Chapter 35 I can give you anything, but what if I wanted you? ...
"Ah Li!"
Xie's body, which she had been holding together, was like a dam about to collapse, or a mountain torrent carrying more than a decade of hatred, and was destroyed in an instant.
It's her fault!
It's her fault!
If she hadn't been soft-hearted back then, if she had spoken up sooner, if she had been more attentive over the years, perhaps everything would have been different.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
The person is dead, what's the use of saying sorry? Who can you even tell?
Shen Qinglu lowered her eyes, slowly turned around, and turned her back to her.
She cried, blaming herself repeatedly.
Yu Qingxue supported her and cried along with her, "Mother, why didn't you tell me beforehand? Even Ali hates you for doing this. If you had known this would happen, why did you do it in the first place? You were so foolish!"
This is her fault for not discussing it with me beforehand, and for revealing the truth.
She understood, and felt even more heartbroken.
"I shouldn't have been so blinded by greed. I was so foolish, so foolish!"
Shen Qinglu turned around, her dark, empty eyes staring straight at Yu Qingxue. "Why did you insult my grandmother? You're such a bad person!"
"Ali!" Xie thought that even in this state she still remembered to protect her. Guilt and grief surged up at the same time, and she subconsciously stopped her, "You can't say that about your aunt. She doesn't know anything."
She bit her lip, looking aggrieved. "Grandmother, Ali misspoke just now. Ali doesn't believe you're in cahoots with bad people. Did this bad person force you to do it?"
“Ali, no…no, this has nothing to do with her. It was all Grandmother’s fault. Grandmother is the one who made all the mistakes. I’m sorry to you.” Madam Xie once again defended Yu Qingxue, her deep love for her daughter truly unwavering.
What a touching story of mother and daughter's love!
Shen Qinglu looked at them, her face growing increasingly wooden.
If it weren't for this fire, the truth would have remained buried for who knows how long.
She turned her back again, not looking at them, but gazing at Shen Linlang with a pitiful and aggrieved expression.
Shen Linlang's heart was shattered beyond repair. She was in agony and furious, and almost shouted at Madam Xie, "Mother, why did you do this to me?"
She was the only daughter in the General's family for generations. She was pampered and lived a life of luxury since childhood. Her family indulged her every whim, which fostered her proud and straightforward nature.
If things had gone according to the Shen family's plan for her, her marriage would certainly have been to a man of equal social standing. People jokingly said that her family was trying to find a son-in-law through the imperial examinations, but in reality, she had fallen in love with Yu Zhiheng at first sight and persuaded her parents to agree to the marriage.
Since marrying into the Yu family, she has not worried about displeasing her husband's family. She has restrained her spoiled princess temperament, learned to act dignifiedly, and treated others gently. She especially respects her mother-in-law, Madam Xie, without the slightest contempt or neglect.
To ensure her sister-in-law found a good marriage, she took her along whenever she went out, broadening her horizons, helping her make friends with ladies from prominent families, and letting those ladies see her. When her sister-in-law got married, she provided all the dowry, contributing money and effort without seeking credit or showing off, thus giving her husband's family ample face.
Who would have thought that all her generosity and easygoing nature would become a knife used by others to betray her, and that they would switch the child she was carrying for ten months!
"Mother, tell me, what did I do wrong that makes you hate me so much?"
"No, no, you are perfect in every way. It's me... it's my fault, I deserve to die!" Madam Xie dared not look at her, her body swaying precariously.
“Linlang, Mother made a mistake, but she did it for the good of the Yu family. She must have seen through Ali’s impropriety long ago, which is why she switched the children.”
What a fine excuse for "doing what's best for the Yu family"!
Shen Qinglu is not the original owner of this body. For her, the so-called family affection is far less important than her own interests. Therefore, she is neither sad nor heartbroken. All she feels is deep irony and a sense of injustice for Shen Linlang.
