Chapter 52
The days of waiting for the results were like a long tide, constantly washing over her between hope and anxiety. Xu Nianlei tried her best to remain calm, but deep down, a tension was always taut, growing tighter and tighter as the announcement date approached.
That afternoon, she was absentmindedly tidying her bookshelf when her phone suddenly vibrated. It was an unfamiliar local number. She hesitated for a moment, then answered the call.
"Is this Xu Nianlei?" A somewhat familiar middle-aged male voice came from the other end of the phone.
"Yes, that's me. And who are you?"
"I am Manager Wang from Xinzhi Bookstore. You submitted an article to us before."
Xu Nianlei's heart skipped a beat. "Manager Wang, hello, is there anything I can help you with?"
"Here's the thing, our bookstore is planning a 'Sparkling Lights of a Small Town' local author sharing session next month, mainly inviting young people with writing potential. We think your writing is very powerful and would like to invite you to participate as a student representative. Would you be interested?"
Xu Nianlei was completely stunned. A sharing session? Telling her story in front of everyone? This was simply unimaginable to her.
"I...I can't..." she instinctively refused, "I don't know how to speak in front of many people..."
“Don’t worry, it’s just a simple sharing of your creative insights,” Manager Wang said gently. “We believe your experiences and writing can empower many young people. And…” he paused, “this is also a great opportunity for more people to see your talent.”
Xu Nianlei's fingers tightened slightly as she gripped her phone. She remembered what Lu Boyan had once said—"Your words deserve to be seen."
“I…I need to think about it,” she finally said.
After hanging up the phone, she sat at her desk for a long time. Outside the window, the summer sun shone brightly, dappling the desk with the shadows of the trees. She opened the blue notebook, looking at the words she had written, page by page, the traces of struggle in the darkness, the moments of searching for light in the cracks.
Maybe...maybe she really can?
This unexpected invitation was like a pebble thrown into a calm lake, creating ripples in her heart. She felt both fear and an irrepressible sense of anticipation.
As evening fell, she found herself inexplicably drawn to the county library. This had once been her refuge from reality, and also the place where she and Lu Baiyan had their first real conversation. She sat down in her familiar seat, her gaze unconsciously drifting to the opposite side—where there was no one.
Just as she was about to leave, a figure sat down opposite her. Xu Nianlei looked up, her heart suddenly racing.
It is Lu Baiyan.
He looked a bit thinner, but his eyes remained calm. He held two books in his hands and sat down naturally opposite her, as if this were just one of countless chance encounters.
"Long time no see," he said first, his voice as steady as ever.
"Hmm...long time no see." Xu Nianlei felt her voice was a little tight.
A brief silence fell between them, with only the soft sound of turning pages echoing in the quiet reading room.
"Are you planning to accept the bookstore's invitation?" Lu Baiyan suddenly asked.
Xu Nianlei looked at him in surprise: "How did you know?"
“Manager Wang also contacted me,” he said casually. “He hopes I can participate as a representative of outstanding students.”
Xu Nianlei suddenly realized. It wasn't because she was special; she had just been invited incidentally. A slight disappointment crossed her mind, but she quickly suppressed it.
"I...haven't thought about it yet." She lowered her head. "I'm not good at speaking in front of a lot of people."
“I remember you used to be too shy to speak in class,” Lu Baiyan said softly, “but now you’re able to share your work with the literary society.”
Xu Nianlei was stunned. He even knew this?
“Growth is achieved by constantly stepping out of your comfort zone,” he continued, his gaze falling on her face. “Your writing deserves to be heard by more people. And…” he paused, “sometimes, facing the past is the only way to better move towards the future.”
His words were like a key, gently knocking on the tightly closed door of her heart. Xu Nianlei thought of her father's diary, of those dark past events, and of the struggles she had endured along the way. Perhaps, transforming these experiences into words and sharing them with those who might be going through similar difficulties would indeed have its significance.
“I’ll consider it,” she said softly, her tone more firm this time.
Lu Baiyan nodded, said nothing more, and lowered his head to read his book. Sunlight streamed through the window, casting soft shadows on his sharply defined profile. Xu Nianlei watched him, suddenly remembering Zhang Dashan's package and the fragmented words in her father's diary.
“Lu Baiyan,” she mustered her courage to ask, “do you think...it’s possible for a person to truly escape the past?”
He looked up at her with deep eyes: "The past is a mark that shapes us, not a shackle that defines us. The important thing is not to get rid of it, but to learn to live with it and then transcend it."
His answer was as precise as ever, hitting the nail on the head regarding her deepest confusion. Xu Nianlei suddenly understood why she was always drawn to him—he possessed a clarity and composure that seemed to see through the world, allowing her to find direction when she was lost.
As they left the library, the sun was setting. The two walked side by side along the tree-lined path, their shadows stretching long behind them.
“Whatever decision you make,” Lu Baiyan stopped at the fork in the road and looked at her, “remember that it is your own choice, not to meet anyone else’s expectations.”
Xu Nianlei nodded emphatically: "I understand."
As she watched him turn and walk away, she suddenly spoke: "Lu Baiyan!"
He turned around.
"Thank you... for your help all this time."
He nodded slightly, then turned and disappeared into the afterglow of the setting sun. Xu Nianlei stood there until his figure completely disappeared before slowly walking home.
Back home, Wang Xiuqin was busy in the kitchen. Hearing the door open, she poked her head out: "Nianlei, a Mr. Wang just called, saying he'd like to invite you to some event..."
“I understand, Mom,” Xu Nianlei said calmly. “I received a call.”
Wang Xiuqin wiped her hands and came out, a hint of hesitation on her face: "Are you... planning to go?"
"I'm still thinking about it."
To Xu Nianlei's surprise, Wang Xiuqin did not directly oppose or exert pressure as she had done before. She simply said softly, "If you want to go, then go. If you don't want to go, don't force yourself. You've already done very well."
These words, so simple, brought a lump to Xu Nianlei's throat. Looking at the new wrinkles around her mother's eyes, she suddenly realized that it wasn't just herself who had changed.
In the stillness of the night, she opened the blue notebook again and wrote on the latest page:
"I was invited to a sharing session, and I felt a mix of fear and anticipation. He said: 'Only by facing the past can we move towards the future.' My mother's attitude surprised me. Perhaps, change is really happening. The results will be released tomorrow, and no matter what the outcome, I must learn to accept it and move forward."
She closed her notebook and walked to the window. The night sky was dotted with stars, and the early summer breeze carried the fragrance of gardenias. She thought of Lu Baiyan's words, the subtle changes in her mother, and all the little things that had happened along her journey.
Perhaps, this is what growing up is like—finding your direction slowly through hesitation and choices; becoming stronger by facing fears one by one.
The results will be announced tomorrow. Regardless of the outcome, she knows that a new chapter in her life has begun. And this time, she will hold her pen tightly and write her own story.
In the distance, the city lights stretched out like a galaxy. Xu Nianlei stood by the window, and for the first time, she felt that although the future was unknown, it was no longer frightening.
Because this time, she was ready.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
