The curtains were drawn tightly shut, completely blocking out the midday sun.
Only one wall lamp was turned on in the bedroom, its dim yellow light barely outlining the furniture like shadows submerged in water.
Yu Jiuyuan curled up on the bay window, holding a hot water bottle that had long since lost its warmth.
She had been in this position for almost three hours, her fingertips unconsciously picking at the tassels on the cushion, making the velvet frayed.
It's the seventh day. The fever has completely subsided, the dryness in her throat has disappeared, and even the doctor said she's recovering exceptionally well, with almost no trace of her illness.
But she just didn't want to move, didn't want to see anyone, and didn't even want to draw back the curtains to see if the sky outside was sunny or cloudy.
Rong Shenghan's words last night, "Get well soon first," were like a thorn stuck in her heart.
I'm not angry at his restraint, but at my own loss of composure.
He easily swayed her, throwing her into a panic. In the end, all she could do was tear up and curse him as a bastard, acting like a sore loser.
This is so unlike her.
Yu Jiuyuan considers herself a natural hunter, precise, calm, and able to control her actions with ease.
When she was trying to win over Yuan Xu, she patiently stayed with him in the laboratory for three days and three nights, just to wait for a rare beetle to emerge.
Despite Xie Zhecheng's indifference, she calmly handed him the competition materials he cared about most, striking the perfect balance.
Even with the most difficult Lin Yanran, she could find the weakness beneath his arrogant exterior and gradually break down his defenses.
Only Rong Shenghan.
This man is like a fog; you think you've seen through his gentleness, but at some point you'll encounter the ice in his eyes.
Just when you think you've figured out his bottom line, he'll suddenly smile and back down, making you realize that his previous sharpness was just an illusion.
What's even worse is that he can always easily stir up her emotions, make her lose control, make her lose her composure, and make her forget her original purpose.
"What are you thinking about?"
A deep voice suddenly sounded at the door, and Yu Jiuyuan looked up abruptly like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.
Rong Shenghan had been standing there for an unknown amount of time, holding a tray in his hand. The rising steam blurred his features, softening his usually unpredictable demeanor.
She didn't speak, but lowered her head again, her gaze falling back on the tassels of the cushion, like a sulking clam, its shell tightly shut.
Rong Shenghan didn't mind and walked straight to the bay window, placing the tray on the low table.
The aroma of congee, mingled with a faint scent of ginger, wafted through the air—the taste she'd grown accustomed to during her illness. "Aunt Zhang made ginger congee; have some."
There was also a small dish of pickled vegetables on the tray, finely chopped, from her favorite brand.
She even chose that white porcelain spoon with gold trim, which had a small chip on the edge, but it was the one she was used to using.
These details are like warm water, slowly flowing over the lake of the heart, yet carrying a weight that cannot be ignored.
Yu Jiuyuan's fingertips paused, and she suddenly felt a little irritated.
She doesn't need these.
She didn't need him to remember her preferences, nor did she need his thoughtfulness, and she certainly didn't need to show any vulnerability in front of him.
They should have been in a hunter-prey relationship, a game of taming and being tamed. Introducing these things will only make the game more chaotic.
"I won't eat," she said sullenly, her voice a little hoarse.
Rong Shenghan didn't insist, but simply pushed the bowl of porridge towards her, then sat down on the carpet, leaning against the bay window, maintaining a distance that wasn't too close or too far from her. "Are you sulking?"
"No."
"Is he angry?"
No, not at all.
Yu Jiuyuan's voice grew softer and softer, and even she herself felt that she lacked confidence.
She was indeed being difficult, angry with him, and even more angry with herself.
I'm angry at myself for losing control of my heart after just one kiss from him yesterday, angry at myself for getting upset over just one question from him now, angry at myself for always feeling inappropriate emotions towards him when I should be considering him as one of my "targets".
“Yuan Xu just sent a message asking if you’re feeling better. He said he’s cultivated a new type of fluorescent bacteria and wants you to come and take a look.”
Rong Shenghan suddenly spoke, his tone as calm as if he were talking about the weather, "Xie Zhecheng also asked me to tell you that he has already drafted the joint club activity plan for next semester, and he is waiting for you to review it."
He deliberately mentioned two other people, as if to remind her of something.
Yu Jiuyuan's heart sank suddenly.
Yes, Yuan Xu, Xie Zhecheng, and Lin Yanran.
They are all her "targets," indispensable pieces in this game called "strategy."
Rong Shenghan is just one of them, perhaps more important, perhaps more difficult to control, but in essence, he is no different from the others.
She shouldn't treat him differently.
But... why does a strange bitterness rise in my heart when I think about this?
Just like playing with jigsaw puzzles as a child, even though you've put all the pieces together, you always feel like something's missing, even if that piece doesn't affect the overall integrity, it still bothers you.
"I understand," she said softly, straining her fingertips to break off one of the tassels.
Rong Shenghan looked at her tense profile, saw the struggle that flashed in her eyes, and suddenly smiled. "Yuanyuan," he called her name, his voice very soft, "you don't have to always force yourself."
Yu Jiuyuan suddenly looked up at him, her eyes filled with wariness, like a hedgehog whose secret had been exposed. "What did I force myself to do?"
"Force yourself to calm down, force yourself to be rational, and force yourself to hide all your emotions."
Rong Shenghan's gaze was deep, like a bottomless lake. "You don't have to do this."
"That's just how I am."
Yu Jiuyuan immediately retorted, her tone carrying a hint of barely perceptible panic, "I've always been like this."
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