Shen Linlang then asked Madam Xie, "Mother, now you should tell me what my child will look like when he is born?"
The same question led to the same result: Xie closed her eyes and fainted.
Yu Zhiheng rushed forward, repeatedly calling out "Mother," and hurriedly sent someone to fetch a doctor. Turning his head, he saw Shen Linlang's indifferent expression, her tightly furrowed brows revealing a pair of displeased eyes.
Shen Qinglu's face grew increasingly blank as she slowly retreated to Shen Linlang's side. "Mother, I'm so tired."
Shen Linlang came to her senses and desperately blamed herself, "It's my fault. I forgot that you stayed up all night. How could I bear it? I'll take you to rest now."
"Mother, are you abandoning me?" Yu Liuzhu called out to her.
She hardened her heart and said, "I am not your mother."
The devastation and ashes left by the fire are like the hearts of the entire Yu family; no matter how much they are renovated and repaired in the future, they can never return to what they were before.
"Mother!" Yu Liuzhu cried out, "You love me the most, you said you would protect me for the rest of your life and never let me suffer any grievances, how could you not be my mother?"
Everything that seemed amiss in her past life now had a logical explanation. Because she wasn't the real daughter of the Yu family, her mother wouldn't visit her, and the people in the Marquis's mansion would bully her.
She would rather everyone have wronged her than accept this truth.
"Tang'er, I knew nothing about you and Ali being switched. Your mother has loved you since you were little. The kindness of raising you is more important than the kindness of giving birth to you. You can't disown her. Go find her quickly. Don't worry about me. I'm fine as long as you don't break your mother's heart." Yu Qingxue was so anxious that she almost pushed her, urging her to go after Shen Linlang.
Looking at the person who had been the only one to visit her in her past life, she felt no gratitude, only repeated questions: Why? Why is this person her own mother?
"Aunt... should I continue to call you Aunt, or should I call you Mother?"
"Of course it's my aunt!"
Yu Qingxue's heart was bleeding when she said those words.
She can't acknowledge her biological daughter because her daughter's marriage and future are still in someone else's hands. If her mother hadn't acted without consulting her, she wouldn't be in such a passive position. Now, there's nothing she can do but continue to endure humiliation.
"Go quickly, don't stand there. If you're too late, your mother will be heartbroken. She raised you for so many years, hoping you would marry into a wealthy family. How can you disappoint her?"
The phrase "marrying into a high-ranking family" was a wake-up call for Yu Liuzhu.
Yu Liuzhu chased after them and caught up with Shen Linlang, Shen Qinglu, and Yu Jingliang near Liufang Xiaozhu.
The main house of Ruian Residence was burned down. Although the side rooms were not affected, Shen Linlang was unwilling to let her biological daughter continue to live there and naturally wanted to take her back to her own courtyard.
The night was deep, with no moon or stars, only a chilling cold that pierced to the bone.
"Mother, please don't leave me..."
Shen Linlang was heartbroken. How could she just abandon the person she had pampered and raised for more than ten years?
She had barely taken a step when Shen Qinglu grabbed her sleeve. "Mother, she's never suffered hardship or been mistreated. She definitely can't handle this kind of blow. Go and take care of her. I'm fine. No one has cared for me all these years. I've gotten used to it."
Such words were like cutting off her own flesh and tearing out her heart, so she hardened her heart and endured it.
"Ali, your mother may not be used to it for a while, but don't worry, your mother will definitely protect you from now on, so don't be afraid."
"I believe in my mother."
Yu Jingliang was furious when he saw Yu Jingxian following behind and standing next to Yu Liuzhu.
What the other party said was even more infuriating.
"Mother, this is Tang'er, your most beloved Tang'er. When she was little, she accidentally scraped her hand and you were heartbroken and cried. How can you be so heartless! You said you would abandon her and then just left her alone!"
"Brother, why did this happen?" Yu Liuzhu asked, tears streaming down her face. Her already frail complexion turned even paler. "How can I not be Mother's daughter? I am clearly Mother's daughter! What did I do wrong?"
