Chapter 45
The senior year of high school began in early August. The summer heat hadn't subsided, but a tense atmosphere, completely out of place with the holidays, already permeated the campus of the county's No. 1 High School. The classrooms of the top classes were located on the top floor of the teaching building, relatively quiet, seemingly symbolizing the arduous climb to the summit.
When Xu Nianlei stepped into the classroom of Senior Three (Class 1), her palms were slightly sweaty. Many new faces were already seated inside, all top students selected from various regular classes; a silent sense of competition permeated the air. She instinctively wanted to go to the corner by the window, but found that seat was already taken. She had no choice but to find an empty seat in the middle row, put her bag down, and her gaze involuntarily drifted towards the door.
Lu Baiyan walked in. He was still the center of attention, his aloof demeanor standing out among the top students in the honors class. His gaze swept across the classroom, quickly landing on Xu Nianlei. Their eyes met briefly, and he gave a barely perceptible nod before walking to an empty seat in the front row.
They were no longer deskmates. A barely perceptible sense of loss flickered through Xu Nianlei's heart, but it was quickly replaced by a stronger sense of urgency. Here, everyone was an opponent, and slacking off meant falling behind.
The pace of senior year is suffocatingly fast. Courses move at breakneck speed, tests are handed out in droves, and evening study sessions are extended to 10 p.m. Teachers no longer have the patience to explain the basics; instead, they focus on guiding thinking and instilling test-taking skills. Everyone is like a wound-up machine, frantically operating in a sea of questions.
Xu Nianlei felt unprecedented pressure. The top class was full of hidden talents, and her 48th place, which she barely got into, seemed insignificant. In the first monthly exam, her ranking plummeted to the lower middle of the class. After learning her results, Wang Xiuqin didn't react hysterically like before, but her cold gaze and the sarcastic "I knew you'd show your true colors" were more suffocating than any physical or verbal abuse.
She began to doubt herself. Was it really just luck? Was she simply not suited for this place?
Just as she was sinking into self-doubt again, one day after school, she found a folded piece of paper in her drawer. Unfolding it, she saw Lu Baiyan's familiar handwriting; there was no heading, no signature, only a few simple lines:
"The significance of being in an elite class is not about maintaining your ranking, but about walking alongside stronger individuals and seeing a higher sky. Growing pains during the adaptation period are inevitable. Stay steady, identify and address any weaknesses, and don't panic."
Below is another, simpler solution to a question she got wrong on her recent monthly exam.
Looking at the clear, strong handwriting and precise guidance, Xu Nianlei's eyes welled up with tears. He saw her struggle; he even knew where she had gone wrong. He didn't comfort her in person, but instead offered her a rope to climb up in the way that least hurt her pride.
She carefully tucked the note into the blue notebook Lu Baiyan had given her. The words on the notebook's title page, "The road ahead is long, but also bright," seemed to carry even more weight because of this newly added note.
She took a deep breath, reopened the test paper, and reworked the wrong question following his suggested approach. Suddenly, her mind cleared.
She stopped worrying about rankings and focused on understanding every wrong question and mastering every knowledge point. She began to use her spare time during breaks and after meals to repeatedly review the materials on the USB drive and the blue notebook that Lu Baiyan had given her. There was not only knowledge there, but also a calming power.
Occasionally, she would run into Lu Baiyan when going to the water room to get water or going up and down the stairs. He would usually just nod at her or give her a look, rarely speaking. But sometimes, he would say something extremely brief:
"For the last big math problem, pay attention to case-by-case analysis."
"You can use more advanced vocabulary in your English essays; your vocabulary is sufficient."
"For the physics model, just understand the core forces involved."
His advice was always brief and to the point, yet it always hit the nail on the head regarding the core of her current studies. Xu Nianlei gradually understood that on this new and more brutal battlefield, he was protecting her in a different way—no longer providing meticulous care, but rather acting as a lighthouse, offering direction when she was lost, giving her a glimmer of light when she was discouraged, and guiding her to move forward by relying on her own strength.
Senior year of high school was a monotonous gray-white, with time divided into units measured in hours or even minutes. But amidst this grayness, Xu Nianlei felt like a greedy sponge, frantically absorbing knowledge and gradually forging her will.
She was no longer easily defeated by Wang Xiuqin's words and learned to let them go in one ear and out the other. She began to try to set aside a little time on weekends to continue writing short pieces and submitting them to Xinzhi Bookstore. Although the royalties were meager, it was an achievement that belonged entirely to her and was not controlled by anyone else.
She even formed a small study support group with two other girls from regular classes who were also currently struggling academically. During lunch breaks, they would discuss challenging problems together, share their study methods, and encourage each other. This equal friendship, based on shared effort, brought her a long-lost sense of warmth.
In the third monthly exam, Xu Nianlei's grades steadily improved, returning her to the middle of the class. On the day the results were announced, she saw Lu Baiyan brush past her in the corridor, and the corners of his mouth seemed to curve upwards almost imperceptibly.
That fleeting arc, like a pebble thrown into a lake, rippled through her heart. She knew this wasn't the end; there was still a long way to go to reach the top. But at least, she had begun to gain a foothold in this new battlefield teeming with formidable competitors.
It was late autumn evening study hall, and the cold wind howled outside the window. The classroom was brightly lit, with only the scratching sound of pens scratching on paper. Xu Nianlei finished a science practice test, rubbed her aching wrists, and looked up at the tall, straight back of the person in front of her.
He was still focused on calculating something, the desk lamp casting a soft glow on him.
Xu Nianlei withdrew her gaze and looked down at her open blue notebook, the words on the title page clearly visible under the light.
The road ahead is long, but also bright.
She had come to a profound understanding of the passage of time. As for Can Can… she seemed to see that in the distant future, it wasn’t all darkness; at least one light was always on, guiding her and warming her.
She picked up her pen and solemnly wrote on a new page of her notebook:
November Monthly Exam Summary: There are still gaps in physics electromagnetism, and the speed of chemical equilibrium calculation needs to be improved. There has been progress in mathematical analytic geometry, keep it up. Next goal: to enter the top 30 in the class.
She closed her notebook, took a deep breath, and plunged back into the endless sea of problems.
The battle continues. But this time, her steps are more resolute than ever before.
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