Chapter 54
On the last weekend of July, a banner reading "Light of a Small Town - Youth Sharing Session" was hung early in the morning outside Xinzhi Bookstore. In the soft morning light, staff busily set up the venue, arranging chairs and adjusting the sound system. The bookstore's street-facing windows were spotless, reflecting the gradually awakening street.
Xu Nianlei woke up very early. Standing in front of the wardrobe, she hesitated for the first time about what to wear. Ultimately, she chose the gray wool coat that Lu Baiyan had anonymously given her; despite the heat, she needed this symbolic armor. The coat was spotless, carrying the fresh scent of sunshine and soap.
Wang Xiuqin quietly prepared breakfast for her and slipped a bottle of water into her hand before she left: "Don't be nervous, speak well."
Xu Nianlei nodded and noticed that her mother's eyes were a little red.
When she entered the bookstore, there was still half an hour before the event started, but the venue was already quite crowded. There were parents with their children, students around her age, and some adults who looked like teachers. She spotted Li Yue and Zhang Xiao in the crowd; they waved enthusiastically at her, giving her a thumbs-up.
Backstage, Manager Wang was confirming the procedures with Lu Baiyan. Upon seeing Xu Nianlei, he greeted her warmly, "Xu, you're here! You look great today." He then turned to Lu Baiyan, "Lu, would you like to go over the procedures first?"
Lu Baiyan was dressed simply in a white shirt and black trousers, which made his figure appear even more upright. He looked at Xu Nianlei, his gaze as calm as ever: "Are you ready?"
Xu Nianlei took a deep breath: "Mmm."
They were seated next to each other while waiting to go on stage. In the cramped space, they could clearly hear each other breathing. Xu Nianlei's fingers unconsciously twisted the hem of her clothes, her palms sweaty.
“Remember to breathe,” Lu Baiyan suddenly whispered. “Imagine the people in the audience as bookshelves in a library.”
This strange analogy startled Xu Nianlei for a moment, then she couldn't help but chuckle softly. The tension miraculously dissipated somewhat.
The sharing session began. First up were several local literature enthusiasts who shared their creative insights. Next up was Lu Baiyan.
When he stepped onto the stage, a small commotion arose from the audience. As this year's top scorer, he was undoubtedly the focus of the entire event. Yet, he remained composed, his voice clear and steady as he recounted his learning methods and personal journey, offering no boasting, no preaching, only rational analysis and sincere advice.
Xu Nianlei watched him from below the stage and suddenly understood why she was attracted to him—he possessed a maturity and insight beyond his years, like a lighthouse that would never tilt.
It was her turn.
When the host introduced her, he specifically mentioned her story of "persisting in her dreams despite adversity." Xu Nianlei felt that everyone's eyes were on her, and her heart, which had just calmed down, began to race again.
She stood up, just as Lu Baiyan was coming off the stage. In the instant they brushed past each other, he said very softly, "You can do it."
These three words were like a ray of light, cleaving through the last hesitation in her heart.
Standing in front of the microphone, Xu Nianlei looked at the densely packed audience below and took a deep breath.
"Hello everyone, I am Xu Nianlei." Her voice trembled slightly at first, but quickly stabilized. "Today, standing here, I want to share not my success story, but a story about 'light in the cracks'."
She began to recount her story. From the home filled with arguments and violence, to the days of being isolated at school; from the despair of being kicked out of her home on that rainy night, to the moment she discovered the power of words in the library; from countless thoughts of giving up, to finally finding her own glimmer of light in the darkness.
She did not shy away from those embarrassing past events, nor did she try to hide her inner vulnerability. When she spoke of her father's diary, her mother's changes, and those who lent a helping hand in her time of need, her voice, though calm, carried a powerful and moving force.
The audience was completely silent; some people were quietly wiping their eyes.
“I used to think that fate had dealt me a bad hand.” Xu Nianlei’s gaze swept across the room, finally landing on the quiet figure in the back row. “But now I understand that the hand you are dealt is not important; what matters is how you play it. Everyone has their own cracks, but light can always shine through those cracks.”
She held up the blue notebook: "This is my 'light'—it records every fall and every rise, every moment of despair and hope. I want to tell everyone who is going through a difficult time that darkness will not last forever, and as long as you are willing, you can always find your own light."
The applause was thunderous. Xu Nianlei bowed slightly amidst the deafening applause, feeling as if all her strength had been drained, but she felt an unprecedented sense of ease.
As she stepped off the stage, Lu Baiyan stood by the aisle and nodded slightly to her. In that moment, she saw clear approval in his eyes.
After the sharing session, many audience members surrounded her, asking for autographs and contact information. A girl wearing glasses, with tears in her eyes, said to her, "Thank you. My family situation is very similar to yours... Your story gave me courage."
Xu Nianlei carefully signed autographs for everyone and patiently answered their questions. She discovered that when she stopped running away from the past, those past pains actually became a force that could help others.
As the crowd gradually dispersed, Manager Wang excitedly approached: "That was a great success! Xu, your sharing was particularly moving. Our bookstore would like to sign a long-term contract with you to write a column for us regularly. Would you be interested?"
Xu Nianlei was stunned and looked at Lu Baiyan beside her. He nodded slightly, his eyes encouraging.
"I do," she heard herself say.
On their way home, the setting sun cast long shadows of them. Xu Nianlei and Lu Boyan walked side by side, unusually silent.
"Thank you," Xu Nianlei said softly. "If it weren't for you, I might never have had the courage to stand here."
“Courage has always been in your heart.” Lu Baiyan stopped and looked at her. “I just helped you find it.”
They stood at the crossroads where they were parting ways, the afterglow of the setting sun bathing everything in gold.
"When do we go to school to register?" Xu Nianlei asked.
"Next week," Lu Baiyan said. "And you?"
"The week after next." Xu Nianlei lowered her head. "F University is in the south of the city, and A University is in the north of the city. After that... it may be difficult to see each other again."
Lu Baiyan was silent for a moment, then took an envelope out of his bag and handed it to her: "This is for you."
Xu Nianlei took the envelope; it was very light, and there seemed to be only one piece of paper inside.
"I'll go back and check it out later." After saying that, he turned and left without saying goodbye.
Xu Nianlei stood there until his figure disappeared around the street corner before slowly opening the envelope.
Inside was a photograph. It showed her speaking on stage at yesterday's sharing session. Sunlight streamed in through the bookstore's glass windows, falling directly on her; she smiled slightly, her eyes bright and resolute.
On the back of the photo was his familiar handwriting:
"You have found your own light."
There was no signature or date.
Holding the photo, Xu Nianlei finally shed tears. But this time, they were tears of relief, tears of growth.
She knew they were both embarking on new journeys. Perhaps they would never meet again, or perhaps they would drift further and further apart on their own paths. But those days they spent together, those silent acts of protection, those unspoken moments of understanding, would become the most precious imprints of their youth.
As night fell, the lights of the small town gradually came on. Xu Nianlei stood by the window, looking at the photograph in her hand.
The road ahead is long, but this time, she is no longer afraid to walk alone.
Because she has come to understand that true light has always been within her own heart.
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