"She didn't do anything wrong, so am I the one who's wrong?" Shen Qinglu pretended to be sad, tears falling silently down her face.
She knew best that no matter which face she wore, her current state was most likely to evoke sympathy and pity from others.
Sure enough, Shen Linlang's heart clenched instantly, as if someone had grabbed it hard.
Yu Jingliang, a young man of strong character and unwavering resolve, said, “Mother, you used to treat Tang’er as your own daughter, caring for her while neglecting me. Although I was angry, I never truly blamed you. Now that she is no longer your daughter, if you disregard Ali for her sake, I will never forgive you!”
Yu Jingxian scolded him, "Erlang, at a time like this you still hold grudges and are still targeting Tang'er. This is truly unbecoming of a gentleman and goes against the heart of a man!"
"Brother, you are heartless and indiscriminate, showing compassion for someone who has usurped your place while neglecting your own sister. Is this your gentlemanly conduct and manly spirit?"
The words "usurping another's nest" filled Yu Liuzhu with hatred, and she cried even more bitterly.
"Second brother, I know you don't like me, but I haven't done anything. What does this 'cuckoo in the nest' have to do with me? I don't understand why I'm not Mother's daughter anymore, why I've become an outsider?"
The sky was dark and gloomy, just like the oppressive atmosphere.
Not far away, Liufang Pavilion reveals another kind of elegant beauty in the night. The waterside pavilion is serene and complements the retro and exquisite lanterns under the eaves, like a fairyland left behind in the human world.
Shen Qinglu gazed into the distance, her face blank, her dark eyes seemingly detached from the situation. Suddenly, she blurted out, "That place is so beautiful, like a place where immortals live. Last time, it was so lively there. So many people were wearing beautiful clothes and eating all kinds of snacks. They were chatting and laughing so happily. I wanted to go and take a look, but Dujuan said I wasn't worthy and even pushed me into the water."
She turned her gaze back to Shen Linlang and clearly saw guilt and self-blame in the other's eyes.
"Mother, Sister Tang'er has lived there since she was little. You used to dote on her so much, how could she be so ungrateful? Why would she make things difficult for you?"
“That’s just the kind of person she is, greedy and despicable,” Yu Jingliang chimed in. “Before, she made me go to the Shen family so she could monopolize Mother’s favor. Now she wants to take me away from you. She’s truly insatiable!”
The brother and sister sang in perfect harmony, their voices perfectly synchronized.
Shen Qinglu thought that perhaps she was destined to be a brother and sister, and that was true for both of her lives.
Hearing their words, Shen Linlang's wavering stopped immediately.
Even though she once loved Yu Liuzhu so much, and still habitually cherished her, it couldn't overshadow her anger and hatred at the fact that her own daughter had been switched.
The courtyard she personally decorated was occupied by someone else's daughter, and even her own flesh and blood couldn't get a glimpse of it without being told by a servant that she was unworthy, and was even pushed into the water.
The thought of this happening countless times over the years made her heart feel like it was being slowly and painfully cut with a dull knife. The pain was not clean and quick, but rather unbearable.
"Go and help Tang'er pack her things later. Take away some clothes for changing, leave everything else behind, and then send her to the Jingxin Courtyard."
After instructing Granny Yu, she said to Shen Qinglu, "I will buy you new things later. Whatever you want, I will buy it for you. The courtyard will be renovated again. You can change it to whatever you want."
Shen Qinglu's eyes crinkled with joy, "Mother, you're so good. I love a mother like you."
They continued on their way, leaving Yu Liuzhu's cries behind.
As she turned the corner, she suddenly looked back.
The darkness of night made her dark eyes appear even more unfathomable, like a bottomless abyss capable of swallowing everything, sending chills down one's spine. Especially when she met Yu Liuzhu's gaze, she even smiled slightly.
