall we go?
Her fingers clenched nervously, a fierce internal struggle raging within her. Desire and fear, like two venomous snakes, intertwined and tore at each other.
Just then, Li Yue and Zhang Xiao also came over.
“Nianlei, let’s join the literary society! You write such good essays, it would be a shame if you didn’t!” Li Yue enthusiastically pulled her arm.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s sign up together, then we’ll have each other!” Zhang Xiao chimed in.
Encouragement and support from her friends, coupled with Lu Baiyan's silent yet resolute gaze from afar, acted like two forces, finally pushing Xu Nianlei to her feet. She took a deep breath, and as if heading to battle, lowered her head and strode quickly to the bulletin board.
Below Lu Baiyan's name, she picked up the pen that still retained the warmth of his fingertips and, with a slightly trembling hand, wrote her own name—Xu Nianlei.
The handwriting was slightly crooked, but perfectly clear.
The moment she finished writing, she felt all the strength drain from her body, her cheeks burning hot, and she almost dared not look around. But deep inside, she felt a strange, liberating lightness, as if she had broken free of shackles.
As Lu Baiyan watched her write her name, noticing her flushed cheeks and her sparkling eyes, a great weight lifted from his heart. He didn't linger; he turned and returned to his seat.
Li Yue and Zhang Xiao also happily wrote down their names.
Several more names quickly appeared on the literary society's registration form. Xu Nianlei's name, mixed in among them, no longer seemed so abrupt and lonely.
A few days later, the literary society held its first activity in the library's reading room. The instructor was a gentle and refined female teacher. She asked everyone to give brief self-introductions and talk about their understanding of literature.
When it was Xu Nianlei's turn, her voice trembled with nervousness. She lowered her head, almost stammering, "I...I'm called Xu Nianlei...I like...I like how words can express...express things that can't be said..."
She spoke haltingly and incoherently. Several students from other classes showed signs of impatience.
Lu Baiyan sat diagonally behind her, and he could sense her embarrassment and panic. In the brief, awkward silence that followed her words, he spoke calmly, his voice soft yet clear to everyone:
"I think Xu Nianlei put it very well. The charm of literature lies in its ability to capture those unspeakable emotions and thoughts, giving them shape and sound. Her essay 'Light in the Crack' perfectly embodies this."
His words not only supported her viewpoint but also subtly acknowledged her talent by quoting her work without revealing the issue of royalties.
The supervising teacher's eyes lit up, and her gaze towards Xu Nianlei held a hint of appreciation: "'Light in the Crack'? I think I've heard your Chinese teacher mention it before; it's a very good article. So it was written by you."
The other students also cast surprised and curious glances at them.
Xu Nianlei was completely unprepared for Lu Baiyan to speak up at this moment, let alone mention her essay. She abruptly looked up at him, meeting his calm yet encouraging eyes. In that instant, all her tension and embarrassment seemed to be soothed by his gaze.
She took a deep breath, mustered her courage, and added, "Thank you... I will continue to work hard."
Although the sound was still not loud, it was much clearer than before.
After the event, Xu Nianlei left with Li Yue and Zhang Xiao. As she walked out of the reading room, she couldn't help but look back. Lu Baiyan was discussing something with his instructor, his profile appearing focused and serene under the light.
He always seems to be able to do this, providing her with the support she needs most in the most appropriate way when she needs it most.
"Lu Baiyan is such a nice guy, he even spoke up for you," Li Yue whispered to Xu Nianlei.
“Yes, the class monitor is the class monitor; his perspective is different,” Zhang Xiao remarked.
Xu Nianlei didn't reply, but simply nodded silently. The complex emotions in her heart, like vines, quietly spread, binding that name even tighter.
She knew that joining the literary society was just the beginning. There was still a long road ahead. But this time, she was no longer passively accepting everything. She began to try to make her voice heard, however faintly, in her area of expertise.
As Lu Baiyan watched her and her friends leave, he knew she had taken another small step forward. The literary society would become her new sanctuary and training ground. What he needed to do was continue to clear obstacles for her from the shadows, watching over that glimmer of light, watching it grow stronger until it could illuminate her own path.
Leilei, walk bravely forward. I will be behind you, making sure no shadow can engulf you again.
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