The resentment in Yu Liuzhu's eyes froze, almost noticing by Yu Jingxian.
This cousin...
Is he really a fool?
*
The main courtyard of the Jade Mansion is located in the south and is the most magnificent.
The left wing is the study, and the right wing is the temporary living room where Yu Liuzhu used to occasionally stay.
Although it was called a temporary living room, the furniture was arranged in an elegant and thoughtful manner. Wardrobes, antique shelves, bookshelves, zither tables, and dressing tables were all present. On a pair of tall tables, there was a famille rose vase made by the imperial kiln, with peacock feathers inserted on one side and fresh loquat branches on the other.
Shen Qinglu stood outside the door, hesitating to go inside.
Shen Linlang thought she was uncomfortable or disliked it, so she quickly said, "You can stay here for now. Later, Mother will have someone change all the things inside and replace them with things you like."
"Mother, it's not that I don't like you, I just feel like I'm dreaming. Will this wonderful place really belong to me in the future?"
“Ali, this place isn’t very good. You can stay here while you’re with your mother. Once the courtyard is renovated, you can live there.”
She was satisfied with the answer and then went inside.
Shen Linlang coaxed her to sleep, and after she had closed her eyes for a long time and was breathing heavily, she quietly left.
Before leaving, he gave Xia Chan a deep look, frowned as if he wanted to say something, but said nothing. He then instructed a maid named Bao Kui to keep watch over her.
Bao Kuihua was a first-class maid in the main courtyard and had some acquaintance with Xia Chan.
The two naturally engaged in some conversation, almost like whispering to each other.
“When the old lady sent you to the Jingxin Courtyard, we felt sorry for you. Now it seems that you have hit the jackpot and had a stroke of good luck by accident.”
"The girl is a good one; she is truly my blessing."
"After today, countless people in the manor will envy you. Originally, the old lady was getting old, and you and Qiulu should have both sought a future for yourselves. These past few days, Qiulu has been trying to get close to the eldest young lady... I mean, the eldest young lady, hoping to take Xique's place. But people can't always plan ahead. Who would have thought that you would become the eldest young lady's person now?"
Bao Kui's words were all meant to be friendly, so when Xia Chan said she wasn't very familiar with the main courtyard and wanted to prepare some food for Shen Qinglu, she volunteered to do it.
As soon as she left, Xia Chan immediately went to the bedside, "Miss."
Shen Qinglu slowly opened her eyes, her pupils completely black.
"Find an excuse to go back to Ruianju later."
Xia Chan said she understood; her young lady wanted her to go over there and find out what was going on.
"Don't worry, young lady, I know what to do. I will make sure no one suspects us."
At this point, her eyes were full of admiration.
Whether intentional or by chance, the girl never made a single wrong move.
Even during the half-day she rested due to diarrhea, she didn't act aimlessly. Instead, when she went out to buy medicine, she bought some other things as Shen Qinglu instructed, such as a sleeping incense that would make people fall into a deep sleep.
All the plans for tonight were just a few words that Shen Qinglu had told her while she was changing clothes.
"It was the young lady who had the foresight to guess that the old lady would take all the blame upon herself, and instructed me to act according to the situation, telling the truth while pretending to lie, and admitting to locking the door."
Otherwise, if the old woman on night patrol had said that, people would have been suspicious, and there would have been some trouble.
“It’s not that I had foresight, but that I knew my grandmother’s love for her daughter,” Shen Qinglu said calmly.
If she hadn't loved her daughter so much, she wouldn't have agreed to the baby swap back then.
The experience was both thrilling and exciting, and Xia Chan still felt a lingering fear when she thought about it. "Miss, I'm still scared just thinking about it. What if something had gone wrong... You mustn't be so bold next time."
"Only by putting yourself in a life-or-death situation can you survive; how can you live if you don't die?" Shen Qinglu closed her eyes again, concealing the emotions she didn't want others to see.
To die and then be reborn; to live is to die.
This is her life.
*
Bao Kui's round trip took less than the time it takes for an incense stick to burn.
She brought over a vermilion lacquered and gilded food box, which contained several kinds of pastries, as well as a bowl of white fungus and pear soup. She casually warmed the pear soup next to the charcoal brazier, while placing the pastries on the table.
Xia Chan was naturally grateful, saying that she had gone to great lengths.
“We’ll definitely be working together a lot in the future, and I might need your help sometime. There’s no need for thanks,” she said with a smile, her words revealing a greater sense of intimacy than before.
The people around Xie Shi and Yu Qingxue were all people who later sold themselves into the household, and most of Shen Linlang's people, apart from the servants, were servants born into the Shen family, and she was no exception.
When Magpie had her accident, she had actually considered it. After all, she was of good age, and if she stayed in the main courtyard, she would only end up being assigned a steward by Shen Linlang. If she wanted to seek a better future, of course she would go to the Marquis's mansion with Yu Liuzhu.
Now that the eldest daughter in the manor has been replaced and is still quite naive, it's a good opportunity for an ambitious maid. If she takes a step back, she can manage the household; if she takes a step forward, she can become the mistress herself. She will certainly seize the opportunity.
When Xia Chan said she was going to Ruianju to collect some things, she quickly told Xia Chan that she could manage here and that she could go without worry.
After Xia Chan left, she first stood by the bedside, then thought for a moment and stood outside the door.
The night is deep, but people's hearts are restless.
She was like that, and so was Shen Qinglu.
She didn't know how much time had passed, but Shen Qinglu was still wide awake. Her heart was pounding, her mind was becoming increasingly clear, and her senses were becoming more acute. She could hear the sound of the wind and footsteps.
Suddenly, the sound of the wind and footsteps merged into one, seemingly right next to their ears, followed by an indescribable strangeness, and their tense hearts began to pound wildly.
"You started the fire tonight."
She suddenly opened her eyes as the sound of snowflakes began to fall.
The newcomer was dressed entirely in black, seemingly surrounded by light in the orange glow of the candlelight. His radiant, cold beauty, like the moon fallen to earth, and his aloof elegance, comparable to the frost-covered pines and bamboos, combined with his exceptionally handsome face, appeared eerie to her.
What evidence do you have?
"I won't report it to the authorities, nor will I tell anyone else, so why would I need evidence?"
“My grandmother admitted that she set the fire. You can report it to the authorities or tell others, go ahead.”
Mu Hanshi must have disliked her arrogance, looking down at her coldly.
She didn't flinch at all, not even blinking.
"You should know a lot of things, so you should also know that I'm not competing with Yu Liuzhu, but taking back what belongs to me."
"Take your things, and I won't interfere with what you do with them. I'm here to remind you that whatever you do, you must not hurt her."
"For the past ten years or so, she has occupied my place. You are not me, so why should I not hold a grudge?"
Who does this Mu Lao Jiu think he is?!
Shen Qinglu suddenly felt extremely angry.
"Don't advise others to do good if you haven't experienced their suffering yourself." Doesn't this person understand this?
Bao Kui, who was guarding outside, leaned against the door without reacting at all. She knew something was wrong, and she knew it was the person in front of her who was behind it. She cursed the creepy man in her heart for being so inhuman, appearing and disappearing like a ghost, neither human nor ghost, and even threatening her.
Mu Hanshi sensed her anger, and a slight ripple appeared in his calm eyes. He said, "I can make it up to you for her. Just tell me what you want. Money, status, power, I can give you anything."
What a boastful tone!
Such deep affection!
Why does she dislike listening to this so much? Why doesn't she want to listen to this?
Intense emotions ignited the evil within her. She threw off the covers and got out of bed, her dark eyes gleaming. Barefoot, she walked over step by step, tilting her head back and tiptoeing closer, her breath like a curse, each word like poison.
"What if I wanted you?"
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